Fic: Breaking Orbit | STXI | Joanna McCoy, others | R | 4/6
Title: Breaking Orbit: IV. Gaining Altitude
Author: saavikam77
Artist: team_fen
Fanmixer: bonesofyou
Beta Reader: acroamatica
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Character/Pairing(s): Joanna McCoy, with Jim Kirk/Leonard McCoy, Jocelyn Treadway, Gaila(/Scotty), Chris Pike, Spock, Winona Kirk, Sulu(/Chekov), and an OC (Teva) all in supporting roles
Rating: (this chapter) R (for language)
Word Count: (this chapter) 5,568
Summary: Joanna McCoy has big plans for herself, and she isn't about to let anyone hold her back. She'll do things her way, even if it means breaking the rules and burning bridges behind her. Five times Joanna ran away, and one time she didn't.
Chapter Summary: Age 19. After a last minute change in her summer vacation plans, Jo has a startling revelation about her life's choices.
Disclaimer: Paramount and CBS own everything but Teva (she's all mine!). I'm making no money off this story. Darnit!
Master Post | Next Chapter
IV. Gaining Altitude
Jo couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much trouble packing for a trip. Certainly not any time she went to visit her Daddy and Jim, and hell, not even all those times she'd picked up and run. But this time... this time was different. She had no clue what to take with her to go visit her Momma on her two-week break. Yeah, it was gonna be hot as hell in Georgia, which should've made things easy, but what if Momma wanted to try to take her to church? Or worse yet, to visit Clay's family? Ugh, she couldn't even stomach the idea.
“You appear to be in distress. Is something wrong?”
Looking up from the armload of clothes she'd dumped on the bed, Joanna set her hands on her hips and blew a rogue lock of hair away from her face. Her roommate was well-meaning, sure, but Teva was still a little clueless about human emotional displays. Those three years spent on New Vulcan at the exchange school after her rescue from a remote outpost had cooled her Romulan blood nearly to green ice, skipping over the middle ground altogether, though it was probably for the better in her case.
“Nah,” she finally replied. “It's just... I haven't been to see Momma in... God, five years. Not since, well, since my Daddy got me the heck outta' there. I haven't even seen where she moved back to after she quit the Diplomatic Corps.” Truth was, she hadn't spoken one word to the woman in almost all of those five years, until her Momma had called her several weeks ago and invited her down. It was downright distressing, just thinking about it.
Teva raised a slanted eyebrow at her and folded her hands in her lap. Sitting cross-legged on her bed in Academy-issue pajamas with a study-PADD momentarily discarded, she regarded Joanna carefully. “There isn't any shame in being nervous, Jo. I certainly would be if I were to return to the environment I was reared in.”
“Heh. I suppose that's a given.” Dropping down onto her own bed facing her roommate, she shoved the pile of clothes away and ran her hands through her hair properly. “I just feel like I'm a little old to be this wound up over seein' my Momma, of all people, you know? I ain't had to answer to her for a damned thing in a long time, and I sure as hell don't have to put up with her crap anymore.”
“I doubt there's an appropriate age to have negative feelings concerning past wrongs,” the other girl offered. Averting her gaze, she went on, “I know you didn't know me then, but... I didn't deal well with the transition to Vulcan teachings. Even after everything that was done on my behalf. Learning control, when I had none, and nothing good to look back on and an uncertain future, was trying at best. I was 'wound up' for quite a long time.”
It wasn't a subject they talked about much, left alone by silent agreement along with Jo's childhood, so it was a rare day Joanna got to see the other side of her friend. This was the side that was still a scared little girl being held in a breeding camp on a lonely Romulan outpost once called Hellguard. And it was the side that had been forcibly impregnated at fifteen and then separated from her half-Vulcan daughter just minutes after her birth.
Not a happy past, by any stretch of the imagination, and astronomically worse than anything Jo had ever endured.
“Sorry,” Jo murmured into the uneasy silence that had fallen over their room. “Guess I let myself get carried away.”
Teva looked at her more strongly then. “Not at all. As I said, there is no shame in it. I only guard myself so closely because if I didn't, the result would be quite undesirable.”
“Yeah... I know. And I'm still sorry,” Joanna said, heaving herself back up to try to really sort through her clothes. “Maybe I'll just pack for travel and summer weather, and if Momma has a problem with it, she can take it up with my middle finger.”
“I don't understand.”
Jo glanced up from her sorting and smirked. “It's a rude gesture. You've got to have seen it.”
Her roommate's eyebrow climbed again. “I don't believe so.”
“Means 'fuck you', or 'go fuck yourself',” Joanna demonstrated, one finger extended. “Basically a crude way of telling someone to leave you the heck alone.”
“Ah. I see.”
“Yeah. It ain't pretty. And Momma doesn't exactly deserve the special treatment. It's bad enough I promised to go see her.”
After a long moment of silence briefly punctuated by the rustle of clothes being shoved into Joanna's Starfleet-issue duffel and the tap of a stylus against a PADD, Teva spoke up again. “I don't believe it is necessary to visit your mother, if you don't want to.”
Jo chewed on that for a bit, folding a pair of jeans and tucking them into her duffel alongside a spare hoodie jacket, then said, “Yeah, I do.” She hated like hell to admit it, but she really did. “I owe her that much.”
“I hardly think you owe her for imprisoning you on a diplomatic transport for two years.”
“She's still my Momma, no matter what she's done or said. She gave me life, so... I owe her.”
At that, a heavier sense of doom and regret fell over the small room, Jo realizing after a moment just what she'd said; her roommate's guilt over leaving her daughter on New Vulcan after finally being reunited was deep, if not exactly easy to see on the surface.
“Teva, I'm―”
“Don't,” her roommate warned quietly. “I know you're sorry, Jo. And I know your relationship with your mother is unique to your situation. Even if I can't be a mother to my own daughter now, I have every intention of providing for both her physical and psychological needs in the future. I could never blame you for the way you feel. It's a logical conclusion.”
Joanna zipped the duffel closed at last and chucked it to the floor, then returned a faint smile. “Okay.”
“And still, I don't believe you should go if it's this difficult for you.” But at Jo's sour look, she amended, “Alternatively, you could prepare an itinerary to serve as a back-up plan, in the event your visit does not go as you hope.”
A broader smile moved over Jo's face at the suggestion, the knot of anxiety in her gut finally loosening, and she grabbed up a PADD from her desk before plopping down on her bed to get to work.
“You are the best roommate ever, Teva,” she grinned.
“Likewise, Joanna. Very much likewise.”
~*~*~*~
That little kick of weightlessness before the gravity generators switched on never really seemed to bother Joanna anymore. Except for today. Gripping the armrests tightly, she fought the sudden surge of nausea that hit her, a scowl firmly in place.
Damn, she'd thought she'd outgrown this shit with all that anti-grav training in her first year at the Academy. Twenty-two hours spent in zero-G, and it hadn't done her one bit of real tangible good.
But no one needed to know. If she could just swallow the nausea down and keep her breakfast in her stomach, she'd be all right. No need to change, no sudden trips to the tiny bathroom of the shuttle, no being compared to Daddy. Again.
