(no subject)
there has been so much going on lately...i dunno even where to start.
so i had 2 different doctor appointments this week. one was with a ENT and well that appointment didn't go so good. my family doctor thought my headaches could be 2 different things so he refered me to a neurologist and a ENT. well the ENT didn't feel the headaches had anything to do with allergies or sinuses. but he did find a great deal of scar tissue in my sinuses so he is sending me to get a cat scan of my head to get a better look of them but he is pretty sure i am gonna need surgery again to remove it. i am a nervous wreck over that. so yeah that appointment was on monday. then i had a neruologist appointment on wednesday to talk about the medication i was on...which isn't working because my headaches have progressed to everyday and are getting worse. well she increased the dose of both medications im on and decided i was a canidate to begin a IV treatment weekly. it will be one hour every week. im not sure how many weeks tho. i guess i should be happy about it, but im not. im just so sick of all the medical crap. i don't want to be sick anymore. lately getting out of bed has been so hard...
on top of all the medical garbage...things here at home are so bad. saturday night was so horrible. my jerk of a unwanted husband decided to get ridiculously drunk and just way out of hand and extemly abusive in so many ways. he said some of the most hurtful things i have ever heard in my entire life. i think the part that sucked the most is that half of them were true but the way he put them was so mean...he rubbed it in my face how my parents don't love me and how i don't have anyone, how worthless i am because im a high school drop out with no job or anything, then so much more. then he proceeded to tell me about some girl that he's been messin around with. on top of that i already feel so freakin self concious about my body and everything and he only made that worse. i dunno he said so many things...i keep hearing that whole night over and over in my head like some bad record or something. i tried to leave but he kept pulling and throwing me everywhere...it was literally one of the worst nights of my life...one just to add to the many bad days.
well talking about that made me feel really sad and down and now i feel like dieing even more then i did when i signed on...how pathetic is that? i feel pathetic myself. man this blows. well im done...ill update more later.
so i had 2 different doctor appointments this week. one was with a ENT and well that appointment didn't go so good. my family doctor thought my headaches could be 2 different things so he refered me to a neurologist and a ENT. well the ENT didn't feel the headaches had anything to do with allergies or sinuses. but he did find a great deal of scar tissue in my sinuses so he is sending me to get a cat scan of my head to get a better look of them but he is pretty sure i am gonna need surgery again to remove it. i am a nervous wreck over that. so yeah that appointment was on monday. then i had a neruologist appointment on wednesday to talk about the medication i was on...which isn't working because my headaches have progressed to everyday and are getting worse. well she increased the dose of both medications im on and decided i was a canidate to begin a IV treatment weekly. it will be one hour every week. im not sure how many weeks tho. i guess i should be happy about it, but im not. im just so sick of all the medical crap. i don't want to be sick anymore. lately getting out of bed has been so hard...
on top of all the medical garbage...things here at home are so bad. saturday night was so horrible. my jerk of a unwanted husband decided to get ridiculously drunk and just way out of hand and extemly abusive in so many ways. he said some of the most hurtful things i have ever heard in my entire life. i think the part that sucked the most is that half of them were true but the way he put them was so mean...he rubbed it in my face how my parents don't love me and how i don't have anyone, how worthless i am because im a high school drop out with no job or anything, then so much more. then he proceeded to tell me about some girl that he's been messin around with. on top of that i already feel so freakin self concious about my body and everything and he only made that worse. i dunno he said so many things...i keep hearing that whole night over and over in my head like some bad record or something. i tried to leave but he kept pulling and throwing me everywhere...it was literally one of the worst nights of my life...one just to add to the many bad days.
well talking about that made me feel really sad and down and now i feel like dieing even more then i did when i signed on...how pathetic is that? i feel pathetic myself. man this blows. well im done...ill update more later.