The rockstar and the pianist
Pairing: Ryoda, Ryo/Yoko/Hina friendship
Genre: Romance, fluff, angst, semi-AU
Rating: PG-13 (just to be safe)
Word Count: 5800ish
Summary: Ryo was famous, but unlucky in love, so after Hina and Yoko's encouragement he tries an online dating site and one of them is a match, Tatsuya Ueda, an average-joe pianist. At first their relationship is much like anybody else's, but soon Tatsuya finds the struggles of dating a celebrity. Can Tatsuya reconcile their different lifestyles?
Ryo was fed up with his mother nagging him to find somebody. Sure he was almost thirty, but being in a relationship wasn’t conducive to his lifestyle. He had tried it before, being in a relationship with someone, but it always ended up the same, ending after the strain of the distance and the need for him to be away on tour for long periods of time caused the other to break it off.
Initially he had been looking for long-term relationships, but after several disappointments, he reduced himself to a series of hookups and one night stands. His mother gave him the name of a website, and told him that online dating was the latest craze. As far as he knew, his mother had given up hope on him a long time ago, but it seems that after hearing a recommendation from one of her friends she had renewed hope. He scrutinized the business card that he held is his hand.
THE ONE
Having trouble finding a long lasting companion? Use THE ONE to find your match!
Ryo scoffed at the business card and threw it in a corner of the apartment, thinking nothing of it. A few days later Yoko and Hina stopped by his apartment for a couple of beers and the topic was resurrected after Yoko found the business card.
“What’s this?” Yoko teased, inspecting the business card.
“Nothing,” Ryo said and reached to grab the card, but Yoko tossed it to Hina who looked at it up and down.
“You should try it.” Hina said. “WHAT?” the other two exclaimed laughing at the ridiculousness of what Hina had suggested.
“You might find someone really nice on here, and if you don’t then at least you’ll get a few laughs.”
Ryo was skeptical, but when Hina told Yoko the story of a profile that one of his cousins was matched with on one of the online dating sites, and after Yoko had regained his composure from laughing so hard he insisted that Ryo use the website.
Ryo started filling out the basic questionnaire and clicked on both sexes for who he was interested in with Hina and Yoko intently leaning over his shoulder and reading what he wrote.
Q: What is your ideal date?
He clicked on 3 despite hearing Yoko’s protests over his shoulder said that he should have picked 4 to get an easy lay. The following questions followed suit, and much to his surprise and Yoko’s chagrin he chose the true answers. At the end there was a blank area to type in any information not covered in the questionnaire. Ryo hesitantly typed in something that was the truth, but only a half truth, “I’m a 28 year old musician looking for a long-term relationship. Sometimes I have a temper, but I’m a really nice guy once you get to know me. I’m pretty chill, although my job requires me to be away for long periods of time.”
When he finally pressed “submit” the screen changed and three matches appeared.
The first was a 47 year old woman, and Ryo, after seeing the age of the woman immediately closed out of her profile. Yoko made jokes about Ryo dating someone so much older than him and how people on the street would mistake them for mother and child. Hina, however, encouraged him to click on the other two profiles.
The second was a woman who lived with her parents and in the free response section said she had all of her pet cats taxidermied and slept with them at night. Ryo’s eyes bulged after reading this and he wasn’t sure if he should find it funny or be horrified by it. Yoko chose the first, so Ryo opted to be horrified.
After seeing the first two, Ryo wanted to give up, but after Yoko and Hina’s encouragement for obviously different reasons, Ryo clicked on the final profile. It was that of a man a few years younger than him. He read the words that the other man wrote, “I’m a pianist that’s looking for someone with a love of music. I’m a little shy, but very friendly, I love pets, I have two dogs currently. I like to go out and see and experience new things.”
“He seems normal,” Ryo thought out loud, but closed his notebook before the other two could saw anymore. Ryo ended the discussion there, and the three amused themselves with conversation about the latest gossip around the Jimusho, on the way out, while Yoko was distracted by Ryo’s next door neighbor, Hina took him aside and said, “You should try the last guy, it sounds like you two would get along.”
After the two left, Ryo took Hina’s advice, and figured it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. He typed out. “Hi, I saw your profile and it sounds like we have a lot in common. I’m a musician and I have a pet dog. I’m pretty relaxed. Sorry if this is awkward.” Ryo’s cursor hovered over the ‘send’ button and he’ll always claim that it was a muscle spasm that caused him to press down on the button.
He closed his laptop and retired for the night, but when he checked his e-mail the next morning he was pleasantly surprised to see that he had already received a message from the man he’d exchanged e-mails with.
“Hi, it does seem like we have a lot in common. Do you want to maybe meet up for coffee to get to know each other better? How does 1:00pm tomorrow at the Blue Moon Café in Shinjuku? I’ll have my cell phone with a dog charm on the table so that you can recognize me.” Ryo hesitantly responded and told him that he’d be there, but when he looked down, his palms were sweaty. What if the other was repulsed by him being a member of Kanjani8? What if he ended up liking the guy and it fell apart like all of his previous relationships?
The questions began to circulate around Ryo’s head, and he started to regret agreeing to meet up with the other man. He picked up the phone and called Hina, knowing that he was the only one that could calm the other’s fears.
“Hello,” Hina answered.
“So I took your advice and messaged the one guy like you suggested and he asked to meet up. I agreed, and now I’m starting to regret it. What if he doesn’t like me being in Kanjani8? What if we break up?” Ryo gushed out and for a moment, Hina paused, trying to digest all of the information that Ryo had just said.
“You’re getting ahead of yourself, he didn’t ask you to marry him, he asked you to meet up, and as far as your other questions you can cross that bridge when you come to it.” Hina consoled, and when Ryo hung up the phone, he felt slightly more comfortable about the impending meeting the next day. It had been a while since he’d dated much less a man, and he woke up well before the agreed upon time to try to figure out what outfit to wear.
“You’re acting like a girl,” he reprimanded himself after he saw the clothes that were scattered on his bed after uselessly trying to figure out a combination to wear. As the time approached to when he needed to leave to be on time, Ryo just picked a casual button down T-shirt and a pair of dark jeans. When Ryo found the café that they had arranged to meet at, he almost chicken out, but decided to give it a try remembering Hina’s words of encouragement. As he walked into the café, he could feel stares of recognition follow his every move, and he began to regret not wearing a disguise to the café.
He looked around the café until he found a man with tea-colored hair wearing a T-shirt and jeans whose cell phone was one the table and from it hung a dog charm. He hesitantly walked over and tapped the man on the shoulder, “Are you waiting for someone?” The man turned his head and when Ryo saw his face he realized how handsome the other was. The sitting man looked up at him and blinked in recognition, and Ryo began to feel a sense of dread knowing that he shouldn’t have come, but seeing the growing anxiety on Ryo’s face, the other man regained his composure. “Are you the guy from THE ONE?” He asked and Ryo nodded, though he didn’t appreciate being identified as ‘the guy from THE ONE’. He outstretched his hand and introduced himself, although he felt that there was no need to do that, “I’m Nishikido Ryo and, yes, I am the guy from THE ONE.”
