Chapter 5
Ripp found them both a seat, and began to drum his hands on the table while keeping a watchful eye out for his friends. In the meantime, the rhythm played upon the surface reminded him of the coming festival, which was now only a few days away.
“Oh hey,” he remarked, beginning to smile, “You looking forward to this show?”
“Oh yeah!” Tank grinned, before it started to slip, “Gonna need the break more than ever.”
“You going with anyone?”
Tank merely shrugged in reply. It seemed the idea hadn’t even occurred to him.
Ripp knowingly shook his head, still smiling. “You can come with us if you like,” he offered.
“Who’s us?” Tank asked hesitantly, inwardly hoping it wasn’t Ripp’s usual circle, although this time for a different reason.
“You know,” came the reply, “Ophelia and Johnny?”
His misgivings confirmed, Tank gave an awkward smile.
“Uh, I dunno,” he hedged, beginning to shift in his seat.
“Why?” Ripp asked, cocking his head, “They’re nice guys…”
“Yeah, so I gather,” Tank replied. Without the face paint, Ripp noticed a distinct reddening of his cheeks, and a playful grin spread across his face. Looking about him, and grateful that the couple in question was nowhere in sight, Ripp’s eyes sparkled as he spoke.
“Oh yeah?” he teased, giving a little chuckle.
“Look, um…” Tank started awkwardly, but Ripp stopped him as his hand rested on his shoulder.
“Oh, it’s okay,” he said, the mood dropping, “If it’s any consolation, I…”
He suddenly felt the ability to speak slip from his grasp. It got no better when the couple approached, although the sullen manner of their greeting hinted that all was not well between them.
“Hey guys,” Ripp greeted, smiling only a little on noticing their faces, “Whassup?”
Tank followed his gaze, looking concerned himself as they both rose from their seats.
Ophelia waved a dismissive hand as she spoke, her voice wavering a little. “Not just now,” she told him, glancing at Tank.
“It’s okay,” Ripp soothed, walking back to his brother and draping an arm round his shoulder, “I pulled him from the dark side,” he finished with a smile.
Tank chuckled a little at the reference, before allowing him to bring them closer to Ripp’s friends.
“Really?” she checked, “How’d you manage that?”
“Long story,” Tank explained, his newly unearthed heart already experiencing the first signs of compassion that he’d usually tried to bury. What did he do first, offer the hand of peace or ask if everything was alright? Pain was carved on the girl’s face, while the green youth seemed as though he’d been crying, with signs of more to come.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Not now, please,” Johnny uttered, his head dropping as he felt a fresh wave of tears build inside.
Both brothers were beginning to connect the dots, but Ripp in particular knew better than to jump to conclusions. Tank on the other hand, with bitter experience on his side, lay a hand on his shoulder, while Ripp pulled her away to better explain the situation with his brother.
“I’m sorry Johnny,” he said simply, “I deserve every one of those bruises you gave me.”
Johnny looked back up at him, hastily drying his tears as, for the first time, he realised that Tank wasn’t wearing anything to conceal them.
“I didn’t enjoy giving them, you know,” he replied softly, taking a moment to examine them. A green finger glided delicately along the fading discolouration around his eye. “You were gonna try again, too.”
“I know,” he accepted, “I admire you for walking away like that, you could’ve done worse than this.”
“I don’t fight unless I have to,” he explained, “I sure as hell don’t kick people when they’re down.”
Tank’s head lowered as he felt the guilt begin to consume his being. Ripp’s words only the day before dropped like rocks into his mind.
“He’s a nice guy, give him a chance…”
He was certainly showing that now, and it was just two days ago he had tried to pulverise him. For what? His colour? It all now sounded so petty.
“I’ve been such a jerk,” he moaned to himself, his own tears now trickling down his cheeks, “I’m sorry…”
Johnny eyed him for a moment, before in one swift movement he gathered Tank’s muscular form into his arms.
From their spot only yards away, Ripp was grinning from ear to ear as he frantically foraged in his pockets for his mobile phone. On happily producing it he held it out as he worked the camera, the snapshot sound signalling the capture of a new beginning.
