Dark musings - while on the road
I feel as if I am running away from a life that gives out millions of temporary happiness sample packages of all the same content, only to find that the gift within is so tiny that the effect wares off instantly leaving the anxious wait for the next one in a repeating loop that never ends. One of the main reasons to this galavanting travelling is to stop the frustration, end the repeatition. Do something that has its standard highs and lows but with pure reality, nothing gift wrapped and scented or hidden within layers and layers of shit. See everything different, because it all is different; completely new images every day for the eyes and brain to process. Experience pain but know that the pain is real and new and not covered over by a express delivery of temporary happiness, which in my mind the true exhaustion pain during travelling is better than being conditioned to the avalanche of unnatural and undeserved sheets of unreality. The lasting pain has conditioned myself to experience happiness with the pain numbed, there is no need for the happiness to go away when the feeling of pain is natural and conditioned.
The walls I build for myself prevent the temporary happiness from arriving, preventing the redundent repeatative data loop. If you're one of those folks who have told me to just 'relax' during gatherings, sometimes I cant relax because I do not ignore the voice in my head that tells me we are too lucky and indulge with everything in our pathes without thinking about the repercussions. The wasteful lifestyles, useless words, plastic packaged everything, ego upon ego upon ego with no real thought into others. The one loud voice during gatherings that limits most other conversation, eyes on the charisma, nothing gained. Some people require others to let them know they exist at all times, are they afraid of being truely alone? or do they need confirmation that they are the only thing that matters? a distraction from what is going on in the real world.
Ghandi once said that 'true happiness is when what we think, what we say and what we do are one'. In order to chase the temporary happiness, one is never truely happy; or true to themselves, for that matter. To not think about the effect from the cause of an action, is to not think at all; an act of either the insanely stupid, or the mentally insane. Most people are not this way, although the distractions blind them from knowing the truth. Either way, they will never be truely happy.
The walls I build for myself prevent the temporary happiness from arriving, preventing the redundent repeatative data loop. If you're one of those folks who have told me to just 'relax' during gatherings, sometimes I cant relax because I do not ignore the voice in my head that tells me we are too lucky and indulge with everything in our pathes without thinking about the repercussions. The wasteful lifestyles, useless words, plastic packaged everything, ego upon ego upon ego with no real thought into others. The one loud voice during gatherings that limits most other conversation, eyes on the charisma, nothing gained. Some people require others to let them know they exist at all times, are they afraid of being truely alone? or do they need confirmation that they are the only thing that matters? a distraction from what is going on in the real world.
Ghandi once said that 'true happiness is when what we think, what we say and what we do are one'. In order to chase the temporary happiness, one is never truely happy; or true to themselves, for that matter. To not think about the effect from the cause of an action, is to not think at all; an act of either the insanely stupid, or the mentally insane. Most people are not this way, although the distractions blind them from knowing the truth. Either way, they will never be truely happy.