Penguins of indiscriminate sexuality.
I sometimes wonder if I may be bipolar.
After feeling so accomplished yesterday, something snapped in me today and once again I feel minorly like giving up and sobbing gently into my crotch.
I'm fed up of being up one moment and down the next. I want stability. I'm a fucking capricorn for fuck sake!!
I guess this is all brought about by the fact I get to have a nurse with a haircut too short to be heterosexual stick a dry cotton bud in places you usually need to buy me a few drinks and a meal to get access too. Even my piercer uses more lubricant than these neanderthals!! I know I am fine but theres that tiny sneaking suspicion that I might as we speak be harbouring some incredibly nasty social viruses and may have infected my boyfriend with HIV. This, of course is at the total worst case scenario. Slim to none chance of happening. Why? Here's why:
I use condoms. At least since I was last tested, any man who has came near me has been sheathed. There has been no sperm let loose in anything other than one of those lovely penis shaped food bags.
So why am I even worried? There has still been penis contact. Oral sans Rubbers (no finishing in mouth though) Basically there is 0.000001% chance that I've got anything but that is enough to make me worry about having something and giving it to Nick. I love him. I couldn't stand to see him hurt through my own stupidity.
Not that I have really been all that stupid come to think of it. And life goes on.
So last week I made a list of things I am unhappy with. I know they are small things, but they are small things that have been hanging round for years and I'm finally starting to crack. Im in the process of trying to fix things. The list so far:
Fix curtains - done (DIY sucks dick)
Paint livingroom - in the process
Get Check up - Tomorrow
See Dr about my ear - Im off monday, ill try and phone them then.
Get more money - doing over time tomorrow, selling some DVDS and other various shit
Get Rid of junk - see "other various shit"
Get more free time - holidays in a few days, hopefully becoming a recluse for those few days will cure that.
Get a new job - toying with the idea but waiting till I'm a tad more financially stable. thinking of changing the shifts at work and going part time
See Nick more - hopefully the more money and more free time will help with that
Get a new car - July. JULY. Assuming my budget goes to plan and I can find a decent car at a good price and a good loan.
After feeling so accomplished yesterday, something snapped in me today and once again I feel minorly like giving up and sobbing gently into my crotch.
I'm fed up of being up one moment and down the next. I want stability. I'm a fucking capricorn for fuck sake!!
I guess this is all brought about by the fact I get to have a nurse with a haircut too short to be heterosexual stick a dry cotton bud in places you usually need to buy me a few drinks and a meal to get access too. Even my piercer uses more lubricant than these neanderthals!! I know I am fine but theres that tiny sneaking suspicion that I might as we speak be harbouring some incredibly nasty social viruses and may have infected my boyfriend with HIV. This, of course is at the total worst case scenario. Slim to none chance of happening. Why? Here's why:
I use condoms. At least since I was last tested, any man who has came near me has been sheathed. There has been no sperm let loose in anything other than one of those lovely penis shaped food bags.
So why am I even worried? There has still been penis contact. Oral sans Rubbers (no finishing in mouth though) Basically there is 0.000001% chance that I've got anything but that is enough to make me worry about having something and giving it to Nick. I love him. I couldn't stand to see him hurt through my own stupidity.
Not that I have really been all that stupid come to think of it. And life goes on.
So last week I made a list of things I am unhappy with. I know they are small things, but they are small things that have been hanging round for years and I'm finally starting to crack. Im in the process of trying to fix things. The list so far:
Fix curtains - done (DIY sucks dick)
Paint livingroom - in the process
Get Check up - Tomorrow
See Dr about my ear - Im off monday, ill try and phone them then.
Get more money - doing over time tomorrow, selling some DVDS and other various shit
Get Rid of junk - see "other various shit"
Get more free time - holidays in a few days, hopefully becoming a recluse for those few days will cure that.
Get a new job - toying with the idea but waiting till I'm a tad more financially stable. thinking of changing the shifts at work and going part time
See Nick more - hopefully the more money and more free time will help with that
Get a new car - July. JULY. Assuming my budget goes to plan and I can find a decent car at a good price and a good loan.