This is public on purpose, I don't care anymore.
"The person you love may not love you... but if you love him, you'll let him love her..." - Sharika Holms, Labelle Class of 2005
I went and picked up my year book today. I almost broke down. Crystal went with me... Irony is cruel. ""He plays very well," Charlie Harris said about his fellow band mate, Greg Swann. Greg plays the Piccolo for LHS, he also plays for the Edison band in Ft. Myers and the Southwest Florida Youth Band. As if this is not overwhelming enough, he is also a member of a five piece flute quire as well." - LHS 2005 Year book. Caption for pictures of Side by side, Charlie Harris and Greg Swann
I've passed him twice today in my car. On the way to class, and coming into LaBelle home from class. I passed him yesterday on the way to work. I can't stay away from everything that reminds me of him... I feel destroyed and hopeless again. I need to see him, speak to him. I'd beg him to hold me again...I hate myself for being willing to do anything to see him again. He didn't even notice my car any of the times I noticed his. I look for him everywhere I go every minute of everyday. I know a Jetta from less then a mile away. I don't know what to do right now. I'm going to go insane and nothing helps. I want someone to help! I need someone to do something cause I've tried everything and nothing works. But no one CAN do anything. There is nothing anyone can do. There is nothing that will make this go away or better or stop hurting. OR make me forget. I either want to be with you again, or forget I ever was. "Better to have loved and lost" is not correct. Should I call him? Maybe it's time? Maybe there is a reason he's been on my mind so much lately. Mayb he's thinking about me too? I don't care what I sound like to anyone anymore. I don't think I"m going to be able to pretend anymore...Make it through the next few days one way or another... See if it will get better... but it's only gotten worse the past few days... I'm begging but to no one... no one can help. I don't know what to do other then to talk about how much pain I'm in cause it's consuming me more everyday... Please make it all ok... Please bring him back in my life some how... make us ok... As freinds or anything... I'm alone... I want to stop being concious. I have no way out... he's my only way out and he wont help me anymore... I still care and can't make myself not. I thought thinking about all the things he said and did to me would make me hate him, but all it does is hurt that I still love him so much and still did and said those things... I'm desperate Lord, please intervine in someway. Bring back my friend... the person I'm still in love with... or make me forget any love for him... I can't run anymore... I just can't... there's no where left to go... I don't want to run anymore... I want to speak with him... soon...
I went and picked up my year book today. I almost broke down. Crystal went with me... Irony is cruel. ""He plays very well," Charlie Harris said about his fellow band mate, Greg Swann. Greg plays the Piccolo for LHS, he also plays for the Edison band in Ft. Myers and the Southwest Florida Youth Band. As if this is not overwhelming enough, he is also a member of a five piece flute quire as well." - LHS 2005 Year book. Caption for pictures of Side by side, Charlie Harris and Greg Swann
I've passed him twice today in my car. On the way to class, and coming into LaBelle home from class. I passed him yesterday on the way to work. I can't stay away from everything that reminds me of him... I feel destroyed and hopeless again. I need to see him, speak to him. I'd beg him to hold me again...I hate myself for being willing to do anything to see him again. He didn't even notice my car any of the times I noticed his. I look for him everywhere I go every minute of everyday. I know a Jetta from less then a mile away. I don't know what to do right now. I'm going to go insane and nothing helps. I want someone to help! I need someone to do something cause I've tried everything and nothing works. But no one CAN do anything. There is nothing anyone can do. There is nothing that will make this go away or better or stop hurting. OR make me forget. I either want to be with you again, or forget I ever was. "Better to have loved and lost" is not correct. Should I call him? Maybe it's time? Maybe there is a reason he's been on my mind so much lately. Mayb he's thinking about me too? I don't care what I sound like to anyone anymore. I don't think I"m going to be able to pretend anymore...Make it through the next few days one way or another... See if it will get better... but it's only gotten worse the past few days... I'm begging but to no one... no one can help. I don't know what to do other then to talk about how much pain I'm in cause it's consuming me more everyday... Please make it all ok... Please bring him back in my life some how... make us ok... As freinds or anything... I'm alone... I want to stop being concious. I have no way out... he's my only way out and he wont help me anymore... I still care and can't make myself not. I thought thinking about all the things he said and did to me would make me hate him, but all it does is hurt that I still love him so much and still did and said those things... I'm desperate Lord, please intervine in someway. Bring back my friend... the person I'm still in love with... or make me forget any love for him... I can't run anymore... I just can't... there's no where left to go... I don't want to run anymore... I want to speak with him... soon...