December 2, 2007
I did Lake Superior again last night. The water where the lake meets the beach was slush. It was incredibly cold; just from having my legs in it I felt like I couldn't breathe. So I lay flat and stumbled out. There's no graceful walking when you can't feel your body. Heh. Also, I had an audience. Awkward. lol Amber's headlights were directed right on me, so that was kind of awkward. Me, in a black sports bra and granny panties, making a mad dash into the water and a drunken stagger-type thing out.
I finished my story. I love the ending now, but I don't like the middle. Ugh.
My period started yesterday. I was excited, ecstatic, relieved, and the tiniest, teensiest bit disappointed. Which makes me wonder a lot of things. Luke definitely isn't ready for a kid, and I'm pretty sure I'm not either. But I don't know if I could have gotten an abortion or given it up for adoption. Scary stuff, considering I always assumed that if I got pregnant before I finished college, I'd get an abortion.
I'm going to try to eat healthy-ish today. We'll see how that goes.
I have the weirdest cacophony of emotions inside me right now. Elation, disappointment, excitement, and grief. I'm not even sure how those can co-exist without my head exploding. Hell, I'm not even sure what all of those feelings are from. Tricky, tricky.