Meanful and Meaningful
This is an interesting feeling, coming back to this after so long. But as my introspection waxes, I feel the need for extra outlets.
I've watched in hindsight the years of my life and wonder how such a normal girl like me could have seen so much already. Yet as I journey the rerun of emotional roller coasters by reading my past, I know without a doubt, my life is yet to begin. This journey, both physical and psychological, will be my greatest test and my greatest adventure.
Yet the irony of life knows no bounds, and in my hasty preparations for leaving I've finally come to see what I have here. In that realization I have found what I never hoped to feel again: happiness. I have been filled up with the love of others, and I know longer carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I may still be the One Girl Wonder, I may still care too much, I may still give myself to those that need my help without thought to my own self; but at the end of the day, I know for what cause.
My only regret lies with those that I have lost of my own accord. Not purposefully, but from neglect. I have found it difficult to keep those that have wandered down different paths than I. Yet no matter how much time has passed, I still think of them often, and always hoped to find them again. Now I am afraid it is too late to mend the harm I've done, for my days are limited. But for whatever small consolation, I still love them all dearly, and wish them nothing but happiness. Perhaps someday our paths will cross again.
As a lesson learned I'm conscious of those currently in my life that I'm leaving behind. I always believed that I would bear the weight of distance alone. I had hoped that I would not be missed, but it has been boldly proven that is not the case. Therefore I will hold on to every scrap of contact with my very breath of life. For I no longer need to run away from anything here; I am only going to find myself, my muse, and my peace. But my heart, it seems, to the shock of my existence, remains here, in Jackson, Michigan.
I've watched in hindsight the years of my life and wonder how such a normal girl like me could have seen so much already. Yet as I journey the rerun of emotional roller coasters by reading my past, I know without a doubt, my life is yet to begin. This journey, both physical and psychological, will be my greatest test and my greatest adventure.
Yet the irony of life knows no bounds, and in my hasty preparations for leaving I've finally come to see what I have here. In that realization I have found what I never hoped to feel again: happiness. I have been filled up with the love of others, and I know longer carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I may still be the One Girl Wonder, I may still care too much, I may still give myself to those that need my help without thought to my own self; but at the end of the day, I know for what cause.
My only regret lies with those that I have lost of my own accord. Not purposefully, but from neglect. I have found it difficult to keep those that have wandered down different paths than I. Yet no matter how much time has passed, I still think of them often, and always hoped to find them again. Now I am afraid it is too late to mend the harm I've done, for my days are limited. But for whatever small consolation, I still love them all dearly, and wish them nothing but happiness. Perhaps someday our paths will cross again.
As a lesson learned I'm conscious of those currently in my life that I'm leaving behind. I always believed that I would bear the weight of distance alone. I had hoped that I would not be missed, but it has been boldly proven that is not the case. Therefore I will hold on to every scrap of contact with my very breath of life. For I no longer need to run away from anything here; I am only going to find myself, my muse, and my peace. But my heart, it seems, to the shock of my existence, remains here, in Jackson, Michigan.