This was starting to become too much of a habit, Buzz mused as he paused for a spell. Ever since the house had emptied of all but its oldest resident, he had been frantically trying to expel the fury he felt at Ripp’s parting words, although that wasn’t the only feeling he needed to work from his system. Unable to admit defeat, even to his own children, the guilt at knowing that, deep down, he was right had been swallowed back inside him. Once deemed safe he had removed the cap on the bottle, allowing it to spill over into the aggression he had unleashed on the sack before him.
Now resting his limbs, but still not feeling much better for his efforts, his mind continued to race as he cradled his head in his hand. How did this all start, anyway? Why was he like this? No, why was his father the way he was, and why the need to teach him the lessons he did? How was it a fifteen year old boy knew more about emotion and what it could do, than someone of his age? Down to his mother, of course… that was why he loved her. He sought affection that he felt he’d never experienced yet, instead of embracing it when it came, he turned it away. It felt wrong. Now, the son he’d tried himself to teach all he knew was turning away from that, the way Ripp had done from the start. After the initial disappointment he’d felt he was now becoming grateful, even relieved, for that. The cycle needed to be broken, he knew that. It was too late for him, but if his children could resist, at least all was not lost.
What of him, however? Lyla was indeed the sensible one, he mused, although at the time Ripp’s words had pierced his armour like a bullet, cutting into his heart. He knew what was happening, he could see it; little by little he was pushing his family away, yet he felt powerless to stop it. Human nature needs a scapegoat, and for Buzz there was only one he could direct his anger at as he felt it erupt from his body like a volcano.
“DAMN YOU FATHER!!”
“So how come you broke up?” Ripp quizzed them, frowning at their reluctance to answer.
“Maybe they just don’t trust me enough yet,” Tank offered apologetically, “Wouldn’t blame them after everything…”
“No hard feelings Tank,” she told him, “But it’s a personal thing…” So saying, she eyed Ripp with a knowing glance before once more looking back at the table.
At first Ripp frowned. He then looked at Johnny, feeling his heart begin to race as he started to make a connection. Nervously licking his lips he then rose from his seat, moving across to Johnny’s side and slapping his shoulder as he crouched down to his height.
“We need to talk,” he said simply, moving away in a hinting manner.
“Yeah,” Johnny agreed in a hushed voice as he stood up, “We sure do.”
Tank watched them go before looking back to Ophelia, still wearing an extremely puzzled expression.
“Put it this way,” she told him, “You’d need a very open mind to be able to handle it.”
All Tank could do in reply was scratch his head.
“I’m more confused than ever,” he admitted.
“When did this happen?”
“Just before catching the bus,” Johnny replied.
“That’s when you found out, right?” he checked.
Johnny nodded in reply.
“How come you only thought about it this morning?”
“I dunno,” he confessed, “My parents brought it up again last night… just started wondering where it was all coming from…”
“Brought up again?” Ripp echoed, “So they’ve mentioned this before?”
“Yeah,” Johnny grumbled, “And to make matters worse, first thing Philly did when she saw me was ask outright - ‘something I should’ve asked a while back’.”
“That’s what she said?”
“Yeah,” the half-alien bit, his head lowered, “Kinda sucks when you’re the last to know what’s going on inside your own head.”
“That’s usually the way it works, I’m afraid.”
Johnny looked up at him, frowning in bewilderment.
“It took someone else to point out to Tank what he was doing to himself,” Ripp pointed out, “It’s always easier to see from the outside.”
“You’ve known since you were ten!”
“Only ‘cause someone else explained!” Ripp reminded him, “If the principal hadn’t been so understanding, I may still be wondering about myself.”
Johnny’s head dipped down into his chest as he nursed his brow.
“Look,” Ripp offered, “This is the hardest part, honest. It does get better.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Johnny groaned in reply, “Right now, I just feel as though the past seventeen years have been wasted…”
“Come here,” Ripp offered.
Ripp’s eyes closed as he held him near, momentarily fanning the flames rising inside, as what he’d once perceived to be a mere dream was inching its way closer to reality. Despite that however, he needed to remind himself to regain enough control of his feelings to not hint in any way at their content.
“Look, I can show you that forum I joined later,” he offered as they broke away, “It helped me, I’m sure it can help you too.”
“Sure,” Johnny nodded, “That’d be great.”
