The Crazy Little Things Called 'Faith' And 'Destiny'... ~ 1/? ~
Adam was sitting at a little desk in his hotelroom, staring out of the window, pen and paper in front of him, ready to write a letter. He had thought and thought about doing this or not, but finally he decided to do it... He had to put his feelings on paper, so it would take away a little of the thoughts in his head... He just wanted to let him know how he really felt, how he still felt, even after the hectic year that had gone by in which they had barely seen eachother, he still had the right to know how Adam felt about him, and Adam had the right to say it to him. Even if it would turn both of their worlds upside down, this was the right thing to do.
That's when he started writing the letter...
Dear Kris,
( Yeah, I know it sounds too formal but I don't know anything better at the moment, and 'Hey Kris' sounds to casual for what I'm about to write in this letter, so let's keep it at this formal 'Dear Kris' ok? Ofcourse you are ok with it, you always agree with me on these things... )
I'm writing you this letter 'cause I need to get these things of my mind. I know we haven't seen eachother for months now and we mostly talked to eachother through textmessages, but I can't stop thinking about you...
Everytime I hear you on the radio or see you on television, I put the volume up so I don't miss anything you say. You became such a big star and I'm so proud of you! Sure, I'm doing pretty well too, but let's not talk about me this time, I wanna talk about you for a change.
No matter how many times I see you doing an interview you still seem nervous, like it's the first time you're doing it? over and over again. By 'it' I mean the interview and not something else you little pervert! Haha, just kidding, I know you know what I meant but I still haven't learned to stop teasing you. But you love it, I know you do...
Really Kris, you've always amazed me... How you always hugged me on the stage, not caring at all that there were millions of people watching, you just pulled me even closer... Even when those damn pictures of me and Brad came out, you weren't afraid to give me some affection, like a hand or my shoulder or the usual hugs we gave eachother. I must say I was afraid at first... I really was afraid of how you would react to those pictures and being pushed with your nose on the fact that I was, well still am, gay... But you didn't care about it at all 'cause you said " Gay or straight what does it matter? You're an amazing guy and my best friend here on American Idol, that's all that matters to me " You don't know how much that means to me... You're the coolest, most open minded guy I ever met! and I love you...
There, I said it, I.LOVE.YOU...
I know I've said it lots of times, you even said it to me lots of times too, but this time... This time those 3 words have a whole different meaning for me than they had back then.
Back then it were just words, something you say 'cause you're friends and respect eachother, nothing more nothing less...
But now?
Now those 3 words say everything that has been hiding inside my heart for so long now... What I feel, Really feel, for you is so much more than friendship... It goes deeper, far deeper than any other feeling of love I've ever had...
You're a special guy Kris Allen, you really are...
You may not be aware of it, but everyone else is... You're such a talented guy, playing the guitar and the piano, and then that voice... My God, you sing like an angel! I know I know, I'm going all fan-girly on you right now and that's just wrong!
But I do mean it, everytime I hear you sing my heart skips a beat...
Oh man, why am I even telling you all this? I mean, you're married... And if your wife would be like a total bitch, which is not, then I wouldn't feel so bad by telling you this... But now...
I love Katy, I really do and I don't want to be a homewrecker...
But I can't change what I feel for you...
You wanna know why I broke up with Drake?
I broke up with him 'cause I thought it wasn't fair to him that I had feelings for you while he was my boyfriend... I didn't wanna put him through too much pain, so I broke up with him. I think he knows why... He's a smart guy and he knows me so it was pretty obvious for him I guess...
Look, I'm gonna leave it at this 'cause I've probably done enough damage by now... I'm sorry...I really am...
All my love, and even more...
Adam
~~
Adam put the letter into an enveloppe and wrote down Kris address, then he put it in the top drawer of the desk. He didn't know if he would post it, probably not...
He could just leave it there and maybe someone else would find it, probably someone of the cleaning staff of the hotel and throw it away and Kris would never have the chance of reading it... Maybe that was the best thing for both of them... Atleast he did write it down so he felt a little more relaxed, relaxed enough to go to bed and sleep.
