Oneshot - On Impulse
ON IMPULSE
To say he’d been expecting it, it happened when he least expected it and when he was least prepared for it. All week, no, all month he had had the nagging feeling that the steadily increasing workload his sonofabitch boss was giving him, the night shifts in Kame’s café and the endless stream of less than supportive phone calls, and e-mails from the gorgons he called parents were going to tip him over the edge. Soon enough his patience would run out and he’d snap, loose his mind, and do something stupid.
And he was right.
He had been sitting at his desk in his study in the cramped apartment he had moved to in order to avoid his sister’s visits every other day, slowly chipping away at the mountain of work he’d been given the previous day.
I’m not a fucking proof-reader, I’m not an accountant, I’m a fucking designer, why give me this shitload of paperwork on top of four different advertising projects.
His job description read: Visual Concept Designer. He came up with the ideas for adverts, for TV, magazines, subway posters and billboards, you name it. The company hooked in a client and a description of their ‘product’ and the order for a good looking advertisement landed on his desk. Of course, he wasn’t the only one. There was Sakurai and Matsumoto too, they were all landed with multiple projects at a time, but for some reason his bastard boss had decided that any paperwork he didn’t have time to do (read: was too much of a worthless slob to even look at) should be done by him.
Not to mention the fact that every time he spoke to his parents the conversation always touched on three main issues: why don’t you have a real job? Why aren’t you married? Why don’t you spend time with your sister? Basically translated as: why didn’t you stay here and take over your father’s job? Are you gay? Why doesn’t your sister have any good information to tell us?
The answers being: Because I hate fish. Yes. Because I want you all to leave me the fuck alone.
Kame kept telling him he didn’t have to help out when he had such a heavy workload, he could ask Junno to help out on more nights, or hire more staff. But he always told him, he liked helping out, that kind of work was more fun than the truckload of paper that was dumped on him every day, if he didn’t like designing so much he’d quit and make Kame hire him. Plus, Kame couldn’t afford too many more workers and Junno had his own stuff to be doing on the nights he worked.
However, no matter how much he convinced Kame and Junno he was alright, he knew, was fully aware that he wouldn’t be able to happily go along with all this crap much longer.
I, Ueda Tatsuya, am losing my mind.
What he didn’t expect was for his brain to snap when it did: during a fire alarm.
That morning he had pulled on a random pair of jeans and a t-shirt so as not to terrify any little old ladies when he took out the rubbish.
After taking out the rubbish he had settled back at his desk and continued with the daunting pile of paperwork that had been hoisted off onto him by his sonofabitch boss. Sitting at the desk, casting sidelong glances out of the window to his right at the flawless weather he had grudgingly managed to work through half the pile, though he really did wonder how, as half of it not only had nothing to do with him or his department, but concerned matters he’d never heard of.
His boss should really be the one filling these out, if he got them wrong somehow the department, or even the company could get into some serious trouble. He gave a bitter sigh, shoving his glasses up his nose and leaning closer to the paper. He had had a headache for the past week, his hands kept shaking whenever they weren’t focused on drawing or writing, his sleep was shallow and full of unidentifiable shadows that for all their lack of shape and apparent meaning never managed to wake him several times in the night before he gave a tired groan and rolled over, wishing for sleep.
Tatsuya sighed against the paper as he scribbled, filling in boxes writing report summaries, and working on his four pending projects.
He was just over halfway through the ominous pile of paper when the most ungodly sound wailed through his apartment loud and urgent enough the make the papers and book in his study shiver. He looked up at the ceiling, briefly asking whatever higher power with a sick sense of humour that was currently grinning down at his suffering why exactly they hated him so much.
Gritting his teeth as the incessant wailing continued to burn his ears and exacerbate the throbbing in his head Tatsuya shuffled into the hallways, sitting heavily on the step and pulling on a pair of battered backless sandals, and a grey cardigan. It had been beautifully sunny lately, but the wind was still strong.
He trudged down the stairs with everyone else who was still at home, down the open air stairs, away from the building and over the road to stand on the grass verge that surrounded the car park of whatever building it was face the apartment block from the other side of the road.
Once there Tatsuya shoved his hands into his pockets and crouched down, leaning forward on his bent knees, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet.
Not that he seriously wanted to be reunited with that mother load of work again, but being wrenched from the his apartment by the fire alarm, and most likely because some brainless fool had burnt his toast, seriously grated on his already frayed and frazzled nerves.
He stared at the building, which was obviously in no immediate danger of being swallowed by relentless, unstoppable flames, and wondered why the hell it took so long for some official person or other to go in, locate the place the alarm had first been triggered, check there was no actual fire and shut the damn noise off.
Even over here, on the grass, which curled over the front of his open toes footwear and teased the tips of his toes, the sun gentle warming his head and shoulders even as the wind danced with his bangs, making him squint to prevent the hair getting into his eyes, even here he could hear that horrible sound!
He stared, his eyes hard, at the building over the street, the wailing of the fire alarm still crying in the walls…and snapped.
Suddenly he straightened up in one fluid movement, his hands still in his pockets, gripping his keys, and turned to his right, setting off at a brisk but aimless walk.
He reached the end of the street and turned left, he never usually had much occasion to go this way, there wasn’t much in this direction, his office and the town centre were the other way, this way there were a couple of small family owned businesses, like barbers, tae-out places, a dentists, a petrol station and…a park.
A look of grim determination without cause adorned his features as he walked. Technically what he was doing was stupid, he had nothing but his keys, he wasn’t actually entirely sure where he was going or what he was going to do, but he didn’t care because he needed this: complete lack of plan and purpose, freedom to just move in a direction along a newly discovered road that wasn’t lined with work, responsibilities and guilt tripping parents.
He walked for quite a while, taking turns at random, not even knowing he was going to turn down a new street until he was already halfway through actually making the turn. He was vaguely sure there was a park of some sort in the general direction he was heading but he had made so many turns he couldn’t be entirely sure…until he reached the end of a side street and over the road to opened onto was the playing field of a park, and from what he could tell by what was visible beyond the playing field it wasn’t exactly a small neighbourhood type of place.
