[Oneshot] Ore wa Shiawase ni Naru…
Title (English): I Will Be Happy
Author: Nara
Pairing: YutoYama, YutoChii
Genre: Romance, High School, University, Angst.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Yuto and Ryosuke have been in love since they were in high school and they promised to go into a same university. Ryosuke’s love toward Yuto is strong and unbreakable makes Yuto the happiest guy in entire world. However, life is not like a fairy tale. Ryosuke changed. He wants to break up, leaving Yuto a thousand questions he can’t seem to find the answers. Being left in the darkness and brokenhearted, someone came to bring light in Yuto’s life, Chinen Yuri. As bright and cheerful as he is, Chinen has a hidden secret, a secret that he shared with Ryosuke…
Yuto is looking up at the blue sky while smiling. He closes his eyes and breathes in the spring breeze deeply. Then he lowers his head, gazing at the beautiful sleeping face on his lap. His lips parted a little bit, exhaling soft breathes. Yuto brushes aside the brown bangs so he could see those long eyelashes clearly. Now matter how long he stares at this face, he never once get tired of it. Instead, his smile on his lips is getting wider. He is Yamada Ryosuke, his classmate, his best friend and…his lover. Everyday at school, they will spend their time together at the rooftop. Up here, the world seems to revolve only around them. Slowly, Ryosuke opens up his eyes and welcomed by Yuto’s gentle smile above him.
“Baka…” Ryosuke pouts.
“E-eh?” Yuto tilts his head, confuse what he did wrong that makes him sulking.
“You know I’m not actually sleeping deshou? How come you never try to kiss me?” Ryosuke furrowed his eyebrows and his pouty lips are getting longer.
“Pft! Is that why you’re sulking?” Yuto is giggling hard.
“Warau na yo~” he whines. Ryosuke gets up from Yuto’s lap and face his back toward Yuto.
“Ryo, gomen ne~ I was too fascinated with your beauty and I forgot about anything else.”
“You even forget to kiss me?”
“……” Yuto remain silent.
“Mou ii” Ryosuke is trying to get up but Yuto pulls his arm and steal Ryosuke’s lips as his own. Yuto tilts his head to deepen the kiss and he slips his tongue inside Ryosuke’s wet cavern. Their tongues entwining hungrily, battling for dominance and Ryosuke gladly surrendered. He knows he can’t win against Yuto’s kiss.
“Mmh…w-wait…I can’t…b-breathe” Ryosuke pushes Yuto’s chest, trying to break the kiss but Yuto grabs his head and lock their lips even tighter. Saliva streaming down from the corner of Ryosuke’s lips as Yuto sliding his tongue and teasing Ryosuke’s before he captured those swollen lips again.
“Haa…” Ryosuke gasping for air desperately after Yuto finally broke the kiss.
“You know why I didn’t kiss you before?” Yuto palming Ryosuke’s reddened cheek.
“Because once I start kissing you, I don’t know how to stop” Yuto smirks while loosening Ryosuke’s tie and the latter is blushing all to his ears. Ryosuke knows exactly what will happen next after Yuto dropped his tie on the floor.
………
Yuto and Ryosuke are having their last year of high school to their fullest. They wish to create wonderful memories as much as they could in here, Ogurabashi High the place where their love started to blossom.
More than two years ago, they were just a complete stranger. They seated beside each other when they took the entrance exams but they never exchanging glances. Both were so serious about the exams because in their mind only have one determination; to get accepted into top high school, Ogurabashi High. Both of them were honor students from their previous middle schools and they were confident that they will get the top grade.
On the day the exams result was out, Ryosuke excitedly finding his name from the top of the list but his mouth was hanging opened to saw someone else’s name at the first rank. It was Nakajima Yuto. His name was second and what made him so frustrated is the different between their grades was only two points. He cursed that guy million times for stealing his throne.
“Tch! Who the hell is this Nakajima guy?” Ryosuke thought, giving death stare to that name on top of the list while standing beside him, a tall guy was grinning widely as the result came out exactly as he expected. Yuto stared at his name proudly. With this, he will be the freshman representative on the entrance ceremony. All cute girls will fall head over heels for him when he gives his speech on the stage. Having such thought in his mind, Yuto’s grin became even wider. Yuto read the name below his and he smirked. “Kawaisou ne, ano Yamada~ gomen, the one who’ll become popular is me, fufufu~” Yuto was trying to hold his chuckles.
Yuto and Ryosuke were standing there in front of the big board, one of them was mad and the other was grinning, not realizing the one who made them like that was just standing right next to them.
………
The day of entrance ceremony came. Ryosuke was crossing his arms and wearing an annoyed look on his face as teacher called Nakajima Yuto’s name to give freshman representative speech. “Hmph! He must be an ugly nerd!” Ryosuke scoffed and averted his eyes away from the stage. Then Yuto appeared behind the red curtains and the moment he started walking toward the stage, the hall filled with mutters.
“Aah~ kakkoii~”
Ryosuke’s eyebrow flinched. “Kakkoii?”
“Oujisama ga mitai~”
“Ryosuke frowned. “O-oujisama?”
“Suteki~”
He frowned even harder. “Suteki??!” Ryosuke averted back his eyes at the stages and his sight immediately landed on Yuto who already standing behind the speech podium.
“Hajimemashite. Nakajima Yuto desu~” he introduced while plastering the sweetest smile that peoples in this earth ever saw.
Kyun~♥
A love arrow stabbed Ryosuke’s heart instantly and he stiffed into stone.
“Ka…kakkoii~” Ryosuke cupped his own cheeks and his eyes were sparkling. On that time, Ryosuke has the same look as the other girls who were also mesmerized by Yuto’s coolness. His anger toward Yuto for stolen his first rank disappear just like that.
And that was how Ryosuke fell in love with Yuto, as simple as love at first sight. But who will guess, how Yuto fell for Ryosuke is even simpler?
………
After the entrance ceremony ended, Ryosuke walked to the classroom. His feet stopped as he saw crowd of peoples gathered outside his classroom.
“Nanja kore?” he wondered. He tried to sneak through the crowd and enter his classroom. Once inside, his eyes widened and his jaw dropped when he saw Yuto in the middle of crowd of girls.
“Woah~ it’s Nakajima Yuto~” Ryosuke grinned and his eyes shine in happiness. He stepped closer to the taller but those girls blocking his way. “Tch!” he clicked his tongue feeling so irritated.
“Kyaah!” the girls squealed as Ryosuke spread his both arms, pushing away the girls to his both sides and made way for himself.
“Doke!” he said brutally while sending evil stare to those girls.
“Hiii!” the girls got scared and stepping backward, giving more space to Ryosuke and Yuto.
“Nakajima Yuto!” Ryosuke called once he stood in front of him.
“H-hai!” Yuto answered in reflex because of surprise. “D-d-dare? Kono hito wa? Yankee?” he gulped.
“Ore to tsukiatte kudasai~“ Ryosuke’s face changed all cute and sweet in sudden.
“Eeeehhh???” the whole class screamed at the same time.
Yuto stunned. “Na-na-nani kore?? He confessed in front of all people! Moreover, he’s a guy! This is bad. Everybody must think this is weird. My popularity...Oi! The school just started today! Iyaa daa! Give me back my youth!!”
“Ne~ henji wa?”
“Woah!” Yuto startled and snapped back to reality as Ryosuke face suddenly became too close to him.
“D-dame ka?” Ryosuke’s facial expression turned sad. His eyes look like teary puppy eyes.
Little by little Yuto’s cheeks flushed in red. “K-kawaii…”
“Am I not enough? Even though I love you this much?” tears started to flow from Ryosuke’s eyes.
Kyun~♥
“Do you really love me?” Yuto asked.
“Un. I love you the moment I laid my eyes on you and…you’re my first love” Ryosuke answered while rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. His shoulders were still shaking from the sobbing.
Kyun~♥ Kyun~♥
Yuto can’t handle Ryosuke’s cuteness and his bluntness. Unconsciously, his hand reaching for Ryosuke’s cheek and wiped his tears gently.
“Yes…” Yuto said in lowered voice.
“Eh?” Ryosuke tilted his head.
“My answer is yes~” Yuto smiled and Ryosuke who got what his means, started to curved a smile too, a wide one.
“Honto ni?” Ryosuke asked excitedly.
