Being a better mother
Today has been one hell of a long day to sum up a long weekend. My step-mother, Joanne, was here for 2 nights and my baby shower was yesterday at my house. Add to that the fact that I'm still not feeling well and the arthritis in my chest is almost crippling at times and I'm not a happy camper. The real pisser is that my chest was feeling so much better until we went down to my mom's smoky house for Thanksgiving. I've decided that I'm beyond being nice about their smoking when we come down. They show so little consideration for us but expect us to bend over backwards for them and I've had it. Evan gets a stern "NO!" from my step-dad for slamming a drawer too hard, for touching the TV screen, for annoying their dog..meanwhile Evan gets to breathe in a healthy dose of 2nd hand smoke all day. FUCK THAT. I'm done.
Big surprise as well: My mother missed the baby shower. Yes, the baby shower of her only daughter. She started complaining about the shower almost immediately because it was Thanksgiving weekend. Didn't offer to help my MIL & SIL with arrangements or expenses and bitched about the 2 hour drive so much that she decided to bring a friend to share the driving with. Fine. So, when Joanne was considering where to stay, I offered up our house. She thoughtfully asked about my mother and I told her that she was coming up & going home same day, as she had told me she was going to do for months. Well, wouldn't you know, at the Thanksgiving table, my mother asks me if she can stay over Sunday night. Her friend couldn't come, again, because we inconsiderately planned it for Thanksgiving weekend. I told her, sorry that Joanne was staying. She then wanted me to ask Joanne to stay somewhere else- TWO days before her trip. Keep in mind too that Joanne is coming from Maine, a 5 hour trip. I refused to impose a different plan on Joanne and my mom was noticably irritated.
When I saw that first flake of snow fall on Sunday morning, I predicted my mother's cancellation. Sure enough, she called with tales of treacherous roadways, snow turning into ice and blahblahblah. I said fine and came upstairs to check the NJ weather on the internet: Flurried in the AM, turning to rain and temps in the high 40s. I wasn't going to argue with her but I did tell her that my friend from NJ came up (which she didn't but I couldn't resist). She didn't even call today to see how it went. I called her and tried to get her to come up some other weekend instead. Then after telling me 5 minutes ago that she got the majority of her Christmas shopping done today, she tells me she probably won't be able to come "all the way up" because she still has "so much to do to get ready for Christmas". So, instead of going through clothes for my daughter with my mother, I did it with Joanne. Her loss as far as I'm concerned. It still kind of hurts me and I don't know why...I should expect this by now. Between her behavior the day Evan was born (late to the hospital because they stopped for breakfast first, stayed for 2 hours, left before traffic started and didn't come back up to see us for weeks) and now this I can only pledge to do better with my own children. Thankfully I have a wonderful MIL and step-mom to make up for it.
All of this stress/tiredness/arthritis has me in one hell of a mood. TJ has been gone at work & karate for 12 hours now and Evan has been grating on my nerves. He did allow me to take a short nap, but has been acting like a wild man all day. I finally just put him to bed, with no books (the ultimate punishment in our house, you'd think I had beat him he cried so much) and he was asleep in 5 minutes. I guess we're both tired and getting on each other's nerves. Tomorrow's a new day. A fresh start.
Big surprise as well: My mother missed the baby shower. Yes, the baby shower of her only daughter. She started complaining about the shower almost immediately because it was Thanksgiving weekend. Didn't offer to help my MIL & SIL with arrangements or expenses and bitched about the 2 hour drive so much that she decided to bring a friend to share the driving with. Fine. So, when Joanne was considering where to stay, I offered up our house. She thoughtfully asked about my mother and I told her that she was coming up & going home same day, as she had told me she was going to do for months. Well, wouldn't you know, at the Thanksgiving table, my mother asks me if she can stay over Sunday night. Her friend couldn't come, again, because we inconsiderately planned it for Thanksgiving weekend. I told her, sorry that Joanne was staying. She then wanted me to ask Joanne to stay somewhere else- TWO days before her trip. Keep in mind too that Joanne is coming from Maine, a 5 hour trip. I refused to impose a different plan on Joanne and my mom was noticably irritated.
When I saw that first flake of snow fall on Sunday morning, I predicted my mother's cancellation. Sure enough, she called with tales of treacherous roadways, snow turning into ice and blahblahblah. I said fine and came upstairs to check the NJ weather on the internet: Flurried in the AM, turning to rain and temps in the high 40s. I wasn't going to argue with her but I did tell her that my friend from NJ came up (which she didn't but I couldn't resist). She didn't even call today to see how it went. I called her and tried to get her to come up some other weekend instead. Then after telling me 5 minutes ago that she got the majority of her Christmas shopping done today, she tells me she probably won't be able to come "all the way up" because she still has "so much to do to get ready for Christmas". So, instead of going through clothes for my daughter with my mother, I did it with Joanne. Her loss as far as I'm concerned. It still kind of hurts me and I don't know why...I should expect this by now. Between her behavior the day Evan was born (late to the hospital because they stopped for breakfast first, stayed for 2 hours, left before traffic started and didn't come back up to see us for weeks) and now this I can only pledge to do better with my own children. Thankfully I have a wonderful MIL and step-mom to make up for it.
All of this stress/tiredness/arthritis has me in one hell of a mood. TJ has been gone at work & karate for 12 hours now and Evan has been grating on my nerves. He did allow me to take a short nap, but has been acting like a wild man all day. I finally just put him to bed, with no books (the ultimate punishment in our house, you'd think I had beat him he cried so much) and he was asleep in 5 minutes. I guess we're both tired and getting on each other's nerves. Tomorrow's a new day. A fresh start.