i like you - like me back? maybe?
Never had a boredom post before. So this is how it feels. Hummm not something too great. But I guess considering how bored I am, the activity is rather a sort of actual blessing. I came across a thought - I'm not as changed as I was two weeks ago. I'm falling in to a circle I was trying really hard to fall out of. I cant stop it. Wait, that came out wrong. I'm not actually falling. I'm talking to everyone. I am, I'm just pushing my ill state a little too much maybe? Or maybe it's all in my head… I stopped keeping track of that.
I need professional help. And no -I'm not being stupid, I need it. I have things that need to be resolved by someone that doesn’t know my life. Someone that will forget me the minute I step out of his view and remember me only when I step back in. I need someone that truly does not love me.
Loving me… lol…
How come all posts are this angsty?! I'm that… full of angst!? Guess not, I just find it easy to be angsty here… sort of like a … I don’t know, like an opportunity to get all the crap I have before I face the people I love… as you know, I learned to love my outer life form… so in order to keep it happy and not screw it up by being a drag - I fill up with angst and take it out here. Kinda like orgasming. God I wanna orgasm. I really want to have sex. Really! I wanna! But I'm a pussy (cue punch line drums).. I'm scared of a kiss.. let's not even get to the sex fear. I wonder why I'm that scared. I've been told I'm pretty. That I'm worth a jack off. Then what's so scary?! The pain? The blood? Both? Rejection? The cock? God! Why am I blabbing about sex?! I never got to second base!!!
My first official boredom post I ending - it's was, really, a great 15 minutes! I got to talk about sex.. I should do that more often, I like it 8)
I need professional help. And no -I'm not being stupid, I need it. I have things that need to be resolved by someone that doesn’t know my life. Someone that will forget me the minute I step out of his view and remember me only when I step back in. I need someone that truly does not love me.
Loving me… lol…
How come all posts are this angsty?! I'm that… full of angst!? Guess not, I just find it easy to be angsty here… sort of like a … I don’t know, like an opportunity to get all the crap I have before I face the people I love… as you know, I learned to love my outer life form… so in order to keep it happy and not screw it up by being a drag - I fill up with angst and take it out here. Kinda like orgasming. God I wanna orgasm. I really want to have sex. Really! I wanna! But I'm a pussy (cue punch line drums).. I'm scared of a kiss.. let's not even get to the sex fear. I wonder why I'm that scared. I've been told I'm pretty. That I'm worth a jack off. Then what's so scary?! The pain? The blood? Both? Rejection? The cock? God! Why am I blabbing about sex?! I never got to second base!!!
My first official boredom post I ending - it's was, really, a great 15 minutes! I got to talk about sex.. I should do that more often, I like it 8)