figuring out faith
The thing about christianity:
I have no desire to 'piece together' bits of theology and create a belief system that 'works for me.' Logically, if Christianity is true than there will be truths that are difficult for me to accept even as much as salvation through Christ is the key. There must be one branch of the faith out there that gets the biggest picture. I have not found anything close to that in "Evangelical Christianity."
With that said I honestly believe that the majority of Evangelical Christians have got it so wrong. The past few years have been a search of what christianity "isn't."
The Bible isn't an infallible magic book written by people possessed by the Holy Spirit. It is a collection of Jewish verbal tradition, prophecies, gospel accounts, and letters. Yes, the bible was 'written by men.' None of those things mean that the Bible is not valuable and essential to the Christian faith. But the lens needs to be reframed and the Scriptures must be read understanding that Paul was writing specifically to the church in Corinth in one letter, and to the Church at Thessalonia in another. Everything works together, must be read together.
The Bible doesn't always make sense or hang together but ultimately... those 'contradictions' are pretty minor and don't really change the key. To believe in God is to believe God is likely powerful enough to ensure that one of his main tools to teach us about Him is pretty much done up right. We just need to read it different.
The Book of Revelations isn't a literal rendering of the end of the world, it is a book written by John to strengthen the Church of the time, which was facing intense persecution. John may have had a vision; but you know what isn't right? People sitting here saying that they have the proper interpretation of it. Revelations is one of the most dense, confusing, symbolic books in the bible. How, exactly, has anybody figured out the fucking chronology of the Last Days? Stop it. Just stop. You know why? Because Christ said that even HE would not know the hour. SO STOP TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. One of the most goofy, out there pastors I've ever known had one thing right: All that matters is your relationship with Jesus. So between it not being POSSIBLE to get right and honestly, there are way more important things to spend your time on, shut up Kirk Cameron.
Science is not against God. Debating The Theory of Evolution with "BUT THE BIBLE SAID THIS" is not scientific and is not even really faith based. God gave you a brain; use it. I was so disappointed a year ago when I wandered into a "the case against evolution" seminar presented by an honest to God PHD. It was full of crap like "Noah's Ark would totally have fit this many animals" and "The bible is the literal word of God and it says SEVEN DAYS SO THERE." You might not be able to convince a hardline evolutionist that it could be wrong if you approach the subject with actual scientific method... but at least you won't sound like an idiot. Again: God gave us brains. Use them.
Pentacostal/charismatic style 'spiritual warfare' isn't real. "Things" are not capable of being evil or bring 'evil' into your life or home. Your home does not need to be 'cleansed.' You do not need to proclaim the name of Jesus over your television. Your stress levels are not caused by demonic oppression. Your 'secular' music does not contain drooling demons leaching out with 'spiritual tentacles' into your brain. Now this is one thing that I am still figuring out because Christ cast out many demons. To believe in Christ is to believe in all of it or what's the point? Thus there is a spiritual reality and there is a fallen order of angels that is against God's work. However, I'm sorry. I have been through the 'deliverance' bit, had things 'prayed out of me' and you know what? It was more or less all emotional hype. I do not know how demons and angels operate; I believe Christ when he says in his name I can command demons to come out; but that isn't what's happening under the jackass Rick Joyners and Todd Bentleys of the world.
Benny Hinn isn't a man of God. He's a fuckin' con artist. I can't say he's NOT a christian... but he's not a prophet or a priest. More on this later.
Christianity isn't a road to riches. Prosperity Gospel is a selfish, self-centered bit of twisted theology. You know why people love it? Because by golly, God is a loving God so WHY WOULD HE EVER WANT US TO SUFFER? Christ says not to worry --- he doesn't say God Will buy you a new Lexus. Most of the apostles were poor and died painful deaths. This leads to...
Comfort isn't promised by Christianity, at least in this life. Once a couple years ago I met a homeless man, he stunk of alcohol but told me about Jesus. I already knew him. When that man left I was wounded, wondering why he was on the street, why Jesus didn't save him. It struck me, or perhaps God whispered to me, but realization occured: for some, this life is harder than others. But as Christ said "the first shall be last, and the last first." That man and many others who have it hard in this world will be first in the next. That drunk hobo was a Christian.