“Honto ni” Yuto answered.
“Honto, honto ni?”
“Honto, honto ni.”
“Honto, honto, honto ni?”
“Honto, honto, honto ni.”
“Wai~ hureshii~” Ryosuke wrapped his hand around Yuto’s neck and sit on his lap.
“Ah. You didn’t tell me you name” Yuto suddenly remembered that didn’t even know his now-boyfriend’s name.
“Ryosuke, Yamada Ryosuke~” Ryosuke tightened his hug and Yuto wrapped his arms across Ryosuke’s waist with the same pressure, totally ignored peoples around them were looking with mouth hanging opened.
“A-re? Yamada Ryosuke? Why it sound so familiar? Ah! The ranking” Yuto suddenly remembered. “I guess…this is what they called fate. Maika. With this cute guy by my side, I don’t need to be popular.”
Ryosuke loosened up the hug and looked into Yuto eyes.
“I love you” he said with blushing cheeks.
“Etou…I love you too?” Yuto’s cheeks also reddening. Hearing that, Ryosuke the type of person who never thinks before he act, immediately gave Yuto a smooch.
Moe~
Everyone in the class stared at those to lovebirds with sparkling eyes. Instead of feeling disgust, their cuteness made their hearts melt.
After that, the whole school became aware of their relationship and they gave them their full supports. Because of that, Yuto and Ryosuke never felt worried to show their affections toward each other in public. Sometimes, they got into a fight or more like love quarrel and didn’t spoke to each other for few days. But their classmates can’t stand to see them like that so every time they will come out with a plan to get them back together again. Thanks to their classmates, their relationship getting stronger and unbreakable. Even the teachers can’t do anything to those couples since they both are the top students. As long as their studies go well, there’s nothing to worry about those two.
Yuto and Ryosuke’s love story is an epic.
******
“Yuto, which university you will choose?” asked Ryosuke when they are studying in the library. Their final exam is just around the corner.
“Todai” Yuto replied while his hand is busying writing down a note.
“Sou? I’ll choose the same then.”
“Atari mai ja nai? We’re going together. I’m not planning to separate from you.”
“Teehee~” Ryosuke is cupping his blushing cheeks. Yuto stopped from writing and looks at his lover while smiling. They have been together almost 3 years now and he wants their relationship will continue even after they graduated from high school. He knows Ryosuke will pick the same university as his and Todai is not a problem for both of them. With their brains, they could pass the entrance exam for sure and Yuto feels grateful of that. From now on, he wants Ryosuke to be by his side, zutto.
“Y-Yuto? Why are you staring at me like that?” Ryosuke realized that Yuto has been staring at him for a while now.
“Ii e. Just thinking how cute you are~” Yuto smiles.
“W-what are you saying baka! It’s embarrassing!” Ryosuke hides his blushing face using the book. But then he peeks at Yuto a little.
“Y-you really think I’m cute?” he shyly asked. It’s not like he never heard Yuto praises him like he’s cute or beautiful it’s just to be told something like that from the person that he loves really makes him happy.
“Un. Sekai ni ichiban ga kawaii~”
Since Ryosuke still covering his face with the book, Yuto can’t see that his boyfriend’s face is blushing hard right now but Yuto already knows it.
******
It is spring and sakura trees are blossoming proudly. Yuto and Ryosuke now is a first year student of University of Tokyo. Both of them are taking engineering course. They have kept their promise to get into this university together. Every morning, Yuto will pick Ryosuke up by his car and drove to Todai. Since they are taking the same course, they got to be in the same lecture. Because both of them are intelligent, they really stand out among the others. It didn’t take a long time before the girls have their heartbroken after knowing that Yuto and Ryosuke are lovers. But those girls could accept it because they realized that Yuto that they love is Yuto who’s in love with Ryosuke. Same goes for girls who love Ryosuke. They attracted to him for who he is when Yuto at his side.
When they have no lecture, they will go on date and spend the time together. In Todai, they have their favorite spot to hang out and study. There is a park near the Agricultural Faculty where the park is beautiful with a small lake in the middle. They always promised to meet there whenever they have free times. They just laying beside each other on the grassy ground and staring at the blue sky while holding hands or sleeping in each other embrace under the sakura tree. Everyday seems to be perfect for Yuto with Ryosuke in his life.
Or…is it not?
Yuto and Ryosuke are on their way to afternoon’s lecture. Behind them, a short guy with a girl looking face is running in hurry while carrying a pile of books. One of his books is almost fall and he tries to catch it but because of his eyes are not at his front, he bumped into Yuto’s shoulder makes the short guy fall together with all his books.
“Gomenasai!” he bows as he apologized then he quickly picking up his books. Yuto kneels down and helps the guy.
“Daijoubu?” Yuto asked while handling over the book to him.
“Hai, arigatou gozaimasu” the dark brown haired guy holds the book which still in Yuto’s hand and raises his head to look at Yuto. The time seems to freeze as the shorter keep staring at Yuto without blinking while they both still holding the book.
“Doushita no?” Yuto asked as he feels weird the latter is staring at him like that.
“Ah! Na-nandemonai” the short guy quickly takes the book completely from Yuto’s hand.
“Yuri?” Ryosuke called suddenly and the latter avert his gaze at him, looking confuse for a while before his eyes widened.
“Ryosuke? It’s that really you?”
“Uwah~ hisashiburi~” Ryosuke hugs Chinen and the books once again scattered on the ground.
“Eh? You guys know each other?” asked Yuto.
“Un! He’s my childhood friend. We’ve been best friend since kindergarten until the middle school” replied Ryosuke while still hugging Chinen in his arms.
“Ah, sou ka.”
“Yuto, this is Chinen Yuri. Yuri, this is Nakajima Yuto, my boyfriend” Ryosuke introduced. For a while, Chinen stunned hearing the last word but he quickly shrugs it off.
“Hajimemashite, Nakajima-kun” Chinen bows a little.
“Hajimemashite~” Yuto smiles. Chinen clenches his shirt as he feels tight in his chest.
“Yuri, are you late for something?”
“Ah! My lecture!”
“Mou~ you’re still clumsy as usual”
“Hehe~”
“Ryo, if we still standing here we also gonna be late for our lecture, you know.”
“Yabe! Yuri, gomen. Matta ne” Ryosuke grabs Yuto’s hand and walking away in hurry. But Chinen still standing there despite he’s already late for his lecture.
“I thought I’ll never fall in love with someone anymore. But why among all peoples, I fell for my old best friend’s lover?” said Chinen, talking to himself.
Another story about how a person could simply fell in love with someone. But the different is Yuto didn’t simply love Chinen back because he already did it for Ryosuke and people can’t fell in love at first sight twice.
******
Knowing that his best friend is also a student of Todai, Ryosuke always called Chinen and asked him to join Yuto and him whenever they hang out together. Yuto doesn’t mind having Chinen around because it’s fun being friend with him. As time goes by, the three of them became close. The park that always been the place for those two has added one more presence. Though it’s hurt to witness how Yuto is so in love with Ryosuke every single day, Chinen try to be strong. He got to be near Yuto, see him smile and laugh that should be more than enough. He knows where his place stands. He knows he doesn’t deserve more than what he has now until…
“Chinen is not coming today either, is he?” asked Yuto while throwing a piece of rock into the lake.
“I guess not…” Ryosuke answered disappointedly and Yuto just sighing looking at his boyfriend who seems so restless recently. He knows Ryosuke is worried about his best friend and he’s also worried about Chinen. After three months Chinen became close with them slowly he started to distance himself. He was giving excuses every time Ryosuke or Yuto asked him to hang out. Day after day, it’s getting harder to see Chinen around the campus. His course mates claimed that Chinen rarely attend the lecture. Somehow, it seems that Chinen has disappeared just like that.
“Why not you try visiting him at his home?” Yuto walks toward Ryosuke and sits beside him.
“I’m thinking the same thing. Would you like to go with me?”
“Eeng~ I think its better you go without me. He’s your best friend after all” Yuto pats Ryosuke’s head.
“Okay.”