Crossing the street he located the gate and wandered inside following the path around the field and between the trees, under a bridge, around a set of basketball courts, a building that looked like some kind of sports club house but was locked and empty and practically sagging under the weight of a hundred or more cobwebs.
It took more than fifteen minutes to walk all the paths of the park, Tatsuya walked fairly slowly, taking everything in, loving the sight of the trees and bushed and flowers, feeling suddenly more relaxed than he had in god knows how long.
Though as he came full circle, walking the path alongside the playing field again he bit his lip as he suddenly realised that he couldn’t for the life of him remember how he had reached the park or how he should go about finding his way back. He realised he should be far more worried than he was, but he couldn’t actually muster up that kind of flurried emotion. He felt drained yet light, if he stayed here forever, merging with the park itself that would be just fine…
Tatsuya sighed and sat down in the shadow of a lone tree on a grassy slope that overlooked the whole grassy area, hugging his knees as he watched middle school boys running around chasing a ball and tripping over each other, giggling and laughing helplessly, safely enveloped in their free youth. They might not consider it free, their parents made the rules, there were so many things they couldn’t do, and yet they didn’t have things to worry about the way their parents did, the way anybody over the age of twenty did…
He sighed again and lifted one hand from around his knees to run a slightly shaking hand through his hair. Even if he felt more relaxed now, his hands still shook, his headache was still there. He pushed up his glasses before resting his hand on his knee to rest the jittering nerves.
A shadow chose that moment to snake over the sunlit grass to stop in front of his, just outside the circle of protective shadow cast by the widespread branches and their abundance of leaves. Tatsuya looked up to see a guy that must have been just a little younger than him, in jeans a hoodie and heavy looking boots, a bandana tied around his head like a sweatband.
“Hey, are you okay?” Tatsuya was startled by the question.
“E-Eh? Of course I’m okay!” he said, his voice slightly more shrill than usual. Mentally he smacked himself over the head. Sure Tatsuya, he thought, that sounded convincing, why is it you don’t have a career in the secret service again?
The guy tipped his head on one side as he looked at him and Tatsuya averted his eyes, tightening his hold on his knees, feeling a little uncomfortable under this guy’s gaze, it was intense and piercing and somehow seemed, auspiciously all-knowing, like he could figure out exactly what was wrong, why Tatsuya was here, how he’d gotten here, and what had happened.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Cos I thought you kinda looked like you were going to cry,” Tatsuya looked up sharply, somewhat annoyed by that, as if he would have cried, he didn’t want to cry at all, was that supposed to be some kind of insult? He rose to his feet, looking down at the other guy from where he stood, elevated on the slope.
“Why the hell would you think that? I’m not a girl you know!”
“Yeah, I can tell! But you sure as hell look like one! Too bad you’re not gentle like one!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, to start arguing with someone who was just concerned about you! You don’t even know me!”
“And you don’t know me! Who the hell just walks up to someone and says they look like they’re going to cry!?”
“I was trying to be compassionate, if you were a girl you’d probably have strated crying already! But you’re a guy so instead you started yelling!”
“I’m not the only one yelling, and I’m only yelling because some stranger just came up to me and told me I look like a girl!”
“Only after you got so mad at me just for trying to be a good person!”
“well how would you react if someone suddenly came up and told you they thought you were going to cry!”
“Try laughing! Feels a hell of a lot better than yelling! When the hell was the last time you laughed anyway? Damn you’re uptight, what are you an OL?”
Tatsuya suddenly realised his hands were clenched into weak fists at his sides and he was glaring down at the guy in front of him, who was glaring right back, his own hands balled into similar fists. His glare slowly slid away, to the mild surprise of the guy in front of him who also stopped glaring to look at him oddly, waiting for whatever came next…
Tatsuya uncurled his hands and raised one to his face, pushing his fingers up through his bangs, his shoulders shaking slightly. After a moment he chanced a glance at the guy who had suddenly appeared before him, who was still looking at him in mild confusion.
And as suddenly as their argument had started, their laughter began. Tatsuya doubled over, leaning one hand on his knee, curling his other arm around his stomach as he laughed. Through the tears that gathered in his eyes he saw the guy sink to one knee, his palm flat in the grass as he laughed along with him.
After a moment they both straightened up, still laughing a little, whipping the tears from the corners of their eyes. Tatsuya took a deep breath and descended the small slope, stopping in front of the stranger who had appeared before him.
“I’m sorry, I guess I over-reacted,”
“It’s fine, I can be kind of blunt sometimes, but then maybe I hit the nail on the head, when was the last time you laughed?” Tatsuya smiled a little sadly, he had no idea.
“I honestly don’t remember,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. He sighed again and held out his hand.
“I’m Ueda Tatsuya,” with a grin his hands was accepted and shaken firmly.
“Tanaka Koki,”
“Well, Tanaka-san, I’m sorry I yelled at you, thanks for caring though,” Koki made a face.
“Tanaka-san sounds old! Call me Koki, I don’t think I know of anyone who calls me by my family name,” Tatsuya smiled.
“Then, you can call me Tatsuya,” Koki gave him a cheeky smile and looked at him pointedly.
“Tatsuya…are you lost?” Tatsuya sighed and ran both hand through his hair.
“If I said yes would you laugh again?” he asked in a way that clearly stated that he was indeed hopelessly lost.
“Maybe, maybe I’d ask which way you came from and where you live and help you find your way back,” Tatsuya looked up at him in surprise. Koki grinned at him, poking his tongue through his teeth, somehow giving him the image of someone far younger and more carefree, but Tatsuya could tell, he wasn’t so much younger than him. Why was it he seemed so relaxed while Tatsuya was only even in the park to begin with because he snapped under the pressure and stress of an inhuman workload?
