Giving Up (On You And Me) (RPS, J²)
Title: Giving Up (On You And Me)
Author: Kate (deanscookie)
Rating: PG-13 for language, sexual content and angst
Category: RPS; Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Word Count: 2,465
Spoilers: None
Summary: Jared and Jensen are falling apart. Can they fix things before it’s too late?
Disclaimer: Jared and Jensen own each other, Jared owns Chad, Mike owns Tom and Chris owns them all.
Notes: GASP. I wrote RPS! *falls* My first time writing real person fic of any kind, so be gentle, okay? This was written for marquise_audi who wanted J² break-up fic. Here you go, dear, hope it lives up to your expectations. Love and sparkly things to papered and browncoatjack for beta'ing. ♥
"GIVING UP (ON YOU AND ME)"
Jensen woke slowly, stretching lazily. He rolled his eyes as his feet hit Jared's, icy cold and all over on Jensen's side of the bed. Jared was too fucking huge; he never could stay on his own side. Jensen rolled over and looked at Jared, who was still asleep. Jared's hair was mussed, sticking up all over his pillow. Jensen smiled a little; he constantly complained about Jared's messy hair, always teasing him about how long it was. But honestly, he loved it.
"What's that schmoopy smile all about?" Jared was awake, watching Jensen with his eyebrow arched.
"Schmoopy? Is that even a word?" Jensen rolled onto his back.
"'Course it is!" Jared leaned over him, grinning wickedly. "And that smile was totally schmoopy." He leaned down.
Jensen couldn't help it, his lips twitched up at the corners, anticipating Jared's kiss. But it never came. Instead, Jared bit down on the tip of Jensen's nose, growling.
"Dude, what the hell?" Jensen pushed Jared off of him and rolled off the bed. Jared was laughing, laying back on the bed and looking at Jensen.
Jensen walked to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway to look back at Jared. "Well? Are you coming or what?" Jared's smile widened and he bounced- yes, bounced- off the bed and over to Jensen. Jensen smacked him on the shoulder as he passed. "You're such an idiot."
Jared just laughed.
x.x.x
"Could you please just stop? Please?" Jensen's voice was sharp and irritated.
Jared looked up from where he was playing with his PSP. "What?"
Jensen put down the script he was trying to read and glared at Jared. "That stupid game. It makes the most annoying noises ever, and so do you when you play it. And I'm trying to read this," he waved the script at Jared, "but I can't fucking concentrate! So could you just not?"
"Look, I'm sorry, man. I'll just turn it off." Jared set the game down on the table and looked at Jensen with raised eyebrows. "Sorry," he said again.
Jensen shoved away from the table. "It's too late now, I'm just gonna' go take a shower."
Jared smiled at him tentatively. "Want some company?"
"No." Jensen stopped and sighed, rubbing his forehead. That came out sharper than he'd intended. "No, Jared. I just need some time to myself, okay?"
Jared nodded, looking hurt. "Yeah, sure, whatever you say, Jen."
Jensen left the room. He walked slowly down the hallway to the bathroom. Things had been strange with him and Jared lately. Tight. Anxious. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were. He wanted them to be happy again. Was no more fighting too much to ask for? Jensen sighed again. He was beginning to think it was.
x.x.x
"Jensen?" Jared's hand was warm on his shoulder. "You awake?"
Jensen laid still on his side of the bed, his back towards Jared.
"Come on, Jen, I know you're awake. Talk to me."
Jensen stayed silent. Please, Jared, I don't want to fight.
"Jen, please. Talk to me." Jared's voice was small, timid.
Jensen sighed and rolled over. "What is it, Jay?" He felt Jared relax at the use of his nickname.
There was a beat of silence. "I'm sorry. For today. For... what I said."
Jensen studied Jared for a moment, reflecting on the day's events. He and Jared had a huge fight. On set. They’d never let their personal lives interfere with their jobs before. But things had been so fucked up lately, and Jensen didn't know what to do. "Jared..." Jensen ran his hands through his hair. And then he gave in. "I'm sorry, too." He smiled tightly at Jared.
Jared relaxed completely, his smile widening. "Good," he breathed. "That's good, Jen, thanks." He laid down; half beside Jensen, half on top of him and snuggled close until his head was tucked under Jensen's chin.
Jensen curled his arms around Jared, reaching up and tangling his fingers in Jared's hair. For several minutes the only sound in the room was their breathing. Jensen broke the silence with a question that had been bothering him for weeks. "What's happening to us, Jay?"
Jared curled up tighter, closer to Jensen. "I don't know."
"I mean, why can't we be happy anymore? Seems like we're constantly fighting. Remember when we were always happy?"
Jared nodded against his chest. "Jen," his voice was tight, "Is this what falling apart feels like? Are we falling apart?"
