Let the Good Times Roll
Maybe not everyone will remember this, but remember back in the day when toys kicked ass? I swear I just barely was in that time period because toys these days and for a little while now, have totally sucked balls. Part of this is because kids these days are stupid fucktards.
One of the sweetest toys I ever had as a kid was a damned big cardboard box. I wished my parents bought more large one piece desks so I'd have MORE big cardboard boxes. That was the shit.
I made a damned submarine out of cardboard boxes... I could go INSIDE it. I kicked some Japanese Imperial Navy-ass all over the South Pacific in '43-'45. Childhood imagination is bitchin'. That's why kids these days are fucktards. No imagination. Why make a submarine out of cardboard boxes and do anything and everything you could ever want to do with it in your mind when you can buy some shitty $50 video game that limits what you can do? Oh yeah, because you're stupid. I forgot. Dipshit.
As for toys that weren't "make all your own fun", Ninja Turtles were definitely ass-kickers back in the day. Now you get like "Fashion Show Michaelangelo" or "Scuba-Diving Splinter" or dumbass shit like that. What the fuck? What about "I'm Gonna Kick Some Bad Guy Ass Cause I Have Two Fucking Swords Bitches Leonardo"? Or maybe "Bash Your Dumbass Face In With My Big-Ass Stick Donatello"?
Some G.I. Joe's were cool too. I never got the point of the big foot tall ones or whatever.. They were more collector's items, I guess. What's the fucking point of owning an action figure IF THERE'S NO ACTION? But I digress. Some of those G.I. Joe toys kicked ass. My favorite one was this big F-14 I had that you could put two guys in. To hell with the figures, I just ran around with the plane. It had missiles and everything. Can you buy stuff like that nowadays? Maybe. Fuck if I know. I just wanted to write about something and this popped up; this thesis of mine might not even be true. But again, this is Live Journal, and I can say whatever I want and not have to back it up. It's my journal, and I can lie if I want to. Well, not really lie, since I don't know if it's true or not. So make potentially false statements without evidence to support them. But I'm right because I say so. Absolute power, baby!
Oh yeah, and toy guns. Those have suffered the most of all the toys. Now you can't buy a toy gun that looks remotely real (This I have looked for). I mean, sure it's safer; a cop probably won't shoot a kid with an obviously fake looking toy gun. probably. But now those of us who want to play with realistic looking weapons have to play with real guns. Now how safe is that? Not very, I don't think. The only other option, really, is to buy airsoft guns, or similar products...generally manufactured in Asian countries, they look pretty real except for a nice orange tip, which can be fixed with some black paint. However, anyone who takes this suggestion, be sure not to be a stupid cockbite and wave it around someone who has a real gun. Because they'll shoot you and then these imported toys that already cost too much will be censored and won't be an option either. And then we'll all have to play with real guns. And people are already idiots when it comes to those, so then we'll have even stricter gun laws and soon we'll be reduced to playing with fucking squirt guns. Don't get me wrong, squirt gun fights are mad-fun, but sometimes you just need realistic-looking toys.
And getting back to "make your own fun" toys, I found a girl's hairclip at the Red Robin the other day. I'd never actually 'used' (messed with) such a device and it had to be explained to me. As a hairclip, whatever. But it makes a sweet catapult for light objects. We were using sugar packets. I bet with some practice, we could probably launch one to the next table. Maybe even into a drink, if we got the accuracy pinned down. How sweet would that be?
I bet not one kid could come up with that way of using a hairclip. No thinking outside the box these days. Morons.
One of the sweetest toys I ever had as a kid was a damned big cardboard box. I wished my parents bought more large one piece desks so I'd have MORE big cardboard boxes. That was the shit.
I made a damned submarine out of cardboard boxes... I could go INSIDE it. I kicked some Japanese Imperial Navy-ass all over the South Pacific in '43-'45. Childhood imagination is bitchin'. That's why kids these days are fucktards. No imagination. Why make a submarine out of cardboard boxes and do anything and everything you could ever want to do with it in your mind when you can buy some shitty $50 video game that limits what you can do? Oh yeah, because you're stupid. I forgot. Dipshit.
As for toys that weren't "make all your own fun", Ninja Turtles were definitely ass-kickers back in the day. Now you get like "Fashion Show Michaelangelo" or "Scuba-Diving Splinter" or dumbass shit like that. What the fuck? What about "I'm Gonna Kick Some Bad Guy Ass Cause I Have Two Fucking Swords Bitches Leonardo"? Or maybe "Bash Your Dumbass Face In With My Big-Ass Stick Donatello"?
Some G.I. Joe's were cool too. I never got the point of the big foot tall ones or whatever.. They were more collector's items, I guess. What's the fucking point of owning an action figure IF THERE'S NO ACTION? But I digress. Some of those G.I. Joe toys kicked ass. My favorite one was this big F-14 I had that you could put two guys in. To hell with the figures, I just ran around with the plane. It had missiles and everything. Can you buy stuff like that nowadays? Maybe. Fuck if I know. I just wanted to write about something and this popped up; this thesis of mine might not even be true. But again, this is Live Journal, and I can say whatever I want and not have to back it up. It's my journal, and I can lie if I want to. Well, not really lie, since I don't know if it's true or not. So make potentially false statements without evidence to support them. But I'm right because I say so. Absolute power, baby!
Oh yeah, and toy guns. Those have suffered the most of all the toys. Now you can't buy a toy gun that looks remotely real (This I have looked for). I mean, sure it's safer; a cop probably won't shoot a kid with an obviously fake looking toy gun. probably. But now those of us who want to play with realistic looking weapons have to play with real guns. Now how safe is that? Not very, I don't think. The only other option, really, is to buy airsoft guns, or similar products...generally manufactured in Asian countries, they look pretty real except for a nice orange tip, which can be fixed with some black paint. However, anyone who takes this suggestion, be sure not to be a stupid cockbite and wave it around someone who has a real gun. Because they'll shoot you and then these imported toys that already cost too much will be censored and won't be an option either. And then we'll all have to play with real guns. And people are already idiots when it comes to those, so then we'll have even stricter gun laws and soon we'll be reduced to playing with fucking squirt guns. Don't get me wrong, squirt gun fights are mad-fun, but sometimes you just need realistic-looking toys.
And getting back to "make your own fun" toys, I found a girl's hairclip at the Red Robin the other day. I'd never actually 'used' (messed with) such a device and it had to be explained to me. As a hairclip, whatever. But it makes a sweet catapult for light objects. We were using sugar packets. I bet with some practice, we could probably launch one to the next table. Maybe even into a drink, if we got the accuracy pinned down. How sweet would that be?
I bet not one kid could come up with that way of using a hairclip. No thinking outside the box these days. Morons.