Blue Raspberry 8, Poached Pear 2: Everybody's A Winner
Title: Everybody's A Winner
Main Story: In the Heart and Phase
Flavors and Toppings: Blue raspberry 8 (a wager), poached pear 2 (kiss & tell), malt (bassair's trick or treat: rainbow pride), milkshake, chopped nuts (Nikki's Butterfly Effect AU).
Word Count: 571
Rating: PG-13 for discussion of sexual acts and one f-bomb.
Summary: Ivy and Angie have a race.
Notes: I saw this SFW photo, and then Ivy and Angie popped up and were all, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED." Approved by Nikki.
By the time Aaron found his sister, she was leaning on the bar and frowning over a picture, tapping a pen against her lips.
"Hey, Vee," he said, and slung an arm around her shoulder. "Whatcha got there?"
"My new to-do list," she said, and handed him the photograph.
Aaron frowned at the image of two men making out in front of a man in a sandwichboard sign that had probably been produced by the Westboro Baptist Church, and said, "What?"
"Angie and I are racing," Ivy explained, taking the photograph back. She tapped her pen against the sign. "So far I've fornicated, been homosexual, masturbated, lied, voted for Obama, rapped--"
"You have not rapped," Aaron interrupted, signalling the bartender. The bit about masturbation required a drink. "I've heard you. That isn't even noise."
She rolled her eyes. "For the purposes of going to hell, I've rapped. Gotten drunk, been a feminist, a democrat, a liberal, an evolutionst, and an atheist, and I've been way immodest. That's thirteen, but Angie's been a thief and a dirty dancer, so she's two ahead of me. I've got to catch up here. You know anywhere I could get some pot?"
"No," he said. "Absolutely not. I refuse to be your pot hookup." He took his beer from the bartender and had a swallow.
Ivy arched an eyebrow and set her chin in her hand, looking fascinated. "So you do know where I could get some pot."
"I went to NYU," he told her. "Of course I know where you can get some pot. That doesn't mean I'm going to tell you."
"Damn," Ivy said, and went back to the list. "I guess I could go for thief next."
It was Aaron's turn to arch an eyebrow. "You've never stolen anything? Seriously?"
She swiped his beer out of his hand, downed a healthy slug, and gave it back. "Well, I have now. Fourteen!"
"Ivy," he said, "why are you racing Angie in anything?"
She shrugged, checking off "thief." "Because we both got sick of seeing this douche or others like him outside our favorite bars. And by favorite bars I really mean her and Danny's favorite bars, but I come along sometimes. Anyway, we decided to race, see who gets all twenty first. Winner gets to make out with her immodestly-dressed girlfriend in front of him."
He blinked for a moment. "What does the loser do?"
"Dresses immodestly and makes out with her girlfriend in front of him." Ivy grinned. "And if we tie, Gina and Rayne make out in front of him. So basically everyone wins."
"Ah." He didn't bother asking if they'd run that by Gina and Rayne first, since this was Ivy, and leaned over, squinting at the list again. "How are you planning to get through the religions?"
She shrugged. "I figure I'll convert for a day. Can't be that hard."
"I'm pretty sure it is," he said. "And also I'm pretty sure that you have to be born into Hinduism. You can't convert."
"I'll think of something," Ivy said. "Ooh, sodomy."
"Oh, Lord," Aaron said.
She turned on her stool and prodded Gina. "Babe, what are your feelings on strap-ons?"
"We shop together and we get lube," Gina said, without missing a beat. "And I wear it the first time."
"I fucking love you," Ivy told her, then turned back to Aaron. "You think Joy would teach me to poledance?"
Main Story: In the Heart and Phase
Flavors and Toppings: Blue raspberry 8 (a wager), poached pear 2 (kiss & tell), malt (bassair's trick or treat: rainbow pride), milkshake, chopped nuts (Nikki's Butterfly Effect AU).
Word Count: 571
Rating: PG-13 for discussion of sexual acts and one f-bomb.
Summary: Ivy and Angie have a race.
Notes: I saw this SFW photo, and then Ivy and Angie popped up and were all, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED." Approved by Nikki.
By the time Aaron found his sister, she was leaning on the bar and frowning over a picture, tapping a pen against her lips.
"Hey, Vee," he said, and slung an arm around her shoulder. "Whatcha got there?"
"My new to-do list," she said, and handed him the photograph.
Aaron frowned at the image of two men making out in front of a man in a sandwichboard sign that had probably been produced by the Westboro Baptist Church, and said, "What?"
"Angie and I are racing," Ivy explained, taking the photograph back. She tapped her pen against the sign. "So far I've fornicated, been homosexual, masturbated, lied, voted for Obama, rapped--"
"You have not rapped," Aaron interrupted, signalling the bartender. The bit about masturbation required a drink. "I've heard you. That isn't even noise."
She rolled her eyes. "For the purposes of going to hell, I've rapped. Gotten drunk, been a feminist, a democrat, a liberal, an evolutionst, and an atheist, and I've been way immodest. That's thirteen, but Angie's been a thief and a dirty dancer, so she's two ahead of me. I've got to catch up here. You know anywhere I could get some pot?"
"No," he said. "Absolutely not. I refuse to be your pot hookup." He took his beer from the bartender and had a swallow.
Ivy arched an eyebrow and set her chin in her hand, looking fascinated. "So you do know where I could get some pot."
"I went to NYU," he told her. "Of course I know where you can get some pot. That doesn't mean I'm going to tell you."
"Damn," Ivy said, and went back to the list. "I guess I could go for thief next."
It was Aaron's turn to arch an eyebrow. "You've never stolen anything? Seriously?"
She swiped his beer out of his hand, downed a healthy slug, and gave it back. "Well, I have now. Fourteen!"
"Ivy," he said, "why are you racing Angie in anything?"
She shrugged, checking off "thief." "Because we both got sick of seeing this douche or others like him outside our favorite bars. And by favorite bars I really mean her and Danny's favorite bars, but I come along sometimes. Anyway, we decided to race, see who gets all twenty first. Winner gets to make out with her immodestly-dressed girlfriend in front of him."
He blinked for a moment. "What does the loser do?"
"Dresses immodestly and makes out with her girlfriend in front of him." Ivy grinned. "And if we tie, Gina and Rayne make out in front of him. So basically everyone wins."
"Ah." He didn't bother asking if they'd run that by Gina and Rayne first, since this was Ivy, and leaned over, squinting at the list again. "How are you planning to get through the religions?"
She shrugged. "I figure I'll convert for a day. Can't be that hard."
"I'm pretty sure it is," he said. "And also I'm pretty sure that you have to be born into Hinduism. You can't convert."
"I'll think of something," Ivy said. "Ooh, sodomy."
"Oh, Lord," Aaron said.
She turned on her stool and prodded Gina. "Babe, what are your feelings on strap-ons?"
"We shop together and we get lube," Gina said, without missing a beat. "And I wear it the first time."
"I fucking love you," Ivy told her, then turned back to Aaron. "You think Joy would teach me to poledance?"