Comments | runaway_tales: Butter Pecan 16, Strawberry 12

smoothiegarten in runaway_tales

Butter Pecan 16, Strawberry 12

Feb 19, 2011 08:17

Author: Marina
Story: Shifts universe (post-Shifts)
Challenge: Butter Pecan 16 (wet), Strawberry 12 (wheel)
Toppings/Extras: Caramel, Sprinkles, Malt (pfah - wheel : Oriana : help is on the way)
Word Count: 1,367
Rating: PG
Summary: Oriana meets Dr. Charles Brightman.
Notes: Happy Valentine’s Day Saturday! This post is brought to you by insomnia ( Read more... )

[author] marina, [topping] sprinkles, [extra] malt, [topping] caramel, [challenge] butter pecan, [challenge] strawberry

Comments 10

ninablues February 19 2011, 19:59:18 UTC

Connor seems like a sweet kid! I think you did a good job with the dialogue especially-- it was really natural. And Oriana and Eleazar being their usual selves at the end brightened it considerably. :D

smoothiegarten February 21 2011, 05:13:23 UTC

I LOVE him and am looking forward to writing more. Thanks! Dialogue is my favorite part of writing and I've been paying extra attention to making it realistic and not stilted so I'm glad it's paying off. :D

kay_brooke February 19 2011, 23:57:04 UTC

Haha, Oriana's discomfort at referring to her brother as Dr. Kopen. The conversation between her and Connor was sweet.

smoothiegarten February 21 2011, 05:13:45 UTC

She's just saying that to push his buttons at this point :D Thank you so much!

niee87 February 20 2011, 01:15:29 UTC

Connor is adorable and must meet the twins ASAP! I like the little hints you put to the Brightmans being divorced. Also, Elie as Dr. Kopen rocks, especially with Ori's distaste of it. Charles FTW! (Or, as Mariah is telling me: Charlie-poo!)

smoothiegarten February 21 2011, 05:14:42 UTC

This will happen! I dunno if I'm going to be able to do much more of this storyline with Strawberry but I will get to it ASAP and of course we can have him meet the twins. I'm glad you liked iiiit :D LOL MARIAH.

bookblather February 20 2011, 04:59:41 UTC

I agree with everyone else that Connor is adorable and that Oriana treated him really well for an adult. Also, adored her conversation with Eleazar: so sisterly. Great job.

smoothiegarten February 21 2011, 05:15:51 UTC

Thank you! I'm enjoying Connor so far--this piece turned out to be a lot more about him than I expected. Oriana and Eleazar are always fun, too.

nathskywalker February 24 2011, 15:19:07 UTC

So she found herself a possible love interest? That's good. She deserves it after everything she's been through and it's really fun to see that in the end, she goes back to theater, even if it's not in the same capabilities as when she was in middle school.

Her conversation with Connor came off as very real and the tuba incident made me laugh. My boyfriend is in a brass band and when they play while marching (in February / March in a crazy tradition to scare the winter ghosts away) the tubas and other instruments with big openings will be covered with these nets so that nothing ends up in them and because it's only these cloth nets or something, it doesn't affect the sound quality.

smoothiegarten February 25 2011, 00:57:06 UTC

She has! I actually originally meant this piece to be much more about that but ended up falling in love with Connor and wanting to show that Oriana's come a long way in the ten years since Shifts ended (and, well, since middle school). Casey's been bothering me about this storyline so there will be more as soon as I have prompts for it.

I was in marching band in high school as well! We never did that though I'm thinking we should have--that sounds like a great way to help keep the instruments from getting damaged and still preserve the tone quality. :D