(no subject)
...for those of you who wanted copies. The finished copy of...
A Pagan Way of Living And Dying: "Suffering To Learn" As Sacrament"
by Eleanore of Moon's Inkwell (c)2006 Lucy Mogensen
Face it, dying is something we all have to do. You can't argue percentages on that.
Life is a dangerous place. Almost nobody gets out alive. And honestly, when Neo-
Pagans (a large chunk of whom are Wiccan, and to whom hereafter I will refer to simply
as “Pagan”), start talking about “suffering to learn,” they often really don't know what
they are getting themselves into. (Bear with me on this...you may be one of the few who
really do “get it,” but there are plenty who don't.)
Okay, you can argue that not only does everyone die, everyone suffers. It's just
part of life. So no big deal, right? A few--okay, maybe more than a few--years ago a
famous bumper sticker got everyone in my southern, Bible-belt town “riled up.” My
mother, (a very wise woman of Celtic descent), would say of the fairly free-spoken
saying, “Well, you know, 'S**t Happens,' is really a perfect theological statement. First of all, it's true. You can't argue with it. But when you think about it, you have two choices
about what to do about it. You can either complain about how it smells, or you can turn it
into fertilizer. Which will you do?”
Now, you have to understand that my mother grew up on a dairy farm in the Western U.S., and though she held a bachelor's degree in philosophy and a seminary degree (she was a priest and theologian), she was also quite frank and very “earthy.” “Earthy,”something that every Pagan aspires to be, yes? Or at least, can't argue with. Aren't we an earth-centered religion? And what could be more earth-centered than excrement and death?
It seems to me that turning excrement to fertilizer, though harder work than griping about the smell of it, would be a lofty goal. Okay, maybe not lofty - but certainly sensible. Only, it's not easy. And then, it's just gross.
Oh, we don't want to talk about that, the “new ones” say. It's nasty. It's not a good
discussion topic. We're perfectly happy to talk about our warrior gods and goddesses, our
savage totem animals, and our warrior spirits, but lets not discuss what battle smells or
looks like after the fact, thank-you-very-much. And our Mother Goddesses may also be
“Destroyers,” but we don't have to dwell on baby's heads hanging from her skirts, do we?
And our God's 'giant club' is really good for sex - we don't have to talk about the fact that
it also bashes in the heads of the decidedly unwary or misbehaved. (Okay, I can hear
those of you who “get this,” out there really grumbling, but really you might get something worth having if you keep reading!).
Like going to the bathroom, necessity goes for living, and for dying, too. We'll often just avoid unpalatable subjects, like the proverbial elephant in the middle of the dining room table, and talk about, as Pagans, our hallmarks of “love and pleasure,” hedonism, and heavenly/earthly worship. We want to spend our time being ecstatic, going to festivals, learning from great teachers, reading great books, and meeting the people whose names are on the outside of those books.
We don't have time or energy for the hard work, we have “real” lives that need attention, and we just can't spare the change this week.
Then there are those who are a little bit wiser, who realize someone must pay the
grocery bill for the festivals, and rent the port-a-potties. Some are willing to do more
than a couple of hours of community service. They might be vendors, or do something
special, or host an event, or teach a workshop. Some will follow the ancient mandate to
teach and try to pass on some of what they've learned. Some of us even say we want
dynamic balance and polarity in our lives, because that's what our religion is all about,
isn't it?
But still we avoid the concepts of death-no matter how far off or impending, and the suffering we all have sworn to do. We avoid all the nastiness that goes with it, too. We are shocked when we see an Elder priestess cleaning the latrines, and can’t understand why anyone would “let” her do that! (As if we could stop her!) Then, there’s the fact that I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, even by Elders, why Pagans
seem to have to suffer so much when they really take their Craft seriously.
The problem is, that other than to nod our heads and take our oaths to “suffer to learn,” all blithely unaware and innocent (even though many of us have been duly warned by our Elders), many have not the slightest concept what it means to take such an oath.
And I say that as one who took that oath at the age of 29, thinking that having grown up as the child of two priests, that I knew exactly what it meant. Boy, was I kidding myself.
Now, I've got to say, briefly, that I speak from experience on the topic of suffering, as all who speak on it must when coming to terms with the ugly side of being physically human. I am the parent of a child who died from cancer, and I have several
physical ailments that make being what I am (a priestess and Elder) very difficult, and
keep me from really functioning in the mundane world altogether. They didn't happen to
me because I'm Pagan, or because I'm a priestess, but they are the way that my oath has
manifested in my life. But my suffering is not what this article is about.
Really, this article isn't about the bad stuff at all; it's about living, and living
sacramentally. Living is something a lot of people, including Pagans, are afraid to do. We don't know what it means to do. And in fact, living, and living well, and as a conscious sacrament, is what being willing to “suffer to learn” is all about.
Now, to use a word, especially one many are unfamiliar with or have strong emotional reactions to, first you must define it. A lot of Pagans don't use words like “sacrament,” because they sound too Christian. Okay, I'll buy that. A lot of folks come to the world of Paganism as a reaction against something else, at least, initially. Often, that something else is Christianity; in particular, American fundamentalist Christianity.