The other man shook his hand and nodded politely, “I’m Ueda Tatsuya. It’s nice to meet you.” For somebody who obviously knew who he was, Ryo was surprised at Tatsuya’s reaction. At first the conversation was stilted and awkward, and Tatsuya felt the weight of everyone’s stares on the two and began to feel uncomfortable. Ryo noticed the other’s discomfort and reached out for his hand, leading him out of the café.
“Better?” he asked, and Tatsuya nodded, his eyes bulging at them holding hands and when Ryo realized that their hands were still connected he quickly dropped Tatsuya’s hand. “What type of music do you like?” Ryo asked him. “Well I usually play classical, but I enjoy listening to all types. For fun, I learn how to play more mainstream songs, not just Beethoven and Bach, and lately I’ve become obsessed with Mr. Children.” Once Tatsuya started talking about music, his eyes lit up and they easily struck up conversation about their favorite bands and commented on modern music. As they were walking along the streets of Shinjuku, Ryo quickly fell into step with Tatsuya and they began to shed the initial awkwardness and soon both of them were cracking up. As they continued to walk, their hands occasionally bumped together and after several times, Tatsuya intertwined him fingers with Ryo’s. They leisurely talked about their interests and happily discovered that many of theirs overlapped.
When it came time for dinner, they stopped at a food stand on the street and picked up hot dogs. “I never would have imagined that the famous Ryo Nishikido would be this way,” Tatsuya mused and Ryo looked at him inquisitively. “How did you imagine me being?”
“Well, more caught up in the life of a famous musician.” Tatsuya said. “I for sure didn’t think you’d eat a hot dog from a stand or meet someone at a café.” Ryo stared off into space, unsure of what to make of Tatsuya’s comments.
“It’s just a job, you know. I’m part of Kanjani8 because I love to perform and make people happy, but it’s the same as a construction worker or a doctor or a lawyer. I’m just someone who is doing something because they love it.”
“Nevertheless you have tons of fans by living that lifestyle so why did you have to use an online dating site?” Tatsuya asked.
Ryo sighed and stretched knowing that he had to answer the question, “My fans are in love with the idea of me, but once they try it out, a lot of them are disenchanted by reality. I haven’t been in a relationship in years, so my mother, and two of my best friends encouraged me to try it out. But I could ask you the same question?”
Tatsuya blushed, “My life revolves around the piano and my sister thinks it’s hard for me to meet people so she signed me up.” They continued to chat until dusk fell upon them and they were forced to begrudgingly say goodbye, as Ryo went to leave, Tatsuya stopped him and quietly asked if they could exchange cell phone numbers. Ryo looked at Tatsuya’s embarrassed face and though How cute! before he reached into his pocket for his handphone. The exchanged numbers and parted.
The next day, Ryo woke up and found two new SMSs from Tatsuya and a third from Hina, the first was to thank him for the fun time the day before and the second was to ask him if he had any plans for the following day and the third was from Hina who asked him how it went. Ryo first replied to Tatsuya and thanked him as well and told him that he had a concert the next day. Instead of sending an SMS to Hina, he ended up calling him.
When Hina picked up Ryo gushed about how well it went and how nice and smart and adorable Tatsuya was. Hina was happy for his friend, he truly was, but he worried for him. From the way that Ryo was talking it seemed like things could get serious between the two and quickly from the looks of it. “You should invite him to our concert tomorrow, to introduce him to your world quickly that way he can know if he likes it or not.” Ryo thought that that was a good idea so after he hung up the phone from talking to Hina he decided to call Tatsuya.
“Hello,” the voice on the other end replied slightly irritated.
“Sorry, did I call at a bad time?” Ryo asked.
“No, sorry, I’m just having a bad rehearsal, anyways what’s up?” Tatsuya sounded more chipper this time so Ryo though it would be okay to continue.
“So, Kanjani8 is having a concert tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come to the show and meet the guys afterwards.”
“Isn’t that a little fast?” Tatsuya asked.
“Nevermind.” Ryo tried to backtrack but it was too late.
“No, sorry, correction, I’d love to come! I’ll see you there. I have to go.” Tatsuya said. Ryo felt relieved after Tatsuya agreed to come and he smiled as he hung up the phone. Throughout the rest of the day they continued to SMS each other, and before he went to sleep he received one last message from Tatsuya.
To: Ryo
From: Tatsuya
I’m really looking forward to tomorrow and seeing you in action. J Ganbatte. Goodnight!
Ryo smiled as he read the message and quickly sent a reply saying goodnight ant that they’d see each other before the show so that he could give him his ticket and went to sleep.
When they were supposed to meet up before the show, Tatsuya stood in the middle of the bustling plaza in front of the arena looking futilely for Ryo, until he felt himself being grabbed from behind and someone covering his mouth. Tatsuya was about to punch the other until he heard Ryo’s voice from behind, “Shh… Don’t say anything.” Tatsuya wordlessly nodded and Ryo unclamped his mouth. When he turned around he saw Ryo wearing a large hat, sunglasses, and a scarf that covered his mouth. Ryo put a ticket in his hand and explained that he’d be sitting with another one of Ryo’s friends Pi.
Ryo said goodbye until after the show, and Tatsuya entered the complex to find his seat. When he sat down, the man that Ryo had called Pi was already there and in a similar getup as Ryo. When he took off his glasses, Tatsuya realized that he was Yamashita Tomohisa, the famous idol. They quickly got to talking after they introduced themselves and Tatsuya was immediately put at ease by Pi’s friendly demeanor. After the complex filled up, the lights dimmed and the show started with Tatsuya’s eyes fixed on Ryo the entire time. On stage, Ryo was completely different than the man that he had met over the past few days. He was sexy, flirtatious, and witty and his name echoed throughout the stadium as the concert went on.
When people had begun to leave once the finale was over, Pi led Ueda backstage to meet the other band members. When Ryo introduced Ueda as ‘a good friend’ both Hina and Yoko teased him and eagerly welcomed Ueda among them. The other members greeted him warmly and Tatsuya smiled. Ryo decided that he’d take Tatsuya home and while he was momentarily distracted Hina took Tatsuya aside and said, “If you don’t think you can handle dating Ryo because of his job break up with him now. I like you and I think that you might be the type of person that Ryo needs, but if you don’t think you can handle him, break it off before he gets hurt.”