After the last lecture for today, Ryosuke is heading toward Chinen’s house. This is the first time he ever come to Chinen’s house after he moved into this area. Previously, Ryosuke always came and played at his house when Chinen was living in his neighborhood but after graduated from middle school, Chinen suddenly moved away. After few times he pushes the doorbell, a middle aged woman finally opened up the door. Mrs. Chinen is quite surprised to see her son’s best friend after a long time. However, Mrs. Chinen doesn’t look lively and she looks a bit pale but she still trying to force a smile. When Ryosuke asked about Chinen, her smile slowly fades away and she just staring at him with painful eyes.
“Come in, Yamada-kun. There’s something I need to tell you” she invites. Ryosuke let himself into the house and the door is shut closed. However, the moment he steps into that house, his fate already changed…
******
Yuto’s mind became totally messed up. It has been two weeks since Ryosuke tried to avoid him. He didn’t answer Yuto’s call or his emails. Ryosuke will go to campus first without waiting for him to pick him up. Even in the lecture room, Yuto can’t get close to him as the latter always take a seat in between two peoples so Yuto can’t sit beside him. Ryosuke also didn’t come to their favorite place no more. Every time Yuto tried to speak with him, Ryosuke just ignored and ran away from him. No matter how hard Yuto think of any mistake he have done to make Ryosuke treating him this way, he can’t ever find the answer. He’s lost and all confused. Ryosuke is drifting away from him for any reason he doesn’t even know. Only after one month, Ryosuke finally agreed to meet him.
Yuto is waiting restlessly at the park, walking back and forth in front of the lake. Finally, he’s able to speak with Ryosuke after this whole month. Only God knows how much he misses him. The longing that he’s been holding is making him losing his mind. He has too many questions to ask Ryosuke but he decided to wait until he heard Ryosuke’s reason.
“Yuto…”
Yuto immediately turn around as he heard that familiar voice he misses so much. He walks fast towards Ryosuke and embraces him tightly in his arms.
“Ryo…Ryo…I miss you so much…I miss you…” his voice is shaking as he blurted out all his contained feelings. But Ryosuke doesn’t reply his hug and just remain silent. Then Ryosuke grabs Yuto’s arms only to break free from him.
“Ryo?”
“Yuto, I came here just to tell you one thing.”
This voice…how much he longs to hear it.
“What it is, Ryo?” somehow, Yuto feels really nervous of what Ryosuke might say.
After a long silent, Ryosuke told him something that he never wanted to hear.
”Let’s break up” and just like that, Ryosuke coldly walks away from him.
Yuto is too shocked to think of anything. His legs feel so numb to move an inch. He’s unable to chase Ryosuke and asking for the reason behind all this. His mind totally becomes empty and his vision turns blurry. Tears silently fall from his eyes.
“Why…”
******
Not long after the day they broke up, Yuto got the news that Ryosuke applied to change the course. He applied for architecture. Starting from next semester, Yuto won’t be able to see him in the lecture room anymore. This time, it’s totally over between him and Ryosuke. Not like old time in the high school where everyone will help to get them back together again. They are not kids anymore. This is reality. Though Yuto is not sure whether he can accept it or not. There’s no such thing as unbreakable love. Yuto realized that now. Life isn’t a fairytale. His life is only full of questions which there are no answers.
It’s not like Yuto never tried to save their relationship after the break up but the latter is not giving him a chance to do so. Everyday, he purposely waits in front of Architecture Faculty hoping that he will bump into Ryosuke. However, Ryosuke just pretend that he didn’t see him, treating him like a complete stranger. Recently, he notice that there is a girl who always clinging to Ryosuke. Wherever he goes that girl is with him, only the two of them, holding hands. Rumor started to spread that Ryosuke dump Yuto for a girl but Yuto could only smile bitterly. He knew Ryosuke is doing everything to hurt him so he will come to hate him.
“But it’s not that easy Ryo. I can never hate the person that I love more than my life. But if this is what you want, I’ll stop chasing for you but don’t ask me to stop loving you because that is the only thing in the world that I don’t know how to do…”
It’s autumn and Yuto is sitting under the sakura tree which now only left empty branches, staring emptily at the lake. The park where once was a happy place for the two of them is now only a place for a lonely guy to recollecting all the lost memories. Those memories are the only thing that could bring a glimpse of light in the darkness of his life. Losing Ryosuke is like losing his soul. Yuto is nothing more than a living corpse. He closes his eyes forcing to fall asleep hoping he could see Ryosuke’s face inside his dream.
“Yuto…” he heard someone called his name in his sleep.
“Ryo?”
“Yuto…”
“No…this voice…”
“Yuto, wake up!”
Yuto open up his eyes in surprise, totally awake.
“Yokatta~ you’re still alive” Chinen let out a relief sigh. Earlier, Yuto looked like he will never wake up.
“C-Chinen?” Yuto surprised to see Chinen after he has been disappeared for quite some time.
“Yeah, it’s me~”
“Where have you’ve been this whole time?”
“Ah, gomen. I’ve got some issues and I can’t continue my study until it solved.”
“So everything is fine now?”
“Yeah…everything is fine now” Chinen smiles widely.
“Yuto, I heard what happened between you and Ryosuke.”
“I…I don’t understand what actually happened, Chinen” Yuto eyes becomes teary. This whole time he’s been holding such confusion all by himself and now Chinen is here, everything seems to overflow. Chinen pulls Yuto’s head onto his chest and hugs him tenderly.
“It’s okay, Yuto. Just let it out. I’ll listen to every word of yours.”
Yuto is crying to his heart content inside Chinen’s embrace, letting out the pains that he’s been suffering. Chinen caresses Yuto’s hair and let his shirt soaking Yuto tears until no more drop left.
“Gomenasai, Yuto…gomenasai…”
******
Since Chinen came back, he did many things to cheer Yuto up. At the park, Chinen will feed Yuto with all his favorite foods that he cooked himself. He knows ever since Yuto broke up with Ryosuke, he never eat properly and he lost weight a lot. When they both are free from lecture, Chinen will drag him outside to have some fun. Even so, “fun” and “happy” are like words that never exist inside Yuto’s dictionary. Yuto could see how hard Chinen is trying to make him happy but it just he doesn’t know how to smile anymore.
Today, Chinen bring him to the amusement park. Even though Yuto didn’t reject whenever Chinen asked him to join him play but it’s like Chinen is carrying a doll instead. When they ride the roller coaster, everyone is screaming except Yuto. His face shows no emotion at all. When Chinen wants to play merry-go-round, Yuto followed but he just looks like a doll sitting on a horse doll. With that face, of course Chinen doesn’t want bring Yuto to the haunted house because he will be mistaken as a zombie for sure.
Then Chinen saw a stage where few clowns are making performance and he drags Yuto’s hand toward the area. As they seated in front of the stage, Yuto just watch blankly at those clowns. He’s not interested in clowns so the performance is totally boring for him. Yuto looks around and he just realized that he’s only surrounded by little kids. Only two of them are adults sitting in the middle of bunch of kids. Yuto feels like someone is staring at him so he lowered his head and a little boy sitting beside him is staring at him weirdly. That kid must be wondering what the heck these adults are doing here. Then he avert his eyes at Chinen beside him only to see Chinen looks all excited and clapping his hands like the other kids or more like Chinen looks like a little kid himself.
“Pft!” unconsciously, Yuto blurted out a chuckle makes Chinen immediately turns his head toward him.
“Y-Yuto, you’re laughing?”
“Eh? No I’m not.”
“Heh~ you are laughing~ deshou? deshou?” Chinen pokes Yuto’s cheek again and again.
“C-chige yo!”
“Usotsuki~ fufufu~”
“Mou ii yo. Let’s get out of here” Yuto stands up and walking away while Chinen still giggling hard.
Yuto is sitting on the bench while sipping a cold juice. While staring at the big ferris wheel at his front, he’s thinking of what just happened before. It has been a while since he laughed. He thought that he already forgot how to do that. Somehow, he feels grateful to have Chinen as his friend. Suddenly, a pink dog shaped balloon appeared before his eyes.
“Tadaa~ it’s a present for you from Clown-san~” said Chinen while smiling brightly.
“A-arigatou” Yuto reluctantly takes the balloon.
“Hehee~” Chinen drop his butt beside Yuto.
“Chinen?”
“Hm?”
“Why are you being so kind to me?”
“Because I love you~” said Chinen casually.
“Sou ka…because you love m-- eeehh??” Yuto surprised.