There isn't a way to really tell if somebody is or isn't a Christian. Sure, people look at things like getting drunk, fucking around, doing all these obvious 'sins' to say 'oh they're not a real christian.' But my own experience says: When I was drinking and having sex and being far in the world from what I should be, I prayed. I prayed and prayed. And I was close to God even as my life was far. You cannot know the state of somebody's heart. That does not mean one should excuse sinful behavior, particularly that which disrupts the community and hurts others. But what you cannot say is "that person is not a christian." Christ said that people would come, doing 'miracles' in his name and he will say "I never knew you." I would be terrified if I was a 'great christian leader' that I would be one of those Christ spoke of. We do not know hearts. Pious appearing christians may have no salvation; drunkards may be welcome in the kingdom of heaven. The point: we are all sinners and all equally short of the perfection of God. Christ came to save us all so stop pointing your fingers at anybody else. He died for you too. You need him just as much. You can 'look to the fruit' but some slimeballs have seen some good fruit. Hey, people were 'saved' and ministered to by Bakker's Praise The Lord ministry. He was still an embezzling fraud.
Christianity isn't the words you use, the way you dress, the music you listen to, the political party you belong to, etc. That one's pretty old hat by now but unfortunately still needs to resonate.
Christianity is not a 'get out of hell free' card. If all unsaved are going to burn in the fiery depths of hell, then ultimately no matter how Christians phrase it (personal relationship with God, etc) it still boils down to 'oh by the way if you don't buy it you burn forever.' I do not know entirely what I believe about this still; I don't disbelieve in 'hell.' I am not convinced that the common modern interpretation is accurate or based on the bible.
Christianity doesn't make you special. It should make you humble.
Intellect is not evil. GOD GAVE YOU A MIND. There is a trend... especially in the very dramatic, emotion-fed branches of the church called 'charismatc' to 'deny the mind' and 'trust in God.' Morons. GOD GAVE YOU A MIND. He gave us brains, he gave us creativity, he gave us intellect, he gave us ability to learn, teach and adapt. THESE ARE GODLY THINGS. Both emotion and intellect can be mis-used. People can create an image of God that focuses on the one 'aspect' of God that appeals to them most. But God gave us intellect and emotion. They can work together. You do not have to commit intellectual suicide to be a Christian.
Faith isn't a fragile house of cards set to collapse if one card is knocked out of place. Many christians live their lives afraid to entertain doubts or explore thoughts that are out of 'place.' What a weak faith that is. Everything has to remain perfectly in order for them to believe. You see it in idiots who are 'totally blown away' by shit like The Da Vinci Code. If that tripe changes your life, you had little faith to begin with. That is what informs the EVOLUTION CAN'T HAPPEN BECAUSE IT CONTRADICTS THE BIBLE crowd. Evolution CAN'T POSSIBLY HAVE HAPPENED BECAUSE OH MY GOSH THEN THE BIBLE IS WRONG KABOOM.
God isn't pulling the strings of the world around you to make things happen. God gave us reason; to make decisions. The great commission is to spread the Gospel of Christ, not pray that God gives you that job you want. I'm not saying that it's wrong to pray for things going on in your life. But the life many christians lead is one of absolute inability to make decisions for themselves, just 'relying on God." Newsflash, morons: You can make choices. God gave you that ability.
God isn't 'calling' you to do that thing that makes NO SENSE for you to do. Okay, the bible is full of stories of God calling people to do things that were strange. I believe God works in mysterious ways. But I've known too many (I've been ONE of them) people who believe God is 'telling them to do something.' What this usually means is "I WANT TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL." It's selfish and self-centered.
Christianity isn't epic. I look and see that many people want their "christian experience" to be... a fantasy novel. Escapism. They want there every day life to be 'fantastic.' Life has moments of joy, places of real brilliance. But in general Christianity is an every day thing. This returns to the idea of emotion and God 'running things' and 'spiritual warfare.' It's EXCITING to be in a church where every day people are yelling and demons are being 'cast down in the name of Jesus' and every decision of your day is walked thinking you're in the middle of some battlefield. LIFE IS NOT LORD OF THE RINGS.