Hina’s warning echoed in Tatsuya’s mind, but he thought back to what Ryo said in explaining his job. It’s just a job, you know… I’m just someone who is doing something because they love it. Tatsuya knew that Ryo would have a demanding schedule, but he also practiced a lot with piano and thought he knew what it was like to juggle work and an outside life. As they walked to Tatsuya’s apartment, he told Ryo his impressions of the concert and how he couldn’t believe the number of fans that Ryo had, he also commented on meeting Kanjani8, but omitted what Hina had said. Hearing that Tatsuya liked his friends made Ryo grin from ear to ear and when they finally got to the door to his apartment, before saying goodbye, Ryo pressed him up against the door and leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met tenderly and slowly Ryo added more pressure and moved his tongue against Tatsuya’s lips asking for permission to enter. Tatsuya obliged and soon their tongues were intertwined, exploring the insides of the others mouth.
When they began to grasp for air, Ryo pulled away saying goodnight for the evening and Tatsuya moved his fingers to where Ryo’s lips had just been a moment before. Soon after that night, Tatsuya and Ryo became inseparable and met up several times a week, often, they would meet up for something laid back, sometimes going for dinner and a movie or just staying in and talking over some take-out. On one such occasion, after a few weeks of dating when Tatsuya was sitting in Ryo’s lap as they watched the news, talking about nothing and everything, until Tatsuya realized what time it was. He motioned to leave, but as he stood up, Ryo reached out and grabbed his wrist. When Tatsuya looked back, Ryo’s head was bent down, but a flush of embarrassment covered his cheeks. “Do you want to stay the night?”
Tatsuya bent down and cupped Ryo’s face pulling him in for a kiss. Ryo stood up and gently started to move them into the bedroom. Their kisses picked up pace and soon they found themselves in a struggle to undress each other. The night was full of sweet lovemaking as they took their relationship to the next level and they fell asleep in each other’s arms, and when Ryo looked down to the body that lay in his arms he thanked God for the twist of fate that pulled the two together.
When Tatsuya woke up, he saw Ryo playing his guitar on the floor having put on a pair of sweatpants since he woke up earlier. When he saw Tatsuya’s gaze on him he smiled and reached over to smooth the hair out of his eyes. “How are you feeling?” he asked concernedly. “A little sore,” Tatsuya said honestly, but smiled nonetheless. “It was nice hearing you play.” He said and Ryo blushed at that.
“I don’t know if you’re busy on Wednesday, but I’m playing at a jazz bar, and it would mean a lot to me if you were there.” Ryo beamed and his heart leapt, “I’d be honored to be there.” Ryo leaned over and kissed Tatsuya. “I love you.” He said afterwards and Tatsuya smiled a smile that took Ryo’s breath away. “I love you too.”
Throughout the week leading up to Tatsuya’s performance, he was occupied with practice so they weren’t able to meet up, but Ryo sent Tatsuya encouraging messages full of emoticons, and every time Tatsuya’s phone would vibrate, a smile lit up his face.
When Ryo appeared, he looked around the jazz bar and saw a few faces that he recognized. There were a few music producers in the audience and some prominent jazz players, but many of the people were just jazz aficionados. Ryo, for a moment had forgotten who he was like many times when he was around Tatsuya, and hadn’t worn a disguise, but before the performance people started to approach him asking for an autograph or a picture together. Ryo obliged, although he wished they would leave him alone. The lights dimmed but they people kept coming and when it was Tatsuya’s turn, he was still swarmed by other girls. Tatsuya exhaled nervously on the stage, and he noticed that many of the audience member’s attention was diverted. He followed their gaze and saw Ryo there, who happily applauded him and tried to avoid the attention. He frowned, but when he made eye contact with Ryo, Ryo gave him encouraging signal and he unfolded his sheet music.
Tatsuya started plucking away at the keys, playing a melodic tune that mesmerized and enchanted Ryo as he watched his boyfriend play a lively tune and realized that it was the first time that he had heard him play. Unfortunately, Tatsuya’s piece ended far too soon for his liking. And when Tatsuya took a bow, he noticed that though people were applauding, they were doing it absent-mindedly and they were still looking at the most famous person there: Ryo.
In the backstage area, Tatsuya frowned, he remembered the Kanjani8 concert and how everyone had given Ryo their undivided attention. Why shouldn’t it be the same way in real life? Although he was grateful that his boyfriend was there, today had been his big night and nobody even paid attention to him. When Ryo went backstage after the performance he handed him a bouquet of flowers and praised his performance, and Tatsuya laughed to himself sarcastically, Ryo was probably the only person who paid any attention to his performance. But nevertheless he smiled and after saying goodbye to a few people they walked home. Ryo offered to have Tatsuya stay over at his place for the evening, but Tatsuya politely declined, and though Ryo wasn’t sure, he thought that something was a little off about Tatsuya today.
When they reached Tatsuya’s door Ryo kissed him goodnight, and Tatsuya thanked him for being there that night. Unfortunately, neither of them heard the camera shutter snap when they kissed.
The next day, Tatsuya heard a pounding on the door to his apartment, and groggily opened up to a barrage of photographers and news reporters taking his picture, and as soon as he realized what was happening he slammed the door in their faces. His phone started to ring and when he picked up his mother was crying on the phone saying that weird men were outside their homes asking them about Ryo Nishikido’s relationship with her son.
Tatsuya didn’t know what to do, but he panicked and called Ryo, jolting him from his slumber. “There are a ton of people outside my apartment and my mother’s house, I have no idea why they are there or what they want but they are asking about you and my relationship with you, and I can’t leave because there are so many of them.”
Ryo swore when he heard the news, “Someone must have followed us home last night, stay there, I’ll come and get you.” Ryo called his manager, who began yelling at him the minute he received his call. Apparently there was a news article run in the morning paper about him and Tatsuya and they had photographic evidence of their relationship.”
Ryo ran to Tatsuya’s apartment and when he saw the number of people there he realized what a grave situation they found themselves in. Ryo pushed his way through the paparazzi not caring that they were taking his picture or that his actions would spark even more rumors. He started banging on the door, and it was only when Tatsuya was completely sure that it was Ryo at the door that he opened it.
Locking the door behind him, Ryo noticed that Tatsuya was visibly shaken and Ryo wrapped his arms around him. “They are at my mother’s and sister’s places as well. They’re harassing them because we are together.”
“I’m so sorry.” Ryo said as tears began to stream down his face, “I’m so sorry that your and their privacy was invaded because of me. Because I fell in love with you, but I promise you that they will leave you alone soon.”
After finding out that Ryo was at Tatsuya’s home, his manager came to retrieve him, knowing that the worst thing right now was for the two of them to be seen together and Ryo begrudgingly left Tatsuya alone hoping that Ryo’s words would prove true. But after several days, Tatsuya was continually followed everywhere he went and it unnerved him. He had fallen in love with Ryo, but had not wanted to be a victim of paparazzi and in constant fear of messing up while being followed. As the days progressed, Tatsuya began to feel bitter towards Ryo and hateful of what being in a relationship meant and the sacrifices he would have to make as he thought back to his performance at the jazz bar.
So he finally picked up his courage and dialed Ryo’s number, “Is there someplace we can meet?” He asked, and Ryo gave him the address of a place that he was sure they would not be seen. When they finally met up, Tatsuya spotted Ryo heavily disguised and sat next to him. “We need to talk.”
