(no subject)
Follow-up to the last post.
There are many things that could be causing anxiety. I'm not sure what it is really.
Part of it is definitely the band gag, because the first show of any given day is always the hardest and the feeling of panic fades as the day draws to a close and I know I won't have to do it any more.
Other than that, it could be just stress or some sort of hormonal imbalance (might actually make sense considering the nature of the medical problems I was having last year, sorry if that's TMI).
Anyway, I'll go get a regular checkup at some point and will hopefully get some advice.
In the meantime, I am just plowing straight through it.
I did some research online, and the advice I saw most was to not avoid situations that cause panic. Avoiding panic-inducing situations encourages that reaction to continue. So if I feel like I might pass out or whatever, I choose to ignore it.
There are some breathing exercises you can do...I tried them and am not sure if they worked.
It's hard to tell because once you get into a panic attack, it takes at least 3 minutes for the adrenaline to leave your system so it's not easy to tell which of your coping methods actually worked.
A few days ago I found something that did seem to work pretty well...
I thought about the horses in the show. Horses are emotional, panicky animals. I thought about how gentle the trainer is with them, and how patient. And I thought about a particular horse who has been nervous and unrideable from day one, yet is still here and still plays a part in the show. Thinking of how patient people are with the horses made me think that people might be just as patient with me. It also allowed me to visualize my panicky thoughts as something that's not a part of myself...an external thing, like the horse that the trainer is leading around and trying to calm.
I don't know if any of this will help. Things have gotten somewhat better since the last post, but I'm in Philly in a month and my family and friends are there, and I don't want any kind of episode to interfere with that.
There are many things that could be causing anxiety. I'm not sure what it is really.
Part of it is definitely the band gag, because the first show of any given day is always the hardest and the feeling of panic fades as the day draws to a close and I know I won't have to do it any more.
Other than that, it could be just stress or some sort of hormonal imbalance (might actually make sense considering the nature of the medical problems I was having last year, sorry if that's TMI).
Anyway, I'll go get a regular checkup at some point and will hopefully get some advice.
In the meantime, I am just plowing straight through it.
I did some research online, and the advice I saw most was to not avoid situations that cause panic. Avoiding panic-inducing situations encourages that reaction to continue. So if I feel like I might pass out or whatever, I choose to ignore it.
There are some breathing exercises you can do...I tried them and am not sure if they worked.
It's hard to tell because once you get into a panic attack, it takes at least 3 minutes for the adrenaline to leave your system so it's not easy to tell which of your coping methods actually worked.
A few days ago I found something that did seem to work pretty well...
I thought about the horses in the show. Horses are emotional, panicky animals. I thought about how gentle the trainer is with them, and how patient. And I thought about a particular horse who has been nervous and unrideable from day one, yet is still here and still plays a part in the show. Thinking of how patient people are with the horses made me think that people might be just as patient with me. It also allowed me to visualize my panicky thoughts as something that's not a part of myself...an external thing, like the horse that the trainer is leading around and trying to calm.
I don't know if any of this will help. Things have gotten somewhat better since the last post, but I'm in Philly in a month and my family and friends are there, and I don't want any kind of episode to interfere with that.