But there comes a time to “pull up your big-girl panties” and get on with your life,
and with serving the Gods. If you are a priest or a priestess in this religion, which
encompasses all the Divine, both within the world and beyond it, then you have pastoral
and theological responsibilities which include being able to communicate about who and
what you are and do, not an easy thing. And there are perfectly good words already out there that can be used to meet our needs. Refusing to use them because other religions already have leaves us in a muddle trying to find language to make us understandable. It's hard enough to be a mystery cult, where words fail us often simply because of the nature of our experience; to not use what is available to us is just silly.
So 'sacrament;' what does it mean? According to Meriam-Webster's Online
Dictionary (http://meriamwebster.com/) the word 'sacrament' comes from Latin's sacrare, a verb which means to consecrate or make holy. We consecrate our tools. When we initiate, we consecrate ourselves. We are making our tools, and ourselves, holy and dedicated to the use of the Gods.
What many Pagans do not realize is that when we are taking oath to “suffer to
learn,” we are consecrating our joy, our suffering, our living, and our dying, all for the
use of the Gods as they see fit.
In some versions of the Charge of The God, it clearly states that “All Acts of
Willing Sacrifice Are My Rituals.” Many priests, and priestesses too, do not realize that
“Love and Pleasure” are not the only rituals sacred to the Gods. We must balance love and pleasure with “Willing Sacrifice.” We must not cling only to ecstatic joy and the making of life. We must embrace death and dance with it.
These same folks who do not realize the meaning of the oaths they take will celebrate the Lord's Rituals (in particular the Sabbats of Harvest), and never really think about what it means to suffer and die as a sacrament. Or if they do, they think of it as the God's job, and not something that humans really have to worry about. So what is dying as a sacrament, and why do we have to do it as part of a mandate of our priesthood?
We live, and die, as a way of making our own bodies, our own suffering, our joy,
our sex, our trips to the bathroom, our trips to the doctor, our trips to eat out or celebrate,
our every movement (whether it hurts or not), and our own love and the living with
fullness of life itself, as a gift to those around us and to the Gods. That is, as a “Willing
Sacrifice.” That is sacrament. That is to make our primary "tool" (ourselves) sacred and holy.
As the priests and priestesses of our religion, it is our job to bring the sacrament, the holy, the consecrated, the every-day, to those we serve -- and I mean not only the Gods, but those who surround us in our every day lives (whether in the context of the Pagan world or the "mundane" one.) It is what we are all about. We must carry our suffering to our congregants even as we carry our joy, or we do not represent the sacrament of Life in its fullness. If we do not present the whole, we are sadly kidding our congregants, and kidding ourselves. And that goes to both the priests and the priestesses out there.
Okay, I can hear the objections now from some of the priestesses--especially those who've been working their butts off for years trying to make ends meet with their groups. "We're already overworked doing what we're doing. I really don't want people getting into my private business anyway. This talk of sacrament is all very well, but we're not priests, we're priestesses. It's hard enough doing our own jobs, let alone the priests'. So we don't really have to understand that whole "willing sacrifice" thing, or use it, other than to teach our male students to do it. It's their (the priests') job to ritualize it, because it's in the God's realm. I have enough to do 'Drawing Down The Moon.' Besides, if the priests were doing what they were supposed to be doing, we wouldn't have to even worry about it!" (I've actually heard this or I wouldn't bring it up!)
And I ask you, how many of you are doing both a priest's and priestess' jobs already because you have to? Is it because you don't have enough “men of rank” to “do it properly?” Or is it because you just have had so little experience working with masculine energies that you don’t know how? Or better yet, and this goes for priests and priestesses alike--how many of you, even if you do have both genders of rank in your group, or a working partner of some experience, have the balance of the worship of your God within yourself even as you have the worship of your Goddess? Or vice versa? Do you truly hold both in equal splendor, equal might, and equal understanding?
Wicca, and Paganism in general, while matrifocal, have gotten a bad reputation for being sexist, and sometimes they are. What is known as the “Neo-Pagan Movement” started in the U.S. in part, in reaction against patriarchal fundamentalist religions that are inherent in our culture and history. It's natural to want to restore balance over the long term by that reaction.
Yet we preach that dynamic balance is all, and necessary to reach the upper levels of mystery revelation. We preach that this is necessary for individuals as well as for the culture as a whole. This also goes for our covens, groves and circles. And I ask, are we truly balanced? Are we? And can we truly claim that balance if we only live in one hemisphere of the experience of life?
Both priests and priestesses must be balanced in and of themselves to function
fully as clergy in a healthy way. That's what reaching those “upper levels” of initiation is
partly about - a recognition that you carry both God and Goddess, in dynamic balance,
within the self, and that you can access the power of the Lord and Lady's Great Rite at any time at need. It may also mean you have experience, wisdom, good sense, and have learned all your P's and Q's, but it also has to mean that you “get it,” or it just doesn't fly.
Are you balanced if you balk at death and things unsavory? Do you make hospital visits when your congregants are hooked up to things that are gross, or freak you out? Or do you avoid these folks and send a nice card? Are you balanced if you balk at things either male or female because of your own personal issues? Do you stick to those of the same sexual orientation as yourself or worship either the Goddess or the God singly but not the other? Are you balanced if you balk at things light, springy, and “fluff bunny” and like to stay in dark places with dark people? (I myself balk at the latter, so I know my own imbalance there intimately!)
In order to maintain a 'sacramental' priesthood, you must dedicate
every action you take, every thought you have, everything you voice, and every prayer you make to the Divine. And you must not forget, if you have taken those oaths, that those actions, thoughts, words, and prayers are heard by the Divine as such, and acted upon as such, whether you are thinking about it or not.
