Expose: The REAL Melissa Frain
Melissa Frain, the acclaimed co-author of Amorwood and the well known climbingvine22 on livejournal is anything but what she seems! Known as Queen of the Night, Don Frainatelli, and El Chupacabra, just the mention of her name inspires terror in small children!
In a conversation with her today, I was finally able to confront her, thanks to something she'd said while switching livejournals to avoid the FBI. "So...I see that you say you're not into the Harry Potter fandom anymore." I said, trembling, but still willing to push on for the truth. "It's because JKR announced Dumbledore is gay, isn't it?"
"You're right." she declared unabashedly. "You caught me."
She later admitted to what she really does for a living, and it's not working at Tor! Instead, everyday she ventures in the morning down to Broadway to heckle the dancers.
Scared for my life for uncovering so much, I ran to my source who wishes to remain unnamed. "I don't want her to steal my first born." he said.
"Does she eat babies?" I asked. "Or use them for Satanic rituals?" But the answer was much worse than I was expecting.
"No." He said. "She vampirizes them for her army of the night."
After some more research I was able to uncover that she was, in fact, using these vampire babies to terrorize several small towns in Romania, as well as other parts of Easter Europe. The people are terrified.
My source also revealed that she has fathered over a billion illegitimate children, and that every winter she summons a frost that lasts for three months, destroying crops and causing endless trouble for farmers and people who dislike the cold.
"She also wrote the screenplay to Glitter." my source stated.
Desiring money and wine to fuel her alcoholism, she soon used her connections to rise to the top of the Italian mob. She now runs every vinyard in Italy, and she's running the grape farmers raw, forcing them to work long hours so that she can destroy her liver.
Since the problems with her kidneys were well documented, we all know that she will just dig up the corpse of a nun to get a new liver while also robbing the grave.
In Mexico, she sucks the blood from goats in order to keep herself young and beautiful and instills fear in the hearts of the locals who describe her true appearance as a hideous monster.
Finally, it has been speculated, though not confirmed, that she feasts on the bones of small children and is responsible for every missing child since 1985. It is believed she made her clothing, as well as her brother and her sister, and several of her cousins, from the remaining husks of skin.
She also killed off JFK and Martin Luther King because she didn't like their shoes. When she's bored, she drowns kittens and tears the heads off of little girls dolls while they watch. Then she shoves the heads inside fish and flushes hamsters down the toilet.
She owns a prostitution ring, famous for its high death rate and forced drug use where she sells her many "wives" for $10 an hour.
Thus, now that I have exposed the truth, I do not expect to live long, even hiding in the bowels of the African Congo as I am. I'm sure that any day now, a giant prehistoric ape-like-God creature from Hell will find me and tear me limb from limb, bringing her only my heart which she will feed to puppies before she kills them. However, the world had to know the truth about the REAL Melissa Frain.