“I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry, I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. I can’t stand having other people, strangers, watch my every move. I don’t want to constantly be concerned that my mother and sister are being bombarded by paparazzi’s questions. I don’t want, when it’s my turn in the spotlight, evreryone’s attention to be on you. I don’t want to hate you or our relationship because of what you job is, but I can’t live like this.” Tears had begun to trickle down Ryo’s face, and he didn’t even try to hide it.
“Is that how you feel? Like being with me is a burden?” And when Tatsuya didn’t respond, he knew what the answer to that question was. “But I love you.”
Tatsuya smiled one of the saddest smiles that ever existed at Ryo and his own tears began to cascade down his face, “I love you too, but that’s not enough. If you were anybody else we wouldn’t have this problem, but you are Nishikido Ryo of Kanjani8, and I’m just some pianist who likes his privacy.”
Before Ryo could say anything else Tatsuya stood up and left while he still had the conviction to do so and even when he was far away from Ryo, he could swear that he still heard the other man’s sobs.
Over the next several weeks, the number of paparazzi following him trailed off, and soon he became known as the guy who looks like the guy who used to date Nishikido Ryo. Ryo drowned his sorrows in alcohol, cursing Hina and Yoko for encouraging him to use that damn site, but even more so cursing himself. He knew that everything Tatsuya said was true. If he was just an office worker, they could have been together, but he was famous, he face was plastered all over Tokyo and everybody knew his name, and there was no way that Tatsuya could have privacy being with him.
About three months after they had broken up, neither was over the other, and seeing the depression that Ryo had fallen into, Hina found out Tatsuya’s address and went over there much to Tatsuya’s surprise. “I warned you about not knowing what you were getting into.” He said to Tatsuya though he didn’t mean it to sound as mean as it came out.
“I can’t sacrifice my freedom like that, I can’t be the only one in a relationship to make sacrifices.”
“Haven’t you noticed what Ryo has been sacrificing for you? He gave up a huge audition so that he could go to your performance, if you read the newspapers, he’s in there all the time after having made deals with the media to keep you out. One broke the deal and that’s why your privacy was invaded for a small amount of time. Ryo has had to deal with this for over half his life. So don’t you dare saw that you were the only one making sacrifices in this relationship.” Hina hissed, but change his tone to a gentler one as he continued, “I know that it’s hard for a lot of people to date celebrities, but Ryo loves you, more than I’ve ever seen him love anybody else. His other relationships had ended for similar reasons, and I really had hoped that yours wouldn’t end like that.”
“How is he?” Tatsuya asked unsure if he wanted to know the response.
Hina shook his head, “Not good.” He put a business card down on the table across from Tatsuya and got up to leave, “If you want to see him, he’s usually there every day around 9pm”. After he left, Tatsuya examined the business card, it was a bar. Was Ryo getting drunk all the time? Did Ryo miss him as much as he missed the other? After he had broken it off, he had begun to regret it, because like Hina said, Ryo truly loved him, and it was with Ryo that he had been the happiest he’d even been. When he thought to the sacrifices that Ryo had to make for his sake, he regretted the blame that he had put on Ryo, but when he had weighed the benefits and problems of their relationship, he realized that the benefits of being with Ryo far outweighed the consequences.
It took him three days to muster the courage to go to the address that Hina had given him, and even then he stood in the shadows until he found Ryo at the bar, drowning himself in shot after shot, and soon he begin to see Ryo talking drunkenly to the bartender, probably telling him his problems. And Tatsuya felt his heart clench at seeing Ryo in that state. He ran outside and bent over, “I’m so sorry, Ryo.”
He headed over to Ryo’s apartment and sat on the ground waiting for him to return. When Ryo did return he staggered along the length of the hallway and didn’t even realize that Tatsuya was there. He opened the door and Tatsuya slipped in. When Ryo saw him, he didn’t even realize that it was actually Tatsuya there. “Shit, I’m even hallucinating now. He was the love of my life,” Ryo muttered, “And I screwed it up.” Ryo sobbed in the privacy of his home and Tatsuya went over to him and hugged him from behind. “Shhh. I’m here.” But the words fell on deaf ears, as Ryo must have imagined those words again and again.
Tatsuya stayed the night, waiting for morning to come so they could talk, when Ryo got up, he had a pounding headache, but to his even greater surprise, Tatsuya was in his kitchen. It wasn’t a dream. Ryo thought and he immediately began to wonder what Tatsuya was doing there. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ryo.” Tatsuya immediately started apologizing. “If I could take back those cruel things I said I would. These past few months have been hell for me, and from the looks of it, for you too, and I still love you. I’m sorry for not noticing the sacrifices you’ve made for me, and your consideration for me and if I could change the fact that I broke up with you I would. I’m so sorry, but I still love you and I can’t live without you by my side.” Tatsuya looked up expectantly at Ryo and waited for a reply.
“Can I have some time to think about it?” Ryo asked honestly, and though Tatsuya turned his head to hide his reaction from Ryo, the disappointed look on his face did not go unnoticed.
“I understand.” Tatsuya replied and left Ryo thinking about what had just happened. When he rehashed what Tatsuya had said in his speech to Yoko and Hina, Yoko slapped the back of his head. “He made a mistake, but our world is overwhelming for a lot of people. The fact that after three months he still wants you back means that he has really considered the circumstances and he doesn’t care, he just wants to be with you.”
“I can’t go through it again, though.” Ryo said pitifully. “I love him so much.”
“Tell him that. Tell him that he has to be in it for the long-term or not at all. Tell him that you are terrified of losing him again like that.” Ryo nodded, and headed for Tatsuya’s music studio that he had only been to once before. When Ryo entered, he heard a sad melody echoing through the room that made Ryo want to cry. He peered around the door to see Tatsuya playing the piano. Slowly the notes trailed off and Ryo began to see tears stream down Tatsuya’s face and he buried his head in his hands and broke down on the piano bench.
Ryo entered the room and sadly looked at the huddled up figure on the piano bench. “I want to give us another try.” Ryo said, and Tatsuya looked up at him with hopeful eyes, “But now that you know what my life is like, you have to be in it for the long term. I won’t be able to handle it if you break up with me again.” When Tatsuya looked up into his eyes he saw determination and a glint of fear in them, and he quickly stood up and wrapped his arms around the other.
“Ryo, I need you. I love you so much, and this time I’m not going to let go.” Tears began to overflow from their eyes, but for the first time in a long time they were happy tears. Ryo leaned down to kiss Tatsuya and they stood in the middle of the piano studio for a while, enjoying the moment they shared together, and they knew that the only one for them was the other. “I love you.” Ryo said.
“I love you, too”. Tatsuya replied as he buried his head in the other man’s chest and felt the warmth of the other that he had missed for all those months having been separated.
AN: Please drop a comment and if there is anything you'd like to read please let me know in my request post.