No pressure!
Makes you think, huh? What about the poor girl you snapped at last week
because you were in a bad mood? What about the thing you repeated because it was a
good story, but really shouldn't have been repeated all the same? What about that
moment when you realized that you hate hurting, or wish your doctor would fall into a
ravine, or your insurance company would get a clue? What about that white lie? Or the promise you failed to keep?
Is your God or Goddess ever angry or hurt? Do they ever suffer or crab? Are they always sweet and pleasant? Or are they never sweet and pleasant? Are they always angry or hurt, or always in a lousy mood? Do you really know them intimately enough to know “both” (or more) sides of their personalities? Or do you stick to the deities who make you feel most comfortable and ignore the rest of the pantheon(s)?
Perhaps we anthropomorphize our Gods too much. We've made them too human.
Perhaps we haven't made them human enough. Perhaps we need to get to know them
better: as friends, masters, lovers, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, partners, guides,
saviors, and fellow priests. Perhaps we need to remember that we are ourselves, head
and heart ands hands, our true tool - and that when we consecrate ourselves, we must
remember that our "blade" must, as an athame's must, cut both ways.
Perhaps we need to remember that in life, “S**t Happens,” and get on with the process of making fertilizer out of it!
Live and live fully. Die and die well. Make everything in between worth
remembering. But remember to make it a sacrament. Remember to make it worth it to your Gods. That is what it means to be a true "human sacrifice," to give of everything you are, both good and bad, positive and negative, joyful and suffering, and to do it with true willingness and love in your heart!
***
... was successfully submitted to Witches' Voice today. My query letter from yesterday was heartily welcomed and I submitted in their preferred format just a few moments ago. We'll see how it goes. Fingers and toes crossed?
Then I got excited and finished an article I started last November on stewardship, titled, of course, ... ...
Stewardship: Is It A Dirty Word?
by Eleanore of Moon's Inkwell (c)2006 Lucy Mogensen
As Pagans, we make a point of avoiding issues of money in relation to our religion. We generally, when forced to do so, define “stewardship” as a process of taking care of the planet (which it is), and forget that taking care of ourselves, each other, and yes, the planet, costs money.
Stewardship is defined, by Meriam-Webster Online (http://meriamwebster.com/) as “the office, duties, and obligations of a steward,” and “the conducting, supervising, or managing of something; especially : the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care, as in the stewardship of our natural resources.” (Italics not mine.)
That’s a definition that most of us can work with without difficulty. But then, it’s not just our natural resources that must be husbanded carefully, but our human-created resources as well, and there’s nothing bigger out there that’s human-created than money. Not even trash. And believe me, if you recycle stubbornly, you ought to at least think about where your money goes!
Stewardship is also an action of faith--not just a way of picking up after everyone. It demands that you make a conscious and deliberate action of giving -- and that is to give from the heart to the Gods for them to use what you give as they will. You give of your time, your heart, your life, your belongings and home, and yes, your cash. I have a friend who used to say “The Craft doesn’t pay for broken windows.” I believe it should, at least if they get broken in the service of the Gods!
Unfortunately, “stewardship” as a term is frequently associated with Christian finances, both positive and negative, and thus has become a subject avoided as anathema by Pagans. But what many of us don't really realize, and those who do realize don't emphasize, is that is that you must, as a person of faith, put your money, your hard work, your other resources, and frankly, whatever energy you have, where your mouth is.
The truth is that our Elders end up paying for pretty much everything out of their own pockets. Did you go to a festival? Someone bought the groceries for main feast and whatever meals were provided for you. Did you have to rent a site? Someone paid that bill! Did you use toilet paper, or other paper products such as towels, napkins, plates, or plastic items? Someone paid for them, and someone cleaned up after you if you didn’t do it for yourself. In your weekly or monthly meetings, do you have a potluck with your group? How often does your High Priest and/or Priestess, or those who host the event, provide the main dish, or even all the food or drink? Do you forget your offerings? Or bring token small things that really aren’t any sacrifice at all? Or do you even think about it?
Our world is hungry for what we can provide. We are one of the fastest growing religions in the United States today (if you lump all various types and kinds of Neo-Pagans and Heathens together to count us), and we are impacting our society in ways that many of us are unaware of. Look around you sometime.
Go to the mall just to see what people are wearing. Go to your bookstore and look at the shelves. Listen to the radio and figure our how many bands (major label or minor) are Pagan. Watch movies and television and tell me that there aren’t liberal and Pagan themes worked into a lot of what your see. Tell me how many pentacles, ankhs, and Thor’s hammers are subtly attached to people’s necks, clothing, and fingers.
Look especially at the young, the upcoming adults who will be making the major decisions in our culture in the next ten or twenty years. For many of them, it's not "just a phase" they are going through, as others may think. These young adults will be shaping the world we retire in, and we are their examples to follow!
Our presence may be subtle in the general culture, yes, but it is still palpably there. What we provide as a spiritual path is an acceptance of a wide variety of beliefs and faiths, an acceptance of individual needs, and a community in which those individual paths can be explored.
We provide a window into the mystical and the mythical, the depth and power of the God/ess(es) and we do it all without ever knocking on a door or asking if anyone has found the Goddess yet. People need that, and we provide that. In fact, I think I’ve (attempted) to warn more people away from the Craft than I’ve ever accepted as students or congregants - yet still they come, and still they ask, and still they hunger!
