One generic pet acquisition transmission [30/??? artefacts collected]
[ The first thing you will notice when looking at this transmission is a zoetrope sitting on a desk, obstructing most of the video feed.
The second thing you might notice are a pair of feet in the background; specifically a pair of feet sticking out from under a bed.
The third thing you will notice is-- ]
No! No, hey, come b-- You'll be much ( Read more... )
The second thing you might notice are a pair of feet in the background; specifically a pair of feet sticking out from under a bed.
The third thing you will notice is-- ]
No! No, hey, come b-- You'll be much ( Read more... )
[Dean wouldn't know what a zoetrope was even if it was obscuring most of his video feed, which is good, because he's actually at Philip's door, trying the handle and happy to find that it's unlocked.
He does, however, know the telltale whine of a puppy, because he used to travel with one 24/7 back home. Although Dean's version is bigger, likes salads, and bitchfaces when he doesn't get his way.]
...Please tell me that's what I think it is.
[Because he might just die laughing while standing here in your doorway, dude.]
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Another reason to change rooms-
[ He pushes himself into view and pulls himself up on the bed, sitting down for a moment while contemplating the next phase of his plan. A curt smile is offered in greeting. ]
-if I don't get it out of here soon?
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How th'Hell did you get a dog in here, anyway?
[Small-and-Fluffy under there makes a few more skittering noises as tiny claws scrape the hardwood floor, and Dean glances back up at Philip.]
It ain't like they just appear.
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I guess I wasn't paying attention when I went to get something from the closet earlier.
[ Specifics? Specifics. Specifics: ]
Evie and I, we talked about pets, I mentioned a dog I used to want, but apparently that's really not the best thought to remember when you're opening that door.
[ That door. The one Philip looks at now. Pausing. Closing his eyes. Focusing. Opening again.
A breath of relief and Philip holds up a piece of beef jerky. ]
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[Leaning to one side again, Dean grins harmlessly at the puppy under the bed and wiggles his fingers beneath the mattress.]
Hey, buddy.
[He never had a dog and never really wanted the responsibility, but if they were nice he could stand them.]
What dontcha come out to say hi to Uncle Dean? Your dad's got- [A brief look to Phil's jerky.] -something really tasty for ya.
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About them, not about actually getting them. [ A beat. ] At least not for me. [ Another whistle. ] We just started talking about the crocodiles here and...
[ He trails off when a tiny snout finally peeks out from under the bed. Philip pulls the jerky towards himself carefully, slowly exposing the owner of that snout.
Eyes on the puppy and his voice low Philip adds: ]
But you're right, I'm not. Which is why-
[ He quickly reaches forward and grabs the dog by the scruff of its neck. ]
-this is going right back into the closet.
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[Dean makes a face and reaches over to pry the puppy from Philip's grasp, holding it up under its front legs and scrutinizing it carefully. Awww, it's a girl puppy. That's adorable.]
Don't be a Scrooge, it's Christmas.
[The dog whines again and Dean drapes it over one shoulder, making sure to keep a good grip so the wiggly thing doesn't fall.]
If you don't want it, find someone who does.
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Philip raises both hands and takes a step back before motioning towards Dean and the puppy. ]
In that case, Merry early Christmas.
[ Enjoy your puppy, Dean. Especially its forceful wiggling, because that beef jerky on the floor sure seems like tastier company than you. ]
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Wha- No. No way, José. You're the one who asked for a shot of Siberian Husky, not me.
[He bends at the waist and deposits the dog on the floor, where she promptly trots over - stiff-legged, like most puppies - to chew on the piece of meat.]
Balto here is your problem.
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[ Philip stares at the puppy who continues chewing, blissfully unaware of the mean, bad and very mean insult directed at her.
This is normally the part where he gets out the pickaxe... ]
And you're the one who doesn't want me to put it back into the closet.
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[Too much responsibility too much too much ahhhhhh.]
You ever think maybe the closet did it on purpose? Maybe you're s'posed to have a dog. Fulfilling your childhood dream, or something.
[It might be good for him if he wanted one as a kid.]
Besides, look at that face.
[Oh yes. This face.]
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My childhood dream was a clean carpet and furniture nobody chewed on.
[ And a jet pack. Shut up, narration. ]
I'll just--
[ Scoop up the puppy plus chow, sit down and put it in his lap. Just, you know, so it doesn't escape again. ]
I'll just make a transmission later. Maybe someone's still looking for a particularly hairy Christmas present.
[ He looks up at Dean. ]
...What did you want anyway? Or, er, were you just passing through?
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[Dean grins, and grins, and grins some more, and looks down at the tiny little dog.]
Maybe someone around here'll be willing to take her in.
[He then rolls his shoulders in a shrug.]
And I just made some barbecue, is all. Thought you might wanna have some, there's a lot. You can bring Fido if you want.
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Don't call her F-- It's a her?
[ Absent-mindedly Philip's fingers start scratching her behind her ears. ]
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You're the doctor, you tell me.
[Yes, in fact, Dean does know the difference between being a medical doctor and simply having a doctorate in something, but how could Philip have overlooked the most glaringly obvious detail about a new puppy?
Dean smirks knowingly at the change of heart apparent in Philip's dog-petting.
Oh, he has no hope of resisting. He is so keeping that thing.]
Comfy?
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She is, but I'll probably have to get a lint roller from the closet without accidentally fetching a camel.
[ He stares warily at Dean's expression. ]
...I'm not keeping her.
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