(no subject)
I have a lot of problems that are developing into my greatest insecurities...
I wish I coud just feel like I was on the same page with everyone else in life
I'm slow.
I'm going to be honest with you. I don't like living here...
Last night I had a dream, it was in my old old house and my mother was asking me to do stuff for her... apparently we were renting out the place as a bed and breakfast and i was totally oposed to the idea... anyway she was asking me to rearrange and clean her room for her and her boyfriend... i spent the whole day working on the most creative arrangement and the only thing my mom could do when she saw it was yell at me and move everything i had spent so long placing.... i started acting like a baby and balling my eyes out and she told me to grow up.... i got angry and started punching walls... and then my mom called the cops on me... while i was in jail i broke free and made a great escape adventure on to a plane headed to ireland... in ireland I was was reunited with coco... then some strange faminy i never knew exsisted... and we all lived happily in a small clay hut that somehow developed back into that old old house.
it was strange the parellels that dream had to my current emotions.
I've been missing a lot of people from my past it's quite strange... 5 days to leaders school... holy fuck. 4 days of camp left.
I am a very behind girl in ife... i just want to be on track.
Things that need to get done.
*Get senior pictures taken someway... by someone...
*Get my freaking IEP test and take the freaking SATs
*visiting colleges
*learning how to get to the school
*find out where to get my missing reports from Gabe.
*find a job for the school year.
*learn how to distinguish and cope with human emotion. Especially the L word that I am so afraid of and am not sure if I'm feeling.
Going back to school should be good cause I will be able to surround myself with some good people of PVPA.
I really hope that i will be able to do work and be smart and not struggle so much... senior year... fuck yeah.
I need some one to motivate me and help me. I need help to keep on keeping on.
So lost.
to live... to live would be a great adventure.
BANGARANG
I wish I coud just feel like I was on the same page with everyone else in life
I'm slow.
I'm going to be honest with you. I don't like living here...
Last night I had a dream, it was in my old old house and my mother was asking me to do stuff for her... apparently we were renting out the place as a bed and breakfast and i was totally oposed to the idea... anyway she was asking me to rearrange and clean her room for her and her boyfriend... i spent the whole day working on the most creative arrangement and the only thing my mom could do when she saw it was yell at me and move everything i had spent so long placing.... i started acting like a baby and balling my eyes out and she told me to grow up.... i got angry and started punching walls... and then my mom called the cops on me... while i was in jail i broke free and made a great escape adventure on to a plane headed to ireland... in ireland I was was reunited with coco... then some strange faminy i never knew exsisted... and we all lived happily in a small clay hut that somehow developed back into that old old house.
it was strange the parellels that dream had to my current emotions.
I've been missing a lot of people from my past it's quite strange... 5 days to leaders school... holy fuck. 4 days of camp left.
I am a very behind girl in ife... i just want to be on track.
Things that need to get done.
*Get senior pictures taken someway... by someone...
*Get my freaking IEP test and take the freaking SATs
*visiting colleges
*learning how to get to the school
*find out where to get my missing reports from Gabe.
*find a job for the school year.
*learn how to distinguish and cope with human emotion. Especially the L word that I am so afraid of and am not sure if I'm feeling.
Going back to school should be good cause I will be able to surround myself with some good people of PVPA.
I really hope that i will be able to do work and be smart and not struggle so much... senior year... fuck yeah.
I need some one to motivate me and help me. I need help to keep on keeping on.
So lost.
to live... to live would be a great adventure.
BANGARANG