Genre: Romance, fluff, angst, semi-AU
Rating: PG-13 (just to be safe)
Word Count: 5800ish
Summary: Ryo was famous, but unlucky in love, so after Hina and Yoko's encouragement he tries an online dating site and one of them is a match, Tatsuya Ueda, an average-joe pianist. At first their relationship is much like anybody else's, but soon Tatsuya finds the struggles of dating a celebrity. Can Tatsuya reconcile their different lifestyles?
Ryo was fed up with his mother nagging him to find somebody. Sure he was almost thirty, but being in a relationship wasn’t conducive to his lifestyle. He had tried it before, being in a relationship with someone, but it always ended up the same, ending after the strain of the distance and the need for him to be away on tour for long periods of time caused the other to break it off.
Initially he had been looking for long-term relationships, but after several disappointments, he reduced himself to a series of hookups and one night stands. His mother gave him the name of a website, and told him that online dating was the latest craze. As far as he knew, his mother had given up hope on him a long time ago, but it seems that after hearing a recommendation from one of her friends she had renewed hope. He scrutinized the business card that he held is his hand.
THE ONE
Having trouble finding a long lasting companion? Use THE ONE to find your match!
Ryo scoffed at the business card and threw it in a corner of the apartment, thinking nothing of it. A few days later Yoko and Hina stopped by his apartment for a couple of beers and the topic was resurrected after Yoko found the business card.
“What’s this?” Yoko teased, inspecting the business card.
“Nothing,” Ryo said and reached to grab the card, but Yoko tossed it to Hina who looked at it up and down.
“You should try it.” Hina said. “WHAT?” the other two exclaimed laughing at the ridiculousness of what Hina had suggested.
“You might find someone really nice on here, and if you don’t then at least you’ll get a few laughs.”
Ryo was skeptical, but when Hina told Yoko the story of a profile that one of his cousins was matched with on one of the online dating sites, and after Yoko had regained his composure from laughing so hard he insisted that Ryo use the website.
Ryo started filling out the basic questionnaire and clicked on both sexes for who he was interested in with Hina and Yoko intently leaning over his shoulder and reading what he wrote.
Q: What is your ideal date?
- Clubbing.
- Going to dinner and movie
- Staying home and getting takeout.
- Don’t date, just have sex.
He clicked on 3 despite hearing Yoko’s protests over his shoulder said that he should have picked 4 to get an easy lay. The following questions followed suit, and much to his surprise and Yoko’s chagrin he chose the true answers. At the end there was a blank area to type in any information not covered in the questionnaire. Ryo hesitantly typed in something that was the truth, but only a half truth, “I’m a 28 year old musician looking for a long-term relationship. Sometimes I have a temper, but I’m a really nice guy once you get to know me. I’m pretty chill, although my job requires me to be away for long periods of time.”
When he finally pressed “submit” the screen changed and three matches appeared.
The first was a 47 year old woman, and Ryo, after seeing the age of the woman immediately closed out of her profile. Yoko made jokes about Ryo dating someone so much older than him and how people on the street would mistake them for mother and child. Hina, however, encouraged him to click on the other two profiles.
The second was a woman who lived with her parents and in the free response section said she had all of her pet cats taxidermied and slept with them at night. Ryo’s eyes bulged after reading this and he wasn’t sure if he should find it funny or be horrified by it. Yoko chose the first, so Ryo opted to be horrified.
After seeing the first two, Ryo wanted to give up, but after Yoko and Hina’s encouragement for obviously different reasons, Ryo clicked on the final profile. It was that of a man a few years younger than him. He read the words that the other man wrote, “I’m a pianist that’s looking for someone with a love of music. I’m a little shy, but very friendly, I love pets, I have two dogs currently. I like to go out and see and experience new things.”
“He seems normal,” Ryo thought out loud, but closed his notebook before the other two could saw anymore. Ryo ended the discussion there, and the three amused themselves with conversation about the latest gossip around the Jimusho, on the way out, while Yoko was distracted by Ryo’s next door neighbor, Hina took him aside and said, “You should try the last guy, it sounds like you two would get along.”
After the two left, Ryo took Hina’s advice, and figured it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. He typed out. “Hi, I saw your profile and it sounds like we have a lot in common. I’m a musician and I have a pet dog. I’m pretty relaxed. Sorry if this is awkward.” Ryo’s cursor hovered over the ‘send’ button and he’ll always claim that it was a muscle spasm that caused him to press down on the button.
He closed his laptop and retired for the night, but when he checked his e-mail the next morning he was pleasantly surprised to see that he had already received a message from the man he’d exchanged e-mails with.
“Hi, it does seem like we have a lot in common. Do you want to maybe meet up for coffee to get to know each other better? How does 1:00pm tomorrow at the Blue Moon Café in Shinjuku? I’ll have my cell phone with a dog charm on the table so that you can recognize me.” Ryo hesitantly responded and told him that he’d be there, but when he looked down, his palms were sweaty. What if the other was repulsed by him being a member of Kanjani8? What if he ended up liking the guy and it fell apart like all of his previous relationships?
The questions began to circulate around Ryo’s head, and he started to regret agreeing to meet up with the other man. He picked up the phone and called Hina, knowing that he was the only one that could calm the other’s fears.
“Hello,” Hina answered.
“So I took your advice and messaged the one guy like you suggested and he asked to meet up. I agreed, and now I’m starting to regret it. What if he doesn’t like me being in Kanjani8? What if we break up?” Ryo gushed out and for a moment, Hina paused, trying to digest all of the information that Ryo had just said.
“You’re getting ahead of yourself, he didn’t ask you to marry him, he asked you to meet up, and as far as your other questions you can cross that bridge when you come to it.” Hina consoled, and when Ryo hung up the phone, he felt slightly more comfortable about the impending meeting the next day. It had been a while since he’d dated much less a man, and he woke up well before the agreed upon time to try to figure out what outfit to wear.
“You’re acting like a girl,” he reprimanded himself after he saw the clothes that were scattered on his bed after uselessly trying to figure out a combination to wear. As the time approached to when he needed to leave to be on time, Ryo just picked a casual button down T-shirt and a pair of dark jeans. When Ryo found the café that they had arranged to meet at, he almost chicken out, but decided to give it a try remembering Hina’s words of encouragement. As he walked into the café, he could feel stares of recognition follow his every move, and he began to regret not wearing a disguise to the café.
He looked around the café until he found a man with tea-colored hair wearing a T-shirt and jeans whose cell phone was one the table and from it hung a dog charm. He hesitantly walked over and tapped the man on the shoulder, “Are you waiting for someone?” The man turned his head and when Ryo saw his face he realized how handsome the other was. The sitting man looked up at him and blinked in recognition, and Ryo began to feel a sense of dread knowing that he shouldn’t have come, but seeing the growing anxiety on Ryo’s face, the other man regained his composure. “Are you the guy from THE ONE?” He asked and Ryo nodded, though he didn’t appreciate being identified as ‘the guy from THE ONE’. He outstretched his hand and introduced himself, although he felt that there was no need to do that, “I’m Nishikido Ryo and, yes, I am the guy from THE ONE.”
