Time has passed, so much has changed...
It's funny, when people ususally do something like this, they already come up with their words made. With a huge text that they want to write, to their loved person or something like that, so already knowing waht to do or say, all those beautiful words that will make the said loved person to melt, go fall even more in love, to smile, to cry of happines,s to cry of so much in love that they are. But I can't do that. I can't write pre-made things. You know, lvoe, that my lyrics are likie this, things that I think and feel and that come out as it is, without much thinking, more emotion and less plannning on the thing.
I realized that has been a long time since I haven't done anything like this to you. You ksee, love, our life changed so much... didn't it? HAHAHAHA has been such a long time since the last time I came here... since the last time I used this journal, and while browsing around the past pages, this.... feleing, this tickle started getitng to my chest, you know...? Like when yo'ure seieng somethign extremeli nostalgic, made of good and bad memorie,s yes, but that makes you smile and miss it so much anyway, and somehow wish that you could live all of that again, just to feel that feeling once more? It was like this.
But it wasnt' like this because I'm not happy with my nowdays, no. It was like this because the more I'd read, the more I'd realize again and again that'd go through everything again. I'd go through everything without thinking twice, just because it all leaded me to you. And I mwouldn't care for the bad moment,s I wouldn't acre nor even for our fights, for een that'd draw me closer to you. Everytime I'd get a little bit closer to you and for that, love... to live all of that again, I would gladly go through all that we went through, I swear I would. Through the fights, through the whole drinking, to that unbearably annoying self that I was, HAHAHAHAHA.... I would go through all of the things form our past, simply because I love every single minute of my life where you were, and if I could, I would live them forever. Simply like this, for ever.
And seeing all of this makes me think about how it doesn't even seem as if so much time has gone by, alredy. I found the entry when I talk about Kei, where he was only a tiny little new born, and now look at him, he just turned five! HAHAHAHA how.. how weird is that, love...? Not only that, but soon Aki will also be five years old, and Ren and Shiki getting older too, Rina is almost a teenager now... I can remember when I dind't even like her yet, when I was jealous, remember? It was as if it's yesertday... HAHAHAHA. So... so many things ahppened to us, we moved hosues and came to Mie, we adopted four children, our band grew up so much, we changed styles, we changed a bit on our personallities, but for the better... and even my lvoe for you has changed. You se,e the more time goes by, the more I love you more. The more I want to be emrbaced by you, the more I want to hold you and kiss your lips, the more I want us to try to escape and have a wild night of making love, making me scream and get my legs so lsitless I won't be even able to wlak or sit on the morning next, hahahahahahahahahaha....
I love you, Yuu. More than anything, I love you and love the life that you gave to me. I lvoe how you made me become a better person, I love.... when you smile, I love when you smmile to me, I love it when you hld me... when you kiss me, when you wake me up in the morning, on the rare occasions that I wake up after you, HAHAHAHAHA. I love you and I love it when we kiss.... I love it when we are so horny that we make love on the whole house, I love your hands caressing me, touching me, protecting me and shletering me when Im' nto okay, for whatever reason... I lvoe when you make me gorgeous huge surprises or when you come all kinda shy, sayign that you havent' prepared nothing in special, only because seieng you like this is too cute. I love when y'oure being silly, I lvoe it when you piss me off so much and LAUGh at me, thinking that I'm not angry with you, even wehn I do am, HAHAHAHA. I love you... in all the ways that I can, and some even more, and I swear that I could stay here saying how and whant and when I love you, for the rest of my life, and this still... would never be enough to say all the absurdly huge and tinny little things that are the reason why I love you, my love...
But as much as I want to sya them all, I have to admit that I can't even find words to represent what I feel or what I'm wanting to say... and the truth is that all that I want to say is that I love you.
I love you, Shiroyama Yuu.
I love you more than anythign on this world, I lvoe you more than I can imagine, I love you..... and I lvoe you.
Thank ou for being.. the greatest husband in the whole world. Thank you for giving me the best life I could ever have, thank you so much, love.
I love you.
With all my life.
I love you.