All good things continue
So it's the end of summer entry--
The sky is rumbling tonight, and it wasn't fireworks. Somewher in the east bay there are scattered thunderstorms, and it's freezing in the city. It was just like 80 degrees during the day!
I try so hard to connect with Kristy at work, but she's so fast to move out of conversations. I like to blame it on Wesleyan. Well, I'm also fast to make convo's pretty interpersonal and all that jazzy activisty-style of talk too, I'm a sucker for thinking the world should just be better like that. And Cindy is so fucking cool, and she went to SF State, yay! And my supervisor Heather, I am infatuated with her freckles. the only thing better than my hairy forearms would be her freckled forearms, they're so neat.
Hanging out with that fool Chucky over the past week is totally bringing out the gay boy in me. I love it. I strive to be as femme/girly/etc. as I can be.
I'm doing better at work, it's definitely challenging. I am happy I didn't end up as a case manager because I do like being in the main office most of the time.
(when will i be more poetic in my journal entries?)
WHAT I LEARNED THIS SUMMER:
1) Let people be who they are. I know I am good at determining where people are at and what they could do to be at a better place (we all hurt and have shit to deal with), but I have learned that sometimes I gotta let them learn and fail and live through shit and be alright with all that!
2) I am good with my hands and fingers. (and I have model hands!)
3) I love being less macho. I do like boys.
4) I am fucking good political organizer|activist. I'm all about building power with people and don't let the pretenders get to me. My heart has guided me very far. I will be back in the scene soon enough. NO MORE HIBERNATING!
5) Soul needs to meet Body. I've abused my body physically and emotionally. That stops (thank you Suj for trying to be supportive).
6) My anxiety needs to be dealt with, too many friends I don't get back to out of bogus fears that they're mad at me or are gonna have great expectations of me.
7) My depression is ending, I can feel it. I need to stop thinking that other people should reach into my heart, and start doing it myself.
Kingdoms come, and kingdoms fall in October. Cannot wait for Halloween!
The sky is rumbling tonight, and it wasn't fireworks. Somewher in the east bay there are scattered thunderstorms, and it's freezing in the city. It was just like 80 degrees during the day!
I try so hard to connect with Kristy at work, but she's so fast to move out of conversations. I like to blame it on Wesleyan. Well, I'm also fast to make convo's pretty interpersonal and all that jazzy activisty-style of talk too, I'm a sucker for thinking the world should just be better like that. And Cindy is so fucking cool, and she went to SF State, yay! And my supervisor Heather, I am infatuated with her freckles. the only thing better than my hairy forearms would be her freckled forearms, they're so neat.
Hanging out with that fool Chucky over the past week is totally bringing out the gay boy in me. I love it. I strive to be as femme/girly/etc. as I can be.
I'm doing better at work, it's definitely challenging. I am happy I didn't end up as a case manager because I do like being in the main office most of the time.
(when will i be more poetic in my journal entries?)
WHAT I LEARNED THIS SUMMER:
1) Let people be who they are. I know I am good at determining where people are at and what they could do to be at a better place (we all hurt and have shit to deal with), but I have learned that sometimes I gotta let them learn and fail and live through shit and be alright with all that!
2) I am good with my hands and fingers. (and I have model hands!)
3) I love being less macho. I do like boys.
4) I am fucking good political organizer|activist. I'm all about building power with people and don't let the pretenders get to me. My heart has guided me very far. I will be back in the scene soon enough. NO MORE HIBERNATING!
5) Soul needs to meet Body. I've abused my body physically and emotionally. That stops (thank you Suj for trying to be supportive).
6) My anxiety needs to be dealt with, too many friends I don't get back to out of bogus fears that they're mad at me or are gonna have great expectations of me.
7) My depression is ending, I can feel it. I need to stop thinking that other people should reach into my heart, and start doing it myself.
Kingdoms come, and kingdoms fall in October. Cannot wait for Halloween!