Can't Let You Go ~4/?~
Title: Can't Let You Go ~4/?~
Author: saar_fantasy
Fandom: Queer As Folk
Pairings: Michael/Ben, Brian/Michael eventually (some mentions of Brian/Justin)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through all 5 seasons to be safe
Warnings: Character death (Not Brian or Michael, but still quite a major one)
Disclaimer: I don't own these people in real life. I know...It's very sad.
Summary: After Justin has left to New York, Brian finds himself at a loss with himself. Especially now Michael spends so much time with Ben. He's keen on waiting for Justin to come back, but what if he never will? Then tragedy strikes at the Novotny-Bruckner home and shit starts to hit the fan for real.
A/N: YAY! My Brikey muse is working again! :D
Brian isn't really surprised when he suddenly finds himself parking his car in the parking lot of the hospital, just a few metres away from Michael's.
He steps out of the car and leans his back against it, lighting up a sigaret.
He isn't really sure what to do now. Should he go inside the hospital and find Michael? Or should he give his friend some time with Ben?
Besides, he still doesn't really know what's going on. Only something with his bloodcells, which could only mean that the HIV had spiked up again.
Maybe his meds weren't working the way they should anymore, then the doctors would probably find something else and that would be that.
But what if it wasn't? What if Michael and Ben had made it sound much less than it was?
'That's so like Mikey." Brian thought, closing his eyes and exhaled the smoke of his cigarette.
His train of thoughts went back to a long time ago, at this very same hospital. It seemed like everytime he was here, he got some kind of flashback.
The night Justin got bashed and he called Michael, who was supposed to be on a plane to follow David to wherever the fuck it was, he got a flashback too.
A flashback of a happier time, when Gus was born and he, Michael and Justin were running through the hospital.
Now the flashback was different. Sadder than the first one.
This one was of that night he was sitting in the hallway in that hospital, clutching at that damned silk scarf, Michael next to him.
Michael had been the one who kept him grounded, stopped him from doing something stupid, while they waited for news if Justin was gonna survive or not.
Michael was his rock. The one who kept him grounded. Brian would never have made it without him.
Hell, he would have made an end to his life a long time ago if it wasn't for his Mikey always saving him.
Michael might see him as his hero, but for Brian himself, Michael was just as much the hero as he was. Maybe even more so.
Brian knew he was the one who was the one who always stopped Michael, and himself, from going further than just a kiss or a hug or a little groping at the ass.
Well and that one time Michael grabbed his cock through his jeans in that toilet stall and that time in the Red Cape Comics of course.
But sometimes...Sometimes Brian wished Debbie was wrong about him. That he could be what Michael needed. Be faithful to him and just cherish the bond they share and affection they have for each other.
But it was too late now... Michael was happy with Ben. Much happier than he was with David. Happier than Brian had seen him in a while.
"Brian?"
Brian snapped back to reality and turned his head up to look straight into the questioning gaze of Hunter.
"What are you doing here?"
Brian took another drag from the now long worn out cigarette, then threw the bud to the ground and crushed it with the heel of his shoe. Then he looked over at Hunter with the best fake smile he could muster.
"Well hello to you too, kid."
"Cut the crap already," Hunter said with an eyeroll, "I said: what are you doing here?"
Brian shrugged, Hunter was a smart kid so it would be ridiculous to lie. "I don't know. Ithought Michael could use the support."
Hunter's scrutinizing gaze softened a little. "Yeah. Right now he's holding himself strong, being the hero, you know?"
"Oh, I know." Brian scoffed. "I know better than anyone."
"I thought you would." Then Hunter started walking, looking back over his shoulder, "You coming or not?"
Brian caught up with him in just a second, lucky to have long legs, and easily kept up his stride next to Hunter.
When they came inside they went straight to Ben's room. Hunter already knew the room Ben was in because Michael text it to him earlier, so they didn't have to stop at the nurses' desk. That saved them a lot of time.