No. She was a grown woman, dammit! She could do this. She could keep her cool. She could make it to Momma's without incident. She could deal with anything her Momma had to say. She―
Trouble-maker. Good-for-nothing, arrogant wimp. Disloyal little bitch.
Aw, hell.
If going to visit her Momma was twisting her up this bad, then why bother? Maybe Teva had been right. Really right. Why dredge all this old shit up when she'd been doing so well? It just wasn't worth it. Jo hadn't been nauseous in zero-G in years, hadn't been so... so... messed up over anything since trying to get into the Academy at seventeen, and since ditching Momma on Altair VI before that. Even her most stressful exams couldn't compare to this.
Fishing her cell out of her duffel, Jo pulled up her alternate itinerary. With a thirty-minute layover in St. Louis, she'd have just enough time to haul ass and hop the shuttle to Des Moines. A few taps on the small screen, and her next flight was confirmed. Now, to rip off the band-aid and get the hard part over with.
Jo brought up her Momma's new number in Augusta, her heart hammering in her chest. Now or never.
One tap of her index finger, and the call was sent.
Two rings, three.
Click. “Joanna?”
Damn, she was almost hoping to get her Momma's voicemail.
“Um, hi, Momma.”
Her Momma sighed heavily from the other end of the call. “You're not coming, are you?” she bit out.
Jo wanted to crawl under a rock. “Sorry, Momma.” Except she really wasn't all that sorry. “Some... things came up here, and I can't get away. Got make-up exams and all.”
“Well, can't say as I'm surprised. I was really―” she broke off for a short moment, then, “I just wanted to see you. It's been too long.”
“Yeah, well, you coulda' thought about that when I graduated from the Junior Academy.”
“I was eighty-five light years away, Joanna!” her Momma shot back defensively.
“Didn't stop Daddy and Jim from comin'.”
“That isn't fair.”
“Oh, I think it is. You reap what you sow, Momma.”
The line was silent for a long moment, then her Momma ground out, “I guess the apple didn't fall far from the damn tree, did it?”
Heat climbing up her cheeks, Jo scowled, then spat back, “You know what? Forget it. I don't need this. Bye, Momma.”
“That's right, you just run, like always, just like your―”
Her guts twisted up into pretzels, Jo cut the call before her Momma could finish and shoved her cell back into her duffel. To hell with her Momma, she had someone better to visit.
~*~*~*~
Dust kicking up behind her, Jo laughed into the warm summer wind and revved up the throttle on her rented bike. Man, Daddy Jim had been right about the roads out here in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere Iowa. Straight as an arrow with just enough traction to keep you on the ground.
He'd probably regret ever telling her that.
Well, he'd regret it just as soon as he found out she'd skipped off of her scheduled trip to go visit Grandma Kirk instead. And Jo figured that'd take about a half-hour after she got to the old homestead, which was already coming up over the horizon, the sprawling one-story farmhouse tucked beneath a few broad trees in the middle of nothing else but fields and a few outbuildings.
Another burst of speed to cross that rapidly shrinking distance, and she pulled the bike up in the driveway, revved the engine just once to give a little warning, and cut it off.
As hoped, the old screen door on the house creaked open just as she unhooked her duffel from the back of the bike, her helmet secured in its place.
“Joanna! My God, what on Earth are you doing here?” Grandma Kirk cried out happily, the look on her face totally worth the alternate travel plans, her jaw dropped open and eyes practically bugging out beneath her gray hair falling from a loose ponytail.
Bounding up the steps, Jo shook out her own hair, glad to be free of her regulation braid for a whole two weeks, and greeted the older woman with a tight hug. “Change in summer plans. I was supposed to go visit Momma and Clay,” she explained, her other step-father's name bitter on her tongue, “but I'd rather spend my two weeks here, assuming you'll have me.” Not that she was worried, having spent most of her infrequent Academy breaks and holidays here for the better part of five years, an arrangement worked out thanks to Daddy Jim after Jo had come back to Earth to go to school, but she couldn't resist the little teasing remark.
Grandma Kirk pulled back from the hug, scoffing back playfully. “You know you're always welcome here, Jo. You'd think the last few Christmases would tell you that.” Gesturing toward the driveway then, she smirked, “And what is that, exactly?”
Jo couldn't hide a grin and a little blush as her Grandma ushered her into the house. “It's a Yamaha XF-370 Quad-Cell Magna-Grav. Nothin' fancy, but still pretty kickin'. I rented it at the shuttle port.”
“Definitely my son's influence, then,” her Grandma nodded, leading the way back down the hall toward the kitchen. “You have the proper license for that, I assume.”
“Yes, ma'am. Been riding an older model back in San Francisco since February. And before you ask, yes, Daddy and Jim both know, and have repeatedly warned me of the dangers of riding.”
The older woman laughed at the unashamed assertion. “Jim told me about that. He was so repentant for everything he'd ever pulled on me with the bike he used to have, it was hilarious. And since you're more-or-less grown, he was completely at a loss for anything to say to dissuade you from it.”
“Not much they could probably say to dissuade me from anything,” Jo added. “Ever.”
“No doubt. You drink coffee yet? I've got some on,” Grandma Kirk asked as her step-granddaughter dropped her duffel inside the kitchen entryway and took a seat at the worn table.
“With my course load? I'd say that's a given,” Joanna answered, taking in the room. With the refrigerator handle cracked down the middle, the corners of the cabinet doors chipped and worn, and the old-fashioned coffee maker still in use, it was all the same as it had been last Christmas, and the summer before that, and the Christmas before that, and so on, the kitchen that time had seemingly forgotten. In a way, it was comforting, and she couldn't help wondering if it was still the same as it had been when Daddy Jim was growing up.
“So,” Grandma Kirk started, handing her a mug and sitting across from her at the small table, “how has the Academy been treating you?”
“About the same. I'm still doubled up on bio-science courses, like I was last fall, mostly xenobiology and a lot of pre-med, with a few computer engineering courses thrown in as an elective track since Admiral Pike keeps pushing it. If I can get through the pre-med program by the end of Spring semester next year, I'll be another year ahead. I can start my internship at Starfleet Medical in the summer and get a real posting by mid-seventy-three.”
“That's a whole lot of work to do in such a short time,” the older woman commented, her brow furrowed.
“Yeah,” Jo sighed. “I'm pretty much working non-stop to get there, summers included from here on out, but Daddy didn't get through until he was thirty-one, so I figure I'll be doin' pretty darned good to get posted by the time I'm twenty-four.”
Grandma Kirk gave her an even more worried look. “You're not telling me this is your only break?”
“Yes, ma'am. I just finished up six summer courses, and I'm starting the fall semester on August twentieth.”
“No wonder you already drink coffee!”
Jo couldn't agree more. “It's a family trait, I think.” And at least she could admit that. Her Daddy drank coffee like it was going out of style.
Her Grandma nodded, sipping from her own mug, then turned a more thoughtful gaze on her. “Does your mother know you came here?”
Damn, Jo was hoping that wouldn't come up again after her throw-away comment on the porch. Her stomach twisted a little with the thought of that call to her Momma on the shuttle, and a little scowl settled on her face. “She knows I'm not coming to see her,” she said quietly, averting her gaze. She really didn't want to go through everything again, after laying it all out there for Teva, but there didn't seem to be any alternative.