“You heard me. I love you and I’m gonna make you love me too~” Chinen winks and smile widely
Ever since Chinen confessed to Yuto, the shorter openly shows his affection toward him without fail. There’s one day when Yuto was walking towards his faculty and suddenly a panda jumped out from behind the tree and startled Yuto. At first, Yuto didn’t know it was Chinen inside the mascot costume until the panda gave him a balloon which has “I Love You” written on it. Then the panda walked away while skipping cutely. He does various ways to melt Yuto’s heart and everything he did Yuto will end up smiling. Yes, he has learned to smile again thanks to Chinen but his heart has not yet opened to accept Chinen more than a friend. Yuto still can’t forget about Ryosuke and his love toward that guy hasn’t changed even though the latter has thrown him out from his life completely.
******
Yuto is heading to the park as he decided to take a nap before his next lecture. He walks toward the sakura tree in front of the lake and then he saw something hanging from the tree branch. As he gets nearer, he saw a mini gundam toy tied at the end of the rope and there’s a note attached on it written “Have you fallen for me?” Yuto smiles while he untied the rope around the toy.
“Ano chibi…This is the fiftieth toy he gave me” Yuto caresses the small toy in his hand. Since Chinen learned that Yuto likes toys a lot, he’s been giving him one toy everyday with each toy there’s a note attached on it and he didn’t give it to him directly instead, he put the toys at places where he knew Yuto will always go or pass by and amazingly Yuto never once miss it out not even one toy. It’s a lie if he says that he doesn’t feel touched even a slightest bit. Chinen brings smile in his life and because of him, he didn’t live in the darkness anymore.
“Yutti~”
Yuto rolls his eyes. He knows exactly who’s behind him. Only that person who’s always calls him by that name.
“Yuri, I told you don’t call me like that.”
“Why not? It’s cute anyway~” Chinen peeks at the toy in Yuto’s hand and he grins.
“So? Have you fallen for me yet?” he asked but Yuto didn’t answer. Chinen sighs and meet his forehead on Yuto’s back.
“Yuto…how long you gonna make me wait?”
“Is it okay now? Can I really move on even though I’m not sure if I can love Yuri like how he loves me? Even though I’m not sure if I can forget about Ryo completely?”
“I can’t wait anymore” Chinen turns Yuto around facing him and cupped Yuto’s cheek.
“Please Yuto…surrender yourself to me. Let me love you…” Chinen begged but Yuto just looking at him silently. Chinen clenches on Yuto’s shirt and tip-toeing to reach for Yuto’s lips. The taller didn’t move away and let Chinen’s lips touches his. As Yuto closes his eyes, tear is streaming down on his cheek.
“Ryo…”
From far, a pair of teary eyes is watching them both sharing a kiss. Ryosuke stepped behind the tree and let the big trunk hide him as he is crying painfully hard. From the start, his love for Yuto has never changed but he has to sacrificed his love and let him go without his will. It all because of a promise that need to be kept, a wish that he needs to fulfilled.
One year later…
Yuto is walking in the cemetery, holding a bouquet of white roses. He stopped at one particular tombstone and he kneeled down as he places the bouquet in front of the tombstone. He clasp his hands together and he prays.
“Yuto…gomen ne…” said Chinen who was lying weakly on the bed.
“Stop saying that…” Yuto held Chinen’s hand tightly.
After Yuto decided to accept Chinen’s love, they started dating even though they both knew that their feelings aren’t mutual. Even so, their relationship went smooth for six months and Yuto never felt lack of happiness with Chinen by his side. Chinen gave him so much love that he could never imagined. Little by little, Chinen’s love torn open Yuto’s sealed heart after a long time. However just when Yuto’s love started to grow, he got shocking news from Chinen’s mom that he was admitted into the hospital and the truth was finally revealed.
Chinen is suffered from brain cancer and doctor said he might have less than two years to live. He wanted to make good of the time he left into his fullness, to have normal life, going into university even though he knew he will never make it to graduate. That was what he only asked for until the day he met Yuto and fell in love with him. Unfortunately, Yuto is his old best friend’s lover and he tried to forget his feelings. However, as he became closed to Yuto and his time is clocking to an end, greediness started to take over his rationality.
Chinen suddenly stopped coming to his lecture because his condition got bad. His unstable emotion made him overstressed but Chinen didn’t want to stay in the hospital and rest at his home instead. Then one day, Ryosuke came into his house and saw him lying on his bed with medical supplies everywhere. On that day, Chinen begged Ryosuke to fulfill his last wish which is that he wanted to spend the rest of his life that he got left with the person he loves.
“Yuto…I’m sorry I didn’t…tell you the truth. I’m s-sorry…I’ve ruined your happiness with Ryosuke. I-I’m sorry…for being selfish” Chinen tried to speak between his heavy breaths. He has the oxygen mask on his face, looking so pale and his body became skinnier. A cap covered his hairless head. He was at his critical stage, only waiting for his time to come. Ever since Chinen admitted into the hospital, Yuto visits him everyday and take a good care of him. It’s really hurt for him to witness Chinen suffering the critical symptoms and watched his physical condition changed but he wanted to stay by his side. At least, that’s the only thing he could do for him.
“Yuri, stop apologizing. I never blame you for what happened.”
“Would you…promise me something?”
“Anything, Yuri. Just say it.”
“A-after I’m gone…d-don’t be alone…find your happiness back…he’s waiting for you…” Chinen weakly wipe away Yuto’s tears. The taller grasped his cold hand and held it tight.
“Please…b-be happy…Yuto…” Chinen’s hand dropped from Yuto’s grip. His eyes were closed forever…
Yuto opened up his eyes and slides his fingers across Chinen’s name craved on the tombstone. His eyes become watery as he remembered Chinen’s bright smile and his cheerful laughter but now he can never see them again.
“He’s waiting for you…”
“Is he still waiting, Yuri?”
******
Ryosuke is standing in front of the lake, feeling the spring breeze blow against his face. It has been a long time since he came to this park. All memories of Yuto and him created in this place flashing back in his mind and also the short time that he spent with his best friend.
“Onegai Ryosuke…let me have him for one year, just one year. I want him to be by my side until I…until I die” Chinen begged while his tears were flowing fast.
No matter how painful it is Ryosuke can’t reject Chinen’s selfish wish. Knowing that his best friend only have one year left to live is enough to make his heart full of despair. Chinen is the only best friend he ever had and he is being cruel if he refuses to fulfill his very last wish. And so, he agreed.
“Arigatou, Ryosuke…but promise me one thing”
“What it is?”
“After I’m gone, please don’t let him be alone. Take his hand and never let him go, ever…”
“I promise, Yuri…” he said softly and wipe away his tears.
“Ryo…”
Ryosuke stunned as heard a voice that he misses so much. He quickly turns around and saw Yuto is standing under the tree. An overwhelmed happiness struck his heart the moment Yuto smile at him. Ryosuke run as fast as he could toward Yuto and wrapped his hands around his waist firmly and the taller replied the hug even tighter.
“Gomen ne, Ryo. You’ve waited for so long.”
“Mou hanaretakunai…zettai ni” Ryosuke snuggles closer into Yuto’s chest. Ryosuke's love for Yuto is still stand strong. Even without his promise with Chinen, he already decided to wait for Yuto to come back to him. He believed in Yuto. He believed in their love. And now, his wait is finally over.
“Ore mo…zutto soba ni itai” Yuto clenches Ryosuke’s head and rest his lips on his bangs. Yuto can never forget about Ryosuke this whole time. Indeed Chinen has opened up his heart again but his love for Ryosuke is irreplaceable. He really glad that Ryosuke loyally waiting for him. Their love is unbreakable after all. Fairytale does exist between Ryosuke and him. Ryosuke is his one and only fairytale love.
“Yuto…”
“Hm?”
“Okaeri…”
“Tadaima…” Yuto looks up at the blue sky and smile brightly.
Tengoku no Yuri,
You don’t have to worry anymore…
Kore kara mo, Ryosuke will always be here with me…
Dakara, daijoubu…
Ore wa shiawase ni naru…
Yuri…even though our time together was short…
I really did love you…
~Owari~
A/n: I really, really lazy to write anything lately, lazy to update Our Fate Made by Mistake also. I wrote this fic to get my writing mood back so maybe you can see my laziness in my writing. I’m gonna rest a little longer until I got my writing mood completely so I can update my fic because I don’t want to write it half-heartedly.
