Dressed To Impress

[sadpenguin]

We're both dressed to impress
different people
What does your therapist say
about me?
Is she the same therapist
in my daydreams?
i'm gross
recently
i can't fucking
stop
i try so hard
but not hard enough
"feelings change
all the time
you should know
this"
Then i wake up
i'm dressed to impress
my bed
because fuck
it
i don't have tunnel vision
because i live in tunneled vision
and the only explanation
that i can live with
is from Decartes
i don't know why
a part of me is stuck
in high school
i will always be twenty
one
two
five
you can see
where i am going
with this
i'm fragments
to hold
i'm devilish
and bold
im forgotten
and mold
i'm never there
unless i'm there
i want to be there
but not here
my life just stopped
but i lie to myself
and say that it's paused
i keep reminding myself
about fluidity
and minds
open
i'm not obsessed
for the most part
i'm still dressed to impress
but for a lost cause
a single heart
i'm a shot in the dark
and it's shallow
it is pure
shallowness
it is
obsession
i'm a creep
i'm a weirdo
blah blah
blah
i'm gross
i'm disgusting
yadda yadda
yadda
i'm a child
and so i don't know what i am
talking about
i'm situated
next to emptiness
i'm fixated
on a ghost
i'm blanking
in the disconnect
that is us
and the world
and mostly us
i wish i could love
the world
the world
doesn't love
us
we are a group
the two of us
we are a couple
the group of us
i'm growing so old
so fast
i've lost my looks
so there is no hope
no matter what happens
i'm fragments
to be held
i am fragile
so i need to be lied to
i'm closed
so i need to stay locked
i'm anchored
so i need to stay put
what is my reality
compared to reality?
it is so shallow
and so nothing
it is really
truly nothing
it isn't love
because it is animalistic
it isn't a trophy
because it could be so simplistic
it isn't a found object
because it isn't abstract
it is simple
easy
lust
to me
to only me
selfishly
i'm dressed to impress
the wrong people
i'm dressed to impress
stupid ideas
i'm dressed to impress
the most fucked up
selfish
awful
twisted
unrelenting
immoral
unsettling
disturbing
perverted
narrow
fucked
stars in the sky
because i give up
i am the goodbye
i'm dressed to impress
and i need a goodbye