To her mild relief, Grandma Kirk didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue, drinking her coffee.
Jo took a few long swallows of her own cup to bolster herself, then started, “I just couldn't make myself go. I know it's cowardly, but after... after everything, and the way she talked to me on the phone this morning, I just don't want anything to do with her. The stuff she said to me when I was a kid just won't leave me alone, and I don't have the time or care to have all that thrown in my face again. I sure as hell don't want Clay giving me shit, either.”
Nodding again, the older woman set her coffee aside and folded her hands on the table. “I know it's old news,” she said at last, “but you know that things were pretty rough between me and Jim when he was growing up, too. Not quite like how it was for you and your mother, but rough all the same. I wasn't here much, took a lot of postings on starbases and outposts, worked Utopia Planitia for a while, and Jim was stuck dirtside with an asshole for a stepfather. I ran away from him, from what he reminded me of, and I'm not proud of that. It was a long time before we got straight, before I opened my eyes and saw what he'd gone through. I don't think it ever would've happened if he hadn't forgiven me for what I'd done.”
Oh, that stung. No way Grandma Kirk had ever been like her Momma. Not in a million years.
Feeling the twist in her gut tighten and her cheeks redden, Jo looked her Grandma square in the eyes and said something she'd sworn to herself to never repeat. “I bet you never called Daddy Jim an arrogant, holier-than-thou, trouble-making little cunt.”
The older woman's hand flew over her mouth to cover her shock at the words Joanna had heard a hundred times by the time she was fourteen. “Oh, Joanna, honey, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you ever tell me about that?”
Jo shrugged. “I never told anyone. Didn't want to spread around Momma's crap when all it did was tick me off. But now you see why I don't want anything to do with her. How could I ever forgive that? She wasn't mourning, she despised me for everything I stood for, for looking and acting just a little too much like Daddy, when she hated him like hell.” Blinking hard and scrubbing a hand across her face, she breathed deep, then met her Grandma's gaze again. “I tried. I really did. But I just can't go there. I can't.”
Reaching across the table to grasp one of Joanna's hands with hers, Grandma Kirk said firmly, “Okay. I won't bring her up again, and you can stay here your whole break if you want. I'll even take you out to the ship yard for a tour since we're on a new project now, get you some practical credit. Sound good?”
“Sounds great,” Jo answered, her anxiety finally lifting.
~*~*~*~
“So, what do you think? USS Excelsior, slated for launch in two years, thanks to the seriously accelerated construction schedule.”
Joanna couldn't help the drop of her jaw as they drove up to the shipyard in her Grandma's car, bright morning sunlight peeking through the partially-covered skeletons of starship sections as they loomed up over the horizon, larger and larger within their scaffolding until she couldn't see their tops through the windshield. She'd seen plenty of ships, sure, seen the Enterprise in various states of repair, but never anything at all like this. “It's... it's fantastic!” she finally replied, managing to pick up her jaw and grin.
Grandma Kirk laughed as they pulled through security and into the engineers' lot and she parked. “I sure hope it is, it's my ship. Well, part of it's my redesign, anyway,” she amended. “And I'm in charge of making sure it gets put together right. You wouldn't believe how mucked up they had the engines before I took over the project. Come on, I'll show you around.”
Getting out of the car, Jo started to wish she'd packed one of her cadet uniforms. Wearing civvies on a tour of a Starfleet complex didn't exactly feel right, especially not jeans, a fitted yellow tank top, and a pale blue hoodie. But she supposed that was what she got for packing for August in Georgia. At least her boots were regulation, though, even if her alternate plans hadn't gone much further than shuttle tickets and her rental bike.
Still, her cadet reds would have been better.
“What's wrong?”
Brought out of her thoughts by the question, Jo tried to refocus. “Huh?”
“You're fidgeting,” the older woman noted as they got to the main building and she ushered Joanna inside.
Jo offered a weak smile, tilting her head to gesture at her Grandma's bright red engineering tunic. “I'm out of uniform.”
“You're a guest. Don't sweat it, honey.”
“Yeah....” But really, she had no response. It was an unofficial tour and she had a guest pass, so there was no good reason to be jittery about it. “Okay,” she relented, fighting the urge to salute and snap out a 'yes, ma'am', though she still couldn't help falling into step with her Grandma as they wound their way through the corridors and up several flights of stairs, then took two turbolifts up to the observation deck.
“Here we are,” Grandma Kirk announced as they crossed the deck to the tall windows overlooking the construction below.
She went on to point out the different sections in their various stages of construction, but Jo couldn't hear her anymore, the sight of the unfinished saucer section stretching out just below them shoving everything else into the background. In an instant, Joanna had traveled back to that first time she'd seen a passenger shuttle, her nose pressed to the half-fogged glass at the shuttle port in Atlanta in the middle of winter.
God, what a trip she'd taken from there to here, so much crap she'd been through and likewise pulled. Now, if she could just get through the Academy and get posted, it would make her Daddy so pr―well, it would make everything completely worth it.
“Penny,” her Grandma said after a while, tugging lightly on her sleeve as she leaned against the window.
“Hmm? Oh,” Jo replied, tearing her gaze away from the skeletal, half-finished sight before her as she realized her Grandma had stopped talking a while ago. “I just... it's gorgeous. Nothing as awesome as the Enterprise, of course, but still damn pretty. Almost... organic, in a way, you know?”
The older woman smiled, glancing briefly at the saucer section. “Oh, yes. It's like watching something come to life and grow up before your very eyes.”
“Like Daddy Jim?”
When her Grandma only hummed sadly in response, a faraway look in her eyes, Jo nodded. If any of the stories she'd heard were true, she'd bet supervising starship construction was probably a walk in the park by comparison. And after their talk the day before, Joanna figured it must be a lot less heartbreaking, too.
The long silence that fell over them then seemed to confirm her suspicion, but the lingering sense of melancholy was all swept away when a comm panel a few feet away chimed and a tinny voice came through, “Sorensen to Kirk.”
Straightening herself and stepping over to activate the comm, her Grandma responded with a quick, “Kirk here.”
“Ma'am, we're having an issue with the computer core install. The core isn't syncing with the shipyard systems.”
“On my way.” Turning to Joanna, she said, “You want to see a brand-spanking-new computer core?”
Jo couldn't help the grin that took over her face and the sudden jumping of her heart. “Yes, ma'am!”
~*~*~*~
Down in the bowels of the unfinished saucer section, Jo tried to stand by patiently as her Grandma got to work on sorting out their syncing problem, the Cadet failing spectacularly as her focus kept skittering off to the massive computer core right in front of her. It was amazing, almost better than seeing the ship from the outside, clean and slick with the newer isolinear system in place of the old USB system that had been the foundation of computer tech for the last two hundred fifty years, and completely bypassing the duotronic system that'd had a passing popularity over the last few decades. Heck, it was so advanced it could likely out-perform the Enterprise's computer, hands down.
Not that she'd ever tell Daddy Jim or Aunt Gaila that; she'd never live down her disloyalty.
“You've had this core to work with for a week, Sorensen, why didn't you bring this to my attention sooner?” her Grandma was saying as she sat down at a station and started reviewing the set-up.
