[multi-chapter] Kimi wo mamoru - Ch.17/???
Title: Kimi wo mamoru (To protect you)
Author: Saana
Pairing: Sakuraiba (main), Junma, Ohmiya (side)
Rating: R and up (for violence and other things probably…)
Genre: yakuza!AU; action, angst, romance
Warning: possible OOCness, violence, minor character death
Disc.: this is a fanfiction, which means I’m a fan and this is fiction
Summary: He never wanted war. He did everything in his power to avoid it but he’ll be dead before he back down from the fight if they threaten him or what’s precious to him…
A/N: I planned and started writing to change the POV of Sho and Aiba which probably be annoying at times but after agonizing over it for some time, I decided I'll stick with it for a while cause I think it gives a certain flavor to the story (or I'm just weird, that's totally possible) But the story is for your enjoyment too so if along the way a lot of you will complain about it, I'll re-write it, I promise
Previous chapters: Prologue ; Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3 ; Chapter 4 ; Chapter 5 ; Chapter 6 ; Chapter 7 ; Chapter 8 ; Chapter 9 ; Chapter 10 ; Chapter 11; Chapter 12 ; Chapter 13 ; Chapter 14 ; Chapter 15 ; Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Sho stirred, eyes blinking open slowly, realizing with slight embarrassment that he dozed off. He couldn't keep the soft smile that crept on his face when the first thing he saw upon opening his eyes, was Masaki's angelic sleeping face. As he looked at the still sleeping figure in his arms, and felt strange bliss washing over him for experiencing how it feels to wake up with the younger man next to him. He felt giddy with this warm emotion that kept bubbling up in his chest.
It'd be way past time to get some food into Masaki by the time he'll wake up and Sho felt he could use some food too, if he wanted to be honest. So he kissed Masaki’s lips, cheeks and forehead feather-like before getting up, careful not to awake the other man and got dressed quickly to set out on his self-assigned quest.
He felt strangely light and free from any worries which rarely happened with him. He wanted to treasure it for as long as he could. Luckily he was able to enjoy it for a short while as the halls where empty from his room to the kitchen. Just as he expected from his men, he thought proudly. But his solitude only lasted till he reached his destination. Cause there sat Ohno at the kitchen island, a cup of steaming coffee before him and another waiting for Sho - according to Ohno's gesture he made when he saw his leader entering.
“I was wondering when you will appear finally...” Ohno said calmly.
Sho gave him a long look, trying to decide whether his friend tried to tease him or he was serious. With his blank face, it was hard to determine. So instead trying to find out what was on his friend’s mind, Sho took his coffee and walked over to the fridge to assess what can he bring up to Masaki.
“Any news about Toma?” he asked, deciding to ignore Ohno's comment for the time being.
“His knee got pretty messed up. Shun-sensei had to operate him. Toma will need an awful long physical therapy but he'll be able to walk again” Ohno reported dutifully.
Sho nodded at his. He heard the same relief in his lieutenant’s voice that he felt. He still felt guilty over what happened. But he shook off these thoughts quickly. ‘What if’s and ‘if only’s were only good to distract you from your path and get you killed. Fast. And that was exactly what Sho could not allow himself. Not now, not ever.
“I’m guessing Jun’s still with him” he said instead of voicing his doubts.
“You can bet on that” Ohno said chuckling a bit.
“He can have the rest of today but I want him back here by tonight. Toma is safe and in good hands where he is now. We'll bring him home as soon as Shun allows it” Sho ordered.
He knew very well that Jun will throw a fit like a toddler when he hears about his order and Sho could understand his feelings of wanting to stay by his boyfriend's side but right now was not the time he could indulge in such wishes or could spare a man like Jun. It was bad enough he lost Toma for now. He needed all his men he could trust...
Ohno just nodded at the order and Sho knew he could trust him with handling a fussy Jun.
Sho finished his coffee and in the meantime he gathered a few things on a tray. When he was finished he finally looked straight at Ohno.