Honto ni gomenasai
Author: Nara
Pairing: YutoYama, YutoChii
Genre: Romance, High School, University, Angst.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Yuto and Ryosuke have been in love since they were in high school and they promised to go into a same university. Ryosuke’s love toward Yuto is strong and unbreakable makes Yuto the happiest guy in entire world. However, life is not like a fairy tale. Ryosuke changed. He wants to break up, leaving Yuto a thousand questions he can’t seem to find the answers. Being left in the darkness and brokenhearted, someone came to bring light in Yuto’s life, Chinen Yuri. As bright and cheerful as he is, Chinen has a hidden secret, a secret that he shared with Ryosuke…
Yuto is looking up at the blue sky while smiling. He closes his eyes and breathes in the spring breeze deeply. Then he lowers his head, gazing at the beautiful sleeping face on his lap. His lips parted a little bit, exhaling soft breathes. Yuto brushes aside the brown bangs so he could see those long eyelashes clearly. Now matter how long he stares at this face, he never once get tired of it. Instead, his smile on his lips is getting wider. He is Yamada Ryosuke, his classmate, his best friend and…his lover. Everyday at school, they will spend their time together at the rooftop. Up here, the world seems to revolve only around them. Slowly, Ryosuke opens up his eyes and welcomed by Yuto’s gentle smile above him.
“Baka…” Ryosuke pouts.
“E-eh?” Yuto tilts his head, confuse what he did wrong that makes him sulking.
“You know I’m not actually sleeping deshou? How come you never try to kiss me?” Ryosuke furrowed his eyebrows and his pouty lips are getting longer.
“Pft! Is that why you’re sulking?” Yuto is giggling hard.
“Warau na yo~” he whines. Ryosuke gets up from Yuto’s lap and face his back toward Yuto.
“Ryo, gomen ne~ I was too fascinated with your beauty and I forgot about anything else.”
“You even forget to kiss me?”
“……” Yuto remain silent.
“Mou ii” Ryosuke is trying to get up but Yuto pulls his arm and steal Ryosuke’s lips as his own. Yuto tilts his head to deepen the kiss and he slips his tongue inside Ryosuke’s wet cavern. Their tongues entwining hungrily, battling for dominance and Ryosuke gladly surrendered. He knows he can’t win against Yuto’s kiss.
“Mmh…w-wait…I can’t…b-breathe” Ryosuke pushes Yuto’s chest, trying to break the kiss but Yuto grabs his head and lock their lips even tighter. Saliva streaming down from the corner of Ryosuke’s lips as Yuto sliding his tongue and teasing Ryosuke’s before he captured those swollen lips again.
“Haa…” Ryosuke gasping for air desperately after Yuto finally broke the kiss.
“You know why I didn’t kiss you before?” Yuto palming Ryosuke’s reddened cheek.
“Because once I start kissing you, I don’t know how to stop” Yuto smirks while loosening Ryosuke’s tie and the latter is blushing all to his ears. Ryosuke knows exactly what will happen next after Yuto dropped his tie on the floor.
………
Yuto and Ryosuke are having their last year of high school to their fullest. They wish to create wonderful memories as much as they could in here, Ogurabashi High the place where their love started to blossom.
More than two years ago, they were just a complete stranger. They seated beside each other when they took the entrance exams but they never exchanging glances. Both were so serious about the exams because in their mind only have one determination; to get accepted into top high school, Ogurabashi High. Both of them were honor students from their previous middle schools and they were confident that they will get the top grade.
On the day the exams result was out, Ryosuke excitedly finding his name from the top of the list but his mouth was hanging opened to saw someone else’s name at the first rank. It was Nakajima Yuto. His name was second and what made him so frustrated is the different between their grades was only two points. He cursed that guy million times for stealing his throne.
“Tch! Who the hell is this Nakajima guy?” Ryosuke thought, giving death stare to that name on top of the list while standing beside him, a tall guy was grinning widely as the result came out exactly as he expected. Yuto stared at his name proudly. With this, he will be the freshman representative on the entrance ceremony. All cute girls will fall head over heels for him when he gives his speech on the stage. Having such thought in his mind, Yuto’s grin became even wider. Yuto read the name below his and he smirked. “Kawaisou ne, ano Yamada~ gomen, the one who’ll become popular is me, fufufu~” Yuto was trying to hold his chuckles.
Yuto and Ryosuke were standing there in front of the big board, one of them was mad and the other was grinning, not realizing the one who made them like that was just standing right next to them.
………
The day of entrance ceremony came. Ryosuke was crossing his arms and wearing an annoyed look on his face as teacher called Nakajima Yuto’s name to give freshman representative speech. “Hmph! He must be an ugly nerd!” Ryosuke scoffed and averted his eyes away from the stage. Then Yuto appeared behind the red curtains and the moment he started walking toward the stage, the hall filled with mutters.
“Aah~ kakkoii~”
Ryosuke’s eyebrow flinched. “Kakkoii?”
“Oujisama ga mitai~”
“Ryosuke frowned. “O-oujisama?”
“Suteki~”
He frowned even harder. “Suteki??!” Ryosuke averted back his eyes at the stages and his sight immediately landed on Yuto who already standing behind the speech podium.
“Hajimemashite. Nakajima Yuto desu~” he introduced while plastering the sweetest smile that peoples in this earth ever saw.
Kyun~♥
A love arrow stabbed Ryosuke’s heart instantly and he stiffed into stone.
“Ka…kakkoii~” Ryosuke cupped his own cheeks and his eyes were sparkling. On that time, Ryosuke has the same look as the other girls who were also mesmerized by Yuto’s coolness. His anger toward Yuto for stolen his first rank disappear just like that.
And that was how Ryosuke fell in love with Yuto, as simple as love at first sight. But who will guess, how Yuto fell for Ryosuke is even simpler?
………
After the entrance ceremony ended, Ryosuke walked to the classroom. His feet stopped as he saw crowd of peoples gathered outside his classroom.
“Nanja kore?” he wondered. He tried to sneak through the crowd and enter his classroom. Once inside, his eyes widened and his jaw dropped when he saw Yuto in the middle of crowd of girls.
“Woah~ it’s Nakajima Yuto~” Ryosuke grinned and his eyes shine in happiness. He stepped closer to the taller but those girls blocking his way. “Tch!” he clicked his tongue feeling so irritated.
“Kyaah!” the girls squealed as Ryosuke spread his both arms, pushing away the girls to his both sides and made way for himself.
“Doke!” he said brutally while sending evil stare to those girls.
“Hiii!” the girls got scared and stepping backward, giving more space to Ryosuke and Yuto.
“Nakajima Yuto!” Ryosuke called once he stood in front of him.
“H-hai!” Yuto answered in reflex because of surprise. “D-d-dare? Kono hito wa? Yankee?” he gulped.
“Ore to tsukiatte kudasai~“ Ryosuke’s face changed all cute and sweet in sudden.
“Eeeehhh???” the whole class screamed at the same time.
Yuto stunned. “Na-na-nani kore?? He confessed in front of all people! Moreover, he’s a guy! This is bad. Everybody must think this is weird. My popularity...Oi! The school just started today! Iyaa daa! Give me back my youth!!”
“Ne~ henji wa?”
“Woah!” Yuto startled and snapped back to reality as Ryosuke face suddenly became too close to him.
“D-dame ka?” Ryosuke’s facial expression turned sad. His eyes look like teary puppy eyes.
Little by little Yuto’s cheeks flushed in red. “K-kawaii…”
“Am I not enough? Even though I love you this much?” tears started to flow from Ryosuke’s eyes.
Kyun~♥
“Do you really love me?” Yuto asked.
“Un. I love you the moment I laid my eyes on you and…you’re my first love” Ryosuke answered while rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. His shoulders were still shaking from the sobbing.
Kyun~♥ Kyun~♥
Yuto can’t handle Ryosuke’s cuteness and his bluntness. Unconsciously, his hand reaching for Ryosuke’s cheek and wiped his tears gently.
“Yes…” Yuto said in lowered voice.
“Eh?” Ryosuke tilted his head.
“My answer is yes~” Yuto smiled and Ryosuke who got what his means, started to curved a smile too, a wide one.
“Honto ni?” Ryosuke asked excitedly.
“Honto ni” Yuto answered.