“We didn't have any problems with it until this morning, Commander, I'm sorry. We've had the core online manually since we got it in, but the remote tests weren't scheduled until today,” the tall Lieutenant shrugged helplessly. Hovering over Grandma Kirk's shoulder, he pointed out the log of the sync failures. “We tried twenty-seven times this morning to get in, but we can't get past the firewall, even when we try to sync up from the core itself.”
“It must be a problem with system incompatibility, then,” her Grandma suggested.
Sorensen shook his head. “If it is, it's a serious problem, ma'am. We tried twelve different patches already, and none of them worked.”
“Dammit.”
Jo's attention snapped back to their discussion at the mention of system incompatibility then, and she couldn't help putting in, “You know, the PADDs we use at the Academy are all isolinear now, and I haven't had any trouble interfacing with the older systems. If we have problems, it's usually security-related, since the isolinear systems have three layers of built-in holographic encryption that the users don't expect and aren't familiar with. It's more complex than most people are used to, but totally workable if you know the right log-in sequence.”
Both Sorensen and her Grandma looked at her curiously at that.
“Sorry,” she backpedaled quickly, feeling a little color rising on her cheeks. “I'm sure you already tried that.” Looking back at the open panels of the core and the optical and isolinear cables connecting it to the mobile shipyard station, she heard her Grandma tapping commands into the shipyard computer.
“Lieutenant, I believe you've just been schooled by a Cadet.”
What?
Jo's heart leaped into her throat, and she turned back to see Sorensen scrubbing a hand over the back of his neck, looking embarrassed as all get out. “Sorry, ma'am,” he tried to cover. “Like I said, we've been working from inside the core's systems for a week now. I didn't see any other levels of encryption.”
“I'm sure you didn't,” her Grandma went on. “Next time, you'd better have your eyes peeled.”
Another command entered into the computer, and the whole mobile station lit up with data from the core's systems. Engineering, navigation, environmental, weapons, it was all there, open and waiting.
Another broad grin spread over Jo's features as she watched the fully-synced system come to life. It was beautiful.
~*~*~*~
“That was a nice save today,” Grandma Kirk commented over dinner that night, a few hot dogs thrown on the grill out on the patio behind the old house.
Finishing a bite and swallowing, Jo had to fight down another blush. “Just trying to help,” she shrugged. “I didn't really expect to be able to.”
The older woman smirked, sitting back in her patio chair. “Well, you did. I don't think Sorensen knew what hit him, poor guy.”
“He was pretty bowled over, wasn't he?”
“Oh, yes. And he's lucky I didn't just bust him back to Junior Lieutenant for that slip. He could probably stand to take those courses you've been taking as an elective, since they paid off so well today.”
“Well, it was mostly personal experience,” Jo demurred. “Even the advanced courses I've taken are pretty elementary.”
Grandma Kirk took a swig of her Bud Classic and set it on the patio table, eying her granddaughter. “That was personal experience?” she asked, the question more a matter-of-fact statement than anything.
“Yes, ma'am.”
“And I bet you're the go-to girl for tech issues within your battalion.”
Jo nodded, not really liking where this was going. It always made her fidgety when people started in on her choice of course track. Bio-medical all the way, she'd promised herself years ago.
Gazing at her critically, the older woman gave her a wizened smile. “You know, you don't have to go into medicine. With your natural talent, I have no doubt you could graduate with honors and a Lieutenant ranking within two years, and have your choice of posting.”
“That's what Admiral Pike said,” Joanna murmured, before taking a long swallow of her Coke. “He's been trying to get me to switch tracks since before I joined Starfleet.”
“Pike's right. He challenged Jim to do better, and he was right about that. He got him promoted to Captain right out of the gate, and he was right again. Hell, he got your father to join up, and look at how much of an asset he is to the Fleet now. The Admiral knows what he's talking about.”
“Yeah....” Jo admitted ruefully. He'd been right about a lot of things.
A lot of people had been right about a lot of things. Pike, Teva, and now... now it was looking like Grandma Kirk was right, too.
“I just... I want to do what Daddy does, help people,” she tried to stand her ground, feeling like it was turning to quicksand beneath her feet.
The older woman looked at her more softly. “You can help a lot of people as a computer engineer, too. And I think we both know your father will be proud of you no matter what you do.”
“I didn't say―” Jo started, jumping to defend herself instantly.
But Grandma Kirk only shook her head. “You didn't have to. It's written all over you, honey. And no matter what you think, he will still be proud of you.”
At that, Jo simply deflated, slumping back into her chair and turning her soda can around in her fingers idly, despising herself for being so damned transparent. “I guess so....”
“No, there's no guessing to it. He will be.” After pausing a moment, she went on, “Did your father or Jim ever tell you about the M5 computer? Most of that incident's been classified, but not the basics.”
Shaking her head, Joanna pursed her lips briefly, her brow furrowed. “I know it was something about a war games exercise that went wrong, that the M5 had something to do with it, but nothing else.”
“Well, the gist of it is that the M5 took over the ship for a short time, did some real damage out there,” she explained, lifting her head toward the sky for a moment. “Jim would probably have you believe it was his genius that saved the day when that computer got too aggressive, but I happen to know for a fact it was Lieutenant Gaila that got that thing to shut itself down. She saved a lot of lives that day.”
Jo averted her gaze again, taking another long swallow of her drink. Her Aunt Gaila was pretty awesome at what she did best. And Joanna happened to know that it was Gaila that got Daddy Jim past the Kobayashi Maru's programming way back at the Academy. A girl could do far worse than to be that awesome, and love what she was doing.
“Do you even like all those bio-medical courses you're cramming in?” her Grandma asked after a while.
Before she could stop herself, a truly honest answer passed her lips.
“Not really.”
And her heart twisted at the awful realization of it, the tedium of memorizing amino acid chains and biochemical pathways, the nights spent poring over dry medical texts when she should have been sleeping, when she would much rather have been dissecting the programming of the new replicators in the mess hall.
Grandma Kirk smiled. “Then you have your answer.”
But could it really be that simple? Sucking in a deep breath of warm evening air, Joanna closed her eyes and tried to shove away the arguments she'd been fighting with herself for so many years. It was complex. She had things to prove. There was only one choice, and it―
It wasn't bio-medical anymore.
Maybe it never was.
All those years of rote memorization and sleepless nights seemed to evaporate before her very eyes as she remembered how she felt standing next to that computer core, excited like a kid in a candy store, and with that, the image of her Daddy smiling broadly came to her unbidden for the first time since she'd graduated the Junior Academy two years ago.
A glance down at her old, worn-out Starfleet Medical watch she'd worn for the trip, its band secured with good ol' duct tape in spots and its face cracked right across the middle, and Joanna let out a breath of what she supposed was relief. “I always wondered what I'd look like in engineering red,” she mused, looking up at her Grandma at last and letting herself smile, feeling like the proverbial albatross had been taken from around her neck, her heart untwisting and swelling to fill her chest. “Can I use your comm to call Admiral Pike? I think I have some courses to switch out for the fall semester.”
Grandma Kirk grinned back. “Sure, sweetheart. And you be sure to tell him he's got me to thank for ninety percent of all his recruiting successes.”