“Any special reason you were waiting for me?” he asked though he was sure there was a reason. He knew Ohno well enough for that so it was time for him to speak up.
His lieutenant pursed his lips together for a moment, searching for the right words.
“Kazu...” he started.
Sho's eyebrow shot up at this immediately. He was pretty sure there was no one under the name ‘Kazu’ in his household. Ohno rolled his eyes at Sho.
“Nino might have or might have not caused some trouble for us...” he said finally.
Sho stared at his man. He wasn't sure what bothered him more after hearing this statement. Was it that he didn’t really wanted to know why his most trusted lieutenant was on such an intimate level with someone who was - or for all they knew is still - connected to his biggest rival? Or was it that he dreaded to know that brat could’ve done that made even Ohno worried enough to want to give Sho the heads-up...?
“Can I trust you that you did everything in order to avoid the worst and to keep him under tighter supervision from now on?” Sho asked frowning. “Or should I assign someone else for it? Someone who would actually do the work? It’s not typical of you to be careless like this… Do I need to remind you who he is? To whom does he belong to?” Sho asked reeling himself up more and more with each question. He trusted Ohno more than anyone in the clan. In the world! The mere thought that he might have to reconsider this trust he put in him, both killed and enraged Sho.
“You know I would never betray you!” Ohno said forcefully, jumping from his seat. He fumed with anger by the accusation. “Also, Nino doesn’t belong to anyone but himself! He didn't mean to mess with you! Not everyone is your enemy in this world! Don’t be so judgmental when you didn’t even make the slightest effort to actually know him or talk to him at least! He’s not who you think he it! He just… had to do this...” he finished almost silently.
‘He’s not who you think he is... His only fault is to be stupidly loyal to me...’ Sho remembered Masaki’s words from just a few nights ago.
He tried to calm himself down enough to think clearly. Ohno was right, as usual. He was being judgmental. Even worse. After him and Masaki just… How could he say those things?! If Nino would’ve wanted to harm them, he had the perfect opportunity to lead them into a trap last night. Or to simply shoot them when Ohno was fool and trusting enough to give him a gun...
Yeah, okay, Ohno is right, he should actually talk to Nino probably… ‘Soon’ Sho decided.
Masaki woke up for the second time in the darkened room. But this time the room was empty. He couldn't stop the dejected feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach as he noted Sho’s absence. ‘It's okay... You prepared for this, Masaki... It'll be okay...’ he thought, trying to push back the panic that was rising in his chest. But actually he had to realize that he wasn't prepared. He wasn’t prepared at all. Not after what they shared with Sho. Because Masaki was sure he saw the same feelings reflected on Sho's face what he felt while they’ve... made love... He was sure he heard Sho saying ‘I love you’ before he kissed him. He was sure these things were real and not just the figment of his imagination!
Masaki blushed deeply at the memories despite his depressed feelings. Swallowing back his emotions that threatened to overflow, he reached for his clothes to get dressed and escape this room. He would rather avoid any awkward situation that would most probably come if he kept sitting here like this…
“You're awake already”
Masaki gasped surprised at Sho's voice. He didn’t hear when the man came in. He stole a quick glance at him but he could read nothing from his face.
“Yeah... Sorry, I just get dressed and I won't bother you any longer...” he mumbled lowering his head. This was exactly he wanted to avoid…
“No!”
Masaki froze at this order, looking up at Sho with wide eyes. The clan leader seemed to be just as frozen as Masaki felt himself. Slight blush was tainting Sho’s cheeks or maybe just the shadows tricked Masaki’s sight. He wasn’t sure.
“I mean… It’s not an order… You don’t have to stay if you… I won’t force you to anything but… I would like it if… if you’d stay and… eat with me…” Sho never felt as stupid as he did at this very moment. Hell, he was more confident than this even in his teenage years! Then why does he have to turn into a stuttering idiot right now in front of Masaki of all people?!
Masaki blushed deeply, happily at these words.
“I’d… like that very much…” he whispered, earning a huge grin from Sho.
