I don't even want to talk about last week...
but I think I need to. I just don't know where to start. Probably with the thing that hurts the worst, so I'll just spit it out.
My cat, Tucker, passed away on Friday. He was thirteen years old and one of the sweetest creatures in the world. I'm going to miss having him sleep on the pillow next to me.
So, the fact I wasn't looking forward to having to work on Saturday at WTATI was made doubly worse by knowing that I had poor Tucker all wrapped up in a box in the trunk of my car waiting to take him to the pet crematorium after I got done.
Working the auditions wasn't actually all that bad, except that I had to work with Sarah and Jodi. I despise people who judge you based on what they are comfortable with and what they are good at, without taking into consideration that everyone is not exactly alike. I am not them, I do not think like them, I do not enjoy large crowds, I am not a high energy person. And I fucking despise it when they talk about me behind my back. So that Jodi can repeat verbatim everything they talked about back to me. Thanks for nothing. Especially the smug condescension behind "nothing against you, but you're just not cut out for this" with the implied "I'm so much better than you." Argh.
Plus, plus! The workshops were on Friday (WTATI is a two day event) and Sarah got all pissy with me when she asked me to call someone and I asked how, it's not like I had a cell phone. She practically threw her phone at me in disgust. Like they pay me enough to have one or that I'm somehow lacking because I choose not to own a cell phone. WTF? I laughed on Saturday when I found she'd had a phone installed in the room we were using for registration, because that meant the program had to pay for it and on Friday she was reading over the facility contract line by line to make sure they weren't charging us for one right before she told me to make that phone call. Fuck you, bitch! Haaaaaaaa!
And the department chair, OMG, she's been all "thank you so much, you've put so much hard work into this" like she's afraid I'm going to split tomorrow. She's been doing this since last week Monday, ever since she found out from the Dean that I'd been in over the weekend. How did he know, you ask? Because I bumped into him while I was putting in some overtime that previous Saturday. Now she's practically following me around asking me if everything is to my satisfaction.
Today absolutely sucked. I'm exhausted beyond belief from last week, I've gotten barely any sleep and with everything that has happened this weekend I wasn't able to sleep last night. I went to bed at 11:15pm and at 2:30am finally got up to take a half an Ambien. It didn't help; I just lie there until my alarm went off at 6:00am and got up and took my shower. I feel like someone spent all day punching me in the face. I just hope I can get some sleep tonight.
Oh, and I think I've got a kidney infection or something. I made an appointment later this week to talk with my doctor about my blood pressure, but I think I'm going to ask her for some other tests as long as I'm there. My back has been tender for over a week and it doesn't feel like a pulled muscle; it's more like I feel bruised from the inside out.
So, yeah, that's the state of Ellen right now. Pretty fucked up, but I think after the doctor appointment and I might take some time off here in the near future I'll get back to an even keel.
My cat, Tucker, passed away on Friday. He was thirteen years old and one of the sweetest creatures in the world. I'm going to miss having him sleep on the pillow next to me.
So, the fact I wasn't looking forward to having to work on Saturday at WTATI was made doubly worse by knowing that I had poor Tucker all wrapped up in a box in the trunk of my car waiting to take him to the pet crematorium after I got done.
Working the auditions wasn't actually all that bad, except that I had to work with Sarah and Jodi. I despise people who judge you based on what they are comfortable with and what they are good at, without taking into consideration that everyone is not exactly alike. I am not them, I do not think like them, I do not enjoy large crowds, I am not a high energy person. And I fucking despise it when they talk about me behind my back. So that Jodi can repeat verbatim everything they talked about back to me. Thanks for nothing. Especially the smug condescension behind "nothing against you, but you're just not cut out for this" with the implied "I'm so much better than you." Argh.
Plus, plus! The workshops were on Friday (WTATI is a two day event) and Sarah got all pissy with me when she asked me to call someone and I asked how, it's not like I had a cell phone. She practically threw her phone at me in disgust. Like they pay me enough to have one or that I'm somehow lacking because I choose not to own a cell phone. WTF? I laughed on Saturday when I found she'd had a phone installed in the room we were using for registration, because that meant the program had to pay for it and on Friday she was reading over the facility contract line by line to make sure they weren't charging us for one right before she told me to make that phone call. Fuck you, bitch! Haaaaaaaa!
And the department chair, OMG, she's been all "thank you so much, you've put so much hard work into this" like she's afraid I'm going to split tomorrow. She's been doing this since last week Monday, ever since she found out from the Dean that I'd been in over the weekend. How did he know, you ask? Because I bumped into him while I was putting in some overtime that previous Saturday. Now she's practically following me around asking me if everything is to my satisfaction.
Today absolutely sucked. I'm exhausted beyond belief from last week, I've gotten barely any sleep and with everything that has happened this weekend I wasn't able to sleep last night. I went to bed at 11:15pm and at 2:30am finally got up to take a half an Ambien. It didn't help; I just lie there until my alarm went off at 6:00am and got up and took my shower. I feel like someone spent all day punching me in the face. I just hope I can get some sleep tonight.
Oh, and I think I've got a kidney infection or something. I made an appointment later this week to talk with my doctor about my blood pressure, but I think I'm going to ask her for some other tests as long as I'm there. My back has been tender for over a week and it doesn't feel like a pulled muscle; it's more like I feel bruised from the inside out.
So, yeah, that's the state of Ellen right now. Pretty fucked up, but I think after the doctor appointment and I might take some time off here in the near future I'll get back to an even keel.