“Honto, honto ni?”
“Honto, honto ni.”
“Honto, honto, honto ni?”
“Honto, honto, honto ni.”
“Wai~ hureshii~” Ryosuke wrapped his hand around Yuto’s neck and sit on his lap.
“Ah. You didn’t tell me you name” Yuto suddenly remembered that didn’t even know his now-boyfriend’s name.
“Ryosuke, Yamada Ryosuke~” Ryosuke tightened his hug and Yuto wrapped his arms across Ryosuke’s waist with the same pressure, totally ignored peoples around them were looking with mouth hanging opened.
“A-re? Yamada Ryosuke? Why it sound so familiar? Ah! The ranking” Yuto suddenly remembered. “I guess…this is what they called fate. Maika. With this cute guy by my side, I don’t need to be popular.”
Ryosuke loosened up the hug and looked into Yuto eyes.
“I love you” he said with blushing cheeks.
“Etou…I love you too?” Yuto’s cheeks also reddening. Hearing that, Ryosuke the type of person who never thinks before he act, immediately gave Yuto a smooch.
Moe~
Everyone in the class stared at those to lovebirds with sparkling eyes. Instead of feeling disgust, their cuteness made their hearts melt.
After that, the whole school became aware of their relationship and they gave them their full supports. Because of that, Yuto and Ryosuke never felt worried to show their affections toward each other in public. Sometimes, they got into a fight or more like love quarrel and didn’t spoke to each other for few days. But their classmates can’t stand to see them like that so every time they will come out with a plan to get them back together again. Thanks to their classmates, their relationship getting stronger and unbreakable. Even the teachers can’t do anything to those couples since they both are the top students. As long as their studies go well, there’s nothing to worry about those two.
Yuto and Ryosuke’s love story is an epic.
******
“Yuto, which university you will choose?” asked Ryosuke when they are studying in the library. Their final exam is just around the corner.
“Todai” Yuto replied while his hand is busying writing down a note.
“Sou? I’ll choose the same then.”
“Atari mai ja nai? We’re going together. I’m not planning to separate from you.”
“Teehee~” Ryosuke is cupping his blushing cheeks. Yuto stopped from writing and looks at his lover while smiling. They have been together almost 3 years now and he wants their relationship will continue even after they graduated from high school. He knows Ryosuke will pick the same university as his and Todai is not a problem for both of them. With their brains, they could pass the entrance exam for sure and Yuto feels grateful of that. From now on, he wants Ryosuke to be by his side, zutto.
“Y-Yuto? Why are you staring at me like that?” Ryosuke realized that Yuto has been staring at him for a while now.
“Ii e. Just thinking how cute you are~” Yuto smiles.
“W-what are you saying baka! It’s embarrassing!” Ryosuke hides his blushing face using the book. But then he peeks at Yuto a little.
“Y-you really think I’m cute?” he shyly asked. It’s not like he never heard Yuto praises him like he’s cute or beautiful it’s just to be told something like that from the person that he loves really makes him happy.
“Un. Sekai ni ichiban ga kawaii~”
Since Ryosuke still covering his face with the book, Yuto can’t see that his boyfriend’s face is blushing hard right now but Yuto already knows it.
******
It is spring and sakura trees are blossoming proudly. Yuto and Ryosuke now is a first year student of University of Tokyo. Both of them are taking engineering course. They have kept their promise to get into this university together. Every morning, Yuto will pick Ryosuke up by his car and drove to Todai. Since they are taking the same course, they got to be in the same lecture. Because both of them are intelligent, they really stand out among the others. It didn’t take a long time before the girls have their heartbroken after knowing that Yuto and Ryosuke are lovers. But those girls could accept it because they realized that Yuto that they love is Yuto who’s in love with Ryosuke. Same goes for girls who love Ryosuke. They attracted to him for who he is when Yuto at his side.
When they have no lecture, they will go on date and spend the time together. In Todai, they have their favorite spot to hang out and study. There is a park near the Agricultural Faculty where the park is beautiful with a small lake in the middle. They always promised to meet there whenever they have free times. They just laying beside each other on the grassy ground and staring at the blue sky while holding hands or sleeping in each other embrace under the sakura tree. Everyday seems to be perfect for Yuto with Ryosuke in his life.
Or…is it not?
Yuto and Ryosuke are on their way to afternoon’s lecture. Behind them, a short guy with a girl looking face is running in hurry while carrying a pile of books. One of his books is almost fall and he tries to catch it but because of his eyes are not at his front, he bumped into Yuto’s shoulder makes the short guy fall together with all his books.
“Gomenasai!” he bows as he apologized then he quickly picking up his books. Yuto kneels down and helps the guy.
“Daijoubu?” Yuto asked while handling over the book to him.
“Hai, arigatou gozaimasu” the dark brown haired guy holds the book which still in Yuto’s hand and raises his head to look at Yuto. The time seems to freeze as the shorter keep staring at Yuto without blinking while they both still holding the book.
“Doushita no?” Yuto asked as he feels weird the latter is staring at him like that.
“Ah! Na-nandemonai” the short guy quickly takes the book completely from Yuto’s hand.
“Yuri?” Ryosuke called suddenly and the latter avert his gaze at him, looking confuse for a while before his eyes widened.
“Ryosuke? It’s that really you?”
“Uwah~ hisashiburi~” Ryosuke hugs Chinen and the books once again scattered on the ground.
“Eh? You guys know each other?” asked Yuto.
“Un! He’s my childhood friend. We’ve been best friend since kindergarten until the middle school” replied Ryosuke while still hugging Chinen in his arms.
“Ah, sou ka.”
“Yuto, this is Chinen Yuri. Yuri, this is Nakajima Yuto, my boyfriend” Ryosuke introduced. For a while, Chinen stunned hearing the last word but he quickly shrugs it off.
“Hajimemashite, Nakajima-kun” Chinen bows a little.
“Hajimemashite~” Yuto smiles. Chinen clenches his shirt as he feels tight in his chest.
“Yuri, are you late for something?”
“Ah! My lecture!”
“Mou~ you’re still clumsy as usual”
“Hehe~”
“Ryo, if we still standing here we also gonna be late for our lecture, you know.”
“Yabe! Yuri, gomen. Matta ne” Ryosuke grabs Yuto’s hand and walking away in hurry. But Chinen still standing there despite he’s already late for his lecture.
“I thought I’ll never fall in love with someone anymore. But why among all peoples, I fell for my old best friend’s lover?” said Chinen, talking to himself.
Another story about how a person could simply fell in love with someone. But the different is Yuto didn’t simply love Chinen back because he already did it for Ryosuke and people can’t fell in love at first sight twice.
******
Knowing that his best friend is also a student of Todai, Ryosuke always called Chinen and asked him to join Yuto and him whenever they hang out together. Yuto doesn’t mind having Chinen around because it’s fun being friend with him. As time goes by, the three of them became close. The park that always been the place for those two has added one more presence. Though it’s hurt to witness how Yuto is so in love with Ryosuke every single day, Chinen try to be strong. He got to be near Yuto, see him smile and laugh that should be more than enough. He knows where his place stands. He knows he doesn’t deserve more than what he has now until…
“Chinen is not coming today either, is he?” asked Yuto while throwing a piece of rock into the lake.
“I guess not…” Ryosuke answered disappointedly and Yuto just sighing looking at his boyfriend who seems so restless recently. He knows Ryosuke is worried about his best friend and he’s also worried about Chinen. After three months Chinen became close with them slowly he started to distance himself. He was giving excuses every time Ryosuke or Yuto asked him to hang out. Day after day, it’s getting harder to see Chinen around the campus. His course mates claimed that Chinen rarely attend the lecture. Somehow, it seems that Chinen has disappeared just like that.
“Why not you try visiting him at his home?” Yuto walks toward Ryosuke and sits beside him.
“I’m thinking the same thing. Would you like to go with me?”
“Eeng~ I think its better you go without me. He’s your best friend after all” Yuto pats Ryosuke’s head.
“Okay.”
After the last lecture for today, Ryosuke is heading toward Chinen’s house. This is the first time he ever come to Chinen’s house after he moved into this area. Previously, Ryosuke always came and played at his house when Chinen was living in his neighborhood but after graduated from middle school, Chinen suddenly moved away. After few times he pushes the doorbell, a middle aged woman finally opened up the door. Mrs. Chinen is quite surprised to see her son’s best friend after a long time. However, Mrs. Chinen doesn’t look lively and she looks a bit pale but she still trying to force a smile. When Ryosuke asked about Chinen, her smile slowly fades away and she just staring at him with painful eyes.