He bit his lips suddenly, shoving his hands into his pockets as he thought of the work still waiting to be completed when he got back…
When he got back…
“Well, maybe I don’t even want to go back yet,” he murmured. Koki tipped his head onto one side as he watched him.
“Something happen?” he asked lightly.
“My boss is an overbearing yet incompetent sack of shit that piles his own important workload onto me and sends me home with briefcases full of paper work every other day, even though I’m not an office worker, I’m not an accountant and I’m not a department head and half of the paperwork doesn’t even have the slightest thing to do with me or the projects I contribute to,” Tatsuya said, his voice a low growl as he glared off into the distance.
“Whoa, heavy, that’s one sonofabitch boss,” Tatsuya gave a short humourless laugh.
“You have no idea,” he muttered bitterly. Suddenly Koki reach for his hand.
“C’mon, come with me,” he said, his eager, childlike face so bright and cheerful that Tatsuya couldn’t say a word in protest and just let himself be led back to the path, past the trees to what looked like a small car park. There were barely any cars there though, besides a couple of cars way back in one corner there were three bikes, black, red and purple standing close to edge of the lot. Sitting atop the red and purple ones were two guys in jeans, boots and jackets a little like Koki. The guy atop the red bike had wavy brown hair and hair cheekbones, a cheeky tilt to his mouth a glint of mischief in his eyes. While the other guy, sitting on the purple bike has much shorter hair, the kind of smile that screams ‘great sense of humour’ and a kind yet teasing twinkle to his eyes.
“Yo! Jin! Yucchi!” Koki called, still pulling Tatsuya by the hand.
“Oi, Koki! Where the hell did you disappear to?” Jin called over, but he paused when he caught sight of Tatsuya, following Koki, letting the other man oull him along by his hand while he stared down at the ground as they walked.
The one Koki had a addressed as ‘Yucchi’ hopped off his bike with an eye roll as they reached them.
“Koki, how many times must I tell you? You can’t go around picking up every cute person you see!” Koki gave him a childish pouting look, like a small boy in a pet store playing with the bunnies.
“But Yucchi, he’ so cute, why can’t I keep him!?” he whined, still holding Tatsuya’s hand. Tatsuya meanwhile was staring at the ground, his face glowing red. Cute? Me?
Jin slid off his bike and walked up to them, leaning down to peer up beneath Tatsuya’s bangs.
“True, he is pretty damn cute, but you can’t just go round kidnapping cute people Koki, last time you tried that the kid’s friend went mental, throwing food at you until you let the little guy’s arm go,” Koki gave that tongue-in-teeth cheeky grin again.
“I got free gyoza out of it though didn’t I? And that guy wasn’t that small, he was only a year or two younger than me, and I was fifteen at the time!”
Tatsuya listened to all this, still staring down at the ground, though he looked up hesitantly when Koki suddenly tugged on his hand. All three were smiling at him.
“These guys are my best friends, Akanishi Jin-” he pointed at the taller guy with the wavy hair, “and Nakamaru Yuuichi, guys, this is Ueda Tatsuya,”
Koki then tugged him over to the last bike, black with yellow a stripe down either side. He slung a leg over as Jin and Yuuichi climbed back onto their own bikes. Koki held his hand out. In the other hand he offered an extra helmet which Tatsuya slowly put on, as though on autopilot.
“C’mon, get on,” Tatsuya blinked for a moment, he’d been on a motorcycle before, but that had been years ago, way back in high school. He hesitantly climbed on behind Koki and wrapped his arms uncertainly around his waist. Koki spoke over his shoulder.
“There’s a supermarket near here, their cafeteria is good, cheap but really yummy,” Jin looked back at them and gave a somewhat predatory grin before revving his engine and cruising from the lot, closely followed by Yuuichi and Koki.
Tatsuya clung to Koki’s hoodie as they swerved between cars and made sharp turns, though the journey really was short, he sighed as he climbed slowly off the bike. It had been so long since he’d ridden on one he’d forgotten what it was like to ride at that speed, swerving through traffic, the rushing air sweeping over your skin and your clothes.
Koki grinned at him as they started to head into the building Tatsuya suddenly stopped, Koki glanced back at him. Jin and Yuuichi stopped too. Koki turned to them over his shoulder and told them to head to the café first before approaching Tatsuya who was staring at the ground, his brow furrowed.
“Tatsuya? What’s wrong?”
“Why…why did you bring me with you?” Koki didn’t seem overly surprised by the question but tipped his head thoughtfully onto one side as he pieced the right words together in his mind.
“Well…you said you were lost but you didn’t want to go home,”
“You could have just let me carry on sitting there by myself,” Tatsuya said quietly.
“I didn’t want to, I like you, you’re funny, you’re cute, arguing with you was kind of fun, plus it didn’t seem right to just leave you alone,” Tatsuya stared at him for a moment before running a hand through his hair and rubbing at his face.
“I don’t have anything with me you know, no money, no phone, no nothing, just the keys to my apartment, that’s literally it,” Koki grinned again.
“If you had money or a phone you could have easily gotten home on your own instead of sitting on the grass under a tree, I figured you were empty handed, though…why didn’t you bring anything with you?” Tatsuya gave a short half-laugh as he remembered.
“Because I snapped,” he said quietly, averting his gaze.
“Snapped?”
“The fire alarm went off in our building so I just grabbed my keys and went out to wait until we could go inside, but the siren wouldn’t stop and we were out there for so long and didn’t hear anything, and I was angry because of all the work I’d been doing…and I snapped, I just got up and walked away,”
“You just walked away, all the way to a park you’ve never been to before, completely on impulse?” Tatsuya looked sheepish as he nodded, but Koki was grinning again.
“That’s the best way to do anything! On impulse! That’s how we do everything!” Tatsuya stared at him.
“Don’t worry about money, you can owe me for next time or something,” Next time?
“C’mon! Geez! Do you always do that? Stare into space like a total head case?” Tatsuya smack Koki over the had as he followed him into th cafeteria.
