A Long Life (But One Worth Living): Chapter Seven
Title: A Long Life (But One Worth Living)
Author/Artist:
rumpelsnorcack
Rating: PG-13
Characters & Pairings: This chapter: Rory/OC
Word Count: 1356 this chapter
Summary: The story of Rory's life, from meeting Amy to death.
Notes: .Many thanks to the wonderful
a_phoenixdragon and
mollywheezy who have been extremely supportive through this whole process. I've been writing this on and off for a while. It's still not finished, but is getting there. Not sure how many chapters there will be, but each one is intended as a short one-shot in its own right so all can be read independently. However, they do all build together to give a picture of Rory's life, complicated timelines and all. It's all roughly chronological, but each piece doesn't necessarily exist in the same timeline as each other piece. So some are pre-reboot, some post, some exist in a universe which includes Mels, others don't.
Disclaimer: Sadly none of the characters are mine, I just enjoy hanging around in their sandbox.
‘I really enjoyed myself today, Rory,’ Jane said shyly as she slipped her hand into his. They were walking along beside the river after having dinner at a nearby restaurant. Rory had asked her out on impulse at class one day because he had really enjoyed getting to know her and had found her gentle personality something of a refuge after a whirlwind day with Amy. He’d been nervous, mostly because - as stupid as it was - he felt it was a betrayal of his feelings for Amy. But Amy had made it clear she didn’t see him as anything other than a friend and Rory felt like it was time to move on. Not from her friendship, obviously, and any woman he had a relationship with would need to understand how much Amy meant to him. But he couldn’t keep pining for his best friend forever.
Rory glanced sideways at Jane and smiled. Her eyes were fixed firmly on the ground and a pink blush stained her cheeks.
‘I did too,’ he admitted. He had thought this might be difficult, that speaking to her outside class might be stilted and awkward. It hadn’t been. They had talked, laughed and shared jokes. The food had gone cold on the table between them as they ignored it in favour of getting to know each other.
She smiled up at him then leaned her head on his arm, the top of her head barely reaching his shoulder. As her head rested against him her hand twisted slightly in his and Rory felt a sudden swoop in the pit of his stomach. He stopped walking. Jane pulled back and looked up at him in concerned query. He bent down and captured her lips with his own. The swoop blossomed into a warmth that exploded out through his chest as she slipped her arms around his waist and kissed him back. After a few minutes he straightened up, reluctantly, as his back protested the height difference between them, but leaving his arms still looped around her back.
‘That was nice,’ she said, her eyes crinkling.
‘Yeah it was,’ he said. ‘I don’t want this to end. Should we … walk more?’ He gestured towards the path they had been walking. The evening was getting cooler and the sun had started to set, coating the greenery around them in a warm glow and casting a purple tone over the nearby buildings.
‘We could walk more or we could go somewhere more … private.’ The blush was back on Jane’s cheeks but she was looking him firmly in the eye. It hadn’t occurred to Rory to take her home, but he didn’t need to be asked twice. What better way to put Amy firmly out of his mind than by sleeping with someone else? Pushing aside the knowledge that this was extremely unfair to Jane, who seemed to genuinely like him, Rory gulped and nodded. He took her hand again and led her back to his car.
‘Should we go to my place, then? She asked. ‘It’s just it’s a bit closer than yours.’
‘Sure,’ Rory agreed without hesitation. Her place sounded good - much less chance there of running into Amy or anyone who might mention this to her. Rory didn’t know how he felt about Jane, but he was strangely reluctant to let anyone know about this moment. He had an idea that Amy wouldn’t react very well, though why that would be he wasn’t quite sure.
As they drove off, Rory’s favourite song came on the CD player. He hummed along guiltily - this was the album he and Amy had chosen together, the one she always teased him about because it was much heavier than anything else he listened to. The song even reminded him painfully of Amy: ‘she is the butcher, she wants the air, she hides the scars under her hair’ - Amy definitely had scars on top of metaphorical scars that she carefully hid from the world. Jane was silent beside him and he glanced over at her.
‘You alright?’ he asked.
‘Yeah, just thinking.’ She said. She was silent for a few moments, then added, ‘I don’t usually do this … not this soon, I mean.’
‘No. Me too. I mean, I don’t either.’ Rory stammered. In fact, he’d never done this at all, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Did you just blurt this sort of thing out? Like … ‘hey, this is my first time with a woman, be gentle with me’? It seemed somewhat shameful that he’d gotten to this age without having sex with someone. At that thought, terror gripped him and his hands slid on the steering wheel. He certainly hadn’t been expecting this when he asked the shy nursing student to go on a date with him; he’d had no time to plan or work himself up to this.