And every bit of this costs money, energy, hard work, and the donations of food, clothing, fire wood, sites, publishing materials, books, and other items.
It makes me want to sigh. I wish for the “good old days” when we cared for those who cared for us without even thinking about it--those days when we brought gifts to those who rode the spirit winds and walked between the worlds for us. Ah, we think, those were the days when we understood the personal and financial cost of being one of “The Wise!”
Of course, those “old days,” are really a romanticized fiction, and never really happened. And, also, folks do still bring pot-luck items and leave the leftovers, or help with the yard, or the house, or help prepare for group events one person is incapable of preparing for by themselves. So I really have nothing to complain about do I?
I think, then, those other costs really can't be so much, can they? I look at my amazing grocery bill and realize I'm spending too much, of course, but I just can’t really stop bearing forth what I think of as sacred hospitality and celebrating the bounty of the Gods when it's key to my religious understanding, even if it takes up way too much of my monthly budget!
When I say in Circle, “never hunger and never thirst,” I mean it! But what happens if it depletes mine and my family’s resources to do that?
I hear my peers, and my congregants, complain about the cost of food for a cookout, or a festival, the water or electricity for a mini-gathering in someone’s back yard, the fees for a professionally maintained site if it’s a larger event-- even when their own comparative contribution has been small. I’ve even heard one or two say they got away from Christianity so they wouldn’t have to make pledges and give offerings!
I understand where they are coming from. But nevertheless, I also see a need, and a need that isn’t being met by a majority of our practitioners.
I see what these folks bring, too, when they attend events. Often, the offerings they make are small or token, and never really even begin to enter the realm of sacred sacrifice, let alone reasonable accommodation! Now, I can accept that there are definitely religious groups out there, of one type or another, that are constantly begging for money, and using it for more than covering the bills. On the other hand, churches must have budgets to operate, and the priest(s) can’t be the only ones to contribute to the kitty.
There must be a way to deal with supply and site issues, the cost of study materials, paper and printing supplies, teaching tools, and other items, without either becoming abusive and "charging" for The Craft or failing to meet religious need when someone is unable to contribute!
It is important to always remember not to deny what you provide as clergy to someone if they don't have the resources to share with the group, or are in a place where they are in need. The point of this article is not to drag the grubby dimes out of the empty pockets. Healthy stewardship can always be expressed through hard work or participation in group events! But if you have it, then why isn’t a reasonable amount of it not flowing into the Craft, and why are so many offended if asked to contribute what they can?
Whether you are one who regularly is able to provide for others without harm to you or yourself, or whether you scrape by on a daily basis, please never exclude someone because they cannot contribute, and please never excuse yourself from helping where you can.
Whether we like it or not, we are church. That is what we do and what we are. We are church in our homes, in the woods, at state parks, in caves, in fields of green - but still we are church. Church does not mean a building. We are a body of religious believers, meeting in small cell groups, but a body nonetheless, and we must take responsibility for what that means.
The Craft is “growing up.” We are no longer a fledgling, reactionary group of individuals, nor are we gathered together in tiny, secretive, socially outcast groups in the depths of night. At least, most of us aren't, unless we choose to be. We are now a publicly accessible and open association of groups and individuals who are a religion, with buildings, land, websites, houses, site fees, electric bills, plumbing problems, libraries, publishers and deadlines, and the need for new roofs on occasion.
It is incumbent on all of us, and not only our clergy, to help meet the cost - in labor, in supplies, and yes, in dollars - of these things, or we will not be able to function. We are way past the point when a single clergy member should be spending anywhere from $200 to $3,000 on a given event (or far more) while others just show up, have fun, and leave someone else to do the dishes, with maybe a six-pack or a sack of potatoes in hand. Don't get me wrong -- the six-pack and potatoes are lovely, and we couldn't get by without them, but do they really cover the need?
What are we, as modern Pagans, going to do about it? I know how other groups have done it (such as different types of worship communities in other religions), but we must find a way that works for us. Some groups have pledges or dues, and use those funds for group needs. Others take up donations when the need is great. But still, the few who take the Craft as their life and practice as Clergy are the ones who foot most of the bill, and frankly, if that continues, we simply will not survive.
We cannot pride ourselves on having unpaid Clergy who willingly answer the call without recompense from the community, and still expect them to provide us with all of our needs -both physical and spiritual-- without ever chipping in!
Please remember next time you see a need you can fill, that those who give are ever more blessed, and are those who can and will receive with joy in their hearts. Choose a group, clergy member, or charity that you believe will use the funds with discretion, and give with your heart! You won't be sorry you did!
***
... which has been submitted elsewhere. I've worked on the book, too. Hoping against all hopes that this is not just a "manic" phase and that I'll be able to rest and pace myself. So far, so good. I write for a few hours, and sleep for a few hours, and don't worry at all about the time of day. It works out all right -- though I've pretty much just camped out on the living room couch. :-)
Bought a really cheap ottoman today (the byzantines were all gone) so I can keep my poor swollen feet up while I write. I tried sitting on the couch the "long way" and putting the laptop either in my lap or on my lovely slanting table, but neither got me the right angle for my wrists. Now I can sit on the couch the normal way, still keep my feet up, tuck myself in with pillows to hold up my back, and go to town typing. I knew there was a reason I took that dumb (read: annoying) class!