The other man shook his hand and nodded politely, “I’m Ueda Tatsuya. It’s nice to meet you.” For somebody who obviously knew who he was, Ryo was surprised at Tatsuya’s reaction. At first the conversation was stilted and awkward, and Tatsuya felt the weight of everyone’s stares on the two and began to feel uncomfortable. Ryo noticed the other’s discomfort and reached out for his hand, leading him out of the café.
“Better?” he asked, and Tatsuya nodded, his eyes bulging at them holding hands and when Ryo realized that their hands were still connected he quickly dropped Tatsuya’s hand. “What type of music do you like?” Ryo asked him. “Well I usually play classical, but I enjoy listening to all types. For fun, I learn how to play more mainstream songs, not just Beethoven and Bach, and lately I’ve become obsessed with Mr. Children.” Once Tatsuya started talking about music, his eyes lit up and they easily struck up conversation about their favorite bands and commented on modern music. As they were walking along the streets of Shinjuku, Ryo quickly fell into step with Tatsuya and they began to shed the initial awkwardness and soon both of them were cracking up. As they continued to walk, their hands occasionally bumped together and after several times, Tatsuya intertwined him fingers with Ryo’s. They leisurely talked about their interests and happily discovered that many of theirs overlapped.
When it came time for dinner, they stopped at a food stand on the street and picked up hot dogs. “I never would have imagined that the famous Ryo Nishikido would be this way,” Tatsuya mused and Ryo looked at him inquisitively. “How did you imagine me being?”
“Well, more caught up in the life of a famous musician.” Tatsuya said. “I for sure didn’t think you’d eat a hot dog from a stand or meet someone at a café.” Ryo stared off into space, unsure of what to make of Tatsuya’s comments.
“It’s just a job, you know. I’m part of Kanjani8 because I love to perform and make people happy, but it’s the same as a construction worker or a doctor or a lawyer. I’m just someone who is doing something because they love it.”
“Nevertheless you have tons of fans by living that lifestyle so why did you have to use an online dating site?” Tatsuya asked.
Ryo sighed and stretched knowing that he had to answer the question, “My fans are in love with the idea of me, but once they try it out, a lot of them are disenchanted by reality. I haven’t been in a relationship in years, so my mother, and two of my best friends encouraged me to try it out. But I could ask you the same question?”
Tatsuya blushed, “My life revolves around the piano and my sister thinks it’s hard for me to meet people so she signed me up.” They continued to chat until dusk fell upon them and they were forced to begrudgingly say goodbye, as Ryo went to leave, Tatsuya stopped him and quietly asked if they could exchange cell phone numbers. Ryo looked at Tatsuya’s embarrassed face and though How cute! before he reached into his pocket for his handphone. The exchanged numbers and parted.
The next day, Ryo woke up and found two new SMSs from Tatsuya and a third from Hina, the first was to thank him for the fun time the day before and the second was to ask him if he had any plans for the following day and the third was from Hina who asked him how it went. Ryo first replied to Tatsuya and thanked him as well and told him that he had a concert the next day. Instead of sending an SMS to Hina, he ended up calling him.
When Hina picked up Ryo gushed about how well it went and how nice and smart and adorable Tatsuya was. Hina was happy for his friend, he truly was, but he worried for him. From the way that Ryo was talking it seemed like things could get serious between the two and quickly from the looks of it. “You should invite him to our concert tomorrow, to introduce him to your world quickly that way he can know if he likes it or not.” Ryo thought that that was a good idea so after he hung up the phone from talking to Hina he decided to call Tatsuya.
“Hello,” the voice on the other end replied slightly irritated.
“Sorry, did I call at a bad time?” Ryo asked.
“No, sorry, I’m just having a bad rehearsal, anyways what’s up?” Tatsuya sounded more chipper this time so Ryo though it would be okay to continue.
“So, Kanjani8 is having a concert tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come to the show and meet the guys afterwards.”
“Isn’t that a little fast?” Tatsuya asked.
“Nevermind.” Ryo tried to backtrack but it was too late.
“No, sorry, correction, I’d love to come! I’ll see you there. I have to go.” Tatsuya said. Ryo felt relieved after Tatsuya agreed to come and he smiled as he hung up the phone. Throughout the rest of the day they continued to SMS each other, and before he went to sleep he received one last message from Tatsuya.
To: Ryo
From: Tatsuya
I’m really looking forward to tomorrow and seeing you in action. J Ganbatte. Goodnight!
Ryo smiled as he read the message and quickly sent a reply saying goodnight ant that they’d see each other before the show so that he could give him his ticket and went to sleep.
When they were supposed to meet up before the show, Tatsuya stood in the middle of the bustling plaza in front of the arena looking futilely for Ryo, until he felt himself being grabbed from behind and someone covering his mouth. Tatsuya was about to punch the other until he heard Ryo’s voice from behind, “Shh… Don’t say anything.” Tatsuya wordlessly nodded and Ryo unclamped his mouth. When he turned around he saw Ryo wearing a large hat, sunglasses, and a scarf that covered his mouth. Ryo put a ticket in his hand and explained that he’d be sitting with another one of Ryo’s friends Pi.
Ryo said goodbye until after the show, and Tatsuya entered the complex to find his seat. When he sat down, the man that Ryo had called Pi was already there and in a similar getup as Ryo. When he took off his glasses, Tatsuya realized that he was Yamashita Tomohisa, the famous idol. They quickly got to talking after they introduced themselves and Tatsuya was immediately put at ease by Pi’s friendly demeanor. After the complex filled up, the lights dimmed and the show started with Tatsuya’s eyes fixed on Ryo the entire time. On stage, Ryo was completely different than the man that he had met over the past few days. He was sexy, flirtatious, and witty and his name echoed throughout the stadium as the concert went on.
When people had begun to leave once the finale was over, Pi led Ueda backstage to meet the other band members. When Ryo introduced Ueda as ‘a good friend’ both Hina and Yoko teased him and eagerly welcomed Ueda among them. The other members greeted him warmly and Tatsuya smiled. Ryo decided that he’d take Tatsuya home and while he was momentarily distracted Hina took Tatsuya aside and said, “If you don’t think you can handle dating Ryo because of his job break up with him now. I like you and I think that you might be the type of person that Ryo needs, but if you don’t think you can handle him, break it off before he gets hurt.”