The older man approached him and put the tray in front of him. Then after he got a nod to his whispered ‘May I…?’ he settled behind Masaki, pulling him close to his chest. When he saw Masaki reaching for the coffee mug first, he tried to suppress his happy chuckle by pressing his lips to Masaki’s bare shoulder where the shirt was slipping off. Maybe they had more in common than he would thought at first…
But Sho’s grin quickly turned into a frown when he noticed the jittery movements as Masaki tried tugging on his shirt sleeve that kept slipping back every time he raised the cup to his lips, uncovering the tattoo on his forearm. Sho reached for his hand and entwined their fingers to keep Masaki still.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to hide anymore. It’s part of you and I accept you for who you are, not for your family…Not for where you came from…”
“Still… I lied to you. All of you. How can you be okay with that?...” Masaki whispered lowering his head. Now he was hating the mark for even more reasons than he did before. He hated that with every passing day, more and more ugly memories got linked to the tattoo on his arm. It made him even more ashamed of himself. For lying… For taking advantage of Sho’s kindness… For his family… For being whom he was… “I don’t deserve you to be this nice to me…”
Sho remained silent. Masaki’s words just made him realize that the younger man was dealing with way more baggage than Sho would’ve ever guessed. He also had to realize that he hardly had any idea how to mend him. So he just tightened his hold on Masaki’s waist, hoping beyond hope that his presence would be enough for now. That Masaki would understand how much he wished he could help him, that he would shoulder all his burdens if only he could…
“Why did he do this to you?” he whispered after they ate in silence for a while.
Masaki was startled by the question, almost spilling coffee on himself. His grip tightened on the mug until his knuckles turned white and his hands were shaking hard and the liquid got sloshing around in it.
“Because I’m a murderer… I killed my mother…”
A/N: Please forgive me for returning for one update only for a week but I'm getting all too busy at work and I'm just too drained to properly work on my fic when I got home 😫 I'm already counting the days to my vacation in June 🤣 Though hopefully I won't drag this fic until then. I pretty much had the rest of the story worked out, please bear with it until the end 😊😘
Author: Saana
Pairing: Sakuraiba (main), Junma, Ohmiya (side)
Rating: R and up (for violence and other things probably…)
Genre: yakuza!AU; action, angst, romance
Warning: possible OOCness, violence, minor character death
Disc.: this is a fanfiction, which means I’m a fan and this is fiction
Summary: He never wanted war. He did everything in his power to avoid it but he’ll be dead before he back down from the fight if they threaten him or what’s precious to him…
A/N: I planned and started writing to change the POV of Sho and Aiba which probably be annoying at times but after agonizing over it for some time, I decided I'll stick with it for a while cause I think it gives a certain flavor to the story (or I'm just weird, that's totally possible) But the story is for your enjoyment too so if along the way a lot of you will complain about it, I'll re-write it, I promise
Previous chapters: Prologue ; Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3 ; Chapter 4 ; Chapter 5 ; Chapter 6 ; Chapter 7 ; Chapter 8 ; Chapter 9 ; Chapter 10 ; Chapter 11; Chapter 12 ; Chapter 13 ; Chapter 14 ; Chapter 15 ; Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Sho stirred, eyes blinking open slowly, realizing with slight embarrassment that he dozed off. He couldn't keep the soft smile that crept on his face when the first thing he saw upon opening his eyes, was Masaki's angelic sleeping face. As he looked at the still sleeping figure in his arms, and felt strange bliss washing over him for experiencing how it feels to wake up with the younger man next to him. He felt giddy with this warm emotion that kept bubbling up in his chest.
It'd be way past time to get some food into Masaki by the time he'll wake up and Sho felt he could use some food too, if he wanted to be honest. So he kissed Masaki’s lips, cheeks and forehead feather-like before getting up, careful not to awake the other man and got dressed quickly to set out on his self-assigned quest.