“Yes! Because I am a head case! And you’re a psycho!” Koki just laughed and wound an arm around Tatsuya’s neck, pulling him close.
“Ah! This one’s not just cute, he’s smart and funny too! That’s it, I’m keeping him!” he announced as they reached the table where Jin and Yuuichi were waiting for them. Yuuichi stood up and smack Koki upside the head.
“Stop trying to adopt human beings like puppies! I swear, one of this days I’ll actually buy you a puppy so you stop threatening to kidnap cute people!” Tatsuya laughed as he watched them and Yuuichi smiled at him.
“C’mon Ueda-kun, let’s get some food!”
After assuring them they could call him ‘Tatsuya’ and settling at the table, each with a loaded tray of food Jin leant forwards.
“So, Tat-chan,” Koki’s fork froze on its way to his mouth.
“Oi! Who said you could give my pet nicknames!?” he said indignantly, to which Tatsuya just rolled his eyes and picked up the abandoned fork, shoving it into Koki’s mouth unceremoniously to shut him up.
“And who said I was your pet huh? Psycho,” Jin grinned evilly as Koki chewed sulkily.
“Anyway, Tat-chan,” Tatsuya rolled his eyes, as if Kazuya didn’t already call him that enough “what is it you do anyway?”
“I’m a CM designer, I work for my friend in his café sometimes though, just to help out,” Jin looked sufficiently shocked by that.
“Really? What CMs have you designed?” he asked eagerly. Tatsuya thought for a moment to come up with a recent one.
“You know that one recently for that new brand of juice?” Jin’s jaw dropped.
“You mean the one with the dingy in the middle of an orange ocean and the person in it falls in and thinks he’s drowning, then suddenly he’s standing on a boat, with the drink in his hand?” Tatsuya smiled shyly.
“Yeah, I designed that,”
Jin and Koki were looking at him incredulously, their eyes sparkling with wonder.
“What about you guys, what do you do?”
“Jin works for a bike repair shop, Yucchi works in a book store and I’m-”
“A useless freeloader?” Yuuichi asked nonchalantly, munching on his food, his gaze deliberately averted toward the corner of the ceiling.
“Oi! I am not! I work too! It’s just part time is all!” Tatsuya laughed quietly and Koki pouted at him. He had laughed so much in the past half an hour, smiled with these three, laughed and joked and just…relaxed, being with them, with Koki made him feel so much better.
Once they were done eating Jin suddenly leant forwards on the table, an adventurous glint in his eyes.
“Hey, guys, let’s go somewhere!” Koki and leapt to his feet and Yuuichi grinned.
“Ok! Let’s go, c’mon Tat-chan!” Koki grabbed his hand and they all spilled out of the cafeteria and all but leapt onto the bikes again. It was only when they were revving the engines that Tatsuya realised no-one had even suggested where they were going. But as they turned and drove away from the supermarket they fell into a line: Jin, Koki, Yuuichi.
They followed Jin along a long, straight road for a couple of hours, but despite the long ride, or even because of it, Tatsuya relaxed even more, enjoying watching the rushed blur of colours that sped backwards past him. At that point he realised, it didn’t matter where they were going, what mattered was that they were going, and going together, and they would make it fun wherever they ended up.
Many hours later Koki navigated his way successfully back to Tatsuya’s apartment building. As he climbed off the bike he sighed as he looked up at the building, his eyes latching onto his floor, the open air walkway in front of his door, he turned back, intending to thank Koki for finding his way back for him, even if it meant he would have to get back to that odious pile of work again, but it couldn’t be helped.
As he turned however, Koki caught his chin in his left hand, resting his weight on his left foot which he braced again the ground he leaned off the bike and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Tatsuya’s mouth.
“See you again, Tatsuya,”
Tatsuya watched him speed away, following his tail light until it was swallowed by the night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“I have said it once-”
“You’ve said it more than once Kame-chan,”
“-and I’ll say it again, you are a madman!”
Tatsuya just grinned as he wiped down the tables of Kazuya’s café. He had worked a late shift for him again, Junno was supposed to have worked it with him but he had been called away to do some other urgent thing, but he didn’t mind.
He had told them both what had happened the previous day when he had gotten to his apartment to find thirty seven messages on his answering machine, forty six missed calls on his cell phone and thirty eight message on his phone.
Both of them had stared at him in shock as he recounted the events of the day, but he could tell they were also happy he had managed to have fun and relax a little, they were glad he was able to laugh.
“”Yes, yes, I know, I’m the craziest person on earth, I wandered off in an unknown direction, got lost, got picked up by a motorcycle riding part-timer and went off to a bunch of places with him and his friends, I get it Kame-chan, you want to call the asylum or should I?” Kazuya glared at him but said nothing, checking his watch.
“Ah! It’s almost one! You can go ahead and head home Tat-chan,”
“Okay, I’ll just go change,”
Kazuya began turning the chairs upside down to rest on the tables, he was almost done when someone suddenly entered the café.
“I’m sorry, we’re closed for the night,”
“I know, I’m looking for Tatsuya, is he still here?” Kazuya looked up, taking in the jeans, boots, jacket and beanie and making connections in his head.
“Oh, you’re…” at that moment Tatsuya re-emerged from the back and caught sight of Koki standing just inside the door.
“Koki!” upon seeing him Koki grinned and held up his spare helmet.
“Lt’s go somewhere,” Tatsuya grinned back and held his hands out for the helmet.
おわり
A/N I think in my effort to avoid rooftops I’ve found a new default location for my fics: cafes/diners/restaurants. I blame it on my wish to own my own café, but this is the third…technically fifth fic I’ve worked on featuring a café or diner now! -facepalm- I give up! Either I bring back my rooftops or I continue sticking random JE guys to work in cafes! I think I have safe haven issues or something…whatever! >.< Sorry for all the repeat locations i.e. the rooftops and cafes, I should probably work on that. -sigh- Hope you enjoy the fic anyway.