“Come in, Yamada-kun. There’s something I need to tell you” she invites. Ryosuke let himself into the house and the door is shut closed. However, the moment he steps into that house, his fate already changed…
******
Yuto’s mind became totally messed up. It has been two weeks since Ryosuke tried to avoid him. He didn’t answer Yuto’s call or his emails. Ryosuke will go to campus first without waiting for him to pick him up. Even in the lecture room, Yuto can’t get close to him as the latter always take a seat in between two peoples so Yuto can’t sit beside him. Ryosuke also didn’t come to their favorite place no more. Every time Yuto tried to speak with him, Ryosuke just ignored and ran away from him. No matter how hard Yuto think of any mistake he have done to make Ryosuke treating him this way, he can’t ever find the answer. He’s lost and all confused. Ryosuke is drifting away from him for any reason he doesn’t even know. Only after one month, Ryosuke finally agreed to meet him.
Yuto is waiting restlessly at the park, walking back and forth in front of the lake. Finally, he’s able to speak with Ryosuke after this whole month. Only God knows how much he misses him. The longing that he’s been holding is making him losing his mind. He has too many questions to ask Ryosuke but he decided to wait until he heard Ryosuke’s reason.
“Yuto…”
Yuto immediately turn around as he heard that familiar voice he misses so much. He walks fast towards Ryosuke and embraces him tightly in his arms.
“Ryo…Ryo…I miss you so much…I miss you…” his voice is shaking as he blurted out all his contained feelings. But Ryosuke doesn’t reply his hug and just remain silent. Then Ryosuke grabs Yuto’s arms only to break free from him.
“Ryo?”
“Yuto, I came here just to tell you one thing.”
This voice…how much he longs to hear it.
“What it is, Ryo?” somehow, Yuto feels really nervous of what Ryosuke might say.
After a long silent, Ryosuke told him something that he never wanted to hear.
”Let’s break up” and just like that, Ryosuke coldly walks away from him.
Yuto is too shocked to think of anything. His legs feel so numb to move an inch. He’s unable to chase Ryosuke and asking for the reason behind all this. His mind totally becomes empty and his vision turns blurry. Tears silently fall from his eyes.
“Why…”
******
Not long after the day they broke up, Yuto got the news that Ryosuke applied to change the course. He applied for architecture. Starting from next semester, Yuto won’t be able to see him in the lecture room anymore. This time, it’s totally over between him and Ryosuke. Not like old time in the high school where everyone will help to get them back together again. They are not kids anymore. This is reality. Though Yuto is not sure whether he can accept it or not. There’s no such thing as unbreakable love. Yuto realized that now. Life isn’t a fairytale. His life is only full of questions which there are no answers.
It’s not like Yuto never tried to save their relationship after the break up but the latter is not giving him a chance to do so. Everyday, he purposely waits in front of Architecture Faculty hoping that he will bump into Ryosuke. However, Ryosuke just pretend that he didn’t see him, treating him like a complete stranger. Recently, he notice that there is a girl who always clinging to Ryosuke. Wherever he goes that girl is with him, only the two of them, holding hands. Rumor started to spread that Ryosuke dump Yuto for a girl but Yuto could only smile bitterly. He knew Ryosuke is doing everything to hurt him so he will come to hate him.
“But it’s not that easy Ryo. I can never hate the person that I love more than my life. But if this is what you want, I’ll stop chasing for you but don’t ask me to stop loving you because that is the only thing in the world that I don’t know how to do…”
It’s autumn and Yuto is sitting under the sakura tree which now only left empty branches, staring emptily at the lake. The park where once was a happy place for the two of them is now only a place for a lonely guy to recollecting all the lost memories. Those memories are the only thing that could bring a glimpse of light in the darkness of his life. Losing Ryosuke is like losing his soul. Yuto is nothing more than a living corpse. He closes his eyes forcing to fall asleep hoping he could see Ryosuke’s face inside his dream.
“Yuto…” he heard someone called his name in his sleep.
“Ryo?”
“Yuto…”
“No…this voice…”
“Yuto, wake up!”
Yuto open up his eyes in surprise, totally awake.
“Yokatta~ you’re still alive” Chinen let out a relief sigh. Earlier, Yuto looked like he will never wake up.
“C-Chinen?” Yuto surprised to see Chinen after he has been disappeared for quite some time.
“Yeah, it’s me~”
“Where have you’ve been this whole time?”
“Ah, gomen. I’ve got some issues and I can’t continue my study until it solved.”
“So everything is fine now?”
“Yeah…everything is fine now” Chinen smiles widely.
“Yuto, I heard what happened between you and Ryosuke.”
“I…I don’t understand what actually happened, Chinen” Yuto eyes becomes teary. This whole time he’s been holding such confusion all by himself and now Chinen is here, everything seems to overflow. Chinen pulls Yuto’s head onto his chest and hugs him tenderly.
“It’s okay, Yuto. Just let it out. I’ll listen to every word of yours.”
Yuto is crying to his heart content inside Chinen’s embrace, letting out the pains that he’s been suffering. Chinen caresses Yuto’s hair and let his shirt soaking Yuto tears until no more drop left.
“Gomenasai, Yuto…gomenasai…”
******
Since Chinen came back, he did many things to cheer Yuto up. At the park, Chinen will feed Yuto with all his favorite foods that he cooked himself. He knows ever since Yuto broke up with Ryosuke, he never eat properly and he lost weight a lot. When they both are free from lecture, Chinen will drag him outside to have some fun. Even so, “fun” and “happy” are like words that never exist inside Yuto’s dictionary. Yuto could see how hard Chinen is trying to make him happy but it just he doesn’t know how to smile anymore.
Today, Chinen bring him to the amusement park. Even though Yuto didn’t reject whenever Chinen asked him to join him play but it’s like Chinen is carrying a doll instead. When they ride the roller coaster, everyone is screaming except Yuto. His face shows no emotion at all. When Chinen wants to play merry-go-round, Yuto followed but he just looks like a doll sitting on a horse doll. With that face, of course Chinen doesn’t want bring Yuto to the haunted house because he will be mistaken as a zombie for sure.
Then Chinen saw a stage where few clowns are making performance and he drags Yuto’s hand toward the area. As they seated in front of the stage, Yuto just watch blankly at those clowns. He’s not interested in clowns so the performance is totally boring for him. Yuto looks around and he just realized that he’s only surrounded by little kids. Only two of them are adults sitting in the middle of bunch of kids. Yuto feels like someone is staring at him so he lowered his head and a little boy sitting beside him is staring at him weirdly. That kid must be wondering what the heck these adults are doing here. Then he avert his eyes at Chinen beside him only to see Chinen looks all excited and clapping his hands like the other kids or more like Chinen looks like a little kid himself.
“Pft!” unconsciously, Yuto blurted out a chuckle makes Chinen immediately turns his head toward him.
“Y-Yuto, you’re laughing?”
“Eh? No I’m not.”
“Heh~ you are laughing~ deshou? deshou?” Chinen pokes Yuto’s cheek again and again.
“C-chige yo!”
“Usotsuki~ fufufu~”
“Mou ii yo. Let’s get out of here” Yuto stands up and walking away while Chinen still giggling hard.
Yuto is sitting on the bench while sipping a cold juice. While staring at the big ferris wheel at his front, he’s thinking of what just happened before. It has been a while since he laughed. He thought that he already forgot how to do that. Somehow, he feels grateful to have Chinen as his friend. Suddenly, a pink dog shaped balloon appeared before his eyes.
“Tadaa~ it’s a present for you from Clown-san~” said Chinen while smiling brightly.
“A-arigatou” Yuto reluctantly takes the balloon.
“Hehee~” Chinen drop his butt beside Yuto.
“Chinen?”
“Hm?”
“Why are you being so kind to me?”
“Because I love you~” said Chinen casually.
“Sou ka…because you love m-- eeehh??” Yuto surprised.