He was hoping to wake up the next morning and to forget about the letter, to forget about Kris and all his feelings for him... They would just be thrown away, together with that letter...
If it only was that simple... He would've written that letter months ago and it would've been laying on some refuse-dump by now...
Oh well, life wasn't that simple... Certainly not if your name is Adam Lambert...
That's when he started writing the letter...
Dear Kris,
( Yeah, I know it sounds too formal but I don't know anything better at the moment, and 'Hey Kris' sounds to casual for what I'm about to write in this letter, so let's keep it at this formal 'Dear Kris' ok? Ofcourse you are ok with it, you always agree with me on these things... )
I'm writing you this letter 'cause I need to get these things of my mind. I know we haven't seen eachother for months now and we mostly talked to eachother through textmessages, but I can't stop thinking about you...
Everytime I hear you on the radio or see you on television, I put the volume up so I don't miss anything you say. You became such a big star and I'm so proud of you! Sure, I'm doing pretty well too, but let's not talk about me this time, I wanna talk about you for a change.
No matter how many times I see you doing an interview you still seem nervous, like it's the first time you're doing it? over and over again. By 'it' I mean the interview and not something else you little pervert! Haha, just kidding, I know you know what I meant but I still haven't learned to stop teasing you. But you love it, I know you do...
Really Kris, you've always amazed me... How you always hugged me on the stage, not caring at all that there were millions of people watching, you just pulled me even closer... Even when those damn pictures of me and Brad came out, you weren't afraid to give me some affection, like a hand or my shoulder or the usual hugs we gave eachother. I must say I was afraid at first... I really was afraid of how you would react to those pictures and being pushed with your nose on the fact that I was, well still am, gay... But you didn't care about it at all 'cause you said " Gay or straight what does it matter? You're an amazing guy and my best friend here on American Idol, that's all that matters to me " You don't know how much that means to me... You're the coolest, most open minded guy I ever met! and I love you...
There, I said it, I.LOVE.YOU...
I know I've said it lots of times, you even said it to me lots of times too, but this time... This time those 3 words have a whole different meaning for me than they had back then.
Back then it were just words, something you say 'cause you're friends and respect eachother, nothing more nothing less...
But now?
Now those 3 words say everything that has been hiding inside my heart for so long now... What I feel, Really feel, for you is so much more than friendship... It goes deeper, far deeper than any other feeling of love I've ever had...
You're a special guy Kris Allen, you really are...
You may not be aware of it, but everyone else is... You're such a talented guy, playing the guitar and the piano, and then that voice... My God, you sing like an angel! I know I know, I'm going all fan-girly on you right now and that's just wrong!
But I do mean it, everytime I hear you sing my heart skips a beat...
Oh man, why am I even telling you all this? I mean, you're married... And if your wife would be like a total bitch, which is not, then I wouldn't feel so bad by telling you this... But now...
I love Katy, I really do and I don't want to be a homewrecker...
But I can't change what I feel for you...
You wanna know why I broke up with Drake?
I broke up with him 'cause I thought it wasn't fair to him that I had feelings for you while he was my boyfriend... I didn't wanna put him through too much pain, so I broke up with him. I think he knows why... He's a smart guy and he knows me so it was pretty obvious for him I guess...
Look, I'm gonna leave it at this 'cause I've probably done enough damage by now... I'm sorry...I really am...
All my love, and even more...
Adam
~~
Adam put the letter into an enveloppe and wrote down Kris address, then he put it in the top drawer of the desk. He didn't know if he would post it, probably not...
He could just leave it there and maybe someone else would find it, probably someone of the cleaning staff of the hotel and throw it away and Kris would never have the chance of reading it... Maybe that was the best thing for both of them... Atleast he did write it down so he felt a little more relaxed, relaxed enough to go to bed and sleep.
He was hoping to wake up the next morning and to forget about the letter, to forget about Kris and all his feelings for him... They would just be thrown away, together with that letter...
If it only was that simple... He would've written that letter months ago and it would've been laying on some refuse-dump by now...
Oh well, life wasn't that simple... Certainly not if your name is Adam Lambert...