He felt strangely light and free from any worries which rarely happened with him. He wanted to treasure it for as long as he could. Luckily he was able to enjoy it for a short while as the halls where empty from his room to the kitchen. Just as he expected from his men, he thought proudly. But his solitude only lasted till he reached his destination. Cause there sat Ohno at the kitchen island, a cup of steaming coffee before him and another waiting for Sho - according to Ohno's gesture he made when he saw his leader entering.
“I was wondering when you will appear finally...” Ohno said calmly.
Sho gave him a long look, trying to decide whether his friend tried to tease him or he was serious. With his blank face, it was hard to determine. So instead trying to find out what was on his friend’s mind, Sho took his coffee and walked over to the fridge to assess what can he bring up to Masaki.
“Any news about Toma?” he asked, deciding to ignore Ohno's comment for the time being.
“His knee got pretty messed up. Shun-sensei had to operate him. Toma will need an awful long physical therapy but he'll be able to walk again” Ohno reported dutifully.
Sho nodded at his. He heard the same relief in his lieutenant’s voice that he felt. He still felt guilty over what happened. But he shook off these thoughts quickly. ‘What if’s and ‘if only’s were only good to distract you from your path and get you killed. Fast. And that was exactly what Sho could not allow himself. Not now, not ever.
“I’m guessing Jun’s still with him” he said instead of voicing his doubts.
“You can bet on that” Ohno said chuckling a bit.
“He can have the rest of today but I want him back here by tonight. Toma is safe and in good hands where he is now. We'll bring him home as soon as Shun allows it” Sho ordered.
He knew very well that Jun will throw a fit like a toddler when he hears about his order and Sho could understand his feelings of wanting to stay by his boyfriend's side but right now was not the time he could indulge in such wishes or could spare a man like Jun. It was bad enough he lost Toma for now. He needed all his men he could trust...
Ohno just nodded at the order and Sho knew he could trust him with handling a fussy Jun.
Sho finished his coffee and in the meantime he gathered a few things on a tray. When he was finished he finally looked straight at Ohno.
“Any special reason you were waiting for me?” he asked though he was sure there was a reason. He knew Ohno well enough for that so it was time for him to speak up.
His lieutenant pursed his lips together for a moment, searching for the right words.
“Kazu...” he started.
Sho's eyebrow shot up at this immediately. He was pretty sure there was no one under the name ‘Kazu’ in his household. Ohno rolled his eyes at Sho.
“Nino might have or might have not caused some trouble for us...” he said finally.
Sho stared at his man. He wasn't sure what bothered him more after hearing this statement. Was it that he didn’t really wanted to know why his most trusted lieutenant was on such an intimate level with someone who was - or for all they knew is still - connected to his biggest rival? Or was it that he dreaded to know that brat could’ve done that made even Ohno worried enough to want to give Sho the heads-up...?
“Can I trust you that you did everything in order to avoid the worst and to keep him under tighter supervision from now on?” Sho asked frowning. “Or should I assign someone else for it? Someone who would actually do the work? It’s not typical of you to be careless like this… Do I need to remind you who he is? To whom does he belong to?” Sho asked reeling himself up more and more with each question. He trusted Ohno more than anyone in the clan. In the world! The mere thought that he might have to reconsider this trust he put in him, both killed and enraged Sho.
“You know I would never betray you!” Ohno said forcefully, jumping from his seat. He fumed with anger by the accusation. “Also, Nino doesn’t belong to anyone but himself! He didn't mean to mess with you! Not everyone is your enemy in this world! Don’t be so judgmental when you didn’t even make the slightest effort to actually know him or talk to him at least! He’s not who you think he it! He just… had to do this...” he finished almost silently.
‘He’s not who you think he is... His only fault is to be stupidly loyal to me...’ Sho remembered Masaki’s words from just a few nights ago.
He tried to calm himself down enough to think clearly. Ohno was right, as usual. He was being judgmental. Even worse. After him and Masaki just… How could he say those things?! If Nino would’ve wanted to harm them, he had the perfect opportunity to lead them into a trap last night. Or to simply shoot them when Ohno was fool and trusting enough to give him a gun...
