I Only Want What I Can't Have
You daydream too much to be normal. You search the deepest depths of your imagination for the tiniest prick of relief.Colors too bright and beautiful to exist come to your mind in short bursts. They swirl around dark emotions threatening to take over. You dream and hope that you can just wish the darkness away. And you hope that the hoping works. Sometimes, your world of magic is enough to bring you back to life. The green fields of prosperity spread to the distant horizon lined with faith. But sometimes the sun of hope sets and a moon of sorrow rises, highlighting your deepest fears and everything wrong. You walk the lonely roads in this time of down and all you see is grey and black. You sit on dead leaves, crushing them to nothing, and stare at the starless sky of your imaginary world. And then you realize that you don't even control the space of your own mind, let alone your own life. You cry ghost tears that you refuse to let the outside world see, because if it sees, then you make them more real. This you believe, because you want to believe that the outside world is simply an out of control nightmare. You want to believe that you will wake up from this out of control nightmare, and see a better world with open eyes. But for now, you try to be content with what you see behind closed lids.