Dreamseeker's Predicament
;>_>
A certain would-be dragoness is currently experiencing a major Valgaav-obsession relapse, reading fanfiction and thinking 'I want one!', then reminding herself that she technically has one now, and noticing a rather harsh difference in emotional levels when the two are compared. u_u
Hmm. Predicament indeed.
On another note, I watched most of Gargoyles recently. I had no idea how far it went. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
I have also spent the last three or so days living in a couch fort that takes up about half of our living room, with a small corner which I've walled off as my personal den. It includes electrical sockets for my laptop and a lamp, a tiny side table where I can keep a cup of water or tea, and I've stocked it with drawing supplies, my Drom Vard folder, and my Valgaav plushie.
I am a happy little dragon.
Amazing, also, how a change to new yet comfortable scenery can refresh a creative mind, because those three days (and one night in which I didn't sleep at all) have been spent almost entirely on drawing and writing (Valgaav-centric, but relating to my novels as well in that both projects involve my character, Fantica, once a young storm dragon banished from her home and love, now the confident captain of the dragon-class starship, Tiamat. I still can't believe I've kept her story developing all these years and found a way to include her as an important side character in my novel series... Thank you, Pairaka. XD
....
but I swear, if I ever get the chance to meet the real Val (i.e. Matt from Maine), I will stalk and court him until he either accepts me or commands me never to come near him again. Sure, there could also be the possibility that I wouldn't like him anymore, but unless he's changed completely from who he was seven and a half years ago, I honestly don't see that happening.
An entire country between us and only one month in which he really talked to me (oh, I still talk to him, but he's as near-silent as I ever was in person), and still, what I felt for him, and still feel waves of when I think about him, was the closest thing to love I've experienced. In regards to romance, this was more than anything I thought I felt for Aurora.
While I'm busily turning what was a decently short post into a nice long bare-my-soul rant, I might as well bring up something else I've been thinking about.
Now that for the first time there is actually a guy who not only wants me, but matches most of the standards I set for a prospective mate, I wander if a steady relationship is actually what I want. Until this wave of inspiration brought on by one of those impossible loves of mine, my creativity was at its lowest. Impossible daydreams had been starting to depress me, but when I stopped because I thought they weren't needed anymore, I quickly began to miss them. I'm a dreamer, and dreaming is what inspires me.
Completing my novels is my most important goal. I don't want anything to impede that.
I'm not entirely sure what the best thing to do is. This is frustrating.
A certain would-be dragoness is currently experiencing a major Valgaav-obsession relapse, reading fanfiction and thinking 'I want one!', then reminding herself that she technically has one now, and noticing a rather harsh difference in emotional levels when the two are compared. u_u
Hmm. Predicament indeed.
On another note, I watched most of Gargoyles recently. I had no idea how far it went. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
I have also spent the last three or so days living in a couch fort that takes up about half of our living room, with a small corner which I've walled off as my personal den. It includes electrical sockets for my laptop and a lamp, a tiny side table where I can keep a cup of water or tea, and I've stocked it with drawing supplies, my Drom Vard folder, and my Valgaav plushie.
I am a happy little dragon.
Amazing, also, how a change to new yet comfortable scenery can refresh a creative mind, because those three days (and one night in which I didn't sleep at all) have been spent almost entirely on drawing and writing (Valgaav-centric, but relating to my novels as well in that both projects involve my character, Fantica, once a young storm dragon banished from her home and love, now the confident captain of the dragon-class starship, Tiamat. I still can't believe I've kept her story developing all these years and found a way to include her as an important side character in my novel series... Thank you, Pairaka. XD
....
but I swear, if I ever get the chance to meet the real Val (i.e. Matt from Maine), I will stalk and court him until he either accepts me or commands me never to come near him again. Sure, there could also be the possibility that I wouldn't like him anymore, but unless he's changed completely from who he was seven and a half years ago, I honestly don't see that happening.
An entire country between us and only one month in which he really talked to me (oh, I still talk to him, but he's as near-silent as I ever was in person), and still, what I felt for him, and still feel waves of when I think about him, was the closest thing to love I've experienced. In regards to romance, this was more than anything I thought I felt for Aurora.
While I'm busily turning what was a decently short post into a nice long bare-my-soul rant, I might as well bring up something else I've been thinking about.
Now that for the first time there is actually a guy who not only wants me, but matches most of the standards I set for a prospective mate, I wander if a steady relationship is actually what I want. Until this wave of inspiration brought on by one of those impossible loves of mine, my creativity was at its lowest. Impossible daydreams had been starting to depress me, but when I stopped because I thought they weren't needed anymore, I quickly began to miss them. I'm a dreamer, and dreaming is what inspires me.
Completing my novels is my most important goal. I don't want anything to impede that.
I'm not entirely sure what the best thing to do is. This is frustrating.