To say he’d been expecting it, it happened when he least expected it and when he was least prepared for it. All week, no, all month he had had the nagging feeling that the steadily increasing workload his sonofabitch boss was giving him, the night shifts in Kame’s café and the endless stream of less than supportive phone calls, and e-mails from the gorgons he called parents were going to tip him over the edge. Soon enough his patience would run out and he’d snap, loose his mind, and do something stupid.
And he was right.
He had been sitting at his desk in his study in the cramped apartment he had moved to in order to avoid his sister’s visits every other day, slowly chipping away at the mountain of work he’d been given the previous day.
I’m not a fucking proof-reader, I’m not an accountant, I’m a fucking designer, why give me this shitload of paperwork on top of four different advertising projects.
His job description read: Visual Concept Designer. He came up with the ideas for adverts, for TV, magazines, subway posters and billboards, you name it. The company hooked in a client and a description of their ‘product’ and the order for a good looking advertisement landed on his desk. Of course, he wasn’t the only one. There was Sakurai and Matsumoto too, they were all landed with multiple projects at a time, but for some reason his bastard boss had decided that any paperwork he didn’t have time to do (read: was too much of a worthless slob to even look at) should be done by him.
Not to mention the fact that every time he spoke to his parents the conversation always touched on three main issues: why don’t you have a real job? Why aren’t you married? Why don’t you spend time with your sister? Basically translated as: why didn’t you stay here and take over your father’s job? Are you gay? Why doesn’t your sister have any good information to tell us?
The answers being: Because I hate fish. Yes. Because I want you all to leave me the fuck alone.
Kame kept telling him he didn’t have to help out when he had such a heavy workload, he could ask Junno to help out on more nights, or hire more staff. But he always told him, he liked helping out, that kind of work was more fun than the truckload of paper that was dumped on him every day, if he didn’t like designing so much he’d quit and make Kame hire him. Plus, Kame couldn’t afford too many more workers and Junno had his own stuff to be doing on the nights he worked.
However, no matter how much he convinced Kame and Junno he was alright, he knew, was fully aware that he wouldn’t be able to happily go along with all this crap much longer.
I, Ueda Tatsuya, am losing my mind.
What he didn’t expect was for his brain to snap when it did: during a fire alarm.
That morning he had pulled on a random pair of jeans and a t-shirt so as not to terrify any little old ladies when he took out the rubbish.
After taking out the rubbish he had settled back at his desk and continued with the daunting pile of paperwork that had been hoisted off onto him by his sonofabitch boss. Sitting at the desk, casting sidelong glances out of the window to his right at the flawless weather he had grudgingly managed to work through half the pile, though he really did wonder how, as half of it not only had nothing to do with him or his department, but concerned matters he’d never heard of.
His boss should really be the one filling these out, if he got them wrong somehow the department, or even the company could get into some serious trouble. He gave a bitter sigh, shoving his glasses up his nose and leaning closer to the paper. He had had a headache for the past week, his hands kept shaking whenever they weren’t focused on drawing or writing, his sleep was shallow and full of unidentifiable shadows that for all their lack of shape and apparent meaning never managed to wake him several times in the night before he gave a tired groan and rolled over, wishing for sleep.
Tatsuya sighed against the paper as he scribbled, filling in boxes writing report summaries, and working on his four pending projects.
He was just over halfway through the ominous pile of paper when the most ungodly sound wailed through his apartment loud and urgent enough the make the papers and book in his study shiver. He looked up at the ceiling, briefly asking whatever higher power with a sick sense of humour that was currently grinning down at his suffering why exactly they hated him so much.
Gritting his teeth as the incessant wailing continued to burn his ears and exacerbate the throbbing in his head Tatsuya shuffled into the hallways, sitting heavily on the step and pulling on a pair of battered backless sandals, and a grey cardigan. It had been beautifully sunny lately, but the wind was still strong.
He trudged down the stairs with everyone else who was still at home, down the open air stairs, away from the building and over the road to stand on the grass verge that surrounded the car park of whatever building it was face the apartment block from the other side of the road.
Once there Tatsuya shoved his hands into his pockets and crouched down, leaning forward on his bent knees, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet.
Not that he seriously wanted to be reunited with that mother load of work again, but being wrenched from the his apartment by the fire alarm, and most likely because some brainless fool had burnt his toast, seriously grated on his already frayed and frazzled nerves.
He stared at the building, which was obviously in no immediate danger of being swallowed by relentless, unstoppable flames, and wondered why the hell it took so long for some official person or other to go in, locate the place the alarm had first been triggered, check there was no actual fire and shut the damn noise off.
Even over here, on the grass, which curled over the front of his open toes footwear and teased the tips of his toes, the sun gentle warming his head and shoulders even as the wind danced with his bangs, making him squint to prevent the hair getting into his eyes, even here he could hear that horrible sound!
He stared, his eyes hard, at the building over the street, the wailing of the fire alarm still crying in the walls…and snapped.
Suddenly he straightened up in one fluid movement, his hands still in his pockets, gripping his keys, and turned to his right, setting off at a brisk but aimless walk.
He reached the end of the street and turned left, he never usually had much occasion to go this way, there wasn’t much in this direction, his office and the town centre were the other way, this way there were a couple of small family owned businesses, like barbers, tae-out places, a dentists, a petrol station and…a park.
A look of grim determination without cause adorned his features as he walked. Technically what he was doing was stupid, he had nothing but his keys, he wasn’t actually entirely sure where he was going or what he was going to do, but he didn’t care because he needed this: complete lack of plan and purpose, freedom to just move in a direction along a newly discovered road that wasn’t lined with work, responsibilities and guilt tripping parents.
He walked for quite a while, taking turns at random, not even knowing he was going to turn down a new street until he was already halfway through actually making the turn. He was vaguely sure there was a park of some sort in the general direction he was heading but he had made so many turns he couldn’t be entirely sure…until he reached the end of a side street and over the road to opened onto was the playing field of a park, and from what he could tell by what was visible beyond the playing field it wasn’t exactly a small neighbourhood type of place.
