Finally, a college update?
Mmk, so I ended up not doing two posts in one day.
^___^
Sorry for any falso hopes, lol. XD
Got caught up goofing off during my break so I didn't do the post I had planned.
So, I promised a post on what I thought of school since I've been avoiding it, right?
Eh...
I really dislike it. I mean, it has potential, but personally it sucks. The best way to put it is that it will be better when I can be more local and have a chance to be involved. And right now I'm taking classes that were just kind of left over because I signed up so late. But... I mean, my classes are basically things I've taken in highschool and middleschool or really pointless (like we watch movies on where babies come from... so stupid). There's very little to do other than book work and a little busy work. We're about to have our first round of tests, so that should be interesting. It's becoming some rather bothersome cramming because some of our teachers haven't bothered to teach us anything and all of the sudden we're required to know all this crap... So annoying.
Not to just whine or anything.
It just feels like... I'm still waiting for college to start. Like it's a transition period still, if that makes any since. Because I might as well have stayed in high school. HS was more fun, more challenging, less of a waste of time. This just... doesn't seem to be worth much. Other than that I'm working towards being able to live on campus and be involved and have a life. I can't wait for that... To move out and not be told when to go to bed and not have to leave so freaking early to get to an 8am class....
I mostly miss having friends, I think. Even with it all sucking, if I was surrounded by all the people I've come to love, it would be fine. But... I know maybe a dozen people. And in my math class I'm making friends, but only because there's only thirty of us. All my other classes are 100+ people. So... I'm very alone. I sometimes meet up with two people during break and we talk and joke around while we recharge our laptops. And talk about porn... ?_? A lot... lawl. We're weird like that. Thankfully, it's kind of like being in highschool, but it lacks the substance I had with you guys. And... I can't talk to anyone about life anymore. I don't know the last time I could really sit down and talk to a girl about girl things... it's just kind of bottling up. It's really selfish of me, I know... But now all I have is shallow friends. We have to walk too far to get to class, there are too many stairs, does anyone actually eat anything other than dinner anymore, did you do the homework, was there homework, etc. It feels very fake and short term. And we all know it. I mean, past December, none of us really expect to keep in contact. And that's kind of harsh. I want real friends! I want people that I can hug, and talk to, and play with. I want people who will go to the arcade and make fools of themselves with me.
When did they say it was going to be so lonely? Up until about my sophomore year, I was not a very popular person... I was very lonely. You guys know me, I was very... pathetic is the best word. But I got popular. And I'm used to that. I'm used to being liked and surrounded by people who at least know my name. Now... My new friends don't even remember my name half the time, I'm an underclassman.
TT__TT
It's sad. I know I'm here for the education, but... that's not so great either... I don't feel like I'm learning much, I'm just tired and hungry.
Ugh.
I'm not saying this very well.
I just feel very lost.
I don't fit anywhere, and no, it's not really easy to just make friends. I could kill him for telling me that like I'm stupid. He's stupid. Rawr.
So more and more I'm retreating into my world of me and Nic.
And... that's kind of it.
Outside of school and work and church, that's about it... Unless someone approaches me or I see a post, I don't really talk to anyone.
Information- chat program of choice these days is gmail chat. So if anyone has gmail or wants it, I'll send an invite and we can chat on it.
Or if anyone still uses msn im, let me know. It's just no one is ever on it when I do stop to check. Well, Nicky was once, but it said she was busy and I didn't want to interrupt, because the last time I did she immediately went offline. And I went, "oops?"
Anyway, that's all.
Sorry for the rambling, incoherent update.
It's quite how I feel lately.
^___^
Sorry for any falso hopes, lol. XD
Got caught up goofing off during my break so I didn't do the post I had planned.
So, I promised a post on what I thought of school since I've been avoiding it, right?
Eh...
I really dislike it. I mean, it has potential, but personally it sucks. The best way to put it is that it will be better when I can be more local and have a chance to be involved. And right now I'm taking classes that were just kind of left over because I signed up so late. But... I mean, my classes are basically things I've taken in highschool and middleschool or really pointless (like we watch movies on where babies come from... so stupid). There's very little to do other than book work and a little busy work. We're about to have our first round of tests, so that should be interesting. It's becoming some rather bothersome cramming because some of our teachers haven't bothered to teach us anything and all of the sudden we're required to know all this crap... So annoying.
Not to just whine or anything.
It just feels like... I'm still waiting for college to start. Like it's a transition period still, if that makes any since. Because I might as well have stayed in high school. HS was more fun, more challenging, less of a waste of time. This just... doesn't seem to be worth much. Other than that I'm working towards being able to live on campus and be involved and have a life. I can't wait for that... To move out and not be told when to go to bed and not have to leave so freaking early to get to an 8am class....
I mostly miss having friends, I think. Even with it all sucking, if I was surrounded by all the people I've come to love, it would be fine. But... I know maybe a dozen people. And in my math class I'm making friends, but only because there's only thirty of us. All my other classes are 100+ people. So... I'm very alone. I sometimes meet up with two people during break and we talk and joke around while we recharge our laptops. And talk about porn... ?_? A lot... lawl. We're weird like that. Thankfully, it's kind of like being in highschool, but it lacks the substance I had with you guys. And... I can't talk to anyone about life anymore. I don't know the last time I could really sit down and talk to a girl about girl things... it's just kind of bottling up. It's really selfish of me, I know... But now all I have is shallow friends. We have to walk too far to get to class, there are too many stairs, does anyone actually eat anything other than dinner anymore, did you do the homework, was there homework, etc. It feels very fake and short term. And we all know it. I mean, past December, none of us really expect to keep in contact. And that's kind of harsh. I want real friends! I want people that I can hug, and talk to, and play with. I want people who will go to the arcade and make fools of themselves with me.
When did they say it was going to be so lonely? Up until about my sophomore year, I was not a very popular person... I was very lonely. You guys know me, I was very... pathetic is the best word. But I got popular. And I'm used to that. I'm used to being liked and surrounded by people who at least know my name. Now... My new friends don't even remember my name half the time, I'm an underclassman.
TT__TT
It's sad. I know I'm here for the education, but... that's not so great either... I don't feel like I'm learning much, I'm just tired and hungry.
Ugh.
I'm not saying this very well.
I just feel very lost.
I don't fit anywhere, and no, it's not really easy to just make friends. I could kill him for telling me that like I'm stupid. He's stupid. Rawr.
So more and more I'm retreating into my world of me and Nic.
And... that's kind of it.
Outside of school and work and church, that's about it... Unless someone approaches me or I see a post, I don't really talk to anyone.
Information- chat program of choice these days is gmail chat. So if anyone has gmail or wants it, I'll send an invite and we can chat on it.
Or if anyone still uses msn im, let me know. It's just no one is ever on it when I do stop to check. Well, Nicky was once, but it said she was busy and I didn't want to interrupt, because the last time I did she immediately went offline. And I went, "oops?"
Anyway, that's all.
Sorry for the rambling, incoherent update.
It's quite how I feel lately.