Hell is freezing over...
Yes readers (if I have any left that is) I am making a post in my starving livejournal. Even further from the "norm" this is not a philosophical post or rant. Nor will it be a poem, essay, or anything else that could be mistaken as school related. In fact, as my good friend Jay says, it's more of a "what I had for breakfast" post. I have found that
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Maybe you should of disabled the comments on your journal or something because this one is going to be a lengthy one.
Apparently...
Those who know you know that the pathetic 'girlfriend' in your post is me.
Whoa whoa whoa WHOA! Those who know me have no idea (until now seeing as how you made this into quite the shitstorm) who you are. I have LOTS of friends with lots of girlfriends - you're no exception. And if you would be so kind as to not immediately put words in my mouth, I never said anything about you being "pathetic".
Frankly, when this post was brought to my attention I felt very offended and amazed at the same time at how someone so smart and with such a good outlook on things could be so hurtfull, insensitive, narrow minded and immature to post something of this nature about me when I cannot even jump to my own defense.
To be frank myself, this is my livejournal, not yours. What I post in it is what I'm feeling.
For the first few times we saw eachother you made false accusations and prejudged me. You rediculed me behind my back. Yet I was unable to jump to my own defense because of Rex. When I had barely even known you and you had made comments about me being 'sex obsessed' and telling rex I would leave him because of it. I even recall a few days after we had met for the first time when I had received a worried phone call from Rex telling me that I had apparently grabbed your ass when you hugged me. Little did you know that I was trying to regain my balance because you had took me so quickly into a hug and you are obviously taller than me. You had NO excuse for all of this.
Seeing as how all of this was discussed, and worked out between you and I, there is no relevance to it being brought up again. The mere fact that you have once again (for the third time) thrown this back in my face is an illustration in your attempt of revenge - for what, I'm still not sure. And just so I don't look like a complete ass, how was I supposed to KNOW that you were off balance? All I know was that your hand found it's way to my ass, nothing more.
I also think that you are a very jealous individual and that this jealously of yours has clouded your thinking and has completely changed how you view others and how you go about trying to understand others. I don't think you should judge me (or anyone at all for that matter) based on your opinnions and your feelings. And I extremely hate to quote the bible but 'judge not lest ye be judged'. So now I believe I can think whatever I want of you because of what you have put me through and to back up how I judge you on being narrow minded.
You'll have to excuse if I am rather curt in responding to this particular passage, but where the fuck do you get off calling me jealous? I could understand if you had called me that, and then exactly told me WHY I was jealous of anything. If the comment is meant to say that I am jealous of you, well Care, with all due respect, I have nothing to be jealous of in relation to your life. I am a very VERY happy person, with great friends, better family and a good head on my shoulders. Perhaps the fact that my life is so together, while yours is not is what the issue really is. Before you start criticizing my life, I suggest you get yours in a working fucking order first. I also think that maybe you don't really understand what the word judge means. Judge: To form an opinion or estimation of after careful consideration. What you are saying however is that I came to this "judgment" after the first time I met you - hardly enough time for careful consideration. What I did was had an opinion of you, but wasn't sure if it was correct because I had yet to really examine it further. You quote the bible to me? Take a good long look at what you quoted...talk about the pot and fucking kettle.
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And that's all it was, and still is. Because I made one post in my journal about how my day had gone did not change my intentions. I have no idea why you would think that.
I later discover it is in your journal for just about anyone (and everyone) to read and draw their own conclusions about me. But then when I realized that you have betrayed my confidence not only the first time but yet again, and have no reasonable explanation for posting this other than to hurt me and offend me and to change the opinnions of those who know me, care about me and respect me I really don't know if I can trust you or even come close to forgiving you (yet again). You have no logical explanation to hate me the way you do.
Nobody knew whom the fuck you were! Why are you so god damned paranoid about what others think of you? Is there some inferiority complex caused by your MASSIVE insecurity? The only, ONLY thing in that paragraph that could even be considered as harsh was that I called you indecisive. Where all these other magical thoughts that you conjured up came from, I haven't the first clue. And please spare me the ruse of saying you actually had forgiven me earlier. Your previous comments speak volumes that you had not, and so had your attitude and subtle drops of the subject matter before when we had private discussions. You are the type that forgives conditionally, and I don't have the inclination to deal with it. And DON'T conclude that I hate you because I wrote a small paragraph about how you give my friend shit...that is nothing more than dismissive and ignorant. Not to mention it makes your entire argument contradictory seeing as how you are the one speaking with the narrow-minded mentality.
How can you call yourself a councillor when you completely betray my trust? Please don't argue this with me. I specificially remember asking you nicely to keep this to yourself and you agreed.
How can I call myself a counselor? Easy, SIX YEARS, 59 patients, ZERO suicide rate. I have never asked for money, recognition, or appreciation for what I do - I do it because I don't believe anyone should go untreated. And let me remind you my dear that I am not YOUR counselor, I am Rex's. That means when I see a potential situation that is going to cause him hurt, as his counselor, but more as his FRIEND, I let him know. HE takes precedence, not YOU. If you can honestly say that you didn't know I was going to tell him that, but rather sit on it, than you are either two things. Ignorant, or oblivious.
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Have more faith in people than that Care, especially your boyfriend. He is a freethinker, and whatever decision he makes, he will have made on his own. If you're attempting to shift blame to me because your relationship is not as strong as it was, spare me. It is no one's fault but your own.
To sum this all up, please, do not shout your mouth off about me and don't make comments about me until you fully get to know me. I really didn't appreciate your statements. I found they were very immature and relying solely on your emotions and jealously rather than considering my feelings and issues surrounding the subject.
I'll say whatever I damn well please. Don't think for a moment that on Monday when I left the room I didn't hear you scream about how much you hated the type of person I was - the type of person who stood by their friends. Maybe your past experiences have jaded you to the point of being a cynic when it comes to friendships, but never, EVER, attack mine.
You don't have the right to write about me thinking you know me better than I know myself.
I never said I did, simply that I can think whatever the hell I want. Why? Because it's my fucking brain. The next time you decide to go on some pilgrimage against me I suggest you have one of these:
A clue
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