keira knightley's mouth pisses me off
i was in some hotel and the high school musical cast is there. Zac Efron and i start flirting but he turns out to be a complete little douche. he kept telling me i was hot but he did it in such a little degrading way and then he put his finger on the divot of my top lip and i yelled at him to stop that shit or i'd break his gd finger and he bet me i couldn't do it. so i got a hold of his thumb and decided that little puke wasn't worth going to jail. and he walked away laughing and i said "i had you but you would have cried and i would have gone to jail." and he and his pukey little friends laughed and he said "just remember that you almost had Zac Efron and he let you go." and i said "yeah I let HIM go. think about that." and then i walked away. lame.
then there's this weird part about being in a very small pool with this awesome old black guy that new how to throw bones (only they were plastic and spelled out words) and a bunch of other people that were playing some game and i ended up representing one of the other guys and hosting the game. everyone had to throw all their stuff in. some of it was leaves, others had alcohol, others had paper. i can't remember how i got out of that.
then i was trying to get away from Zac and his douche squad and started pushing this truck and attached tow machines(there were like three of them attached) across this hot black top but i ran into a spot where it wasn't quite cool enough and awesome old black guy's wife, who was this big old biker-chick-like woman, told me to just push it under this trailer and she's just yelling about how she used to do it in her day, just PUSHing it under. so i do that.
then back in the hotel. Zac has bet money to these little kids about something but it's a scam. there's a lot of running down stairs and running around in this part but somehow he finds out that it was a scam and he's furious so he and the douche squad start chasing the boys down these tight stair cases and into basements and stuff. then it changes to where the douche squad want the women. apparently now i am female in this dream. so we run some more to the awesome old black guy's wife's apartment and she offers to hide us. she tells us to come upstairs and hide in her bed and that "NO MAN IS ALLOWED IN MY BED" and i'm thinking "what about awesome old black guy?" but whatever. Efron and the douche squad find us and he starts telling this story about me, about how at first look i was a hot librarian chick and he holds up this mask that doesn't look anything like me but has cool long hair. i'm hiding under the covers with AOBG's wife and some other chick and AOBG's wife tries to cover up my head (it looked longer than it is and waaaaay thinner). then Zac says something about how i'm really just and old witch and holds up this ugly witch mask that reminds me of Donna Summer and Grammie. it was Not Nice. then the douche squad and Zac do this dance number about how they own the world and all this bullshit. and i get up and start screaming about how they have no friends and people around the world don't want them to come around because they act like that. Nick Cannon gets up in my face and i tell him over and over about what a little shit he is and if he'd act like a normal person, people would like him.
then i'm a dude again and i start walking around talking this schpeel and i end up in this men's shower room that's filled with hot ass blonde skater dudes. i'm giving my speech and i interrupt myself to say "HELLLLLLO NURSE" to this motherfucking hot ass skater dude in one of the showers. i mean he was so hot i forgot what i was saying and even said so in the dream. so stop talking about that and one of the other people with me starts it up again so i can go look for that hot ass skater dude. but all i can find are littler versions of him.
then someone poses the idea that we need to get a bunch of people who used to act like that to talk to Zac and the douche squad and we end up in this classroom full of old rock stars. i remember David Lee Roth looking so excited when we came in. we each pick a rock star to represent us and it is awesome but they think because i'm black that i don't know who they are. so i end up with Bruce Dickinson and he's introducing himself and being very gentlemanly and i say something about how i know who he is and how Aaron is going to shit a brick when he finds out i met him. and then he hands me this plush chair that sings "Alexander the Great" and i say that he'll have to sign that for me. Bruce starts to walk to where we're all meeting up and i look over at this old dude and it's supposed to be Ozzy but it didn't look like Ozzy and he's staying there, rocking out to this old mechanical light-up crow. and i'm like "Ozzy is fucking old, dude" and start to walk out. then i woke up.
i think Zac Efron is my dream rep for Caleb. like Keanu Reeves is my dream rep for Aaron (they're both pretty and pretend to be dumb). i've been dreaming about that kid a lot. i don't give a fuck about Zac Efron, fer real. there's no reason to dream about him but he does remind me of Caleb. i also dream a lot about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. this makes absolutely no sense to me. i got nothing on that one. and Lindsey Lohan. wtf why? three dreams with her in it. and two with Angie Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. i can't stand Aniston. i can't freaking stand her and she was the protagonist in both my dreams with her. this is not interesting. this is the opposite of interesting, which is boring.
in other news, Puppy, i cried when i saw the emo pic of Deadpool. i cried. pulled out some hair too. i think you're right about the level of suckage.
it's cold and snowy and windy here.
i'm falling asleep. when i'm done writing this i'm going to go to sleep in my clothes, i already know. this is laziness, ladies and gentlemen. look it in its horrid face. look at it. look at it. look at it.
multi speech is tomorrow. buh. i don't wanna. i say this every time and still give the damn speech.
i've been eating ice cream for the last three days and now i'm bloated to zeppelin size. if you see a big brownish thing flailing about in the sky, no worries, it's just me. full of calories and lactose.
got a hair cut today and for the first time in a long time, i like it.
i will be filing my taxes tomorrow and hopefully will get a refund of nothing less than Hella Bank.
i love how i have tags for every random ass thing i write.
jesus fuck my waking life is boring. there are things that i could write about but they must have fallen through some crack in my brains and nested in the undergrowth there because i can't remember what they are right now.
Song of the Day: Pearl Jam, "Oceans"
lyrics