When they were only approaching the room, they could already hear Michael puttering around the room, fussing over his husband. Then Ben's voice, asking him to just sit down and try to relax.
That was a good one, Brian thought to himself, as if Michael could relax right now. At least Ben meant well, but, there was more necessary then just some soothing words to get Michael to calm down. Brian knew exactly the way to do so.
"Well, this looks cosy." Brian said as he walked into the room, not even bothering to look around at all. He looked over at Ben and gave a nod. He knew what Ben needed right now. What he and Michael both needed. "Mikey, why don't you and I take a little walk. Bring some drinks back here when we get back."
"I don't have time for a walk."
"No, but you do have time to pace around the room." Brian just raised his eyebrow when Michael glared at him. "Don't you think we should give Ben some time to settle in? You're making him nervous. Hell, you're even making me nervous and I just got here."
"I can't leave him alone right now." At least Michael had stopped walking around. That was a good start.
"He's not alone," Brian pointed out, placing his hands on Hunter's shoulders and moving in front of Michael's eyesight because Brian doubted Michael had even noticed him. "Hunter's here. He can stay with Ben."
Michael's eyes widened a little when he saw Hunter, so Brian was right. "I don't know..."
"Honey," Ben finally spoke up. "I'll be fine. Just go and take a walk with Brian. He's right, I do need some rest. And Hunter's here if anything happens."
"But-"
"Mikey." Brian's determined voice wafts over from the doorway. "Walk with me. Now."
For a moment Michael glares at Brian and is ready to snap at him, but Brian levels his stare and Michael's shoulders slump.
Muttering and cursing quietly under his breath, Michael gives Ben a quick kiss before following Brian out of the room. Brian winks at the two left behind men before closing the door.
As soon as the door is closed, Hunter turns to Ben with wide eyes. "Wow. He sure knows how to handle Michael."
Ben, still staring at the door his lover and his lover's best friend just walked out of, sighs.
"Yeah." he finally says and he doesn't care if he sounds sad or tired. Maybe even both. "He sure does."
Author: saar_fantasy
Fandom: Queer As Folk
Pairings: Michael/Ben, Brian/Michael eventually (some mentions of Brian/Justin)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through all 5 seasons to be safe
Warnings: Character death (Not Brian or Michael, but still quite a major one)
Disclaimer: I don't own these people in real life. I know...It's very sad.
Summary: After Justin has left to New York, Brian finds himself at a loss with himself. Especially now Michael spends so much time with Ben. He's keen on waiting for Justin to come back, but what if he never will? Then tragedy strikes at the Novotny-Bruckner home and shit starts to hit the fan for real.
A/N: YAY! My Brikey muse is working again! :D
Brian isn't really surprised when he suddenly finds himself parking his car in the parking lot of the hospital, just a few metres away from Michael's.
He steps out of the car and leans his back against it, lighting up a sigaret.
He isn't really sure what to do now. Should he go inside the hospital and find Michael? Or should he give his friend some time with Ben?
Besides, he still doesn't really know what's going on. Only something with his bloodcells, which could only mean that the HIV had spiked up again.
Maybe his meds weren't working the way they should anymore, then the doctors would probably find something else and that would be that.
But what if it wasn't? What if Michael and Ben had made it sound much less than it was?
'That's so like Mikey." Brian thought, closing his eyes and exhaled the smoke of his cigarette.
His train of thoughts went back to a long time ago, at this very same hospital. It seemed like everytime he was here, he got some kind of flashback.
The night Justin got bashed and he called Michael, who was supposed to be on a plane to follow David to wherever the fuck it was, he got a flashback too.
A flashback of a happier time, when Gus was born and he, Michael and Justin were running through the hospital.
Now the flashback was different. Sadder than the first one.
This one was of that night he was sitting in the hallway in that hospital, clutching at that damned silk scarf, Michael next to him.
Michael had been the one who kept him grounded, stopped him from doing something stupid, while they waited for news if Justin was gonna survive or not.
