My version of the inauguration speech (madlibs style!)
My fellow Americans, today is a ginormous day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "bulldog", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually google.
Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces lacivioius and muscular challenges like never before. Our economy is indecent. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for strippers. Our healthcare system is worn-out. If your uterus is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a venture capitalist. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a rusty ipod. But skipping along together we can right this ship, and set a course for Alpha Centuri.
Finally, I must thank my gut-wrenching family, my irresistable campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the queers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of screwing the American people. Without your spotty efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Via
Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces lacivioius and muscular challenges like never before. Our economy is indecent. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for strippers. Our healthcare system is worn-out. If your uterus is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a venture capitalist. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a rusty ipod. But skipping along together we can right this ship, and set a course for Alpha Centuri.
Finally, I must thank my gut-wrenching family, my irresistable campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the queers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of screwing the American people. Without your spotty efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Via