A Pagan Way of Living And Dying: "Suffering To Learn" As Sacrament"
by Eleanore of Moon's Inkwell (c)2006 Lucy Mogensen
Face it, dying is something we all have to do. You can't argue percentages on that.
Life is a dangerous place. Almost nobody gets out alive. And honestly, when Neo-
Pagans (a large chunk of whom are Wiccan, and to whom hereafter I will refer to simply
as “Pagan”), start talking about “suffering to learn,” they often really don't know what
they are getting themselves into. (Bear with me on this...you may be one of the few who
really do “get it,” but there are plenty who don't.)
Okay, you can argue that not only does everyone die, everyone suffers. It's just
part of life. So no big deal, right? A few--okay, maybe more than a few--years ago a
famous bumper sticker got everyone in my southern, Bible-belt town “riled up.” My
mother, (a very wise woman of Celtic descent), would say of the fairly free-spoken
saying, “Well, you know, 'S**t Happens,' is really a perfect theological statement. First of all, it's true. You can't argue with it. But when you think about it, you have two choices
about what to do about it. You can either complain about how it smells, or you can turn it
into fertilizer. Which will you do?”
Now, you have to understand that my mother grew up on a dairy farm in the Western U.S., and though she held a bachelor's degree in philosophy and a seminary degree (she was a priest and theologian), she was also quite frank and very “earthy.” “Earthy,”something that every Pagan aspires to be, yes? Or at least, can't argue with. Aren't we an earth-centered religion? And what could be more earth-centered than excrement and death?
It seems to me that turning excrement to fertilizer, though harder work than griping about the smell of it, would be a lofty goal. Okay, maybe not lofty - but certainly sensible. Only, it's not easy. And then, it's just gross.
Oh, we don't want to talk about that, the “new ones” say. It's nasty. It's not a good
discussion topic. We're perfectly happy to talk about our warrior gods and goddesses, our
savage totem animals, and our warrior spirits, but lets not discuss what battle smells or
looks like after the fact, thank-you-very-much. And our Mother Goddesses may also be
“Destroyers,” but we don't have to dwell on baby's heads hanging from her skirts, do we?
And our God's 'giant club' is really good for sex - we don't have to talk about the fact that
it also bashes in the heads of the decidedly unwary or misbehaved. (Okay, I can hear
those of you who “get this,” out there really grumbling, but really you might get something worth having if you keep reading!).
Like going to the bathroom, necessity goes for living, and for dying, too. We'll often just avoid unpalatable subjects, like the proverbial elephant in the middle of the dining room table, and talk about, as Pagans, our hallmarks of “love and pleasure,” hedonism, and heavenly/earthly worship. We want to spend our time being ecstatic, going to festivals, learning from great teachers, reading great books, and meeting the people whose names are on the outside of those books.
We don't have time or energy for the hard work, we have “real” lives that need attention, and we just can't spare the change this week.
Then there are those who are a little bit wiser, who realize someone must pay the
grocery bill for the festivals, and rent the port-a-potties. Some are willing to do more
than a couple of hours of community service. They might be vendors, or do something
special, or host an event, or teach a workshop. Some will follow the ancient mandate to
teach and try to pass on some of what they've learned. Some of us even say we want
dynamic balance and polarity in our lives, because that's what our religion is all about,
isn't it?
But still we avoid the concepts of death-no matter how far off or impending, and the suffering we all have sworn to do. We avoid all the nastiness that goes with it, too. We are shocked when we see an Elder priestess cleaning the latrines, and can’t understand why anyone would “let” her do that! (As if we could stop her!) Then, there’s the fact that I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, even by Elders, why Pagans
seem to have to suffer so much when they really take their Craft seriously.
The problem is, that other than to nod our heads and take our oaths to “suffer to learn,” all blithely unaware and innocent (even though many of us have been duly warned by our Elders), many have not the slightest concept what it means to take such an oath.
And I say that as one who took that oath at the age of 29, thinking that having grown up as the child of two priests, that I knew exactly what it meant. Boy, was I kidding myself.
Now, I've got to say, briefly, that I speak from experience on the topic of suffering, as all who speak on it must when coming to terms with the ugly side of being physically human. I am the parent of a child who died from cancer, and I have several
physical ailments that make being what I am (a priestess and Elder) very difficult, and
keep me from really functioning in the mundane world altogether. They didn't happen to
me because I'm Pagan, or because I'm a priestess, but they are the way that my oath has
manifested in my life. But my suffering is not what this article is about.
Really, this article isn't about the bad stuff at all; it's about living, and living
sacramentally. Living is something a lot of people, including Pagans, are afraid to do. We don't know what it means to do. And in fact, living, and living well, and as a conscious sacrament, is what being willing to “suffer to learn” is all about.
Now, to use a word, especially one many are unfamiliar with or have strong emotional reactions to, first you must define it. A lot of Pagans don't use words like “sacrament,” because they sound too Christian. Okay, I'll buy that. A lot of folks come to the world of Paganism as a reaction against something else, at least, initially. Often, that something else is Christianity; in particular, American fundamentalist Christianity.