Loosing a finally carefree laugh, Jo nodded. “I will.”
~*~*~*~
Author: saavikam77
Artist: team_fen
Fanmixer: bonesofyou
Beta Reader: acroamatica
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Character/Pairing(s): Joanna McCoy, with Jim Kirk/Leonard McCoy, Jocelyn Treadway, Gaila(/Scotty), Chris Pike, Spock, Winona Kirk, Sulu(/Chekov), and an OC (Teva) all in supporting roles
Rating: (this chapter) R (for language)
Word Count: (this chapter) 5,568
Summary: Joanna McCoy has big plans for herself, and she isn't about to let anyone hold her back. She'll do things her way, even if it means breaking the rules and burning bridges behind her. Five times Joanna ran away, and one time she didn't.
Chapter Summary: Age 19. After a last minute change in her summer vacation plans, Jo has a startling revelation about her life's choices.
Disclaimer: Paramount and CBS own everything but Teva (she's all mine!). I'm making no money off this story. Darnit!
Master Post | Next Chapter
IV. Gaining Altitude
Jo couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much trouble packing for a trip. Certainly not any time she went to visit her Daddy and Jim, and hell, not even all those times she'd picked up and run. But this time... this time was different. She had no clue what to take with her to go visit her Momma on her two-week break. Yeah, it was gonna be hot as hell in Georgia, which should've made things easy, but what if Momma wanted to try to take her to church? Or worse yet, to visit Clay's family? Ugh, she couldn't even stomach the idea.
“You appear to be in distress. Is something wrong?”
Looking up from the armload of clothes she'd dumped on the bed, Joanna set her hands on her hips and blew a rogue lock of hair away from her face. Her roommate was well-meaning, sure, but Teva was still a little clueless about human emotional displays. Those three years spent on New Vulcan at the exchange school after her rescue from a remote outpost had cooled her Romulan blood nearly to green ice, skipping over the middle ground altogether, though it was probably for the better in her case.
“Nah,” she finally replied. “It's just... I haven't been to see Momma in... God, five years. Not since, well, since my Daddy got me the heck outta' there. I haven't even seen where she moved back to after she quit the Diplomatic Corps.” Truth was, she hadn't spoken one word to the woman in almost all of those five years, until her Momma had called her several weeks ago and invited her down. It was downright distressing, just thinking about it.
Teva raised a slanted eyebrow at her and folded her hands in her lap. Sitting cross-legged on her bed in Academy-issue pajamas with a study-PADD momentarily discarded, she regarded Joanna carefully. “There isn't any shame in being nervous, Jo. I certainly would be if I were to return to the environment I was reared in.”
“Heh. I suppose that's a given.” Dropping down onto her own bed facing her roommate, she shoved the pile of clothes away and ran her hands through her hair properly. “I just feel like I'm a little old to be this wound up over seein' my Momma, of all people, you know? I ain't had to answer to her for a damned thing in a long time, and I sure as hell don't have to put up with her crap anymore.”
“I doubt there's an appropriate age to have negative feelings concerning past wrongs,” the other girl offered. Averting her gaze, she went on, “I know you didn't know me then, but... I didn't deal well with the transition to Vulcan teachings. Even after everything that was done on my behalf. Learning control, when I had none, and nothing good to look back on and an uncertain future, was trying at best. I was 'wound up' for quite a long time.”
It wasn't a subject they talked about much, left alone by silent agreement along with Jo's childhood, so it was a rare day Joanna got to see the other side of her friend. This was the side that was still a scared little girl being held in a breeding camp on a lonely Romulan outpost once called Hellguard. And it was the side that had been forcibly impregnated at fifteen and then separated from her half-Vulcan daughter just minutes after her birth.
Not a happy past, by any stretch of the imagination, and astronomically worse than anything Jo had ever endured.
“Sorry,” Jo murmured into the uneasy silence that had fallen over their room. “Guess I let myself get carried away.”
Teva looked at her more strongly then. “Not at all. As I said, there is no shame in it. I only guard myself so closely because if I didn't, the result would be quite undesirable.”
“Yeah... I know. And I'm still sorry,” Joanna said, heaving herself back up to try to really sort through her clothes. “Maybe I'll just pack for travel and summer weather, and if Momma has a problem with it, she can take it up with my middle finger.”
“I don't understand.”
Jo glanced up from her sorting and smirked. “It's a rude gesture. You've got to have seen it.”
Her roommate's eyebrow climbed again. “I don't believe so.”
“Means 'fuck you', or 'go fuck yourself',” Joanna demonstrated, one finger extended. “Basically a crude way of telling someone to leave you the heck alone.”
“Ah. I see.”
“Yeah. It ain't pretty. And Momma doesn't exactly deserve the special treatment. It's bad enough I promised to go see her.”
After a long moment of silence briefly punctuated by the rustle of clothes being shoved into Joanna's Starfleet-issue duffel and the tap of a stylus against a PADD, Teva spoke up again. “I don't believe it is necessary to visit your mother, if you don't want to.”
Jo chewed on that for a bit, folding a pair of jeans and tucking them into her duffel alongside a spare hoodie jacket, then said, “Yeah, I do.” She hated like hell to admit it, but she really did. “I owe her that much.”
“I hardly think you owe her for imprisoning you on a diplomatic transport for two years.”
“She's still my Momma, no matter what she's done or said. She gave me life, so... I owe her.”
At that, a heavier sense of doom and regret fell over the small room, Jo realizing after a moment just what she'd said; her roommate's guilt over leaving her daughter on New Vulcan after finally being reunited was deep, if not exactly easy to see on the surface.
“Teva, I'm―”
“Don't,” her roommate warned quietly. “I know you're sorry, Jo. And I know your relationship with your mother is unique to your situation. Even if I can't be a mother to my own daughter now, I have every intention of providing for both her physical and psychological needs in the future. I could never blame you for the way you feel. It's a logical conclusion.”
Joanna zipped the duffel closed at last and chucked it to the floor, then returned a faint smile. “Okay.”
“And still, I don't believe you should go if it's this difficult for you.” But at Jo's sour look, she amended, “Alternatively, you could prepare an itinerary to serve as a back-up plan, in the event your visit does not go as you hope.”
A broader smile moved over Jo's face at the suggestion, the knot of anxiety in her gut finally loosening, and she grabbed up a PADD from her desk before plopping down on her bed to get to work.
“You are the best roommate ever, Teva,” she grinned.
“Likewise, Joanna. Very much likewise.”
~*~*~*~
That little kick of weightlessness before the gravity generators switched on never really seemed to bother Joanna anymore. Except for today. Gripping the armrests tightly, she fought the sudden surge of nausea that hit her, a scowl firmly in place.
Damn, she'd thought she'd outgrown this shit with all that anti-grav training in her first year at the Academy. Twenty-two hours spent in zero-G, and it hadn't done her one bit of real tangible good.
But no one needed to know. If she could just swallow the nausea down and keep her breakfast in her stomach, she'd be all right. No need to change, no sudden trips to the tiny bathroom of the shuttle, no being compared to Daddy. Again.
No. She was a grown woman, dammit! She could do this. She could keep her cool. She could make it to Momma's without incident. She could deal with anything her Momma had to say. She―
Trouble-maker. Good-for-nothing, arrogant wimp. Disloyal little bitch.