Crossing the street he located the gate and wandered inside following the path around the field and between the trees, under a bridge, around a set of basketball courts, a building that looked like some kind of sports club house but was locked and empty and practically sagging under the weight of a hundred or more cobwebs.
It took more than fifteen minutes to walk all the paths of the park, Tatsuya walked fairly slowly, taking everything in, loving the sight of the trees and bushed and flowers, feeling suddenly more relaxed than he had in god knows how long.
Though as he came full circle, walking the path alongside the playing field again he bit his lip as he suddenly realised that he couldn’t for the life of him remember how he had reached the park or how he should go about finding his way back. He realised he should be far more worried than he was, but he couldn’t actually muster up that kind of flurried emotion. He felt drained yet light, if he stayed here forever, merging with the park itself that would be just fine…
Tatsuya sighed and sat down in the shadow of a lone tree on a grassy slope that overlooked the whole grassy area, hugging his knees as he watched middle school boys running around chasing a ball and tripping over each other, giggling and laughing helplessly, safely enveloped in their free youth. They might not consider it free, their parents made the rules, there were so many things they couldn’t do, and yet they didn’t have things to worry about the way their parents did, the way anybody over the age of twenty did…
He sighed again and lifted one hand from around his knees to run a slightly shaking hand through his hair. Even if he felt more relaxed now, his hands still shook, his headache was still there. He pushed up his glasses before resting his hand on his knee to rest the jittering nerves.
A shadow chose that moment to snake over the sunlit grass to stop in front of his, just outside the circle of protective shadow cast by the widespread branches and their abundance of leaves. Tatsuya looked up to see a guy that must have been just a little younger than him, in jeans a hoodie and heavy looking boots, a bandana tied around his head like a sweatband.
“Hey, are you okay?” Tatsuya was startled by the question.
“E-Eh? Of course I’m okay!” he said, his voice slightly more shrill than usual. Mentally he smacked himself over the head. Sure Tatsuya, he thought, that sounded convincing, why is it you don’t have a career in the secret service again?
The guy tipped his head on one side as he looked at him and Tatsuya averted his eyes, tightening his hold on his knees, feeling a little uncomfortable under this guy’s gaze, it was intense and piercing and somehow seemed, auspiciously all-knowing, like he could figure out exactly what was wrong, why Tatsuya was here, how he’d gotten here, and what had happened.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Cos I thought you kinda looked like you were going to cry,” Tatsuya looked up sharply, somewhat annoyed by that, as if he would have cried, he didn’t want to cry at all, was that supposed to be some kind of insult? He rose to his feet, looking down at the other guy from where he stood, elevated on the slope.
“Why the hell would you think that? I’m not a girl you know!”
“Yeah, I can tell! But you sure as hell look like one! Too bad you’re not gentle like one!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, to start arguing with someone who was just concerned about you! You don’t even know me!”
“And you don’t know me! Who the hell just walks up to someone and says they look like they’re going to cry!?”
“I was trying to be compassionate, if you were a girl you’d probably have strated crying already! But you’re a guy so instead you started yelling!”
“I’m not the only one yelling, and I’m only yelling because some stranger just came up to me and told me I look like a girl!”
“Only after you got so mad at me just for trying to be a good person!”
“well how would you react if someone suddenly came up and told you they thought you were going to cry!”
“Try laughing! Feels a hell of a lot better than yelling! When the hell was the last time you laughed anyway? Damn you’re uptight, what are you an OL?”
Tatsuya suddenly realised his hands were clenched into weak fists at his sides and he was glaring down at the guy in front of him, who was glaring right back, his own hands balled into similar fists. His glare slowly slid away, to the mild surprise of the guy in front of him who also stopped glaring to look at him oddly, waiting for whatever came next…
Tatsuya uncurled his hands and raised one to his face, pushing his fingers up through his bangs, his shoulders shaking slightly. After a moment he chanced a glance at the guy who had suddenly appeared before him, who was still looking at him in mild confusion.
And as suddenly as their argument had started, their laughter began. Tatsuya doubled over, leaning one hand on his knee, curling his other arm around his stomach as he laughed. Through the tears that gathered in his eyes he saw the guy sink to one knee, his palm flat in the grass as he laughed along with him.
After a moment they both straightened up, still laughing a little, whipping the tears from the corners of their eyes. Tatsuya took a deep breath and descended the small slope, stopping in front of the stranger who had appeared before him.
“I’m sorry, I guess I over-reacted,”
“It’s fine, I can be kind of blunt sometimes, but then maybe I hit the nail on the head, when was the last time you laughed?” Tatsuya smiled a little sadly, he had no idea.
“I honestly don’t remember,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. He sighed again and held out his hand.
“I’m Ueda Tatsuya,” with a grin his hands was accepted and shaken firmly.
“Tanaka Koki,”
“Well, Tanaka-san, I’m sorry I yelled at you, thanks for caring though,” Koki made a face.
“Tanaka-san sounds old! Call me Koki, I don’t think I know of anyone who calls me by my family name,” Tatsuya smiled.
“Then, you can call me Tatsuya,” Koki gave him a cheeky smile and looked at him pointedly.
“Tatsuya…are you lost?” Tatsuya sighed and ran both hand through his hair.
“If I said yes would you laugh again?” he asked in a way that clearly stated that he was indeed hopelessly lost.
“Maybe, maybe I’d ask which way you came from and where you live and help you find your way back,” Tatsuya looked up at him in surprise. Koki grinned at him, poking his tongue through his teeth, somehow giving him the image of someone far younger and more carefree, but Tatsuya could tell, he wasn’t so much younger than him. Why was it he seemed so relaxed while Tatsuya was only even in the park to begin with because he snapped under the pressure and stress of an inhuman workload?