Hina’s warning echoed in Tatsuya’s mind, but he thought back to what Ryo said in explaining his job. It’s just a job, you know… I’m just someone who is doing something because they love it. Tatsuya knew that Ryo would have a demanding schedule, but he also practiced a lot with piano and thought he knew what it was like to juggle work and an outside life. As they walked to Tatsuya’s apartment, he told Ryo his impressions of the concert and how he couldn’t believe the number of fans that Ryo had, he also commented on meeting Kanjani8, but omitted what Hina had said. Hearing that Tatsuya liked his friends made Ryo grin from ear to ear and when they finally got to the door to his apartment, before saying goodbye, Ryo pressed him up against the door and leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met tenderly and slowly Ryo added more pressure and moved his tongue against Tatsuya’s lips asking for permission to enter. Tatsuya obliged and soon their tongues were intertwined, exploring the insides of the others mouth.
When they began to grasp for air, Ryo pulled away saying goodnight for the evening and Tatsuya moved his fingers to where Ryo’s lips had just been a moment before. Soon after that night, Tatsuya and Ryo became inseparable and met up several times a week, often, they would meet up for something laid back, sometimes going for dinner and a movie or just staying in and talking over some take-out. On one such occasion, after a few weeks of dating when Tatsuya was sitting in Ryo’s lap as they watched the news, talking about nothing and everything, until Tatsuya realized what time it was. He motioned to leave, but as he stood up, Ryo reached out and grabbed his wrist. When Tatsuya looked back, Ryo’s head was bent down, but a flush of embarrassment covered his cheeks. “Do you want to stay the night?”
Tatsuya bent down and cupped Ryo’s face pulling him in for a kiss. Ryo stood up and gently started to move them into the bedroom. Their kisses picked up pace and soon they found themselves in a struggle to undress each other. The night was full of sweet lovemaking as they took their relationship to the next level and they fell asleep in each other’s arms, and when Ryo looked down to the body that lay in his arms he thanked God for the twist of fate that pulled the two together.
When Tatsuya woke up, he saw Ryo playing his guitar on the floor having put on a pair of sweatpants since he woke up earlier. When he saw Tatsuya’s gaze on him he smiled and reached over to smooth the hair out of his eyes. “How are you feeling?” he asked concernedly. “A little sore,” Tatsuya said honestly, but smiled nonetheless. “It was nice hearing you play.” He said and Ryo blushed at that.
“I don’t know if you’re busy on Wednesday, but I’m playing at a jazz bar, and it would mean a lot to me if you were there.” Ryo beamed and his heart leapt, “I’d be honored to be there.” Ryo leaned over and kissed Tatsuya. “I love you.” He said afterwards and Tatsuya smiled a smile that took Ryo’s breath away. “I love you too.”
Throughout the week leading up to Tatsuya’s performance, he was occupied with practice so they weren’t able to meet up, but Ryo sent Tatsuya encouraging messages full of emoticons, and every time Tatsuya’s phone would vibrate, a smile lit up his face.
When Ryo appeared, he looked around the jazz bar and saw a few faces that he recognized. There were a few music producers in the audience and some prominent jazz players, but many of the people were just jazz aficionados. Ryo, for a moment had forgotten who he was like many times when he was around Tatsuya, and hadn’t worn a disguise, but before the performance people started to approach him asking for an autograph or a picture together. Ryo obliged, although he wished they would leave him alone. The lights dimmed but they people kept coming and when it was Tatsuya’s turn, he was still swarmed by other girls. Tatsuya exhaled nervously on the stage, and he noticed that many of the audience member’s attention was diverted. He followed their gaze and saw Ryo there, who happily applauded him and tried to avoid the attention. He frowned, but when he made eye contact with Ryo, Ryo gave him encouraging signal and he unfolded his sheet music.
Tatsuya started plucking away at the keys, playing a melodic tune that mesmerized and enchanted Ryo as he watched his boyfriend play a lively tune and realized that it was the first time that he had heard him play. Unfortunately, Tatsuya’s piece ended far too soon for his liking. And when Tatsuya took a bow, he noticed that though people were applauding, they were doing it absent-mindedly and they were still looking at the most famous person there: Ryo.
In the backstage area, Tatsuya frowned, he remembered the Kanjani8 concert and how everyone had given Ryo their undivided attention. Why shouldn’t it be the same way in real life? Although he was grateful that his boyfriend was there, today had been his big night and nobody even paid attention to him. When Ryo went backstage after the performance he handed him a bouquet of flowers and praised his performance, and Tatsuya laughed to himself sarcastically, Ryo was probably the only person who paid any attention to his performance. But nevertheless he smiled and after saying goodbye to a few people they walked home. Ryo offered to have Tatsuya stay over at his place for the evening, but Tatsuya politely declined, and though Ryo wasn’t sure, he thought that something was a little off about Tatsuya today.
When they reached Tatsuya’s door Ryo kissed him goodnight, and Tatsuya thanked him for being there that night. Unfortunately, neither of them heard the camera shutter snap when they kissed.
The next day, Tatsuya heard a pounding on the door to his apartment, and groggily opened up to a barrage of photographers and news reporters taking his picture, and as soon as he realized what was happening he slammed the door in their faces. His phone started to ring and when he picked up his mother was crying on the phone saying that weird men were outside their homes asking them about Ryo Nishikido’s relationship with her son.
Tatsuya didn’t know what to do, but he panicked and called Ryo, jolting him from his slumber. “There are a ton of people outside my apartment and my mother’s house, I have no idea why they are there or what they want but they are asking about you and my relationship with you, and I can’t leave because there are so many of them.”
Ryo swore when he heard the news, “Someone must have followed us home last night, stay there, I’ll come and get you.” Ryo called his manager, who began yelling at him the minute he received his call. Apparently there was a news article run in the morning paper about him and Tatsuya and they had photographic evidence of their relationship.”
Ryo ran to Tatsuya’s apartment and when he saw the number of people there he realized what a grave situation they found themselves in. Ryo pushed his way through the paparazzi not caring that they were taking his picture or that his actions would spark even more rumors. He started banging on the door, and it was only when Tatsuya was completely sure that it was Ryo at the door that he opened it.
Locking the door behind him, Ryo noticed that Tatsuya was visibly shaken and Ryo wrapped his arms around him. “They are at my mother’s and sister’s places as well. They’re harassing them because we are together.”
“I’m so sorry.” Ryo said as tears began to stream down his face, “I’m so sorry that your and their privacy was invaded because of me. Because I fell in love with you, but I promise you that they will leave you alone soon.”
After finding out that Ryo was at Tatsuya’s home, his manager came to retrieve him, knowing that the worst thing right now was for the two of them to be seen together and Ryo begrudgingly left Tatsuya alone hoping that Ryo’s words would prove true. But after several days, Tatsuya was continually followed everywhere he went and it unnerved him. He had fallen in love with Ryo, but had not wanted to be a victim of paparazzi and in constant fear of messing up while being followed. As the days progressed, Tatsuya began to feel bitter towards Ryo and hateful of what being in a relationship meant and the sacrifices he would have to make as he thought back to his performance at the jazz bar.
So he finally picked up his courage and dialed Ryo’s number, “Is there someplace we can meet?” He asked, and Ryo gave him the address of a place that he was sure they would not be seen. When they finally met up, Tatsuya spotted Ryo heavily disguised and sat next to him. “We need to talk.”