Ripp smiled sadly before speaking again.
“Just don’t abuse it like I did,” he added in a lowered tone, “Wait until it feels right…”
Johnny eyed him knowingly, tapping his arm reassuringly.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied softly, “I only have to see what it’s done to you…”
The school bell sounded, signalling the start of the day’s lessons. As they made for their classroom, the topic lightened to that of the weekend show and bringing Tank along.
“Okay guys,” the English teacher began, “You all done your homework?”
Ripp and Tank exchanged knowing looks at its mention, as a collective murmur of agreement arose from the class.
“Couldn’t get it done fast enough,” Ripp mumbled as he delved into his bag, retrieving the oddments he’d need for the lesson.
“Glad to hear it,” she said to the group, before starting their session. Tank scoffed at her remark, muttering in reply.
“Will you be saying that once you start reading?!”
Ripp smiled a little at his words, which echoed his own thoughts. The smile faded as the side of his head registered an impact, nothing painful, just an irritant. His eyes began to roam the desk, finding the now all too familiar paper scrunched into a little ball.
“Let me guess,” he whispered to himself as he briefly located the source, deciding against his better judgement to unfold the paper and read its contents. The words, however hateful in their meaning, didn’t trigger any alarm - they were old news as far as he was concerned.
“Yep, knew it,” he muttered, turning angrily to the girl who’d thrown it. This was getting ridiculous.
“Hey Angela!” he called in a loud voice, not hiding his exasperation as it simmered in his blood.
After the initial reaction at her name being called, Angela Pleasant returned her gaze to her paper, arching a disapproving eyebrow in reply as she refused to acknowledge him further.
“What’s with the allegations?!”
Still trying to ignore him, she merely shrugged in reply, a smirk playing upon her face. The class fell silent as the confrontation ensued, with Tank looking just as puzzled as everyone else.
“Hey, you threw this piece of crap at me, again,” he claimed, waving the creased paper at her, “Don’t I get to know why you’re saying all this?”
Her eyes darted about the room, before resting on the irate boy a few tables away. Her reply, when she did speak, took on an ominous air that triggered a rising anxiety in him.
“You really wanna do this now?!”
Ripp frowned at her answer, her words like fingers of ice that touched his heart, sending an internal shiver throughout his being. It was almost as though she suspected something…
Rapping his knuckles nervously on the desk, he replied in a quieter tone.
“Afterwards then,” he told her, “But no more of this, got it?!” So saying, he crumpled the paper back into a ball and returned it to whence it came.
“Alright guys,” the teacher admonished, “Let’s get back to the lesson, huh?”
She seemed to take forever in leaving, deliberately perhaps, he pondered. In the meantime, he fought to stem the quickening of his pulse as a familiar green figure passed him first.
“You okay?” Johnny asked.
“Yeah, just pissed off,” Ripp growled.
“How come?”
“Oh, it’s Angela,” he explained, “She’s been teasing me for months about my orientation…”
“Don’t let it get to you,” he soothed as he laid a hand on his shoulder. Ripp however beckoned him closer, after first checking that he hadn’t missed her.
“There was something she said that’s got me worried,” he admitted in a hushed voice, “It’s as though she knows something, like I slipped up somehow…”
Johnny’s face turned serious as he spoke again.
“Ah, not good,” he sympathised, “So what now, you waiting for her or something?”
Ripp didn’t reply, his attention more focused on laying a blanket over the fire raging once more in his heart. All he could do was nod, his hand eventually lifting to lie on Johnny’s arm as he gently pulled it away.
Johnny’s eyes then spotted movement behind him, and hastily tapped his arm.
“Better go,” he uttered, “Good luck.”
Ripp watched him go, before turning round to find Angela gazing expectantly at him.
“You got the hots for him, ain’tcha?” she jeered, starting to walk away but glancing beckoningly behind her. Taking the hint, Ripp followed as she made for her locker.
“What’s that s’posed to mean?”
“Oh come on,” she told him, “I saw the way you hugged each other earlier.”
Ripp swallowed hard as he felt himself break into a cold sweat.
“Is that so?” he tested coolly.
“Uh-huh,” she confirmed.