But there comes a time to “pull up your big-girl panties” and get on with your life,
and with serving the Gods. If you are a priest or a priestess in this religion, which
encompasses all the Divine, both within the world and beyond it, then you have pastoral
and theological responsibilities which include being able to communicate about who and
what you are and do, not an easy thing. And there are perfectly good words already out there that can be used to meet our needs. Refusing to use them because other religions already have leaves us in a muddle trying to find language to make us understandable. It's hard enough to be a mystery cult, where words fail us often simply because of the nature of our experience; to not use what is available to us is just silly.
So 'sacrament;' what does it mean? According to Meriam-Webster's Online
Dictionary (http://meriamwebster.com/) the word 'sacrament' comes from Latin's sacrare, a verb which means to consecrate or make holy. We consecrate our tools. When we initiate, we consecrate ourselves. We are making our tools, and ourselves, holy and dedicated to the use of the Gods.
What many Pagans do not realize is that when we are taking oath to “suffer to
learn,” we are consecrating our joy, our suffering, our living, and our dying, all for the
use of the Gods as they see fit.
In some versions of the Charge of The God, it clearly states that “All Acts of
Willing Sacrifice Are My Rituals.” Many priests, and priestesses too, do not realize that
“Love and Pleasure” are not the only rituals sacred to the Gods. We must balance love and pleasure with “Willing Sacrifice.” We must not cling only to ecstatic joy and the making of life. We must embrace death and dance with it.
These same folks who do not realize the meaning of the oaths they take will celebrate the Lord's Rituals (in particular the Sabbats of Harvest), and never really think about what it means to suffer and die as a sacrament. Or if they do, they think of it as the God's job, and not something that humans really have to worry about. So what is dying as a sacrament, and why do we have to do it as part of a mandate of our priesthood?
We live, and die, as a way of making our own bodies, our own suffering, our joy,
our sex, our trips to the bathroom, our trips to the doctor, our trips to eat out or celebrate,
our every movement (whether it hurts or not), and our own love and the living with
fullness of life itself, as a gift to those around us and to the Gods. That is, as a “Willing
Sacrifice.” That is sacrament. That is to make our primary "tool" (ourselves) sacred and holy.
As the priests and priestesses of our religion, it is our job to bring the sacrament, the holy, the consecrated, the every-day, to those we serve -- and I mean not only the Gods, but those who surround us in our every day lives (whether in the context of the Pagan world or the "mundane" one.) It is what we are all about. We must carry our suffering to our congregants even as we carry our joy, or we do not represent the sacrament of Life in its fullness. If we do not present the whole, we are sadly kidding our congregants, and kidding ourselves. And that goes to both the priests and the priestesses out there.
Okay, I can hear the objections now from some of the priestesses--especially those who've been working their butts off for years trying to make ends meet with their groups. "We're already overworked doing what we're doing. I really don't want people getting into my private business anyway. This talk of sacrament is all very well, but we're not priests, we're priestesses. It's hard enough doing our own jobs, let alone the priests'. So we don't really have to understand that whole "willing sacrifice" thing, or use it, other than to teach our male students to do it. It's their (the priests') job to ritualize it, because it's in the God's realm. I have enough to do 'Drawing Down The Moon.' Besides, if the priests were doing what they were supposed to be doing, we wouldn't have to even worry about it!" (I've actually heard this or I wouldn't bring it up!)
And I ask you, how many of you are doing both a priest's and priestess' jobs already because you have to? Is it because you don't have enough “men of rank” to “do it properly?” Or is it because you just have had so little experience working with masculine energies that you don’t know how? Or better yet, and this goes for priests and priestesses alike--how many of you, even if you do have both genders of rank in your group, or a working partner of some experience, have the balance of the worship of your God within yourself even as you have the worship of your Goddess? Or vice versa? Do you truly hold both in equal splendor, equal might, and equal understanding?
Wicca, and Paganism in general, while matrifocal, have gotten a bad reputation for being sexist, and sometimes they are. What is known as the “Neo-Pagan Movement” started in the U.S. in part, in reaction against patriarchal fundamentalist religions that are inherent in our culture and history. It's natural to want to restore balance over the long term by that reaction.
Yet we preach that dynamic balance is all, and necessary to reach the upper levels of mystery revelation. We preach that this is necessary for individuals as well as for the culture as a whole. This also goes for our covens, groves and circles. And I ask, are we truly balanced? Are we? And can we truly claim that balance if we only live in one hemisphere of the experience of life?
Both priests and priestesses must be balanced in and of themselves to function
fully as clergy in a healthy way. That's what reaching those “upper levels” of initiation is
partly about - a recognition that you carry both God and Goddess, in dynamic balance,
within the self, and that you can access the power of the Lord and Lady's Great Rite at any time at need. It may also mean you have experience, wisdom, good sense, and have learned all your P's and Q's, but it also has to mean that you “get it,” or it just doesn't fly.
Are you balanced if you balk at death and things unsavory? Do you make hospital visits when your congregants are hooked up to things that are gross, or freak you out? Or do you avoid these folks and send a nice card? Are you balanced if you balk at things either male or female because of your own personal issues? Do you stick to those of the same sexual orientation as yourself or worship either the Goddess or the God singly but not the other? Are you balanced if you balk at things light, springy, and “fluff bunny” and like to stay in dark places with dark people? (I myself balk at the latter, so I know my own imbalance there intimately!)
In order to maintain a 'sacramental' priesthood, you must dedicate
every action you take, every thought you have, everything you voice, and every prayer you make to the Divine. And you must not forget, if you have taken those oaths, that those actions, thoughts, words, and prayers are heard by the Divine as such, and acted upon as such, whether you are thinking about it or not.
