Help save the human race, kill an emo kid...
I can feel my life building up to something. At this very moment I can sense the world straining in anticipation. It's been building for a while, yet I still don't know what it's for. Though I can tell it will be something dramatic. The mixture of fear and excitement has driven away my emotional composure and has left me vulnerable to breakdowns. I cannot control it, it overwhelms me. All the memories seem to wash over me until I feel as if I am drowning. It is no longer the less pleasant memories that fueled my transition into an individual; it is the bombardment of all those memories that hold warm places in my heart. And those are far more powerful than the negative ones. Understanding that those memories will never materialize again in my life, that I've lost the opportunity to do better by them, that is the saddest realization I have yet experienced. Now is the time to discover if I am better because of them, if I will succeed in my chosen path; or if that choice proves to be the end of me.
At least this time, no matter how lonely I feel, I know I'm no longer alone. I have far more help than I deserve; the challenge is allowing myself to use it. Can it still be my own victory? Can I still claim that I had the strength to fix myself again, if it is someone else's strength that I borrow? Can I find a way to believe that I am worth this chaos?
"Dreams are bad when all they do is leave the truth behind.
Dreams are bad when negativity's a state of mind."
At least this time, no matter how lonely I feel, I know I'm no longer alone. I have far more help than I deserve; the challenge is allowing myself to use it. Can it still be my own victory? Can I still claim that I had the strength to fix myself again, if it is someone else's strength that I borrow? Can I find a way to believe that I am worth this chaos?
"Dreams are bad when all they do is leave the truth behind.
Dreams are bad when negativity's a state of mind."