So much time and so little to do...Strike that, reverse it...
I had a revelation last night. As I was trying to get to sleep I began to think about my grandparents. It was one of those realizations of mortality. Not for myself, at first, but for those that I love. And for those, like my grandparents, whose time may be limited now. I thought of how they do not really know me, and I wondered if they minded. I mean, at their age, do you really wonder what people are like anymore? Then I wondered if I minded that my grandparents may die someday without ever having known who I am. What about my own parents? Then I realized, not only do they not know me, but I barely know them, and that does bother me. I mean, they've lived almost four times my own lifetme; they must know so much more about life. Would they be willing to tell me? I really would like to know their stories, and what they've learned from them; but how could they trust me if they do not know me? And that is when I began to become aware of my own mortality. Not for fear of death, but for not having enough time to achieve all that I wish to in my lifetime. So many people I would like to know, but how can I honestly believe that I could know anyone through trust if I do not allow them to know me first? That is but one of the reasons why I feel so strongly about my writing. It is a way to share myself with others as an offering so that they may share in return.
Then am I wasting my life by following each stair that society claims I must walk? Should I merely follow my meanings, my heart if you will, in order to ensure, without doubt, that I have done all in my power to fulfill those dreams that I hold dear? For that one aspect which I did so, dropped all that I knew to dedicate myself to what I believed was right; though I lost much of what I treasured, and hardship is riddled throughout my joy, still I know, without doubt, that my one true joy is worth all that I left behind.
"Mortality of the eye and mind is seeing death and fearing the end of life; mortality of heart is seeing death and fearing the end of dreams."
Then am I wasting my life by following each stair that society claims I must walk? Should I merely follow my meanings, my heart if you will, in order to ensure, without doubt, that I have done all in my power to fulfill those dreams that I hold dear? For that one aspect which I did so, dropped all that I knew to dedicate myself to what I believed was right; though I lost much of what I treasured, and hardship is riddled throughout my joy, still I know, without doubt, that my one true joy is worth all that I left behind.
"Mortality of the eye and mind is seeing death and fearing the end of life; mortality of heart is seeing death and fearing the end of dreams."