Aw, hell.
If going to visit her Momma was twisting her up this bad, then why bother? Maybe Teva had been right. Really right. Why dredge all this old shit up when she'd been doing so well? It just wasn't worth it. Jo hadn't been nauseous in zero-G in years, hadn't been so... so... messed up over anything since trying to get into the Academy at seventeen, and since ditching Momma on Altair VI before that. Even her most stressful exams couldn't compare to this.
Fishing her cell out of her duffel, Jo pulled up her alternate itinerary. With a thirty-minute layover in St. Louis, she'd have just enough time to haul ass and hop the shuttle to Des Moines. A few taps on the small screen, and her next flight was confirmed. Now, to rip off the band-aid and get the hard part over with.
Jo brought up her Momma's new number in Augusta, her heart hammering in her chest. Now or never.
One tap of her index finger, and the call was sent.
Two rings, three.
Click. “Joanna?”
Damn, she was almost hoping to get her Momma's voicemail.
“Um, hi, Momma.”
Her Momma sighed heavily from the other end of the call. “You're not coming, are you?” she bit out.
Jo wanted to crawl under a rock. “Sorry, Momma.” Except she really wasn't all that sorry. “Some... things came up here, and I can't get away. Got make-up exams and all.”
“Well, can't say as I'm surprised. I was really―” she broke off for a short moment, then, “I just wanted to see you. It's been too long.”
“Yeah, well, you coulda' thought about that when I graduated from the Junior Academy.”
“I was eighty-five light years away, Joanna!” her Momma shot back defensively.
“Didn't stop Daddy and Jim from comin'.”
“That isn't fair.”
“Oh, I think it is. You reap what you sow, Momma.”
The line was silent for a long moment, then her Momma ground out, “I guess the apple didn't fall far from the damn tree, did it?”
Heat climbing up her cheeks, Jo scowled, then spat back, “You know what? Forget it. I don't need this. Bye, Momma.”
“That's right, you just run, like always, just like your―”
Her guts twisted up into pretzels, Jo cut the call before her Momma could finish and shoved her cell back into her duffel. To hell with her Momma, she had someone better to visit.
~*~*~*~
Dust kicking up behind her, Jo laughed into the warm summer wind and revved up the throttle on her rented bike. Man, Daddy Jim had been right about the roads out here in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere Iowa. Straight as an arrow with just enough traction to keep you on the ground.
He'd probably regret ever telling her that.
Well, he'd regret it just as soon as he found out she'd skipped off of her scheduled trip to go visit Grandma Kirk instead. And Jo figured that'd take about a half-hour after she got to the old homestead, which was already coming up over the horizon, the sprawling one-story farmhouse tucked beneath a few broad trees in the middle of nothing else but fields and a few outbuildings.
Another burst of speed to cross that rapidly shrinking distance, and she pulled the bike up in the driveway, revved the engine just once to give a little warning, and cut it off.
As hoped, the old screen door on the house creaked open just as she unhooked her duffel from the back of the bike, her helmet secured in its place.
“Joanna! My God, what on Earth are you doing here?” Grandma Kirk cried out happily, the look on her face totally worth the alternate travel plans, her jaw dropped open and eyes practically bugging out beneath her gray hair falling from a loose ponytail.
Bounding up the steps, Jo shook out her own hair, glad to be free of her regulation braid for a whole two weeks, and greeted the older woman with a tight hug. “Change in summer plans. I was supposed to go visit Momma and Clay,” she explained, her other step-father's name bitter on her tongue, “but I'd rather spend my two weeks here, assuming you'll have me.” Not that she was worried, having spent most of her infrequent Academy breaks and holidays here for the better part of five years, an arrangement worked out thanks to Daddy Jim after Jo had come back to Earth to go to school, but she couldn't resist the little teasing remark.
Grandma Kirk pulled back from the hug, scoffing back playfully. “You know you're always welcome here, Jo. You'd think the last few Christmases would tell you that.” Gesturing toward the driveway then, she smirked, “And what is that, exactly?”
Jo couldn't hide a grin and a little blush as her Grandma ushered her into the house. “It's a Yamaha XF-370 Quad-Cell Magna-Grav. Nothin' fancy, but still pretty kickin'. I rented it at the shuttle port.”
“Definitely my son's influence, then,” her Grandma nodded, leading the way back down the hall toward the kitchen. “You have the proper license for that, I assume.”
“Yes, ma'am. Been riding an older model back in San Francisco since February. And before you ask, yes, Daddy and Jim both know, and have repeatedly warned me of the dangers of riding.”
The older woman laughed at the unashamed assertion. “Jim told me about that. He was so repentant for everything he'd ever pulled on me with the bike he used to have, it was hilarious. And since you're more-or-less grown, he was completely at a loss for anything to say to dissuade you from it.”
“Not much they could probably say to dissuade me from anything,” Jo added. “Ever.”
“No doubt. You drink coffee yet? I've got some on,” Grandma Kirk asked as her step-granddaughter dropped her duffel inside the kitchen entryway and took a seat at the worn table.
“With my course load? I'd say that's a given,” Joanna answered, taking in the room. With the refrigerator handle cracked down the middle, the corners of the cabinet doors chipped and worn, and the old-fashioned coffee maker still in use, it was all the same as it had been last Christmas, and the summer before that, and the Christmas before that, and so on, the kitchen that time had seemingly forgotten. In a way, it was comforting, and she couldn't help wondering if it was still the same as it had been when Daddy Jim was growing up.
“So,” Grandma Kirk started, handing her a mug and sitting across from her at the small table, “how has the Academy been treating you?”
“About the same. I'm still doubled up on bio-science courses, like I was last fall, mostly xenobiology and a lot of pre-med, with a few computer engineering courses thrown in as an elective track since Admiral Pike keeps pushing it. If I can get through the pre-med program by the end of Spring semester next year, I'll be another year ahead. I can start my internship at Starfleet Medical in the summer and get a real posting by mid-seventy-three.”
“That's a whole lot of work to do in such a short time,” the older woman commented, her brow furrowed.
“Yeah,” Jo sighed. “I'm pretty much working non-stop to get there, summers included from here on out, but Daddy didn't get through until he was thirty-one, so I figure I'll be doin' pretty darned good to get posted by the time I'm twenty-four.”
Grandma Kirk gave her an even more worried look. “You're not telling me this is your only break?”
“Yes, ma'am. I just finished up six summer courses, and I'm starting the fall semester on August twentieth.”
“No wonder you already drink coffee!”
Jo couldn't agree more. “It's a family trait, I think.” And at least she could admit that. Her Daddy drank coffee like it was going out of style.
Her Grandma nodded, sipping from her own mug, then turned a more thoughtful gaze on her. “Does your mother know you came here?”
Damn, Jo was hoping that wouldn't come up again after her throw-away comment on the porch. Her stomach twisted a little with the thought of that call to her Momma on the shuttle, and a little scowl settled on her face. “She knows I'm not coming to see her,” she said quietly, averting her gaze. She really didn't want to go through everything again, after laying it all out there for Teva, but there didn't seem to be any alternative.
