Butter Pecan 25, Strawberry 13, FOTD

[smoothiegarten]

Author: Marina
Story: Shifts universe (Shifts)
Challenge: Butter Pecan 25 (tight), Strawberry 13 (smoke), FOTD (imbroglio)
Toppings/Extras: Cherry (first person), Sprinkles, Brownie, Malt (smoke : Oriana, Rand : we always knew you was a whoopsie), Peaches (Discretion is the word for today. Any lack of it causes trouble), Pineapple (This one goes

Comments

[ninablues]

What a complicated series of events! Good use of the "imbroglio" prompt. XD At the same time though, it's helped me to get my head around a lot of the Shifts-verse stuff and how they're linked and what's going on. I think Rand's voice was really well done; the frustration and slight feeling of helplessness came through to me particularly.

I loved how they all interacted and-- as always-- the twins win my heart forever. Nice one!

[smoothiegarten]

LOL I had actually been working on it for a few days and when I saw the FOTD for Friday I decided I had to finish in time to claim it (and all the astonishingly appropriate fresh fruit as well) because it just worked so well! I'm glad it helped you work out some things. This is probably the section of story that does that best, though this isn't everything. I have never written Rand in first person before so I'm glad his voice was well done (he's one of the easier characters to write in third).

The twins should always have that effect. :D Thanks so much!

[bookblather]

Whoa. Well, that... actually clears up a lot of questions that I had, although I fully sympathize with Rand's frustration and annoyance with both Lynne and his circumstances. Not learning all of that must have been thoroughly obnoxious. Great job.

[smoothiegarten]

YAY! I was really hoping it would explain some things. Casey and I should definitely have written more main story a lot sooner but we happen to find the Caramel period fascinating at the moment. ^^; The whole thing really was obnoxious for him, though he feels a lot better about it now that it's all in the open. Thank you so much!

[kay_brooke]

Wow, there was a lot of information in that piece. Everyone's frustration and shortness with each other was well done. I hope they all keep their promise not to keep secrets anymore.

[smoothiegarten]

Thank you! All three are going to do their best. There's a serious information dump here but I do hope it cleared things up rather than making everything more complicated.

[niee87]

So, um, this is awesome. The end.

:P just kidding!

Okay, so I love Rand's POV and this makes me certain we now much include it. (It also gives us room to not always go in order with POVs either so we can eliminate some overlap). Love the description of breaking the mind control and as I said, I'm plainly obsolete now. Let me know when you're done with Draft 2 ;) The banter at the end made me giggle because they DO know Drew really well, but it was also sort of sobering since it doesn't REALLY go down like that *pats poor Drewkins* Rand really does have a tough time in this draft but I like the dynamic it adds because there are plenty of places we can work a small distrust about whether Rand is finally telling the truth with Grayson and Lynne later if we want. It can also give us a nice dimension to play with in regards to when we first tell some things. You did a good job with the info dump without overdoing it too!

[smoothiegarten]

You shush :P

Rand was hard to get into, but I think from now on it'll be good, too. I'm glad the description of breaking the mind control worked, too! And everything, really, since I was kind of wading into uncharted territory with this as you know. :D Oh boy, it really does give us a bunch of new options. Wonderful, we shall have to continue with this. I'm so glad you liked it! :D