Sometimes if you can put your finger on why it is they make you uncomfortable, you can explain that to someone else. There's a guy here, friend of a friend, who made me kind of uneasy when he first started hanging around, but I ignored it for a long time. Then I found out what it was--he'd worked at the same place as my younger sister until being fired, and had stalked her constantly while he was there. He doesn't know yet that I know about this, but a lot of my friends do now, and now they understand why they had a feeling of uneasiness around him--he's a creepy bastard. Your other friend might feel like something's not right but be in the situation we all were in, where no one wanted to say anything to anyone else because this person was a friend of a good friend of ours, and we didn't want to hurt any feelings. But someone's welfare is a lot more important than some hurt feelings. I wouldn't necessarily tell your friend they're being manipulated, as such, but explain to them about your uneasiness, especially if you can put a name
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problem is, Im not so good with words and all that, explaining what i mean and all, unless im all blunt like here or whatever. couple times in the past got lucky and had someone who played mediator, but cant expect that to always happen.
and i dunno, its really hard to tell. the first person from my post, far as i can see they LIKE the second person, get defensive of 'em, and all that. like i said to the last comment, can think of a great example from Bleach of somethin kinda similar, cept for it being full of spoilers and all.
I understand the problem with words. I've pretty much just come straight out to the people who I've explained my uneasiness to, just saying "He stalked my sister. The bastard will pay." But then, my friends know that I do that kind of thing anyway. Still, I haven't said anything to the friend who brought the creepy bastard among us, because I'm too indelicate to do it.
Yeah, I haven't seen much from Bleach myself. Sometimes it's hard to understand why people choose the company they choose. Are the things the second person doing harmful to your friend?
so far as i know, nothing overtly harmful. just the first person's gotten sudden all attached to or defensive of the second lately. which kinda weirded me out even before someone else pointed it out to me, 'cuz it seemed a little OOC for 'em. so i guess nothin harmful like that, but doesnt seem like a good or healthy thing to me, or maybe it could get emotionally bad for them, i dunno.
That doesn't sound good for them at all. Have many of your other mutual friends noticed it? If they're acting weird to everyone, that's not a good thing.
dunno if they notice. most mutual friends know both the two people better than theyd know me. and they arent always easy to contact, tend to be forgetful about email or wandering away from the computer during an IM. or just busy and hard to talk much with. and except for maybe two people, for all i know theres a chance theyre all affected by the second person to an extent, or whoevers not is either too polite or too ignored. I don't have any idea.
I can't say I envy your position then... I really don't have any more advice, but hopefully there's someone here who's been in a situation more similar to this than mine was (everyone involved is someone I know IRL). I really hope you find a way to help them though. It's not right to be in either of your situations.
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and i dunno, its really hard to tell. the first person from my post, far as i can see they LIKE the second person, get defensive of 'em, and all that. like i said to the last comment, can think of a great example from Bleach of somethin kinda similar, cept for it being full of spoilers and all.
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Yeah, I haven't seen much from Bleach myself. Sometimes it's hard to understand why people choose the company they choose. Are the things the second person doing harmful to your friend?
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