hey ho
so im more or less (or should it be less or more?) settled into the summer routine, I just finished teaching 8 days of Level 1 Sailing Instructor courses in New Bedford and Hingham. The two classes, back to back, had a total of 31 students and took about 80 hours to complete. Needless to say I'm pretty well exhausted, and though I know the classes appreciated my efforts and all gave me really good evaluations, I still sort of feel like the second group, in Hingham, didnt really get my best for all 4 days.
Over the last few years I've gone back and forth about whether sailing is an important part of my life or not, or rather whether I wanted it to continue to be an important part of my life, specifically whether I wanted to continue working in the field. One of the primary reasons I got back into Music was because I wasn't really feeling like sailing was doing it for me.
Three things have happened though: first, I have discovered (or, re-discovered?) that I actually like sailing; second, music, while very fulfilling, is also very tiring, especialy doing all the promotion and booking I do for both Cat & Mouse Records and Acoustic Coffee; and third, for better or worse, I'm really not well qualified to do anything else. :) In sailing, particularly running sailing programs, I have an outstanding resume, I could confidently say without fear of immodesty that I doubt more than about 50 people in the entire country have a better resume than mine when it comes to running programs. I have no fear that as long as I'm willing to keep doing it, I will always be able to find a job somewhere.
Another thing that's happened is that I think I've come out of a bit of a phase in my life when I was actively looking for a real, meaningful relationship with someone. I have givn it a shot in so many ways, and actually have had "little r" relationships with a surprising amount of people over the last 3-4 years, more than I even thought possible when I was a youngun and couldn't get a date to save my life. Perhaps I was looking for that elusive "it" that would make me happy. And perhaps what I've finally at long last discovered is that nothing external CAN "make" anyone happy, you have to find it in you, by being comfortable with yourself, what you do, who you are.
Sappy, cliche, heard it a million times, bought the t shirt, all of the above. But it's funny the difference between simply hearing the words and discovering the truth of the words. It's something everyone has to do on their own, no one can help them do it.
ANyway long story short I'm ok with being alone, finally, and to be honest were I to NOT be "alone" in the future it would have to be something incredibly spectacular to make me not want to be alone. For me, for now, it's a case of: if I can't have an amazing relationship with an amazing person, I would just simply rather be alone.
...for now. :)
Over the last few years I've gone back and forth about whether sailing is an important part of my life or not, or rather whether I wanted it to continue to be an important part of my life, specifically whether I wanted to continue working in the field. One of the primary reasons I got back into Music was because I wasn't really feeling like sailing was doing it for me.
Three things have happened though: first, I have discovered (or, re-discovered?) that I actually like sailing; second, music, while very fulfilling, is also very tiring, especialy doing all the promotion and booking I do for both Cat & Mouse Records and Acoustic Coffee; and third, for better or worse, I'm really not well qualified to do anything else. :) In sailing, particularly running sailing programs, I have an outstanding resume, I could confidently say without fear of immodesty that I doubt more than about 50 people in the entire country have a better resume than mine when it comes to running programs. I have no fear that as long as I'm willing to keep doing it, I will always be able to find a job somewhere.
Another thing that's happened is that I think I've come out of a bit of a phase in my life when I was actively looking for a real, meaningful relationship with someone. I have givn it a shot in so many ways, and actually have had "little r" relationships with a surprising amount of people over the last 3-4 years, more than I even thought possible when I was a youngun and couldn't get a date to save my life. Perhaps I was looking for that elusive "it" that would make me happy. And perhaps what I've finally at long last discovered is that nothing external CAN "make" anyone happy, you have to find it in you, by being comfortable with yourself, what you do, who you are.
Sappy, cliche, heard it a million times, bought the t shirt, all of the above. But it's funny the difference between simply hearing the words and discovering the truth of the words. It's something everyone has to do on their own, no one can help them do it.
ANyway long story short I'm ok with being alone, finally, and to be honest were I to NOT be "alone" in the future it would have to be something incredibly spectacular to make me not want to be alone. For me, for now, it's a case of: if I can't have an amazing relationship with an amazing person, I would just simply rather be alone.
...for now. :)