God isn't responsible for bands selling lots of records... or not. I've heard many musicians talk about their success or lack of success as "the will of God." "God opened up doors/closed doors." This is not exclusive to music. Ultimately it is the idea that "The will of God" happens. You got that new six figure income? The will of God. You're living in the poorhouse for a while? The will of God. Your band 'broke' and went platinum? Hey God's will! You didn't? God's will! It's hardly more than a convenient way for people to absolve themselves of responsibility, or that they just weren't good enough, or that... sometimes shit floats upstream and good bands/people/things don't get the break. The reality is that most people who subscribe to this theory of God's 'leading' live pretty cushy lives. The problem is this: the logical corollary of saying "God put this band here to sell a million records" is that you then have to say "God didn't put my band there." THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. It always relates to very first-world, middle-class concerns. It's also confusing. People will run into some kind of challenge/resistance in their endeavor and say "God wants us to push through." Or they'll say "God has clearly closed this door." How the hell can you tell? Does God want you to break through the closed door or not? If this whole thing works wouldn't he 'open' a door he wanted you to go through? If he's opening some doors why are you breaking down others? Or maybe it makes no sense and is stupid. Because sadly, when you get right down it... to believe this dangerous concept means you have to take it all the way. God's will is that your daughter got raped so 'the family could grow from it and learn to forgive.' Fuck you. God didn't want anybody to get raped, murdered, humiliated. God HELPS you through tragedy. He doesn't cause it or allow it in order to teach you 'something.'
Christianity isn't a solo experience. It's community . Something I truly lack.
Christianity isn't easy.
Christianity isn't hard.
Jesus Christ isn't made up, whatever you believe about him. That is more or less historical, outside of a minority of yelling people.
These thoughts, though they sound angry, are not anti-christian. They're not even anti-church. They're certainly not anti-religion. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the life. I believe Christianity offers the best hope for the world. My thoughts aren't all clear above but overall I've figured out a lot of what Christianity ISN'T;
I'm hoping to figure out a lot more of what it IS over the next couple years.
I have no desire to 'piece together' bits of theology and create a belief system that 'works for me.' Logically, if Christianity is true than there will be truths that are difficult for me to accept even as much as salvation through Christ is the key. There must be one branch of the faith out there that gets the biggest picture. I have not found anything close to that in "Evangelical Christianity."
With that said I honestly believe that the majority of Evangelical Christians have got it so wrong. The past few years have been a search of what christianity "isn't."
The Bible isn't an infallible magic book written by people possessed by the Holy Spirit. It is a collection of Jewish verbal tradition, prophecies, gospel accounts, and letters. Yes, the bible was 'written by men.' None of those things mean that the Bible is not valuable and essential to the Christian faith. But the lens needs to be reframed and the Scriptures must be read understanding that Paul was writing specifically to the church in Corinth in one letter, and to the Church at Thessalonia in another. Everything works together, must be read together.
The Bible doesn't always make sense or hang together but ultimately... those 'contradictions' are pretty minor and don't really change the key. To believe in God is to believe God is likely powerful enough to ensure that one of his main tools to teach us about Him is pretty much done up right. We just need to read it different.
The Book of Revelations isn't a literal rendering of the end of the world, it is a book written by John to strengthen the Church of the time, which was facing intense persecution. John may have had a vision; but you know what isn't right? People sitting here saying that they have the proper interpretation of it. Revelations is one of the most dense, confusing, symbolic books in the bible. How, exactly, has anybody figured out the fucking chronology of the Last Days? Stop it. Just stop. You know why? Because Christ said that even HE would not know the hour. SO STOP TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. One of the most goofy, out there pastors I've ever known had one thing right: All that matters is your relationship with Jesus. So between it not being POSSIBLE to get right and honestly, there are way more important things to spend your time on, shut up Kirk Cameron.