Yeah, okay, Ohno is right, he should actually talk to Nino probably… ‘Soon’ Sho decided.
Masaki woke up for the second time in the darkened room. But this time the room was empty. He couldn't stop the dejected feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach as he noted Sho’s absence. ‘It's okay... You prepared for this, Masaki... It'll be okay...’ he thought, trying to push back the panic that was rising in his chest. But actually he had to realize that he wasn't prepared. He wasn’t prepared at all. Not after what they shared with Sho. Because Masaki was sure he saw the same feelings reflected on Sho's face what he felt while they’ve... made love... He was sure he heard Sho saying ‘I love you’ before he kissed him. He was sure these things were real and not just the figment of his imagination!
Masaki blushed deeply at the memories despite his depressed feelings. Swallowing back his emotions that threatened to overflow, he reached for his clothes to get dressed and escape this room. He would rather avoid any awkward situation that would most probably come if he kept sitting here like this…
“You're awake already”
Masaki gasped surprised at Sho's voice. He didn’t hear when the man came in. He stole a quick glance at him but he could read nothing from his face.
“Yeah... Sorry, I just get dressed and I won't bother you any longer...” he mumbled lowering his head. This was exactly he wanted to avoid…
“No!”
Masaki froze at this order, looking up at Sho with wide eyes. The clan leader seemed to be just as frozen as Masaki felt himself. Slight blush was tainting Sho’s cheeks or maybe just the shadows tricked Masaki’s sight. He wasn’t sure.
“I mean… It’s not an order… You don’t have to stay if you… I won’t force you to anything but… I would like it if… if you’d stay and… eat with me…” Sho never felt as stupid as he did at this very moment. Hell, he was more confident than this even in his teenage years! Then why does he have to turn into a stuttering idiot right now in front of Masaki of all people?!
Masaki blushed deeply, happily at these words.
“I’d… like that very much…” he whispered, earning a huge grin from Sho.
The older man approached him and put the tray in front of him. Then after he got a nod to his whispered ‘May I…?’ he settled behind Masaki, pulling him close to his chest. When he saw Masaki reaching for the coffee mug first, he tried to suppress his happy chuckle by pressing his lips to Masaki’s bare shoulder where the shirt was slipping off. Maybe they had more in common than he would thought at first…
But Sho’s grin quickly turned into a frown when he noticed the jittery movements as Masaki tried tugging on his shirt sleeve that kept slipping back every time he raised the cup to his lips, uncovering the tattoo on his forearm. Sho reached for his hand and entwined their fingers to keep Masaki still.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to hide anymore. It’s part of you and I accept you for who you are, not for your family…Not for where you came from…”
“Still… I lied to you. All of you. How can you be okay with that?...” Masaki whispered lowering his head. Now he was hating the mark for even more reasons than he did before. He hated that with every passing day, more and more ugly memories got linked to the tattoo on his arm. It made him even more ashamed of himself. For lying… For taking advantage of Sho’s kindness… For his family… For being whom he was… “I don’t deserve you to be this nice to me…”
Sho remained silent. Masaki’s words just made him realize that the younger man was dealing with way more baggage than Sho would’ve ever guessed. He also had to realize that he hardly had any idea how to mend him. So he just tightened his hold on Masaki’s waist, hoping beyond hope that his presence would be enough for now. That Masaki would understand how much he wished he could help him, that he would shoulder all his burdens if only he could…
“Why did he do this to you?” he whispered after they ate in silence for a while.
Masaki was startled by the question, almost spilling coffee on himself. His grip tightened on the mug until his knuckles turned white and his hands were shaking hard and the liquid got sloshing around in it.
“Because I’m a murderer… I killed my mother…”
A/N: Please forgive me for returning for one update only for a week but I'm getting all too busy at work and I'm just too drained to properly work on my fic when I got home 😫 I'm already counting the days to my vacation in June 🤣 Though hopefully I won't drag this fic until then. I pretty much had the rest of the story worked out, please bear with it until the end 😊😘