I lost myself
After working10 hours i realived i hadnt eaten and by that time i had such a head ache i couldnt eat....also im a little upset from things.. so i decide to go out to clear my head even though i felt horible.. me and tribs went to get coffee i about threw it up... I think i should have heeded the warnings on the medication i took...dont ingest caffine, dont take on empty stomack. and a few others that aplied. i ended up feeling drunk walking around the dirtfest. saw a bunch of poeple i knew..for good and bad. saw hayley from a distance but she was walking away so i know she had to of walked right by me but i didnt c her, im glad i didnt c her then cus i probably would have said something and im not sure how her mom would react. it realy bothers me that i have to act that way.. but even if her mom wasnt the way i think she is im not sure i would have wanted to say ne thing cus my state of mind is screwed...a few people asked me if i was drunk or high then i guy asked to buy drugs from me..so i didnt just feel messed up i looked it too. i dont watn people seeing me that way... i guess too late huh.. but ne way back to that...hayley text me and i got happy..then sad.. then i got off work talked to her on her...got happy then sad then happy ...then sad i hate bad situation...AHHHH.. then threw up from head and nerves mixed....got nervous that she wants to end things but not sure if i have a reason to feel that...i mean she asked me if i did and that upset me..
i feel like im writing in loops like a bad movie written all scewed..(remind u of jackie brown lol) Im not happy bout ne thing right now but im not exactly mad about TOO much either. i need to breathe..... metaphoricaly..... and i guess literaly too, i mean id die if i just stopped...
u cant use tab when writing an entry...hhhmmm
i want to get away from problems for a while spend time with hayley. time is nice when its spent w/ her....i guess i miss when things were like that... as things go PRISONER OF CIRCUMSTANCES....i choose to be here in this position but only bcause i cant change it and dont want to leave...her id leave almost every thing else ..well not true i have good friends and my niece wich i love. ok well if i could run away w/ my niece and hayley ...I saw my niece today i was soo happpy...krissy was on the pourch and i was mowing so i had alexis come give me a hug and i held her for a moment i had no problems of faults with my life....as u can tell i love my niece. if i could id go c her every day but i hate the way my sister is treating my mom who has gone pchycotic...how ever thats spelled..
damn tab thing again AHHH
saw donovan tonight havent talked to him in a while...yeah his bud mike was getting trashed tonight big surprise now i know y i dont talk to him much ne more..
man my head hurts think i ended up in the hospital last time it was this bad...yeah probably.
Im talking to hayley happy sad happy sad loopty loop i like it accept the sad part but im talking to her so its not sad...she makes me have that good feeling inside...
Im gonna quit typing cus i realize ive been at this a while...and not sure what ive typed oh well
i feel like im writing in loops like a bad movie written all scewed..(remind u of jackie brown lol) Im not happy bout ne thing right now but im not exactly mad about TOO much either. i need to breathe..... metaphoricaly..... and i guess literaly too, i mean id die if i just stopped...
u cant use tab when writing an entry...hhhmmm
i want to get away from problems for a while spend time with hayley. time is nice when its spent w/ her....i guess i miss when things were like that... as things go PRISONER OF CIRCUMSTANCES....i choose to be here in this position but only bcause i cant change it and dont want to leave...her id leave almost every thing else ..well not true i have good friends and my niece wich i love. ok well if i could run away w/ my niece and hayley ...I saw my niece today i was soo happpy...krissy was on the pourch and i was mowing so i had alexis come give me a hug and i held her for a moment i had no problems of faults with my life....as u can tell i love my niece. if i could id go c her every day but i hate the way my sister is treating my mom who has gone pchycotic...how ever thats spelled..
damn tab thing again AHHH
saw donovan tonight havent talked to him in a while...yeah his bud mike was getting trashed tonight big surprise now i know y i dont talk to him much ne more..
man my head hurts think i ended up in the hospital last time it was this bad...yeah probably.
Im talking to hayley happy sad happy sad loopty loop i like it accept the sad part but im talking to her so its not sad...she makes me have that good feeling inside...
Im gonna quit typing cus i realize ive been at this a while...and not sure what ive typed oh well