Science is not against God. Debating The Theory of Evolution with "BUT THE BIBLE SAID THIS" is not scientific and is not even really faith based. God gave you a brain; use it. I was so disappointed a year ago when I wandered into a "the case against evolution" seminar presented by an honest to God PHD. It was full of crap like "Noah's Ark would totally have fit this many animals" and "The bible is the literal word of God and it says SEVEN DAYS SO THERE." You might not be able to convince a hardline evolutionist that it could be wrong if you approach the subject with actual scientific method... but at least you won't sound like an idiot. Again: God gave us brains. Use them.
Pentacostal/charismatic style 'spiritual warfare' isn't real. "Things" are not capable of being evil or bring 'evil' into your life or home. Your home does not need to be 'cleansed.' You do not need to proclaim the name of Jesus over your television. Your stress levels are not caused by demonic oppression. Your 'secular' music does not contain drooling demons leaching out with 'spiritual tentacles' into your brain. Now this is one thing that I am still figuring out because Christ cast out many demons. To believe in Christ is to believe in all of it or what's the point? Thus there is a spiritual reality and there is a fallen order of angels that is against God's work. However, I'm sorry. I have been through the 'deliverance' bit, had things 'prayed out of me' and you know what? It was more or less all emotional hype. I do not know how demons and angels operate; I believe Christ when he says in his name I can command demons to come out; but that isn't what's happening under the jackass Rick Joyners and Todd Bentleys of the world.
Benny Hinn isn't a man of God. He's a fuckin' con artist. I can't say he's NOT a christian... but he's not a prophet or a priest. More on this later.
Christianity isn't a road to riches. Prosperity Gospel is a selfish, self-centered bit of twisted theology. You know why people love it? Because by golly, God is a loving God so WHY WOULD HE EVER WANT US TO SUFFER? Christ says not to worry --- he doesn't say God Will buy you a new Lexus. Most of the apostles were poor and died painful deaths. This leads to...
Comfort isn't promised by Christianity, at least in this life. Once a couple years ago I met a homeless man, he stunk of alcohol but told me about Jesus. I already knew him. When that man left I was wounded, wondering why he was on the street, why Jesus didn't save him. It struck me, or perhaps God whispered to me, but realization occured: for some, this life is harder than others. But as Christ said "the first shall be last, and the last first." That man and many others who have it hard in this world will be first in the next. That drunk hobo was a Christian.
There isn't a way to really tell if somebody is or isn't a Christian. Sure, people look at things like getting drunk, fucking around, doing all these obvious 'sins' to say 'oh they're not a real christian.' But my own experience says: When I was drinking and having sex and being far in the world from what I should be, I prayed. I prayed and prayed. And I was close to God even as my life was far. You cannot know the state of somebody's heart. That does not mean one should excuse sinful behavior, particularly that which disrupts the community and hurts others. But what you cannot say is "that person is not a christian." Christ said that people would come, doing 'miracles' in his name and he will say "I never knew you." I would be terrified if I was a 'great christian leader' that I would be one of those Christ spoke of. We do not know hearts. Pious appearing christians may have no salvation; drunkards may be welcome in the kingdom of heaven. The point: we are all sinners and all equally short of the perfection of God. Christ came to save us all so stop pointing your fingers at anybody else. He died for you too. You need him just as much. You can 'look to the fruit' but some slimeballs have seen some good fruit. Hey, people were 'saved' and ministered to by Bakker's Praise The Lord ministry. He was still an embezzling fraud.
Christianity isn't the words you use, the way you dress, the music you listen to, the political party you belong to, etc. That one's pretty old hat by now but unfortunately still needs to resonate.
Christianity is not a 'get out of hell free' card. If all unsaved are going to burn in the fiery depths of hell, then ultimately no matter how Christians phrase it (personal relationship with God, etc) it still boils down to 'oh by the way if you don't buy it you burn forever.' I do not know entirely what I believe about this still; I don't disbelieve in 'hell.' I am not convinced that the common modern interpretation is accurate or based on the bible.
Christianity doesn't make you special. It should make you humble.
Intellect is not evil. GOD GAVE YOU A MIND. There is a trend... especially in the very dramatic, emotion-fed branches of the church called 'charismatc' to 'deny the mind' and 'trust in God.' Morons. GOD GAVE YOU A MIND. He gave us brains, he gave us creativity, he gave us intellect, he gave us ability to learn, teach and adapt. THESE ARE GODLY THINGS. Both emotion and intellect can be mis-used. People can create an image of God that focuses on the one 'aspect' of God that appeals to them most. But God gave us intellect and emotion. They can work together. You do not have to commit intellectual suicide to be a Christian.