No pressure!
Makes you think, huh? What about the poor girl you snapped at last week
because you were in a bad mood? What about the thing you repeated because it was a
good story, but really shouldn't have been repeated all the same? What about that
moment when you realized that you hate hurting, or wish your doctor would fall into a
ravine, or your insurance company would get a clue? What about that white lie? Or the promise you failed to keep?
Is your God or Goddess ever angry or hurt? Do they ever suffer or crab? Are they always sweet and pleasant? Or are they never sweet and pleasant? Are they always angry or hurt, or always in a lousy mood? Do you really know them intimately enough to know “both” (or more) sides of their personalities? Or do you stick to the deities who make you feel most comfortable and ignore the rest of the pantheon(s)?
Perhaps we anthropomorphize our Gods too much. We've made them too human.
Perhaps we haven't made them human enough. Perhaps we need to get to know them
better: as friends, masters, lovers, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, partners, guides,
saviors, and fellow priests. Perhaps we need to remember that we are ourselves, head
and heart ands hands, our true tool - and that when we consecrate ourselves, we must
remember that our "blade" must, as an athame's must, cut both ways.
Perhaps we need to remember that in life, “S**t Happens,” and get on with the process of making fertilizer out of it!
Live and live fully. Die and die well. Make everything in between worth
remembering. But remember to make it a sacrament. Remember to make it worth it to your Gods. That is what it means to be a true "human sacrifice," to give of everything you are, both good and bad, positive and negative, joyful and suffering, and to do it with true willingness and love in your heart!
***
... was successfully submitted to Witches' Voice today. My query letter from yesterday was heartily welcomed and I submitted in their preferred format just a few moments ago. We'll see how it goes. Fingers and toes crossed?
Then I got excited and finished an article I started last November on stewardship, titled, of course, ... ...
Stewardship: Is It A Dirty Word?
by Eleanore of Moon's Inkwell (c)2006 Lucy Mogensen
As Pagans, we make a point of avoiding issues of money in relation to our religion. We generally, when forced to do so, define “stewardship” as a process of taking care of the planet (which it is), and forget that taking care of ourselves, each other, and yes, the planet, costs money.
Stewardship is defined, by Meriam-Webster Online (http://meriamwebster.com/) as “the office, duties, and obligations of a steward,” and “the conducting, supervising, or managing of something; especially : the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care, as in the stewardship of our natural resources.” (Italics not mine.)
That’s a definition that most of us can work with without difficulty. But then, it’s not just our natural resources that must be husbanded carefully, but our human-created resources as well, and there’s nothing bigger out there that’s human-created than money. Not even trash. And believe me, if you recycle stubbornly, you ought to at least think about where your money goes!
Stewardship is also an action of faith--not just a way of picking up after everyone. It demands that you make a conscious and deliberate action of giving -- and that is to give from the heart to the Gods for them to use what you give as they will. You give of your time, your heart, your life, your belongings and home, and yes, your cash. I have a friend who used to say “The Craft doesn’t pay for broken windows.” I believe it should, at least if they get broken in the service of the Gods!
Unfortunately, “stewardship” as a term is frequently associated with Christian finances, both positive and negative, and thus has become a subject avoided as anathema by Pagans. But what many of us don't really realize, and those who do realize don't emphasize, is that is that you must, as a person of faith, put your money, your hard work, your other resources, and frankly, whatever energy you have, where your mouth is.
The truth is that our Elders end up paying for pretty much everything out of their own pockets. Did you go to a festival? Someone bought the groceries for main feast and whatever meals were provided for you. Did you have to rent a site? Someone paid that bill! Did you use toilet paper, or other paper products such as towels, napkins, plates, or plastic items? Someone paid for them, and someone cleaned up after you if you didn’t do it for yourself. In your weekly or monthly meetings, do you have a potluck with your group? How often does your High Priest and/or Priestess, or those who host the event, provide the main dish, or even all the food or drink? Do you forget your offerings? Or bring token small things that really aren’t any sacrifice at all? Or do you even think about it?
Our world is hungry for what we can provide. We are one of the fastest growing religions in the United States today (if you lump all various types and kinds of Neo-Pagans and Heathens together to count us), and we are impacting our society in ways that many of us are unaware of. Look around you sometime.
Go to the mall just to see what people are wearing. Go to your bookstore and look at the shelves. Listen to the radio and figure our how many bands (major label or minor) are Pagan. Watch movies and television and tell me that there aren’t liberal and Pagan themes worked into a lot of what your see. Tell me how many pentacles, ankhs, and Thor’s hammers are subtly attached to people’s necks, clothing, and fingers.
Look especially at the young, the upcoming adults who will be making the major decisions in our culture in the next ten or twenty years. For many of them, it's not "just a phase" they are going through, as others may think. These young adults will be shaping the world we retire in, and we are their examples to follow!
Our presence may be subtle in the general culture, yes, but it is still palpably there. What we provide as a spiritual path is an acceptance of a wide variety of beliefs and faiths, an acceptance of individual needs, and a community in which those individual paths can be explored.
We provide a window into the mystical and the mythical, the depth and power of the God/ess(es) and we do it all without ever knocking on a door or asking if anyone has found the Goddess yet. People need that, and we provide that. In fact, I think I’ve (attempted) to warn more people away from the Craft than I’ve ever accepted as students or congregants - yet still they come, and still they ask, and still they hunger!