He bit his lips suddenly, shoving his hands into his pockets as he thought of the work still waiting to be completed when he got back…
When he got back…
“Well, maybe I don’t even want to go back yet,” he murmured. Koki tipped his head onto one side as he watched him.
“Something happen?” he asked lightly.
“My boss is an overbearing yet incompetent sack of shit that piles his own important workload onto me and sends me home with briefcases full of paper work every other day, even though I’m not an office worker, I’m not an accountant and I’m not a department head and half of the paperwork doesn’t even have the slightest thing to do with me or the projects I contribute to,” Tatsuya said, his voice a low growl as he glared off into the distance.
“Whoa, heavy, that’s one sonofabitch boss,” Tatsuya gave a short humourless laugh.
“You have no idea,” he muttered bitterly. Suddenly Koki reach for his hand.
“C’mon, come with me,” he said, his eager, childlike face so bright and cheerful that Tatsuya couldn’t say a word in protest and just let himself be led back to the path, past the trees to what looked like a small car park. There were barely any cars there though, besides a couple of cars way back in one corner there were three bikes, black, red and purple standing close to edge of the lot. Sitting atop the red and purple ones were two guys in jeans, boots and jackets a little like Koki. The guy atop the red bike had wavy brown hair and hair cheekbones, a cheeky tilt to his mouth a glint of mischief in his eyes. While the other guy, sitting on the purple bike has much shorter hair, the kind of smile that screams ‘great sense of humour’ and a kind yet teasing twinkle to his eyes.
“Yo! Jin! Yucchi!” Koki called, still pulling Tatsuya by the hand.
“Oi, Koki! Where the hell did you disappear to?” Jin called over, but he paused when he caught sight of Tatsuya, following Koki, letting the other man oull him along by his hand while he stared down at the ground as they walked.
The one Koki had a addressed as ‘Yucchi’ hopped off his bike with an eye roll as they reached them.
“Koki, how many times must I tell you? You can’t go around picking up every cute person you see!” Koki gave him a childish pouting look, like a small boy in a pet store playing with the bunnies.
“But Yucchi, he’ so cute, why can’t I keep him!?” he whined, still holding Tatsuya’s hand. Tatsuya meanwhile was staring at the ground, his face glowing red. Cute? Me?
Jin slid off his bike and walked up to them, leaning down to peer up beneath Tatsuya’s bangs.
“True, he is pretty damn cute, but you can’t just go round kidnapping cute people Koki, last time you tried that the kid’s friend went mental, throwing food at you until you let the little guy’s arm go,” Koki gave that tongue-in-teeth cheeky grin again.
“I got free gyoza out of it though didn’t I? And that guy wasn’t that small, he was only a year or two younger than me, and I was fifteen at the time!”
Tatsuya listened to all this, still staring down at the ground, though he looked up hesitantly when Koki suddenly tugged on his hand. All three were smiling at him.
“These guys are my best friends, Akanishi Jin-” he pointed at the taller guy with the wavy hair, “and Nakamaru Yuuichi, guys, this is Ueda Tatsuya,”
Koki then tugged him over to the last bike, black with yellow a stripe down either side. He slung a leg over as Jin and Yuuichi climbed back onto their own bikes. Koki held his hand out. In the other hand he offered an extra helmet which Tatsuya slowly put on, as though on autopilot.
“C’mon, get on,” Tatsuya blinked for a moment, he’d been on a motorcycle before, but that had been years ago, way back in high school. He hesitantly climbed on behind Koki and wrapped his arms uncertainly around his waist. Koki spoke over his shoulder.
“There’s a supermarket near here, their cafeteria is good, cheap but really yummy,” Jin looked back at them and gave a somewhat predatory grin before revving his engine and cruising from the lot, closely followed by Yuuichi and Koki.
Tatsuya clung to Koki’s hoodie as they swerved between cars and made sharp turns, though the journey really was short, he sighed as he climbed slowly off the bike. It had been so long since he’d ridden on one he’d forgotten what it was like to ride at that speed, swerving through traffic, the rushing air sweeping over your skin and your clothes.
Koki grinned at him as they started to head into the building Tatsuya suddenly stopped, Koki glanced back at him. Jin and Yuuichi stopped too. Koki turned to them over his shoulder and told them to head to the café first before approaching Tatsuya who was staring at the ground, his brow furrowed.
“Tatsuya? What’s wrong?”
“Why…why did you bring me with you?” Koki didn’t seem overly surprised by the question but tipped his head thoughtfully onto one side as he pieced the right words together in his mind.
“Well…you said you were lost but you didn’t want to go home,”
“You could have just let me carry on sitting there by myself,” Tatsuya said quietly.
“I didn’t want to, I like you, you’re funny, you’re cute, arguing with you was kind of fun, plus it didn’t seem right to just leave you alone,” Tatsuya stared at him for a moment before running a hand through his hair and rubbing at his face.
“I don’t have anything with me you know, no money, no phone, no nothing, just the keys to my apartment, that’s literally it,” Koki grinned again.
“If you had money or a phone you could have easily gotten home on your own instead of sitting on the grass under a tree, I figured you were empty handed, though…why didn’t you bring anything with you?” Tatsuya gave a short half-laugh as he remembered.
“Because I snapped,” he said quietly, averting his gaze.
“Snapped?”
“The fire alarm went off in our building so I just grabbed my keys and went out to wait until we could go inside, but the siren wouldn’t stop and we were out there for so long and didn’t hear anything, and I was angry because of all the work I’d been doing…and I snapped, I just got up and walked away,”
“You just walked away, all the way to a park you’ve never been to before, completely on impulse?” Tatsuya looked sheepish as he nodded, but Koki was grinning again.
“That’s the best way to do anything! On impulse! That’s how we do everything!” Tatsuya stared at him.
“Don’t worry about money, you can owe me for next time or something,” Next time?
“C’mon! Geez! Do you always do that? Stare into space like a total head case?” Tatsuya smack Koki over the had as he followed him into th cafeteria.