“That was this morning,” Ripp challenged, “What’s your excuse for the other times?”
Angela wore a smirk as she unlocked the cabinet door.
“All sorts of things,” she replied, “Surprised Ophelia never saw the way you’ve been looking at her… now ex boyfriend.”
Ripp leant across the adjacent cabinets as he eyed her, his face now deadly serious as he felt himself begin to panic.
“I beg your pardon?!” he checked slowly.
“Just like a jealous boyfriend,” she observed tauntingly as she stashed some items, “The way Dustin would look at me if another guy was hitting on me.”
“Shit,” he muttered to himself. If she’d noticed that far back, who else would have?
“Hey,” Ripp greeted his brother as he approached, not hiding his bewilderment upon spotting his serious expression. “Whassup?”
“‘Ripp’s queer,’” Tank quoted sardonically, his words intensifying the worry already building in his brother.
“What??” he checked, “Who said that?”
“She did, before she went out to see you,” Tank explained.
Ripp scowled in aggravation as he flung open his locker door, now understanding her delay in leaving the classroom.
“Bitch,” he cursed under his breath.
“Is it true?”
Ripp eyed his brother with an apologetic air as he delved into his own locker.
“Yeah,” he muttered, “Just don’t tell Dad, huh?”
Tank snorted in reply, before continuing his answer with words.
“I wouldn’t dare,” he said with disdain, before gazing at his younger brother, “Thought there was something...”
Tank’s voice took hold of Ripp’s jaw, pulling his head firmly in his direction.
“Meaning…?”
“You’re holding a torch for Johnny, ain’tcha?”
Ripp slammed his locker shut in frustration and despair, but Tank hadn’t finished.
“Wasn’t sure at first,” he said, “But the way…”
“Way I was looking at him?!” Ripp finished sourly, leaning against the lockers in resignation.
“No,” Tank frowned, pausing significantly before continuing, “The way you were hugging him this morning… I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was definitely something… I dunno,” he finished with a shrug.
Ripp’s eyes closed as he felt a rising desolation consume his being.
“Great,” he muttered, “So much for being discreet.”
Tears of humiliation and anguish began to well at his eyes as he looked about the corridor, wishing now more than anything that the ground below would crack open and engulf him.
“Oh hey,” he remarked, beginning to smile, “You looking forward to this show?”
“Oh yeah!” Tank grinned, before it started to slip, “Gonna need the break more than ever.”
“You going with anyone?”
Tank merely shrugged in reply. It seemed the idea hadn’t even occurred to him.
Ripp knowingly shook his head, still smiling. “You can come with us if you like,” he offered.
“Who’s us?” Tank asked hesitantly, inwardly hoping it wasn’t Ripp’s usual circle, although this time for a different reason.
“You know,” came the reply, “Ophelia and Johnny?”
His misgivings confirmed, Tank gave an awkward smile.
“Uh, I dunno,” he hedged, beginning to shift in his seat.
“Why?” Ripp asked, cocking his head, “They’re nice guys…”
“Yeah, so I gather,” Tank replied. Without the face paint, Ripp noticed a distinct reddening of his cheeks, and a playful grin spread across his face. Looking about him, and grateful that the couple in question was nowhere in sight, Ripp’s eyes sparkled as he spoke.
“Oh yeah?” he teased, giving a little chuckle.
“Look, um…” Tank started awkwardly, but Ripp stopped him as his hand rested on his shoulder.
“Oh, it’s okay,” he said, the mood dropping, “If it’s any consolation, I…”
He suddenly felt the ability to speak slip from his grasp. It got no better when the couple approached, although the sullen manner of their greeting hinted that all was not well between them.
“Hey guys,” Ripp greeted, smiling only a little on noticing their faces, “Whassup?”
Tank followed his gaze, looking concerned himself as they both rose from their seats.
Ophelia waved a dismissive hand as she spoke, her voice wavering a little. “Not just now,” she told him, glancing at Tank.
“It’s okay,” Ripp soothed, walking back to his brother and draping an arm round his shoulder, “I pulled him from the dark side,” he finished with a smile.
Tank chuckled a little at the reference, before allowing him to bring them closer to Ripp’s friends.
“Really?” she checked, “How’d you manage that?”