And every bit of this costs money, energy, hard work, and the donations of food, clothing, fire wood, sites, publishing materials, books, and other items.
It makes me want to sigh. I wish for the “good old days” when we cared for those who cared for us without even thinking about it--those days when we brought gifts to those who rode the spirit winds and walked between the worlds for us. Ah, we think, those were the days when we understood the personal and financial cost of being one of “The Wise!”
Of course, those “old days,” are really a romanticized fiction, and never really happened. And, also, folks do still bring pot-luck items and leave the leftovers, or help with the yard, or the house, or help prepare for group events one person is incapable of preparing for by themselves. So I really have nothing to complain about do I?
I think, then, those other costs really can't be so much, can they? I look at my amazing grocery bill and realize I'm spending too much, of course, but I just can’t really stop bearing forth what I think of as sacred hospitality and celebrating the bounty of the Gods when it's key to my religious understanding, even if it takes up way too much of my monthly budget!
When I say in Circle, “never hunger and never thirst,” I mean it! But what happens if it depletes mine and my family’s resources to do that?
I hear my peers, and my congregants, complain about the cost of food for a cookout, or a festival, the water or electricity for a mini-gathering in someone’s back yard, the fees for a professionally maintained site if it’s a larger event-- even when their own comparative contribution has been small. I’ve even heard one or two say they got away from Christianity so they wouldn’t have to make pledges and give offerings!
I understand where they are coming from. But nevertheless, I also see a need, and a need that isn’t being met by a majority of our practitioners.
I see what these folks bring, too, when they attend events. Often, the offerings they make are small or token, and never really even begin to enter the realm of sacred sacrifice, let alone reasonable accommodation! Now, I can accept that there are definitely religious groups out there, of one type or another, that are constantly begging for money, and using it for more than covering the bills. On the other hand, churches must have budgets to operate, and the priest(s) can’t be the only ones to contribute to the kitty.
There must be a way to deal with supply and site issues, the cost of study materials, paper and printing supplies, teaching tools, and other items, without either becoming abusive and "charging" for The Craft or failing to meet religious need when someone is unable to contribute!
It is important to always remember not to deny what you provide as clergy to someone if they don't have the resources to share with the group, or are in a place where they are in need. The point of this article is not to drag the grubby dimes out of the empty pockets. Healthy stewardship can always be expressed through hard work or participation in group events! But if you have it, then why isn’t a reasonable amount of it not flowing into the Craft, and why are so many offended if asked to contribute what they can?
Whether you are one who regularly is able to provide for others without harm to you or yourself, or whether you scrape by on a daily basis, please never exclude someone because they cannot contribute, and please never excuse yourself from helping where you can.
Whether we like it or not, we are church. That is what we do and what we are. We are church in our homes, in the woods, at state parks, in caves, in fields of green - but still we are church. Church does not mean a building. We are a body of religious believers, meeting in small cell groups, but a body nonetheless, and we must take responsibility for what that means.
The Craft is “growing up.” We are no longer a fledgling, reactionary group of individuals, nor are we gathered together in tiny, secretive, socially outcast groups in the depths of night. At least, most of us aren't, unless we choose to be. We are now a publicly accessible and open association of groups and individuals who are a religion, with buildings, land, websites, houses, site fees, electric bills, plumbing problems, libraries, publishers and deadlines, and the need for new roofs on occasion.
It is incumbent on all of us, and not only our clergy, to help meet the cost - in labor, in supplies, and yes, in dollars - of these things, or we will not be able to function. We are way past the point when a single clergy member should be spending anywhere from $200 to $3,000 on a given event (or far more) while others just show up, have fun, and leave someone else to do the dishes, with maybe a six-pack or a sack of potatoes in hand. Don't get me wrong -- the six-pack and potatoes are lovely, and we couldn't get by without them, but do they really cover the need?
What are we, as modern Pagans, going to do about it? I know how other groups have done it (such as different types of worship communities in other religions), but we must find a way that works for us. Some groups have pledges or dues, and use those funds for group needs. Others take up donations when the need is great. But still, the few who take the Craft as their life and practice as Clergy are the ones who foot most of the bill, and frankly, if that continues, we simply will not survive.
We cannot pride ourselves on having unpaid Clergy who willingly answer the call without recompense from the community, and still expect them to provide us with all of our needs -both physical and spiritual-- without ever chipping in!
Please remember next time you see a need you can fill, that those who give are ever more blessed, and are those who can and will receive with joy in their hearts. Choose a group, clergy member, or charity that you believe will use the funds with discretion, and give with your heart! You won't be sorry you did!
***
... which has been submitted elsewhere. I've worked on the book, too. Hoping against all hopes that this is not just a "manic" phase and that I'll be able to rest and pace myself. So far, so good. I write for a few hours, and sleep for a few hours, and don't worry at all about the time of day. It works out all right -- though I've pretty much just camped out on the living room couch. :-)
Bought a really cheap ottoman today (the byzantines were all gone) so I can keep my poor swollen feet up while I write. I tried sitting on the couch the "long way" and putting the laptop either in my lap or on my lovely slanting table, but neither got me the right angle for my wrists. Now I can sit on the couch the normal way, still keep my feet up, tuck myself in with pillows to hold up my back, and go to town typing. I knew there was a reason I took that dumb (read: annoying) class!