Eureka!
At last, I have found a plot for my trekreversebang story! Yay! Now, to start writing. Thank heaven I only need 6000 words for this one. Also, huge thanks to Firefly for having the perfect story to riff off of. :D Anybody up for having Spock being burned at the stake for being a witch? Heheeee!
Lordy, I feel like my words have been blocked for far too long. I haven't even wanted to post in my journal. These past few months have been agonizing; I've felt on the verge of tears for well over a month, probably closer to two, and just totally withdrawn my online presence because I was afraid of bleeding all over the internet psychically and dragging everyone down into my pit with me. I was afraid my condo was going to end up looking like something off that hoarders show on TLC or wherever. Ugh. Fortunately, things started to turn around a couple of weeks ago and I'm slowly getting things back to rights. Today, I was more productive than I've been in the past two months! Cleaned the litterboxes, vacuumed, cleaned the downstairs bathroom, pulled dead plants out of the pots on the balcony, did the dishes, brushed out one of the cats and I'm even contemplating going for a walk later. Plus, I am so grateful to have friends locally who get me out of my cave and remind me that the world out there can be a really wonderful place with cool people in it.
The weather lately has not helped; this spring has been so grim, dark and damp I thought we were never going to see the sun again and the situation with the union and the budget repair bill had me in a massive panic over my financial situation. But we're finally seeing temperatures in the 60s and the budget repair bill is tied up in the courts giving me a little time to figure out exactly how I can get a few more bucks pared out of my budget without feeling overly deprived. I've managed to quell the worst of the catastrophic thinking and that has really helped the turn around in my mood. I think pretty flowers would help even more.
I think, too, it may be time to talk to my doctor about maybe getting a referral to a shrink. Five years ago I went on anti-depressants and after about six months on them went totally off the rails. My doctor at the time suspected I might be Bipolar II, so she sent me to a shrink and I ended up with a diagnosis of Mood Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified. Nontheless, I was put on a medication for folks with Bipolar II. And it did help to a great extent, but it also had side effects. And then after a while, it didn't seem to help the anxiety and the hypomanic states nearly as much as advertised even on the max dosage, so I made a decision to go off them and I've been off of them since March of 2008. Wow, I didn't realize it had been that long. And, honestly, until these past couple of months I didn't really feel like I needed to be back on anything. I've been unmedicated most of my life, managed to hold a job, had friends, been large and in charge, but lately I feel like it's never really been to the extent I feel I'm capable of. And I think that is where the medication can make a difference. So, I think Monday may be a good time to call my (new) doctor and see about getting a new referral and see what happens.
Anyway, life is good at the moment. I just spoke with my BFF in England, which always puts me in a good mood. I think it's time to go shower and make a trip to the greenhouse. :D
Lordy, I feel like my words have been blocked for far too long. I haven't even wanted to post in my journal. These past few months have been agonizing; I've felt on the verge of tears for well over a month, probably closer to two, and just totally withdrawn my online presence because I was afraid of bleeding all over the internet psychically and dragging everyone down into my pit with me. I was afraid my condo was going to end up looking like something off that hoarders show on TLC or wherever. Ugh. Fortunately, things started to turn around a couple of weeks ago and I'm slowly getting things back to rights. Today, I was more productive than I've been in the past two months! Cleaned the litterboxes, vacuumed, cleaned the downstairs bathroom, pulled dead plants out of the pots on the balcony, did the dishes, brushed out one of the cats and I'm even contemplating going for a walk later. Plus, I am so grateful to have friends locally who get me out of my cave and remind me that the world out there can be a really wonderful place with cool people in it.
The weather lately has not helped; this spring has been so grim, dark and damp I thought we were never going to see the sun again and the situation with the union and the budget repair bill had me in a massive panic over my financial situation. But we're finally seeing temperatures in the 60s and the budget repair bill is tied up in the courts giving me a little time to figure out exactly how I can get a few more bucks pared out of my budget without feeling overly deprived. I've managed to quell the worst of the catastrophic thinking and that has really helped the turn around in my mood. I think pretty flowers would help even more.
I think, too, it may be time to talk to my doctor about maybe getting a referral to a shrink. Five years ago I went on anti-depressants and after about six months on them went totally off the rails. My doctor at the time suspected I might be Bipolar II, so she sent me to a shrink and I ended up with a diagnosis of Mood Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified. Nontheless, I was put on a medication for folks with Bipolar II. And it did help to a great extent, but it also had side effects. And then after a while, it didn't seem to help the anxiety and the hypomanic states nearly as much as advertised even on the max dosage, so I made a decision to go off them and I've been off of them since March of 2008. Wow, I didn't realize it had been that long. And, honestly, until these past couple of months I didn't really feel like I needed to be back on anything. I've been unmedicated most of my life, managed to hold a job, had friends, been large and in charge, but lately I feel like it's never really been to the extent I feel I'm capable of. And I think that is where the medication can make a difference. So, I think Monday may be a good time to call my (new) doctor and see about getting a new referral and see what happens.
Anyway, life is good at the moment. I just spoke with my BFF in England, which always puts me in a good mood. I think it's time to go shower and make a trip to the greenhouse. :D