“Long story,” Tank explained, his newly unearthed heart already experiencing the first signs of compassion that he’d usually tried to bury. What did he do first, offer the hand of peace or ask if everything was alright? Pain was carved on the girl’s face, while the green youth seemed as though he’d been crying, with signs of more to come.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Not now, please,” Johnny uttered, his head dropping as he felt a fresh wave of tears build inside.
Both brothers were beginning to connect the dots, but Ripp in particular knew better than to jump to conclusions. Tank on the other hand, with bitter experience on his side, lay a hand on his shoulder, while Ripp pulled her away to better explain the situation with his brother.
“I’m sorry Johnny,” he said simply, “I deserve every one of those bruises you gave me.”
Johnny looked back up at him, hastily drying his tears as, for the first time, he realised that Tank wasn’t wearing anything to conceal them.
“I didn’t enjoy giving them, you know,” he replied softly, taking a moment to examine them. A green finger glided delicately along the fading discolouration around his eye. “You were gonna try again, too.”
“I know,” he accepted, “I admire you for walking away like that, you could’ve done worse than this.”
“I don’t fight unless I have to,” he explained, “I sure as hell don’t kick people when they’re down.”
Tank’s head lowered as he felt the guilt begin to consume his being. Ripp’s words only the day before dropped like rocks into his mind.
“He’s a nice guy, give him a chance…”
He was certainly showing that now, and it was just two days ago he had tried to pulverise him. For what? His colour? It all now sounded so petty.
“I’ve been such a jerk,” he moaned to himself, his own tears now trickling down his cheeks, “I’m sorry…”
Johnny eyed him for a moment, before in one swift movement he gathered Tank’s muscular form into his arms.
From their spot only yards away, Ripp was grinning from ear to ear as he frantically foraged in his pockets for his mobile phone. On happily producing it he held it out as he worked the camera, the snapshot sound signalling the capture of a new beginning.
This was starting to become too much of a habit, Buzz mused as he paused for a spell. Ever since the house had emptied of all but its oldest resident, he had been frantically trying to expel the fury he felt at Ripp’s parting words, although that wasn’t the only feeling he needed to work from his system. Unable to admit defeat, even to his own children, the guilt at knowing that, deep down, he was right had been swallowed back inside him. Once deemed safe he had removed the cap on the bottle, allowing it to spill over into the aggression he had unleashed on the sack before him.
Now resting his limbs, but still not feeling much better for his efforts, his mind continued to race as he cradled his head in his hand. How did this all start, anyway? Why was he like this? No, why was his father the way he was, and why the need to teach him the lessons he did? How was it a fifteen year old boy knew more about emotion and what it could do, than someone of his age? Down to his mother, of course… that was why he loved her. He sought affection that he felt he’d never experienced yet, instead of embracing it when it came, he turned it away. It felt wrong. Now, the son he’d tried himself to teach all he knew was turning away from that, the way Ripp had done from the start. After the initial disappointment he’d felt he was now becoming grateful, even relieved, for that. The cycle needed to be broken, he knew that. It was too late for him, but if his children could resist, at least all was not lost.
What of him, however? Lyla was indeed the sensible one, he mused, although at the time Ripp’s words had pierced his armour like a bullet, cutting into his heart. He knew what was happening, he could see it; little by little he was pushing his family away, yet he felt powerless to stop it. Human nature needs a scapegoat, and for Buzz there was only one he could direct his anger at as he felt it erupt from his body like a volcano.
“DAMN YOU FATHER!!”
“So how come you broke up?” Ripp quizzed them, frowning at their reluctance to answer.
“Maybe they just don’t trust me enough yet,” Tank offered apologetically, “Wouldn’t blame them after everything…”
“No hard feelings Tank,” she told him, “But it’s a personal thing…” So saying, she eyed Ripp with a knowing glance before once more looking back at the table.
At first Ripp frowned. He then looked at Johnny, feeling his heart begin to race as he started to make a connection. Nervously licking his lips he then rose from his seat, moving across to Johnny’s side and slapping his shoulder as he crouched down to his height.
“We need to talk,” he said simply, moving away in a hinting manner.
“Yeah,” Johnny agreed in a hushed voice as he stood up, “We sure do.”