‘It’s just …’ Jane stopped and took a breath and he glanced over at her. ‘I really like you, Rory. I noticed you right from the first day in class and I’ve been really glad we got to know each other better. You’re a really nice guy - a keeper, my Gran used to say.’
Guilt twisted in Rory’s heart. It sounded like Jane expected something long term but Rory wasn’t sure what he wanted. He was having a very pleasant time with Jane, and kissing her was certainly very nice, but he didn’t feel like this was someone he’d be spending the rest of his life with and it seemed distinctly unfair to go into this knowing he was still caught up in Amy and knowing he was unlikely to be with Jane long term. Obviously Rory knew, from discussions with other guys, that sex didn’t have to be about forever but he did feel that maybe it would be fairer for someone like Jane if he was honest with her.
They pulled up outside her house and he quickly shut the engine off. In the sudden silence Rory made up his mind.
‘Jane, look. I’ve not been entirely honest with you.’ He carefully avoided looking at her but he could feel her eyes on him. ‘I’m not experienced. I mean … I haven’t …’ He shrugged uncomfortably. ‘And I’m not even sure how I feel about all this, I mean about me … and you’ he waved his hands between them, trying to illustrate whatever it was that was sitting between them. He bit his lip and risked looking at her again. ‘Look, if you want to tell me to bugger off, I understand.’
Jane laughed, the sound a little bitter. ‘It sounds like you’re the one who wants to bugger off.’
‘No. No, I don’t. I’m just … not used to this. I’m not sure what to do …’ he trailed off miserably, thinking of how much easier this would be with Amy. For a start she’d be taking charge, not sitting back and waiting for him to make the move. He reminded himself that Amy didn’t want him and Jane did. She liked him, she’d never insulted him and they had a lot in common. Why not see if this could become ‘something’? They had fun together, after all, and if he was going to forget Amy he had to start somewhere. Just because he wasn’t madly in love right now, that didn’t mean he couldn’t grow into it and Jane was the type of woman his dad was always telling him he should be looking for. Nice, sensible and stable. The message had always been clear even though never articulated: not someone like Amy, not someone impulsive, unpredictable, and flashy.
Determined to stop thinking of Amy, Rory leaned over and kissed Jane again.
‘That’s a good start,’ she whispered a few minutes later as they pulled apart, breathless. ‘Come on, let’s go inside. It’s getting cold out here.’
Rory nodded and allowed her to twine her fingers with his as they walked up to the door. He still wasn’t sure what he wanted out of this, but he was willing to try to make it work.
Prologue
Author/Artist:
rumpelsnorcack
Rating: PG-13
Characters & Pairings: This chapter: Rory/OC
Word Count: 1356 this chapter
Summary: The story of Rory's life, from meeting Amy to death.
Notes: .Many thanks to the wonderful
a_phoenixdragon and
mollywheezy who have been extremely supportive through this whole process. I've been writing this on and off for a while. It's still not finished, but is getting there. Not sure how many chapters there will be, but each one is intended as a short one-shot in its own right so all can be read independently. However, they do all build together to give a picture of Rory's life, complicated timelines and all. It's all roughly chronological, but each piece doesn't necessarily exist in the same timeline as each other piece. So some are pre-reboot, some post, some exist in a universe which includes Mels, others don't.
Disclaimer: Sadly none of the characters are mine, I just enjoy hanging around in their sandbox.
‘I really enjoyed myself today, Rory,’ Jane said shyly as she slipped her hand into his. They were walking along beside the river after having dinner at a nearby restaurant. Rory had asked her out on impulse at class one day because he had really enjoyed getting to know her and had found her gentle personality something of a refuge after a whirlwind day with Amy. He’d been nervous, mostly because - as stupid as it was - he felt it was a betrayal of his feelings for Amy. But Amy had made it clear she didn’t see him as anything other than a friend and Rory felt like it was time to move on. Not from her friendship, obviously, and any woman he had a relationship with would need to understand how much Amy meant to him. But he couldn’t keep pining for his best friend forever.
Rory glanced sideways at Jane and smiled. Her eyes were fixed firmly on the ground and a pink blush stained her cheeks.
‘I did too,’ he admitted. He had thought this might be difficult, that speaking to her outside class might be stilted and awkward. It hadn’t been. They had talked, laughed and shared jokes. The food had gone cold on the table between them as they ignored it in favour of getting to know each other.
She smiled up at him then leaned her head on his arm, the top of her head barely reaching his shoulder. As her head rested against him her hand twisted slightly in his and Rory felt a sudden swoop in the pit of his stomach. He stopped walking. Jane pulled back and looked up at him in concerned query. He bent down and captured her lips with his own. The swoop blossomed into a warmth that exploded out through his chest as she slipped her arms around his waist and kissed him back. After a few minutes he straightened up, reluctantly, as his back protested the height difference between them, but leaving his arms still looped around her back.
