Comments | sages_of_chaos: Quite OOC

feralshadows in sages_of_chaos

Quite OOC

Oct 04, 2005 08:46

Hey, Sages. [Oh my god, the mun lives! ...Hi, I'm sorry, I've been really caught-up busy with things. ^^; Hope to come back around here soon..]

What are you supposed to do when someone you know is being rather manipulative, but you don't think they realize it, or mean harm by it?

( Exposition... )

Comments 12

dirtisright October 4 2005, 16:36:06 UTC

((I wouldn't do it. Just tell him that it's not fair to you to make you do that and that he should back off. Offer dinner instead. If he insists on the kiss, sock him and leave him alone.

That's what I'd do. Because I tend to be vehement about my personal space rights. You don't have to.))

feralshadows October 4 2005, 16:40:44 UTC

((Oh, I probably should have made it more clear. I definitely don't plan on kissing him...

I'm more just trying to figure out how I should react to him even suggesting it. It's got me more than a little irked.

Definitely agree on the personal space rights thing, though. Thank you. *nods*))

dirtisright October 4 2005, 16:42:09 UTC

Just tell him that it's totally unacceptable- nicely, if you feel like it, or just 'back the heck off, you're faar over the line' if you don't.

feralshadows October 4 2005, 16:53:18 UTC

Alright. That sounds like a pretty good plan. Especially if he isn't realizing he's being... blarrgh... by acting this way, maybe it'll wake him up a bit. I'll try for the nice approach at first, methinks.

Thank you. =)

Thread 5

(The comment has been removed)

feralshadows October 4 2005, 17:47:28 UTC

((Good idea. And so incredibly true.. I hadn't though about putting it like that, and I think that it is something he ought to know. Thank you for the input. =3))

skies_above October 4 2005, 18:10:04 UTC

I don't think you're over-reacting. The person in question sounds to have manipulation issues, and no concept of personal space.

Frankly, you should probably have dropped him as a 'friend' when he started grabbing your hand, intimating at a relationship beyond friendship after you said 'Let's not.'

Don't let him guilt-trip you into doing things you don't want. The mere fact that he's trying?

He's not the 'nice guy' you say he is. Even if he doesn't realize it, he's still doing it. And from what you're saying, has been for a long time.

The most you should do for him? Tll him that you aren't appreciative of the guilt-trips, and that you don't feel comfortable around him - then leave him alone, block him from im's, etc.

iczer6 October 4 2005, 19:38:29 UTC

Tll him that you aren't appreciative of the guilt-trips, and that you don't feel comfortable around him - then leave him alone, block him from im's, etc

I have to agree. As harsh as it sounds I can't help but think that as long as you're willing to put up with him he'll believe he has a chance with you. Cutting him off may seem harsh, but it may be the only way to get through to him.

typeo_support October 4 2005, 19:36:14 UTC

((I think I'll speak for the minority of male muns here and actually admit, yeah, he's trying to manipulate you into dating him, one grinding step at a time. I've seen this kind of thing before--hells, I can think of how I'd do it myself, if I were so inclined, but I like being able to look myself in the mirror with a clear conscience. Whether he's doing it on purpose, or if this is just the way that's always worked for him and he never realized it was outright manipulation, that I couldn't say for sure. Either way, anything you might have owed him, he can kiss goodbye, and that should really be the best sort of "kiss" he gets out of you. If he's going to deliberately mess around with your life and screw up your schedule to try to get some, then he can bloody well live with it when, just the once, you blew him off ( ... )

goddessguided October 4 2005, 20:32:13 UTC

((I'd personally like to second the 'you had a right to yell at him'. I'm a very non confrentational person and generally will do what I can to aviod situations (a character flaw, I'm sure) so I can relate to wanting to be on good terms with people. But this person is negitively effecting your life. You have a choice about who you surround yourself with, and who you let into your life. If someone is a negitive influence and you know it, that it is also you right, choice, and duty to change it if possible. You have the final straw here, and the support of any friend who knows the history. Take the strength, use it, and make something good.

At least, that's my take. Best of luck to you.))

twitchnosewitch October 4 2005, 19:52:59 UTC

Do you want a nice way to deal with him, or an effective but not very nice way?