“Yes! Because I am a head case! And you’re a psycho!” Koki just laughed and wound an arm around Tatsuya’s neck, pulling him close.
“Ah! This one’s not just cute, he’s smart and funny too! That’s it, I’m keeping him!” he announced as they reached the table where Jin and Yuuichi were waiting for them. Yuuichi stood up and smack Koki upside the head.
“Stop trying to adopt human beings like puppies! I swear, one of this days I’ll actually buy you a puppy so you stop threatening to kidnap cute people!” Tatsuya laughed as he watched them and Yuuichi smiled at him.
“C’mon Ueda-kun, let’s get some food!”
After assuring them they could call him ‘Tatsuya’ and settling at the table, each with a loaded tray of food Jin leant forwards.
“So, Tat-chan,” Koki’s fork froze on its way to his mouth.
“Oi! Who said you could give my pet nicknames!?” he said indignantly, to which Tatsuya just rolled his eyes and picked up the abandoned fork, shoving it into Koki’s mouth unceremoniously to shut him up.
“And who said I was your pet huh? Psycho,” Jin grinned evilly as Koki chewed sulkily.
“Anyway, Tat-chan,” Tatsuya rolled his eyes, as if Kazuya didn’t already call him that enough “what is it you do anyway?”
“I’m a CM designer, I work for my friend in his café sometimes though, just to help out,” Jin looked sufficiently shocked by that.
“Really? What CMs have you designed?” he asked eagerly. Tatsuya thought for a moment to come up with a recent one.
“You know that one recently for that new brand of juice?” Jin’s jaw dropped.
“You mean the one with the dingy in the middle of an orange ocean and the person in it falls in and thinks he’s drowning, then suddenly he’s standing on a boat, with the drink in his hand?” Tatsuya smiled shyly.
“Yeah, I designed that,”
Jin and Koki were looking at him incredulously, their eyes sparkling with wonder.
“What about you guys, what do you do?”
“Jin works for a bike repair shop, Yucchi works in a book store and I’m-”
“A useless freeloader?” Yuuichi asked nonchalantly, munching on his food, his gaze deliberately averted toward the corner of the ceiling.
“Oi! I am not! I work too! It’s just part time is all!” Tatsuya laughed quietly and Koki pouted at him. He had laughed so much in the past half an hour, smiled with these three, laughed and joked and just…relaxed, being with them, with Koki made him feel so much better.
Once they were done eating Jin suddenly leant forwards on the table, an adventurous glint in his eyes.
“Hey, guys, let’s go somewhere!” Koki and leapt to his feet and Yuuichi grinned.
“Ok! Let’s go, c’mon Tat-chan!” Koki grabbed his hand and they all spilled out of the cafeteria and all but leapt onto the bikes again. It was only when they were revving the engines that Tatsuya realised no-one had even suggested where they were going. But as they turned and drove away from the supermarket they fell into a line: Jin, Koki, Yuuichi.
They followed Jin along a long, straight road for a couple of hours, but despite the long ride, or even because of it, Tatsuya relaxed even more, enjoying watching the rushed blur of colours that sped backwards past him. At that point he realised, it didn’t matter where they were going, what mattered was that they were going, and going together, and they would make it fun wherever they ended up.
Many hours later Koki navigated his way successfully back to Tatsuya’s apartment building. As he climbed off the bike he sighed as he looked up at the building, his eyes latching onto his floor, the open air walkway in front of his door, he turned back, intending to thank Koki for finding his way back for him, even if it meant he would have to get back to that odious pile of work again, but it couldn’t be helped.
As he turned however, Koki caught his chin in his left hand, resting his weight on his left foot which he braced again the ground he leaned off the bike and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Tatsuya’s mouth.
“See you again, Tatsuya,”
Tatsuya watched him speed away, following his tail light until it was swallowed by the night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“I have said it once-”
“You’ve said it more than once Kame-chan,”
“-and I’ll say it again, you are a madman!”
Tatsuya just grinned as he wiped down the tables of Kazuya’s café. He had worked a late shift for him again, Junno was supposed to have worked it with him but he had been called away to do some other urgent thing, but he didn’t mind.
He had told them both what had happened the previous day when he had gotten to his apartment to find thirty seven messages on his answering machine, forty six missed calls on his cell phone and thirty eight message on his phone.
Both of them had stared at him in shock as he recounted the events of the day, but he could tell they were also happy he had managed to have fun and relax a little, they were glad he was able to laugh.
“”Yes, yes, I know, I’m the craziest person on earth, I wandered off in an unknown direction, got lost, got picked up by a motorcycle riding part-timer and went off to a bunch of places with him and his friends, I get it Kame-chan, you want to call the asylum or should I?” Kazuya glared at him but said nothing, checking his watch.
“Ah! It’s almost one! You can go ahead and head home Tat-chan,”
“Okay, I’ll just go change,”
Kazuya began turning the chairs upside down to rest on the tables, he was almost done when someone suddenly entered the café.
“I’m sorry, we’re closed for the night,”
“I know, I’m looking for Tatsuya, is he still here?” Kazuya looked up, taking in the jeans, boots, jacket and beanie and making connections in his head.
“Oh, you’re…” at that moment Tatsuya re-emerged from the back and caught sight of Koki standing just inside the door.
“Koki!” upon seeing him Koki grinned and held up his spare helmet.
“Lt’s go somewhere,” Tatsuya grinned back and held his hands out for the helmet.
おわり
A/N I think in my effort to avoid rooftops I’ve found a new default location for my fics: cafes/diners/restaurants. I blame it on my wish to own my own café, but this is the third…technically fifth fic I’ve worked on featuring a café or diner now! -facepalm- I give up! Either I bring back my rooftops or I continue sticking random JE guys to work in cafes! I think I have safe haven issues or something…whatever! >.< Sorry for all the repeat locations i.e. the rooftops and cafes, I should probably work on that. -sigh- Hope you enjoy the fic anyway.