“I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry, I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. I can’t stand having other people, strangers, watch my every move. I don’t want to constantly be concerned that my mother and sister are being bombarded by paparazzi’s questions. I don’t want, when it’s my turn in the spotlight, evreryone’s attention to be on you. I don’t want to hate you or our relationship because of what you job is, but I can’t live like this.” Tears had begun to trickle down Ryo’s face, and he didn’t even try to hide it.
“Is that how you feel? Like being with me is a burden?” And when Tatsuya didn’t respond, he knew what the answer to that question was. “But I love you.”
Tatsuya smiled one of the saddest smiles that ever existed at Ryo and his own tears began to cascade down his face, “I love you too, but that’s not enough. If you were anybody else we wouldn’t have this problem, but you are Nishikido Ryo of Kanjani8, and I’m just some pianist who likes his privacy.”
Before Ryo could say anything else Tatsuya stood up and left while he still had the conviction to do so and even when he was far away from Ryo, he could swear that he still heard the other man’s sobs.
Over the next several weeks, the number of paparazzi following him trailed off, and soon he became known as the guy who looks like the guy who used to date Nishikido Ryo. Ryo drowned his sorrows in alcohol, cursing Hina and Yoko for encouraging him to use that damn site, but even more so cursing himself. He knew that everything Tatsuya said was true. If he was just an office worker, they could have been together, but he was famous, he face was plastered all over Tokyo and everybody knew his name, and there was no way that Tatsuya could have privacy being with him.
About three months after they had broken up, neither was over the other, and seeing the depression that Ryo had fallen into, Hina found out Tatsuya’s address and went over there much to Tatsuya’s surprise. “I warned you about not knowing what you were getting into.” He said to Tatsuya though he didn’t mean it to sound as mean as it came out.
“I can’t sacrifice my freedom like that, I can’t be the only one in a relationship to make sacrifices.”
“Haven’t you noticed what Ryo has been sacrificing for you? He gave up a huge audition so that he could go to your performance, if you read the newspapers, he’s in there all the time after having made deals with the media to keep you out. One broke the deal and that’s why your privacy was invaded for a small amount of time. Ryo has had to deal with this for over half his life. So don’t you dare saw that you were the only one making sacrifices in this relationship.” Hina hissed, but change his tone to a gentler one as he continued, “I know that it’s hard for a lot of people to date celebrities, but Ryo loves you, more than I’ve ever seen him love anybody else. His other relationships had ended for similar reasons, and I really had hoped that yours wouldn’t end like that.”
“How is he?” Tatsuya asked unsure if he wanted to know the response.
Hina shook his head, “Not good.” He put a business card down on the table across from Tatsuya and got up to leave, “If you want to see him, he’s usually there every day around 9pm”. After he left, Tatsuya examined the business card, it was a bar. Was Ryo getting drunk all the time? Did Ryo miss him as much as he missed the other? After he had broken it off, he had begun to regret it, because like Hina said, Ryo truly loved him, and it was with Ryo that he had been the happiest he’d even been. When he thought to the sacrifices that Ryo had to make for his sake, he regretted the blame that he had put on Ryo, but when he had weighed the benefits and problems of their relationship, he realized that the benefits of being with Ryo far outweighed the consequences.
It took him three days to muster the courage to go to the address that Hina had given him, and even then he stood in the shadows until he found Ryo at the bar, drowning himself in shot after shot, and soon he begin to see Ryo talking drunkenly to the bartender, probably telling him his problems. And Tatsuya felt his heart clench at seeing Ryo in that state. He ran outside and bent over, “I’m so sorry, Ryo.”
He headed over to Ryo’s apartment and sat on the ground waiting for him to return. When Ryo did return he staggered along the length of the hallway and didn’t even realize that Tatsuya was there. He opened the door and Tatsuya slipped in. When Ryo saw him, he didn’t even realize that it was actually Tatsuya there. “Shit, I’m even hallucinating now. He was the love of my life,” Ryo muttered, “And I screwed it up.” Ryo sobbed in the privacy of his home and Tatsuya went over to him and hugged him from behind. “Shhh. I’m here.” But the words fell on deaf ears, as Ryo must have imagined those words again and again.
Tatsuya stayed the night, waiting for morning to come so they could talk, when Ryo got up, he had a pounding headache, but to his even greater surprise, Tatsuya was in his kitchen. It wasn’t a dream. Ryo thought and he immediately began to wonder what Tatsuya was doing there. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ryo.” Tatsuya immediately started apologizing. “If I could take back those cruel things I said I would. These past few months have been hell for me, and from the looks of it, for you too, and I still love you. I’m sorry for not noticing the sacrifices you’ve made for me, and your consideration for me and if I could change the fact that I broke up with you I would. I’m so sorry, but I still love you and I can’t live without you by my side.” Tatsuya looked up expectantly at Ryo and waited for a reply.
“Can I have some time to think about it?” Ryo asked honestly, and though Tatsuya turned his head to hide his reaction from Ryo, the disappointed look on his face did not go unnoticed.
“I understand.” Tatsuya replied and left Ryo thinking about what had just happened. When he rehashed what Tatsuya had said in his speech to Yoko and Hina, Yoko slapped the back of his head. “He made a mistake, but our world is overwhelming for a lot of people. The fact that after three months he still wants you back means that he has really considered the circumstances and he doesn’t care, he just wants to be with you.”
“I can’t go through it again, though.” Ryo said pitifully. “I love him so much.”
“Tell him that. Tell him that he has to be in it for the long-term or not at all. Tell him that you are terrified of losing him again like that.” Ryo nodded, and headed for Tatsuya’s music studio that he had only been to once before. When Ryo entered, he heard a sad melody echoing through the room that made Ryo want to cry. He peered around the door to see Tatsuya playing the piano. Slowly the notes trailed off and Ryo began to see tears stream down Tatsuya’s face and he buried his head in his hands and broke down on the piano bench.
Ryo entered the room and sadly looked at the huddled up figure on the piano bench. “I want to give us another try.” Ryo said, and Tatsuya looked up at him with hopeful eyes, “But now that you know what my life is like, you have to be in it for the long term. I won’t be able to handle it if you break up with me again.” When Tatsuya looked up into his eyes he saw determination and a glint of fear in them, and he quickly stood up and wrapped his arms around the other.
“Ryo, I need you. I love you so much, and this time I’m not going to let go.” Tears began to overflow from their eyes, but for the first time in a long time they were happy tears. Ryo leaned down to kiss Tatsuya and they stood in the middle of the piano studio for a while, enjoying the moment they shared together, and they knew that the only one for them was the other. “I love you.” Ryo said.
“I love you, too”. Tatsuya replied as he buried his head in the other man’s chest and felt the warmth of the other that he had missed for all those months having been separated.
AN: Please drop a comment and if there is anything you'd like to read please let me know in my request post.