It hurts to grow up
Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
I have been struggling to sort out how to go about writing this entry… transforming life into words is a difficult thing sometimes, well, for me it is most times.
It is funny that I do so well on writing assignments or when talking to people… sometimes I catch myself talking about something and in my head I think “wow, I really sound smart, like I know things, like I can contribute something to this conversation…” and then I wonder “where is this all coming from? Is this me? I know I am talking… but where are the words coming from?”
You would think when you have enough people telling you that you are smart and grades that indicate that at the very least you can demonstrate academic intelligence, that you would start to actually believe that you know things, but I find I still feel like I am lacking in intelligence…
Of course I am not genius and I know I am not stupid either… I guess the problem is something I read about not too long ago…
You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.
It is frustrating…
There are lots of things beyond intelligence that are frustrating me too…
There is the:
- time thing
- space thing
- distance thing
- constantly being busy thing
- saying goodbye thing
- endless change thing
- unknown future thing
- relationship thing
- friendship thing
- control thing
- sober life thing
- happiness thing
Basically there are lots of things… that I have been thinking about… entirely too much… and my attempts to not think about these things, do not end well… in that, I don’t stop thinking about things and I usually create more things to think about.
I leave for Florida in 30 hours. I hope I got to say goodbye to you, but if I didn’t know that I am looking forward to saying hello.
I will be living in Tallahassee from January until May. That is the longest time I will have spent living anywhere in the last 3.5 years of my life. I hate moving. This past year has been an especially bad year for moving, in that I did it a lot, 7 times to be exact. I am very much looking forward to living in one spot for a while.
So… now I get to go on another adventure…
I always run away someplace warm in January (and by always I mean I have for the past 2 years), but this year is different because this is the first year that I also feel like I am running to something.
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
I have been struggling to sort out how to go about writing this entry… transforming life into words is a difficult thing sometimes, well, for me it is most times.
It is funny that I do so well on writing assignments or when talking to people… sometimes I catch myself talking about something and in my head I think “wow, I really sound smart, like I know things, like I can contribute something to this conversation…” and then I wonder “where is this all coming from? Is this me? I know I am talking… but where are the words coming from?”
You would think when you have enough people telling you that you are smart and grades that indicate that at the very least you can demonstrate academic intelligence, that you would start to actually believe that you know things, but I find I still feel like I am lacking in intelligence…
Of course I am not genius and I know I am not stupid either… I guess the problem is something I read about not too long ago…
You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.
It is frustrating…
There are lots of things beyond intelligence that are frustrating me too…
There is the:
- time thing
- space thing
- distance thing
- constantly being busy thing
- saying goodbye thing
- endless change thing
- unknown future thing
- relationship thing
- friendship thing
- control thing
- sober life thing
- happiness thing
Basically there are lots of things… that I have been thinking about… entirely too much… and my attempts to not think about these things, do not end well… in that, I don’t stop thinking about things and I usually create more things to think about.
I leave for Florida in 30 hours. I hope I got to say goodbye to you, but if I didn’t know that I am looking forward to saying hello.
I will be living in Tallahassee from January until May. That is the longest time I will have spent living anywhere in the last 3.5 years of my life. I hate moving. This past year has been an especially bad year for moving, in that I did it a lot, 7 times to be exact. I am very much looking forward to living in one spot for a while.
So… now I get to go on another adventure…
I always run away someplace warm in January (and by always I mean I have for the past 2 years), but this year is different because this is the first year that I also feel like I am running to something.