“You heard me. I love you and I’m gonna make you love me too~” Chinen winks and smile widely
Ever since Chinen confessed to Yuto, the shorter openly shows his affection toward him without fail. There’s one day when Yuto was walking towards his faculty and suddenly a panda jumped out from behind the tree and startled Yuto. At first, Yuto didn’t know it was Chinen inside the mascot costume until the panda gave him a balloon which has “I Love You” written on it. Then the panda walked away while skipping cutely. He does various ways to melt Yuto’s heart and everything he did Yuto will end up smiling. Yes, he has learned to smile again thanks to Chinen but his heart has not yet opened to accept Chinen more than a friend. Yuto still can’t forget about Ryosuke and his love toward that guy hasn’t changed even though the latter has thrown him out from his life completely.
******
Yuto is heading to the park as he decided to take a nap before his next lecture. He walks toward the sakura tree in front of the lake and then he saw something hanging from the tree branch. As he gets nearer, he saw a mini gundam toy tied at the end of the rope and there’s a note attached on it written “Have you fallen for me?” Yuto smiles while he untied the rope around the toy.
“Ano chibi…This is the fiftieth toy he gave me” Yuto caresses the small toy in his hand. Since Chinen learned that Yuto likes toys a lot, he’s been giving him one toy everyday with each toy there’s a note attached on it and he didn’t give it to him directly instead, he put the toys at places where he knew Yuto will always go or pass by and amazingly Yuto never once miss it out not even one toy. It’s a lie if he says that he doesn’t feel touched even a slightest bit. Chinen brings smile in his life and because of him, he didn’t live in the darkness anymore.
“Yutti~”
Yuto rolls his eyes. He knows exactly who’s behind him. Only that person who’s always calls him by that name.
“Yuri, I told you don’t call me like that.”
“Why not? It’s cute anyway~” Chinen peeks at the toy in Yuto’s hand and he grins.
“So? Have you fallen for me yet?” he asked but Yuto didn’t answer. Chinen sighs and meet his forehead on Yuto’s back.
“Yuto…how long you gonna make me wait?”
“Is it okay now? Can I really move on even though I’m not sure if I can love Yuri like how he loves me? Even though I’m not sure if I can forget about Ryo completely?”
“I can’t wait anymore” Chinen turns Yuto around facing him and cupped Yuto’s cheek.
“Please Yuto…surrender yourself to me. Let me love you…” Chinen begged but Yuto just looking at him silently. Chinen clenches on Yuto’s shirt and tip-toeing to reach for Yuto’s lips. The taller didn’t move away and let Chinen’s lips touches his. As Yuto closes his eyes, tear is streaming down on his cheek.
“Ryo…”
From far, a pair of teary eyes is watching them both sharing a kiss. Ryosuke stepped behind the tree and let the big trunk hide him as he is crying painfully hard. From the start, his love for Yuto has never changed but he has to sacrificed his love and let him go without his will. It all because of a promise that need to be kept, a wish that he needs to fulfilled.
One year later…
Yuto is walking in the cemetery, holding a bouquet of white roses. He stopped at one particular tombstone and he kneeled down as he places the bouquet in front of the tombstone. He clasp his hands together and he prays.
“Yuto…gomen ne…” said Chinen who was lying weakly on the bed.
“Stop saying that…” Yuto held Chinen’s hand tightly.
After Yuto decided to accept Chinen’s love, they started dating even though they both knew that their feelings aren’t mutual. Even so, their relationship went smooth for six months and Yuto never felt lack of happiness with Chinen by his side. Chinen gave him so much love that he could never imagined. Little by little, Chinen’s love torn open Yuto’s sealed heart after a long time. However just when Yuto’s love started to grow, he got shocking news from Chinen’s mom that he was admitted into the hospital and the truth was finally revealed.
Chinen is suffered from brain cancer and doctor said he might have less than two years to live. He wanted to make good of the time he left into his fullness, to have normal life, going into university even though he knew he will never make it to graduate. That was what he only asked for until the day he met Yuto and fell in love with him. Unfortunately, Yuto is his old best friend’s lover and he tried to forget his feelings. However, as he became closed to Yuto and his time is clocking to an end, greediness started to take over his rationality.
Chinen suddenly stopped coming to his lecture because his condition got bad. His unstable emotion made him overstressed but Chinen didn’t want to stay in the hospital and rest at his home instead. Then one day, Ryosuke came into his house and saw him lying on his bed with medical supplies everywhere. On that day, Chinen begged Ryosuke to fulfill his last wish which is that he wanted to spend the rest of his life that he got left with the person he loves.
“Yuto…I’m sorry I didn’t…tell you the truth. I’m s-sorry…I’ve ruined your happiness with Ryosuke. I-I’m sorry…for being selfish” Chinen tried to speak between his heavy breaths. He has the oxygen mask on his face, looking so pale and his body became skinnier. A cap covered his hairless head. He was at his critical stage, only waiting for his time to come. Ever since Chinen admitted into the hospital, Yuto visits him everyday and take a good care of him. It’s really hurt for him to witness Chinen suffering the critical symptoms and watched his physical condition changed but he wanted to stay by his side. At least, that’s the only thing he could do for him.
“Yuri, stop apologizing. I never blame you for what happened.”
“Would you…promise me something?”
“Anything, Yuri. Just say it.”
“A-after I’m gone…d-don’t be alone…find your happiness back…he’s waiting for you…” Chinen weakly wipe away Yuto’s tears. The taller grasped his cold hand and held it tight.
“Please…b-be happy…Yuto…” Chinen’s hand dropped from Yuto’s grip. His eyes were closed forever…
Yuto opened up his eyes and slides his fingers across Chinen’s name craved on the tombstone. His eyes become watery as he remembered Chinen’s bright smile and his cheerful laughter but now he can never see them again.
“He’s waiting for you…”
“Is he still waiting, Yuri?”
******
Ryosuke is standing in front of the lake, feeling the spring breeze blow against his face. It has been a long time since he came to this park. All memories of Yuto and him created in this place flashing back in his mind and also the short time that he spent with his best friend.
“Onegai Ryosuke…let me have him for one year, just one year. I want him to be by my side until I…until I die” Chinen begged while his tears were flowing fast.
No matter how painful it is Ryosuke can’t reject Chinen’s selfish wish. Knowing that his best friend only have one year left to live is enough to make his heart full of despair. Chinen is the only best friend he ever had and he is being cruel if he refuses to fulfill his very last wish. And so, he agreed.
“Arigatou, Ryosuke…but promise me one thing”
“What it is?”
“After I’m gone, please don’t let him be alone. Take his hand and never let him go, ever…”
“I promise, Yuri…” he said softly and wipe away his tears.
“Ryo…”
Ryosuke stunned as heard a voice that he misses so much. He quickly turns around and saw Yuto is standing under the tree. An overwhelmed happiness struck his heart the moment Yuto smile at him. Ryosuke run as fast as he could toward Yuto and wrapped his hands around his waist firmly and the taller replied the hug even tighter.
“Gomen ne, Ryo. You’ve waited for so long.”
“Mou hanaretakunai…zettai ni” Ryosuke snuggles closer into Yuto’s chest. Ryosuke's love for Yuto is still stand strong. Even without his promise with Chinen, he already decided to wait for Yuto to come back to him. He believed in Yuto. He believed in their love. And now, his wait is finally over.
“Ore mo…zutto soba ni itai” Yuto clenches Ryosuke’s head and rest his lips on his bangs. Yuto can never forget about Ryosuke this whole time. Indeed Chinen has opened up his heart again but his love for Ryosuke is irreplaceable. He really glad that Ryosuke loyally waiting for him. Their love is unbreakable after all. Fairytale does exist between Ryosuke and him. Ryosuke is his one and only fairytale love.
“Yuto…”
“Hm?”
“Okaeri…”
“Tadaima…” Yuto looks up at the blue sky and smile brightly.
Tengoku no Yuri,
You don’t have to worry anymore…
Kore kara mo, Ryosuke will always be here with me…
Dakara, daijoubu…
Ore wa shiawase ni naru…
Yuri…even though our time together was short…
I really did love you…
~Owari~
A/n: I really, really lazy to write anything lately, lazy to update Our Fate Made by Mistake also. I wrote this fic to get my writing mood back so maybe you can see my laziness in my writing. I’m gonna rest a little longer until I got my writing mood completely so I can update my fic because I don’t want to write it half-heartedly.
Honto ni gomenasai