To her mild relief, Grandma Kirk didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue, drinking her coffee.
Jo took a few long swallows of her own cup to bolster herself, then started, “I just couldn't make myself go. I know it's cowardly, but after... after everything, and the way she talked to me on the phone this morning, I just don't want anything to do with her. The stuff she said to me when I was a kid just won't leave me alone, and I don't have the time or care to have all that thrown in my face again. I sure as hell don't want Clay giving me shit, either.”
Nodding again, the older woman set her coffee aside and folded her hands on the table. “I know it's old news,” she said at last, “but you know that things were pretty rough between me and Jim when he was growing up, too. Not quite like how it was for you and your mother, but rough all the same. I wasn't here much, took a lot of postings on starbases and outposts, worked Utopia Planitia for a while, and Jim was stuck dirtside with an asshole for a stepfather. I ran away from him, from what he reminded me of, and I'm not proud of that. It was a long time before we got straight, before I opened my eyes and saw what he'd gone through. I don't think it ever would've happened if he hadn't forgiven me for what I'd done.”
Oh, that stung. No way Grandma Kirk had ever been like her Momma. Not in a million years.
Feeling the twist in her gut tighten and her cheeks redden, Jo looked her Grandma square in the eyes and said something she'd sworn to herself to never repeat. “I bet you never called Daddy Jim an arrogant, holier-than-thou, trouble-making little cunt.”
The older woman's hand flew over her mouth to cover her shock at the words Joanna had heard a hundred times by the time she was fourteen. “Oh, Joanna, honey, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you ever tell me about that?”
Jo shrugged. “I never told anyone. Didn't want to spread around Momma's crap when all it did was tick me off. But now you see why I don't want anything to do with her. How could I ever forgive that? She wasn't mourning, she despised me for everything I stood for, for looking and acting just a little too much like Daddy, when she hated him like hell.” Blinking hard and scrubbing a hand across her face, she breathed deep, then met her Grandma's gaze again. “I tried. I really did. But I just can't go there. I can't.”
Reaching across the table to grasp one of Joanna's hands with hers, Grandma Kirk said firmly, “Okay. I won't bring her up again, and you can stay here your whole break if you want. I'll even take you out to the ship yard for a tour since we're on a new project now, get you some practical credit. Sound good?”
“Sounds great,” Jo answered, her anxiety finally lifting.
~*~*~*~
“So, what do you think? USS Excelsior, slated for launch in two years, thanks to the seriously accelerated construction schedule.”
Joanna couldn't help the drop of her jaw as they drove up to the shipyard in her Grandma's car, bright morning sunlight peeking through the partially-covered skeletons of starship sections as they loomed up over the horizon, larger and larger within their scaffolding until she couldn't see their tops through the windshield. She'd seen plenty of ships, sure, seen the Enterprise in various states of repair, but never anything at all like this. “It's... it's fantastic!” she finally replied, managing to pick up her jaw and grin.
Grandma Kirk laughed as they pulled through security and into the engineers' lot and she parked. “I sure hope it is, it's my ship. Well, part of it's my redesign, anyway,” she amended. “And I'm in charge of making sure it gets put together right. You wouldn't believe how mucked up they had the engines before I took over the project. Come on, I'll show you around.”
Getting out of the car, Jo started to wish she'd packed one of her cadet uniforms. Wearing civvies on a tour of a Starfleet complex didn't exactly feel right, especially not jeans, a fitted yellow tank top, and a pale blue hoodie. But she supposed that was what she got for packing for August in Georgia. At least her boots were regulation, though, even if her alternate plans hadn't gone much further than shuttle tickets and her rental bike.
Still, her cadet reds would have been better.
“What's wrong?”
Brought out of her thoughts by the question, Jo tried to refocus. “Huh?”
“You're fidgeting,” the older woman noted as they got to the main building and she ushered Joanna inside.
Jo offered a weak smile, tilting her head to gesture at her Grandma's bright red engineering tunic. “I'm out of uniform.”
“You're a guest. Don't sweat it, honey.”
“Yeah....” But really, she had no response. It was an unofficial tour and she had a guest pass, so there was no good reason to be jittery about it. “Okay,” she relented, fighting the urge to salute and snap out a 'yes, ma'am', though she still couldn't help falling into step with her Grandma as they wound their way through the corridors and up several flights of stairs, then took two turbolifts up to the observation deck.
“Here we are,” Grandma Kirk announced as they crossed the deck to the tall windows overlooking the construction below.
She went on to point out the different sections in their various stages of construction, but Jo couldn't hear her anymore, the sight of the unfinished saucer section stretching out just below them shoving everything else into the background. In an instant, Joanna had traveled back to that first time she'd seen a passenger shuttle, her nose pressed to the half-fogged glass at the shuttle port in Atlanta in the middle of winter.
God, what a trip she'd taken from there to here, so much crap she'd been through and likewise pulled. Now, if she could just get through the Academy and get posted, it would make her Daddy so pr―well, it would make everything completely worth it.
“Penny,” her Grandma said after a while, tugging lightly on her sleeve as she leaned against the window.
“Hmm? Oh,” Jo replied, tearing her gaze away from the skeletal, half-finished sight before her as she realized her Grandma had stopped talking a while ago. “I just... it's gorgeous. Nothing as awesome as the Enterprise, of course, but still damn pretty. Almost... organic, in a way, you know?”
The older woman smiled, glancing briefly at the saucer section. “Oh, yes. It's like watching something come to life and grow up before your very eyes.”
“Like Daddy Jim?”
When her Grandma only hummed sadly in response, a faraway look in her eyes, Jo nodded. If any of the stories she'd heard were true, she'd bet supervising starship construction was probably a walk in the park by comparison. And after their talk the day before, Joanna figured it must be a lot less heartbreaking, too.
The long silence that fell over them then seemed to confirm her suspicion, but the lingering sense of melancholy was all swept away when a comm panel a few feet away chimed and a tinny voice came through, “Sorensen to Kirk.”
Straightening herself and stepping over to activate the comm, her Grandma responded with a quick, “Kirk here.”
“Ma'am, we're having an issue with the computer core install. The core isn't syncing with the shipyard systems.”
“On my way.” Turning to Joanna, she said, “You want to see a brand-spanking-new computer core?”
Jo couldn't help the grin that took over her face and the sudden jumping of her heart. “Yes, ma'am!”
~*~*~*~
Down in the bowels of the unfinished saucer section, Jo tried to stand by patiently as her Grandma got to work on sorting out their syncing problem, the Cadet failing spectacularly as her focus kept skittering off to the massive computer core right in front of her. It was amazing, almost better than seeing the ship from the outside, clean and slick with the newer isolinear system in place of the old USB system that had been the foundation of computer tech for the last two hundred fifty years, and completely bypassing the duotronic system that'd had a passing popularity over the last few decades. Heck, it was so advanced it could likely out-perform the Enterprise's computer, hands down.
Not that she'd ever tell Daddy Jim or Aunt Gaila that; she'd never live down her disloyalty.
“You've had this core to work with for a week, Sorensen, why didn't you bring this to my attention sooner?” her Grandma was saying as she sat down at a station and started reviewing the set-up.