Faith isn't a fragile house of cards set to collapse if one card is knocked out of place. Many christians live their lives afraid to entertain doubts or explore thoughts that are out of 'place.' What a weak faith that is. Everything has to remain perfectly in order for them to believe. You see it in idiots who are 'totally blown away' by shit like The Da Vinci Code. If that tripe changes your life, you had little faith to begin with. That is what informs the EVOLUTION CAN'T HAPPEN BECAUSE IT CONTRADICTS THE BIBLE crowd. Evolution CAN'T POSSIBLY HAVE HAPPENED BECAUSE OH MY GOSH THEN THE BIBLE IS WRONG KABOOM.
God isn't pulling the strings of the world around you to make things happen. God gave us reason; to make decisions. The great commission is to spread the Gospel of Christ, not pray that God gives you that job you want. I'm not saying that it's wrong to pray for things going on in your life. But the life many christians lead is one of absolute inability to make decisions for themselves, just 'relying on God." Newsflash, morons: You can make choices. God gave you that ability.
God isn't 'calling' you to do that thing that makes NO SENSE for you to do. Okay, the bible is full of stories of God calling people to do things that were strange. I believe God works in mysterious ways. But I've known too many (I've been ONE of them) people who believe God is 'telling them to do something.' What this usually means is "I WANT TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL." It's selfish and self-centered.
Christianity isn't epic. I look and see that many people want their "christian experience" to be... a fantasy novel. Escapism. They want there every day life to be 'fantastic.' Life has moments of joy, places of real brilliance. But in general Christianity is an every day thing. This returns to the idea of emotion and God 'running things' and 'spiritual warfare.' It's EXCITING to be in a church where every day people are yelling and demons are being 'cast down in the name of Jesus' and every decision of your day is walked thinking you're in the middle of some battlefield. LIFE IS NOT LORD OF THE RINGS.
God isn't responsible for bands selling lots of records... or not. I've heard many musicians talk about their success or lack of success as "the will of God." "God opened up doors/closed doors." This is not exclusive to music. Ultimately it is the idea that "The will of God" happens. You got that new six figure income? The will of God. You're living in the poorhouse for a while? The will of God. Your band 'broke' and went platinum? Hey God's will! You didn't? God's will! It's hardly more than a convenient way for people to absolve themselves of responsibility, or that they just weren't good enough, or that... sometimes shit floats upstream and good bands/people/things don't get the break. The reality is that most people who subscribe to this theory of God's 'leading' live pretty cushy lives. The problem is this: the logical corollary of saying "God put this band here to sell a million records" is that you then have to say "God didn't put my band there." THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. It always relates to very first-world, middle-class concerns. It's also confusing. People will run into some kind of challenge/resistance in their endeavor and say "God wants us to push through." Or they'll say "God has clearly closed this door." How the hell can you tell? Does God want you to break through the closed door or not? If this whole thing works wouldn't he 'open' a door he wanted you to go through? If he's opening some doors why are you breaking down others? Or maybe it makes no sense and is stupid. Because sadly, when you get right down it... to believe this dangerous concept means you have to take it all the way. God's will is that your daughter got raped so 'the family could grow from it and learn to forgive.' Fuck you. God didn't want anybody to get raped, murdered, humiliated. God HELPS you through tragedy. He doesn't cause it or allow it in order to teach you 'something.'
Christianity isn't a solo experience. It's community . Something I truly lack.
Christianity isn't easy.
Christianity isn't hard.
Jesus Christ isn't made up, whatever you believe about him. That is more or less historical, outside of a minority of yelling people.
These thoughts, though they sound angry, are not anti-christian. They're not even anti-church. They're certainly not anti-religion. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the life. I believe Christianity offers the best hope for the world. My thoughts aren't all clear above but overall I've figured out a lot of what Christianity ISN'T;
I'm hoping to figure out a lot more of what it IS over the next couple years.