Help! To all of my peeps - non horsey and horsey
So - most of you know my background - how I love horses but was horrifically injured about 12 years ago. There is no need to get into it but suffice it to say, by the grace of God and some miracle workers at ShockTrauma, I am here today. Tomorrow - for the first time since I was hurt, I'm going riding. It is my kid's wish to have a birthday ride with her girlfriends. A trail ride with five girls ages 9 to 12, me, the guide and my oldest daughter. (Who I SWEAR is going to be my support system) I called the lady who runs the farm and filled her in briefly- just because she should know. She says that she's helped folks in the past do this. She's giving me a packer named "Ego" - a quarter horse gelding who lets four year olds ride him.:) I explained how this has to be a good experience for my kid - God, I don't want to freak her out. My daughter knows my story and I've helped her on a few riding lessons from the ground but stepping into the saddle again? Not so much. Still, why am I shaking and crying today? I need this guys. Like I needed to walk in a barn three years ago and volunteer. I thought I would die. I walked into the barn hyperventilating. Shaking to my core. The very thing that used to be my solace and happy place was twisted inside somehow. The smell of hay, horses, and manure. The sweep of the barn swallows, the soft nicker of welcome. It was like I was being kicked in belly or the balls I guess, if I had balls.
But sometimes you just have to face your fears.
So I did. I walked up and down the barn by myself for about a half hour. Talking to the horses, stroking a velvety nose - forcing myself to realize I was safe.
Then I volunteered. Most of my time has been spent mucking stalls, but I do some feeding and turnout too. Which is a huge HUGE step for me.
I haven't been there since I started my new job - I've been so busy but now? Now I'm going to ride.
So keep me in your thoughts guys.
Say a little prayer to whomever you pray to. If you aren't the spiritual type, just take a moment to send me some good vibes. I'm gonna need all the positive thoughts for tomorrow I can take.
Thanks.
~Deb
But sometimes you just have to face your fears.
So I did. I walked up and down the barn by myself for about a half hour. Talking to the horses, stroking a velvety nose - forcing myself to realize I was safe.
Then I volunteered. Most of my time has been spent mucking stalls, but I do some feeding and turnout too. Which is a huge HUGE step for me.
I haven't been there since I started my new job - I've been so busy but now? Now I'm going to ride.
So keep me in your thoughts guys.
Say a little prayer to whomever you pray to. If you aren't the spiritual type, just take a moment to send me some good vibes. I'm gonna need all the positive thoughts for tomorrow I can take.
Thanks.
~Deb