Untitled
Where did it go wrong? Everything had been just fine before insecurities began settling in our hearts, before you had confronted me about your own unsettling feelings. It had started like any argument, but the ending was so unexpected, even for us.
"I don't know why the hell you're getting so worked up over this!"
How I wish for nothing more than to take it all back, prevent all this from happening.
"It was just a fucking concern! You act like I'm so damn replaceable!"
I was upset, felt betrayed that you'd even have any doubts. Somewhere in my mind I thought you'd leave me, maybe I never had any full faith in our relationship. Maybe that's what brought up these doubts, because you knew how I really felt.
"Maybe you fucking are!"
For a moment, after those words left my mouth, I saw pain flicker through your eyes. If I stayed any longer after saying that, I knew I'd wind up doing something to screw everything up, so I fumed out of the apartment. Really I was heartbroken, I knew what I'd said crossed a line that I never meant to cross. As I head down the stairs and away from the apartment, I'm sure I heard you make a grieved noise, which tore me apart even more.
"He's nothing special, if I wanted I could have any person I damn so pleased!"
I was hurt, didn't mean a word of it; I just needed to fume and get some stress off my chest. Instead my eyes locked with yours, wide and wrecked with a new level of pain. It was the first time I'd seen any tears well up in your eyes, in public any ways. And as if a wounded animal, you retreated out the door, not even bothering to do what you'd set out for. After the shock wore off I ran after you, watched your shoulders tense as I called out your name.
You ignored me, wanted nothing to do with me, all you wanted was time to nurse your injuries. I grew frustrated, at myself, and grew near to tears also, and cried out your name as you rounded your car. Chocolate eyes met orange, and at that moment I knew that you'd been hurt beyond whatever apologies I made. A wound only time could mend, but then you spoke up, voice breaking from the pain you dealt.
"You say you can have any other, as if I've meant nothing to you..."
My heart stopped beating, mind racing, hoping you'd not leave my stupid self.
"Would you even give a damn if I died, right here...right now?"
Now everything inside me went silent as I watched you enter the car, not even giving me time to think or act. But as if to prove your point, the next few scenes played out in front of my eyes were nothing short of a nightmare from hell. There was a scream, one that would forever be embedded in my memory, as well as screeching tires. Metal slammed into metal and my mind shut down, everything seemed to go in slow motion as I watched another vehicle crash into the drivers side of yours. The shock and horrific pain etched on your face, the glass shattering around you.
When everything grew silent I stumbled forward, looking at the damaged vehicles in front of me, and the slumped forward in your seat. My breath hitched and I dashed forward, fumbling with the passenger door; I wanted nothing more than to be beside you in that moment.
"Fury! Oh God...!"
I shook your shoulders and nearly cried aloud when you made a disgruntled noise, afterwards you managed to lift you face to look at me. Face and hair bloodied from the cuts the shards of glass had created, it was the hardest thing to keep from breaking down right in front of you.
When your eyes skimmed mine, you spoke weakly, but the misery was evident," Am I really...replaceable...?"
For a moment I was speechless, but after unhooking his seatbelt I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, burying my face against his neck," I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." With heavy eyes, you just stared ahead, but being so close...I heard the cry you wouldn't allow. "I could never replace you Fury, you're my...I love you too much to want anyone else..."
I felt a smile curve your lips as you leaned your head against mine, so I pulled back to offer one of my own, and a reassuring kiss. Just as I stroke his face I notice the dark liquid covering my hands and part of my arms. Being no dummy, I knew what it was...and panicked, all rational thought abandoning me. All I could do was hold him and continue to whisper just how sorry I was for hurting him like I had; he just grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
"I love you too..." His eyes closed briefly, opening to reveal a small glimpse of happiness. "...Just thought you should know, you're everything to me...that I've loved and grieved for..."
"Hey now, don't talk like that, you make it sound like you won't pull through." I laugh hopefully, searching your eyes for anything at all that says you're not serious, faultering when you show no signs of play. Tears sting at my eyes, and for a bit I felt as though my heart would pound right out of my chest. "You can't...without you I'm nothing Fury, so don't you dare leave me...you said you wouldn't! Remember?"
You nod weakly as you close your eyes," I don't go down without a fight..."
"Alright then, fight...fight hard, okay? I don't want a life without you in it, mood swings and all..."
I think back to that as I hold your hand tightly within mine; you'd been transported to the nearest hospital. You nearly died on the ride over, and so did my heart. Struggled and struggled, you clung to life the hardest you could until we arrived here. The report was, if you make it through the night that'd you be alright, and right now everything seems okay. Pulse and breathing stable, even so I refuse to leave your side, not until you open your eyes.
Standing to my feet, I crawl up on the bed with you, carefully draping my arm over your waist. You're still warm and that's more comforting than anything else right now, seeing your chest rise and fall with each breath, and your strong heartbeat.
A smile tugs at my lips, you'd be embarrassed by this sort of public affection, especially in a hospital, but I'm sure you'd understand why. My heart leaps as your head turns while you sleep, letting me know you'll still be with me once morning comes around.