Michael was his rock. The one who kept him grounded. Brian would never have made it without him.
Hell, he would have made an end to his life a long time ago if it wasn't for his Mikey always saving him.
Michael might see him as his hero, but for Brian himself, Michael was just as much the hero as he was. Maybe even more so.
Brian knew he was the one who was the one who always stopped Michael, and himself, from going further than just a kiss or a hug or a little groping at the ass.
Well and that one time Michael grabbed his cock through his jeans in that toilet stall and that time in the Red Cape Comics of course.
But sometimes...Sometimes Brian wished Debbie was wrong about him. That he could be what Michael needed. Be faithful to him and just cherish the bond they share and affection they have for each other.
But it was too late now... Michael was happy with Ben. Much happier than he was with David. Happier than Brian had seen him in a while.
"Brian?"
Brian snapped back to reality and turned his head up to look straight into the questioning gaze of Hunter.
"What are you doing here?"
Brian took another drag from the now long worn out cigarette, then threw the bud to the ground and crushed it with the heel of his shoe. Then he looked over at Hunter with the best fake smile he could muster.
"Well hello to you too, kid."
"Cut the crap already," Hunter said with an eyeroll, "I said: what are you doing here?"
Brian shrugged, Hunter was a smart kid so it would be ridiculous to lie. "I don't know. Ithought Michael could use the support."
Hunter's scrutinizing gaze softened a little. "Yeah. Right now he's holding himself strong, being the hero, you know?"
"Oh, I know." Brian scoffed. "I know better than anyone."
"I thought you would." Then Hunter started walking, looking back over his shoulder, "You coming or not?"
Brian caught up with him in just a second, lucky to have long legs, and easily kept up his stride next to Hunter.
When they came inside they went straight to Ben's room. Hunter already knew the room Ben was in because Michael text it to him earlier, so they didn't have to stop at the nurses' desk. That saved them a lot of time.
When they were only approaching the room, they could already hear Michael puttering around the room, fussing over his husband. Then Ben's voice, asking him to just sit down and try to relax.
That was a good one, Brian thought to himself, as if Michael could relax right now. At least Ben meant well, but, there was more necessary then just some soothing words to get Michael to calm down. Brian knew exactly the way to do so.
"Well, this looks cosy." Brian said as he walked into the room, not even bothering to look around at all. He looked over at Ben and gave a nod. He knew what Ben needed right now. What he and Michael both needed. "Mikey, why don't you and I take a little walk. Bring some drinks back here when we get back."
"I don't have time for a walk."
"No, but you do have time to pace around the room." Brian just raised his eyebrow when Michael glared at him. "Don't you think we should give Ben some time to settle in? You're making him nervous. Hell, you're even making me nervous and I just got here."
"I can't leave him alone right now." At least Michael had stopped walking around. That was a good start.
"He's not alone," Brian pointed out, placing his hands on Hunter's shoulders and moving in front of Michael's eyesight because Brian doubted Michael had even noticed him. "Hunter's here. He can stay with Ben."
Michael's eyes widened a little when he saw Hunter, so Brian was right. "I don't know..."
"Honey," Ben finally spoke up. "I'll be fine. Just go and take a walk with Brian. He's right, I do need some rest. And Hunter's here if anything happens."
"But-"
"Mikey." Brian's determined voice wafts over from the doorway. "Walk with me. Now."
For a moment Michael glares at Brian and is ready to snap at him, but Brian levels his stare and Michael's shoulders slump.
Muttering and cursing quietly under his breath, Michael gives Ben a quick kiss before following Brian out of the room. Brian winks at the two left behind men before closing the door.
As soon as the door is closed, Hunter turns to Ben with wide eyes. "Wow. He sure knows how to handle Michael."
Ben, still staring at the door his lover and his lover's best friend just walked out of, sighs.
"Yeah." he finally says and he doesn't care if he sounds sad or tired. Maybe even both. "He sure does."