‘That was nice,’ she said, her eyes crinkling.
‘Yeah it was,’ he said. ‘I don’t want this to end. Should we … walk more?’ He gestured towards the path they had been walking. The evening was getting cooler and the sun had started to set, coating the greenery around them in a warm glow and casting a purple tone over the nearby buildings.
‘We could walk more or we could go somewhere more … private.’ The blush was back on Jane’s cheeks but she was looking him firmly in the eye. It hadn’t occurred to Rory to take her home, but he didn’t need to be asked twice. What better way to put Amy firmly out of his mind than by sleeping with someone else? Pushing aside the knowledge that this was extremely unfair to Jane, who seemed to genuinely like him, Rory gulped and nodded. He took her hand again and led her back to his car.
‘Should we go to my place, then? She asked. ‘It’s just it’s a bit closer than yours.’
‘Sure,’ Rory agreed without hesitation. Her place sounded good - much less chance there of running into Amy or anyone who might mention this to her. Rory didn’t know how he felt about Jane, but he was strangely reluctant to let anyone know about this moment. He had an idea that Amy wouldn’t react very well, though why that would be he wasn’t quite sure.
As they drove off, Rory’s favourite song came on the CD player. He hummed along guiltily - this was the album he and Amy had chosen together, the one she always teased him about because it was much heavier than anything else he listened to. The song even reminded him painfully of Amy: ‘she is the butcher, she wants the air, she hides the scars under her hair’ - Amy definitely had scars on top of metaphorical scars that she carefully hid from the world. Jane was silent beside him and he glanced over at her.
‘You alright?’ he asked.
‘Yeah, just thinking.’ She said. She was silent for a few moments, then added, ‘I don’t usually do this … not this soon, I mean.’
‘No. Me too. I mean, I don’t either.’ Rory stammered. In fact, he’d never done this at all, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Did you just blurt this sort of thing out? Like … ‘hey, this is my first time with a woman, be gentle with me’? It seemed somewhat shameful that he’d gotten to this age without having sex with someone. At that thought, terror gripped him and his hands slid on the steering wheel. He certainly hadn’t been expecting this when he asked the shy nursing student to go on a date with him; he’d had no time to plan or work himself up to this.
‘It’s just …’ Jane stopped and took a breath and he glanced over at her. ‘I really like you, Rory. I noticed you right from the first day in class and I’ve been really glad we got to know each other better. You’re a really nice guy - a keeper, my Gran used to say.’
Guilt twisted in Rory’s heart. It sounded like Jane expected something long term but Rory wasn’t sure what he wanted. He was having a very pleasant time with Jane, and kissing her was certainly very nice, but he didn’t feel like this was someone he’d be spending the rest of his life with and it seemed distinctly unfair to go into this knowing he was still caught up in Amy and knowing he was unlikely to be with Jane long term. Obviously Rory knew, from discussions with other guys, that sex didn’t have to be about forever but he did feel that maybe it would be fairer for someone like Jane if he was honest with her.
They pulled up outside her house and he quickly shut the engine off. In the sudden silence Rory made up his mind.
‘Jane, look. I’ve not been entirely honest with you.’ He carefully avoided looking at her but he could feel her eyes on him. ‘I’m not experienced. I mean … I haven’t …’ He shrugged uncomfortably. ‘And I’m not even sure how I feel about all this, I mean about me … and you’ he waved his hands between them, trying to illustrate whatever it was that was sitting between them. He bit his lip and risked looking at her again. ‘Look, if you want to tell me to bugger off, I understand.’
Jane laughed, the sound a little bitter. ‘It sounds like you’re the one who wants to bugger off.’
‘No. No, I don’t. I’m just … not used to this. I’m not sure what to do …’ he trailed off miserably, thinking of how much easier this would be with Amy. For a start she’d be taking charge, not sitting back and waiting for him to make the move. He reminded himself that Amy didn’t want him and Jane did. She liked him, she’d never insulted him and they had a lot in common. Why not see if this could become ‘something’? They had fun together, after all, and if he was going to forget Amy he had to start somewhere. Just because he wasn’t madly in love right now, that didn’t mean he couldn’t grow into it and Jane was the type of woman his dad was always telling him he should be looking for. Nice, sensible and stable. The message had always been clear even though never articulated: not someone like Amy, not someone impulsive, unpredictable, and flashy.
Determined to stop thinking of Amy, Rory leaned over and kissed Jane again.
‘That’s a good start,’ she whispered a few minutes later as they pulled apart, breathless. ‘Come on, let’s go inside. It’s getting cold out here.’
Rory nodded and allowed her to twine her fingers with his as they walked up to the door. He still wasn’t sure what he wanted out of this, but he was willing to try to make it work.
Prologue