Tank watched them go before looking back to Ophelia, still wearing an extremely puzzled expression.
“Put it this way,” she told him, “You’d need a very open mind to be able to handle it.”
All Tank could do in reply was scratch his head.
“I’m more confused than ever,” he admitted.
“When did this happen?”
“Just before catching the bus,” Johnny replied.
“That’s when you found out, right?” he checked.
Johnny nodded in reply.
“How come you only thought about it this morning?”
“I dunno,” he confessed, “My parents brought it up again last night… just started wondering where it was all coming from…”
“Brought up again?” Ripp echoed, “So they’ve mentioned this before?”
“Yeah,” Johnny grumbled, “And to make matters worse, first thing Philly did when she saw me was ask outright - ‘something I should’ve asked a while back’.”
“That’s what she said?”
“Yeah,” the half-alien bit, his head lowered, “Kinda sucks when you’re the last to know what’s going on inside your own head.”
“That’s usually the way it works, I’m afraid.”
Johnny looked up at him, frowning in bewilderment.
“It took someone else to point out to Tank what he was doing to himself,” Ripp pointed out, “It’s always easier to see from the outside.”
“You’ve known since you were ten!”
“Only ‘cause someone else explained!” Ripp reminded him, “If the principal hadn’t been so understanding, I may still be wondering about myself.”
Johnny’s head dipped down into his chest as he nursed his brow.
“Look,” Ripp offered, “This is the hardest part, honest. It does get better.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Johnny groaned in reply, “Right now, I just feel as though the past seventeen years have been wasted…”
“Come here,” Ripp offered.
Ripp’s eyes closed as he held him near, momentarily fanning the flames rising inside, as what he’d once perceived to be a mere dream was inching its way closer to reality. Despite that however, he needed to remind himself to regain enough control of his feelings to not hint in any way at their content.
“Look, I can show you that forum I joined later,” he offered as they broke away, “It helped me, I’m sure it can help you too.”
“Sure,” Johnny nodded, “That’d be great.”
Ripp smiled sadly before speaking again.
“Just don’t abuse it like I did,” he added in a lowered tone, “Wait until it feels right…”
Johnny eyed him knowingly, tapping his arm reassuringly.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied softly, “I only have to see what it’s done to you…”
The school bell sounded, signalling the start of the day’s lessons. As they made for their classroom, the topic lightened to that of the weekend show and bringing Tank along.
“Okay guys,” the English teacher began, “You all done your homework?”
Ripp and Tank exchanged knowing looks at its mention, as a collective murmur of agreement arose from the class.
“Couldn’t get it done fast enough,” Ripp mumbled as he delved into his bag, retrieving the oddments he’d need for the lesson.
“Glad to hear it,” she said to the group, before starting their session. Tank scoffed at her remark, muttering in reply.
“Will you be saying that once you start reading?!”
Ripp smiled a little at his words, which echoed his own thoughts. The smile faded as the side of his head registered an impact, nothing painful, just an irritant. His eyes began to roam the desk, finding the now all too familiar paper scrunched into a little ball.
“Let me guess,” he whispered to himself as he briefly located the source, deciding against his better judgement to unfold the paper and read its contents. The words, however hateful in their meaning, didn’t trigger any alarm - they were old news as far as he was concerned.
“Yep, knew it,” he muttered, turning angrily to the girl who’d thrown it. This was getting ridiculous.
“Hey Angela!” he called in a loud voice, not hiding his exasperation as it simmered in his blood.
After the initial reaction at her name being called, Angela Pleasant returned her gaze to her paper, arching a disapproving eyebrow in reply as she refused to acknowledge him further.
“What’s with the allegations?!”
Still trying to ignore him, she merely shrugged in reply, a smirk playing upon her face. The class fell silent as the confrontation ensued, with Tank looking just as puzzled as everyone else.
“Hey, you threw this piece of crap at me, again,” he claimed, waving the creased paper at her, “Don’t I get to know why you’re saying all this?”
Her eyes darted about the room, before resting on the irate boy a few tables away. Her reply, when she did speak, took on an ominous air that triggered a rising anxiety in him.
“You really wanna do this now?!”
