(no subject)
Its so bizarre how I am so happy with what I have in my life, my family, my friends, and my hopeful future, but that the same time I am still that sad lonely girl who thinks way to much. Lately I have just thinking way to much(like always) but i find myself zoning out, everywhere, at school, with friends, while I'm shopping, watching TV, or even talking to people. I don't really think about anything then, I'm just staring off, unfocused on what is going on around me. Its nice not to have to think about anything, not to be stressed for a few seconds.
I lay in bed every single night, thinking about what I did that day, what I want/have/need to do the next day, think about if I do want to go to school for something else after I graduate soon, wonder what other random people are doing and how they are, stress out about money, my health, a new favorite song, random daydreams about bullshit. gahhh, I need to stressing about every little thing.
I feel like I'm such a social networker, I am always connected, when really I don't even have that many friends in Wilmington, but somehow my phone gets blown the fuck up all day, or when I go home, people ask me whats going on that night, when how the hell would I know if I don't live in that city. I remember when I had no phone, or internet for a week this past summer. I was so bored yet so content with that whole situation. and I love the internet, I could facebook lurk all night, I do all the time now, I don't know why, but I do, I waste half my free alone time online. sometimes i wish i could pull the plug and just be ghost for a week. not talk to people, just sit in my apartment, read, smoke ciggs, watch cartoons, movies, and just think about everything so that I wouldn't have to think at all anymore about dumb crap.
One day- I will be completely satisfied-happy with all my petty accomplishments, and just not have to think about dumb things anymore. It really is such a waste of my time, I could be out doing something more productive. ahhhhh...
Also, the new Deftones cd is fantastic. I cannot stop listening to it. I listen to it in my car, the shower, ha right now. They never disappoint me.
I lay in bed every single night, thinking about what I did that day, what I want/have/need to do the next day, think about if I do want to go to school for something else after I graduate soon, wonder what other random people are doing and how they are, stress out about money, my health, a new favorite song, random daydreams about bullshit. gahhh, I need to stressing about every little thing.
I feel like I'm such a social networker, I am always connected, when really I don't even have that many friends in Wilmington, but somehow my phone gets blown the fuck up all day, or when I go home, people ask me whats going on that night, when how the hell would I know if I don't live in that city. I remember when I had no phone, or internet for a week this past summer. I was so bored yet so content with that whole situation. and I love the internet, I could facebook lurk all night, I do all the time now, I don't know why, but I do, I waste half my free alone time online. sometimes i wish i could pull the plug and just be ghost for a week. not talk to people, just sit in my apartment, read, smoke ciggs, watch cartoons, movies, and just think about everything so that I wouldn't have to think at all anymore about dumb crap.
One day- I will be completely satisfied-happy with all my petty accomplishments, and just not have to think about dumb things anymore. It really is such a waste of my time, I could be out doing something more productive. ahhhhh...
Also, the new Deftones cd is fantastic. I cannot stop listening to it. I listen to it in my car, the shower, ha right now. They never disappoint me.