“We didn't have any problems with it until this morning, Commander, I'm sorry. We've had the core online manually since we got it in, but the remote tests weren't scheduled until today,” the tall Lieutenant shrugged helplessly. Hovering over Grandma Kirk's shoulder, he pointed out the log of the sync failures. “We tried twenty-seven times this morning to get in, but we can't get past the firewall, even when we try to sync up from the core itself.”
“It must be a problem with system incompatibility, then,” her Grandma suggested.
Sorensen shook his head. “If it is, it's a serious problem, ma'am. We tried twelve different patches already, and none of them worked.”
“Dammit.”
Jo's attention snapped back to their discussion at the mention of system incompatibility then, and she couldn't help putting in, “You know, the PADDs we use at the Academy are all isolinear now, and I haven't had any trouble interfacing with the older systems. If we have problems, it's usually security-related, since the isolinear systems have three layers of built-in holographic encryption that the users don't expect and aren't familiar with. It's more complex than most people are used to, but totally workable if you know the right log-in sequence.”
Both Sorensen and her Grandma looked at her curiously at that.
“Sorry,” she backpedaled quickly, feeling a little color rising on her cheeks. “I'm sure you already tried that.” Looking back at the open panels of the core and the optical and isolinear cables connecting it to the mobile shipyard station, she heard her Grandma tapping commands into the shipyard computer.
“Lieutenant, I believe you've just been schooled by a Cadet.”
What?
Jo's heart leaped into her throat, and she turned back to see Sorensen scrubbing a hand over the back of his neck, looking embarrassed as all get out. “Sorry, ma'am,” he tried to cover. “Like I said, we've been working from inside the core's systems for a week now. I didn't see any other levels of encryption.”
“I'm sure you didn't,” her Grandma went on. “Next time, you'd better have your eyes peeled.”
Another command entered into the computer, and the whole mobile station lit up with data from the core's systems. Engineering, navigation, environmental, weapons, it was all there, open and waiting.
Another broad grin spread over Jo's features as she watched the fully-synced system come to life. It was beautiful.
~*~*~*~
“That was a nice save today,” Grandma Kirk commented over dinner that night, a few hot dogs thrown on the grill out on the patio behind the old house.
Finishing a bite and swallowing, Jo had to fight down another blush. “Just trying to help,” she shrugged. “I didn't really expect to be able to.”
The older woman smirked, sitting back in her patio chair. “Well, you did. I don't think Sorensen knew what hit him, poor guy.”
“He was pretty bowled over, wasn't he?”
“Oh, yes. And he's lucky I didn't just bust him back to Junior Lieutenant for that slip. He could probably stand to take those courses you've been taking as an elective, since they paid off so well today.”
“Well, it was mostly personal experience,” Jo demurred. “Even the advanced courses I've taken are pretty elementary.”
Grandma Kirk took a swig of her Bud Classic and set it on the patio table, eying her granddaughter. “That was personal experience?” she asked, the question more a matter-of-fact statement than anything.
“Yes, ma'am.”
“And I bet you're the go-to girl for tech issues within your battalion.”
Jo nodded, not really liking where this was going. It always made her fidgety when people started in on her choice of course track. Bio-medical all the way, she'd promised herself years ago.
Gazing at her critically, the older woman gave her a wizened smile. “You know, you don't have to go into medicine. With your natural talent, I have no doubt you could graduate with honors and a Lieutenant ranking within two years, and have your choice of posting.”
“That's what Admiral Pike said,” Joanna murmured, before taking a long swallow of her Coke. “He's been trying to get me to switch tracks since before I joined Starfleet.”
“Pike's right. He challenged Jim to do better, and he was right about that. He got him promoted to Captain right out of the gate, and he was right again. Hell, he got your father to join up, and look at how much of an asset he is to the Fleet now. The Admiral knows what he's talking about.”
“Yeah....” Jo admitted ruefully. He'd been right about a lot of things.
A lot of people had been right about a lot of things. Pike, Teva, and now... now it was looking like Grandma Kirk was right, too.
“I just... I want to do what Daddy does, help people,” she tried to stand her ground, feeling like it was turning to quicksand beneath her feet.
The older woman looked at her more softly. “You can help a lot of people as a computer engineer, too. And I think we both know your father will be proud of you no matter what you do.”
“I didn't say―” Jo started, jumping to defend herself instantly.
But Grandma Kirk only shook her head. “You didn't have to. It's written all over you, honey. And no matter what you think, he will still be proud of you.”
At that, Jo simply deflated, slumping back into her chair and turning her soda can around in her fingers idly, despising herself for being so damned transparent. “I guess so....”
“No, there's no guessing to it. He will be.” After pausing a moment, she went on, “Did your father or Jim ever tell you about the M5 computer? Most of that incident's been classified, but not the basics.”
Shaking her head, Joanna pursed her lips briefly, her brow furrowed. “I know it was something about a war games exercise that went wrong, that the M5 had something to do with it, but nothing else.”
“Well, the gist of it is that the M5 took over the ship for a short time, did some real damage out there,” she explained, lifting her head toward the sky for a moment. “Jim would probably have you believe it was his genius that saved the day when that computer got too aggressive, but I happen to know for a fact it was Lieutenant Gaila that got that thing to shut itself down. She saved a lot of lives that day.”
Jo averted her gaze again, taking another long swallow of her drink. Her Aunt Gaila was pretty awesome at what she did best. And Joanna happened to know that it was Gaila that got Daddy Jim past the Kobayashi Maru's programming way back at the Academy. A girl could do far worse than to be that awesome, and love what she was doing.
“Do you even like all those bio-medical courses you're cramming in?” her Grandma asked after a while.
Before she could stop herself, a truly honest answer passed her lips.
“Not really.”
And her heart twisted at the awful realization of it, the tedium of memorizing amino acid chains and biochemical pathways, the nights spent poring over dry medical texts when she should have been sleeping, when she would much rather have been dissecting the programming of the new replicators in the mess hall.
Grandma Kirk smiled. “Then you have your answer.”
But could it really be that simple? Sucking in a deep breath of warm evening air, Joanna closed her eyes and tried to shove away the arguments she'd been fighting with herself for so many years. It was complex. She had things to prove. There was only one choice, and it―
It wasn't bio-medical anymore.
Maybe it never was.
All those years of rote memorization and sleepless nights seemed to evaporate before her very eyes as she remembered how she felt standing next to that computer core, excited like a kid in a candy store, and with that, the image of her Daddy smiling broadly came to her unbidden for the first time since she'd graduated the Junior Academy two years ago.
A glance down at her old, worn-out Starfleet Medical watch she'd worn for the trip, its band secured with good ol' duct tape in spots and its face cracked right across the middle, and Joanna let out a breath of what she supposed was relief. “I always wondered what I'd look like in engineering red,” she mused, looking up at her Grandma at last and letting herself smile, feeling like the proverbial albatross had been taken from around her neck, her heart untwisting and swelling to fill her chest. “Can I use your comm to call Admiral Pike? I think I have some courses to switch out for the fall semester.”
Grandma Kirk grinned back. “Sure, sweetheart. And you be sure to tell him he's got me to thank for ninety percent of all his recruiting successes.”
Loosing a finally carefree laugh, Jo nodded. “I will.”
~*~*~*~