Ripp frowned at her answer, her words like fingers of ice that touched his heart, sending an internal shiver throughout his being. It was almost as though she suspected something…
Rapping his knuckles nervously on the desk, he replied in a quieter tone.
“Afterwards then,” he told her, “But no more of this, got it?!” So saying, he crumpled the paper back into a ball and returned it to whence it came.
“Alright guys,” the teacher admonished, “Let’s get back to the lesson, huh?”
She seemed to take forever in leaving, deliberately perhaps, he pondered. In the meantime, he fought to stem the quickening of his pulse as a familiar green figure passed him first.
“You okay?” Johnny asked.
“Yeah, just pissed off,” Ripp growled.
“How come?”
“Oh, it’s Angela,” he explained, “She’s been teasing me for months about my orientation…”
“Don’t let it get to you,” he soothed as he laid a hand on his shoulder. Ripp however beckoned him closer, after first checking that he hadn’t missed her.
“There was something she said that’s got me worried,” he admitted in a hushed voice, “It’s as though she knows something, like I slipped up somehow…”
Johnny’s face turned serious as he spoke again.
“Ah, not good,” he sympathised, “So what now, you waiting for her or something?”
Ripp didn’t reply, his attention more focused on laying a blanket over the fire raging once more in his heart. All he could do was nod, his hand eventually lifting to lie on Johnny’s arm as he gently pulled it away.
Johnny’s eyes then spotted movement behind him, and hastily tapped his arm.
“Better go,” he uttered, “Good luck.”
Ripp watched him go, before turning round to find Angela gazing expectantly at him.
“You got the hots for him, ain’tcha?” she jeered, starting to walk away but glancing beckoningly behind her. Taking the hint, Ripp followed as she made for her locker.
“What’s that s’posed to mean?”
“Oh come on,” she told him, “I saw the way you hugged each other earlier.”
Ripp swallowed hard as he felt himself break into a cold sweat.
“Is that so?” he tested coolly.
“Uh-huh,” she confirmed.
“That was this morning,” Ripp challenged, “What’s your excuse for the other times?”
Angela wore a smirk as she unlocked the cabinet door.
“All sorts of things,” she replied, “Surprised Ophelia never saw the way you’ve been looking at her… now ex boyfriend.”
Ripp leant across the adjacent cabinets as he eyed her, his face now deadly serious as he felt himself begin to panic.
“I beg your pardon?!” he checked slowly.
“Just like a jealous boyfriend,” she observed tauntingly as she stashed some items, “The way Dustin would look at me if another guy was hitting on me.”
“Shit,” he muttered to himself. If she’d noticed that far back, who else would have?
“Hey,” Ripp greeted his brother as he approached, not hiding his bewilderment upon spotting his serious expression. “Whassup?”
“‘Ripp’s queer,’” Tank quoted sardonically, his words intensifying the worry already building in his brother.
“What??” he checked, “Who said that?”
“She did, before she went out to see you,” Tank explained.
Ripp scowled in aggravation as he flung open his locker door, now understanding her delay in leaving the classroom.
“Bitch,” he cursed under his breath.
“Is it true?”
Ripp eyed his brother with an apologetic air as he delved into his own locker.
“Yeah,” he muttered, “Just don’t tell Dad, huh?”
Tank snorted in reply, before continuing his answer with words.
“I wouldn’t dare,” he said with disdain, before gazing at his younger brother, “Thought there was something...”
Tank’s voice took hold of Ripp’s jaw, pulling his head firmly in his direction.
“Meaning…?”
“You’re holding a torch for Johnny, ain’tcha?”
Ripp slammed his locker shut in frustration and despair, but Tank hadn’t finished.
“Wasn’t sure at first,” he said, “But the way…”
“Way I was looking at him?!” Ripp finished sourly, leaning against the lockers in resignation.
“No,” Tank frowned, pausing significantly before continuing, “The way you were hugging him this morning… I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was definitely something… I dunno,” he finished with a shrug.
Ripp’s eyes closed as he felt a rising desolation consume his being.
“Great,” he muttered, “So much for being discreet.”
Tears of humiliation and anguish began to well at his eyes as he looked about the corridor, wishing now more than anything that the ground below would crack open and engulf him.