(no subject)
Title: To Die
Story: Tempus Edax Rerum
Characters: Moira
Flavours: Pumpkin Pie #9 [Cobwebs]; Rocky Road #7 [Holy place]
Toppings: Rainbow Sprinkles; Cherry on Top [First Person POV]
Extras: N/A
Word count: 535
Rating: PG
Summary: Occasionally, when I wake up, my mind is clear.
Notes: Two posts in one day, and I am finally caught up with pumpkin pie. Phew! Now let's see if I can keep it up the rest of the month... *is doubtful*.
Occasionally, when I wake up, my mind is clear.
This only happens very rarely; I do not know what makes it come about, only that these are the moments I need to treasure.
They do not come about often.
I need to treasure this.
When it happens today - August fourth, eight twenty-four in the morning - I leave the building and go to the church.
It is only five minutes away and I know the episodes last longer than that. I will last longer than that.
I can hold her off.
I can beat her.
I did not choose this.
The door is heavy but its weight is a familiar one; the wood is comforting and smooth against the tips of my fingers. It has been a long time since I have come to a place such as this. She will not
let me
come here
be afraid.
I sit in one of the pews near the front and bow my head. The church smells like summer and dust and I can see the faded colours of the prayer cushion on the ground behind my feet.
I can do nothing but think here, but in the end, that is all I want to do. We have lived too long, we three, far too long. There are still laws. Still rules.
Mine are different.
I gave up so much more.
And can I die, after all of that? Her murderer will not kill me, but would it matter?
I only want my mind back.
We were chosen for this. Not by people, not by people so cruel as to make us- By fate, I suppose. I look up at the cross that hangs on the wall, its mere presence an accusing one to me. I know more about death than any one person should know
I love death
but it does not mean that I do not find comfort here, in this place with its cold grey walls and stark windows.
I am still human
I do not know if she is.
Moira, Maurtia, Thanatos, Yamaraj, Ankou, Yanluo, Azra'il
Death
Death.
I can feel her there. I know very well that her presence is not a malicious one, but I believe that I am the only one who knows
she is me and I am her
because how can she not take joy in the only thing she has ever known? She
and I
understand more about - the end of things - than many others could even dream of. We have to.
It is inevitable.
For everyone.
But I do not know if it will end the same way for us
me she I
because, can it?
That is the question I ask myself, every time. Every time her presence begins to expand, every time she decides that it is enough, that I have come back to myself and restored my own sanity for long enough-
Every time I feel Dionne and Nora come searching
It's never, can I kill myself? - for though I dislike this existence, I do not know that I would choose another.
could not would not must not
stay
But
is it possible
really
Can a person kill death?
Story: Tempus Edax Rerum
Characters: Moira
Flavours: Pumpkin Pie #9 [Cobwebs]; Rocky Road #7 [Holy place]
Toppings: Rainbow Sprinkles; Cherry on Top [First Person POV]
Extras: N/A
Word count: 535
Rating: PG
Summary: Occasionally, when I wake up, my mind is clear.
Notes: Two posts in one day, and I am finally caught up with pumpkin pie. Phew! Now let's see if I can keep it up the rest of the month... *is doubtful*.
Occasionally, when I wake up, my mind is clear.
This only happens very rarely; I do not know what makes it come about, only that these are the moments I need to treasure.
They do not come about often.
I need to treasure this.
When it happens today - August fourth, eight twenty-four in the morning - I leave the building and go to the church.
It is only five minutes away and I know the episodes last longer than that. I will last longer than that.
I can hold her off.
I can beat her.
I did not choose this.
The door is heavy but its weight is a familiar one; the wood is comforting and smooth against the tips of my fingers. It has been a long time since I have come to a place such as this. She will not
let me
come here
be afraid.
I sit in one of the pews near the front and bow my head. The church smells like summer and dust and I can see the faded colours of the prayer cushion on the ground behind my feet.
I can do nothing but think here, but in the end, that is all I want to do. We have lived too long, we three, far too long. There are still laws. Still rules.
Mine are different.
I gave up so much more.
And can I die, after all of that? Her murderer will not kill me, but would it matter?
I only want my mind back.
We were chosen for this. Not by people, not by people so cruel as to make us- By fate, I suppose. I look up at the cross that hangs on the wall, its mere presence an accusing one to me. I know more about death than any one person should know
I love death
but it does not mean that I do not find comfort here, in this place with its cold grey walls and stark windows.
I am still human
I do not know if she is.
Moira, Maurtia, Thanatos, Yamaraj, Ankou, Yanluo, Azra'il
Death
Death.
I can feel her there. I know very well that her presence is not a malicious one, but I believe that I am the only one who knows
she is me and I am her
because how can she not take joy in the only thing she has ever known? She
and I
understand more about - the end of things - than many others could even dream of. We have to.
It is inevitable.
For everyone.
But I do not know if it will end the same way for us
me she I
because, can it?
That is the question I ask myself, every time. Every time her presence begins to expand, every time she decides that it is enough, that I have come back to myself and restored my own sanity for long enough-
Every time I feel Dionne and Nora come searching
It's never, can I kill myself? - for though I dislike this existence, I do not know that I would choose another.
could not would not must not
stay
But
is it possible
really
Can a person kill death?