"No," Jensen growled, pulling Jared's head up level with his. "No, Jared. We're gonna' be fine, you hear me?" He kissed Jared hard. The kiss was brutal, desperate, begging. Don't let me go.
When they finally broke apart for air, both men were panting. "You hear me?" Jensen stroked his hand down Jared's face. Jared nodded again, his eyes bright.
x.x.x
"You're a complete asshole, you know that?" Jared was livid, and that was saying something. It took a lot to get Jared angry.
"Oh, really?" Jensen was equally pissed. Both men faced each other, hands fisted, breath coming fast. "Is that what you think?"
"Yeah, that's what I think." Jared stepped up into Jensen's face, towering over him. And if that didn't just make Jensen even angrier. That fucking height difference. "You've never given Chad even half a chance, you've always just looked down your nose at him. Like you're so much better than him, or something."
Jensen rolled his eyes. "The guy's a complete jackwad; everyone is better than him."
Jared was spluttering angrily. "Yeah, everyone except Christian fucking Kane." He sneered at Jensen. "At least Chad's never showed up on our doorstep completely hammered."
"Oh, fuck you!" Jensen stalked away angrily.
Jared followed him. "Jensen, do you really think now is the time for that?"
The crack of Jensen's fist against Jared's jaw echoed through the silent apartment. Jensen stared at Jared, in shock. He hadn't planned that, hadn't seen it coming at all. Neither of them had.
"Jay, I..."
"Get out." Jared wasn't looking at Jensen.
"What? Jared, come on, man, I didn't mean-"
"Jensen, just get the fuck out!"
Jensen stiffened. "Fine, if that's how you want it." He grabbed his jacket and walked to the door, jerking it open violently. "It is, technically, your apartment, right?"
Jared flinched. It had been their apartment for months now. "Just go."
The door slammed loudly and Jared slid down the wall, burying his head in his hands.
x.x.x
"Jared? C'mon, man, I know you're home. Pick up the phone. Please? Jared, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it, I didn't mean... Just call me. Okay? Please."
"Jay, pick up the fucking phone. Now. I'm serious, Jared, pick up the phone or I'm coming over there and kicking your fucking door down. Why won't you just talk to me? Don't you want to fix this? Don't you miss me? Jay... I miss you."
"Is this how you want it? Fine. Fine, then. If you just want to throw everything away, if you just want to give up, fine. I give up. I give up on you, I give up on us, I give up on everything. Fuck. Fuck, Jared, why are you doing this? Why? Are you honestly trying to tell me you don't love me anymore? I still love you. God, I love you so much. I miss you so much. I... It doesn't matter. I give up, remember? It's over. Just stay away from me. I can't see you now, I just can't. I can't believe I'm saying this... We're over."
x.x.x
It's been three weeks. Three goddamned weeks since they'd fought. Since he'd hit Jared. Since Jensen broke up with Jared's answering machine. Jared hadn't called, Jensen hadn't seen him around anywhere; nothing. Jensen was going out of his mind. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night and reached out for Jared. Then he would remember that Jared wasn't there, that he was gone. It was times like that when Jensen really wished he was a girl; that he could just curl up with a tub of ice cream, cry and move on. But he couldn't.
Mike and Tom were just about fed up with Jensen's moping. They ambushed him one night when Jensen was sitting at home, drinking a beer and watching some stupid infomercial. He’d been planning to get totally drunk, but apparently, Mike and Tom had other ideas.
"Get up!" Mike clapped his hands loudly in front of Jensen's face.
Jensen glared at him. "Get the fuck out, Rosenbaum."
Mike just grinned. "You kiss your mother with that mouth, Ackles? Come on, get up! We're going out."
"No, we're not." Jensen took another swig of his beer.
"Yes, we are." Tom grabbed Jensen's beer right out of his hand. The bastard was fast.
They dragged Jensen to his feet, made him change his shirt, and off they went. They ended up at a little bar on the edge of town. It was unfamiliar; Jared and Jensen had never gone out there. Jensen was grateful for that; and he was pretty sure that it was mostly thanks to Tom, Mike never bothered with stuff like that.
"Okay!" Mike walked briskly forward into the room. "I say we get some drinks, some women, get totally drunk, then get laid. What do you guys think?" He wiggled his eyebrows at them.
Tom was grinning. "Sounds good, man. I say we..." His smile faltered and his eyes widened. "Leave. I don't really like this place anyway, let's just go." He grabbed Jensen's arm and pulled him towards the door.
"What the hell are you talking about, Welling?" He looked around for what had spooked Tom. "Why-" He froze. There was Jared, sitting in the corner booth. And he wasn't alone. He was with someone, a guy. And that was just the problem; it was a guy. He remembered a talk he'd had with Jared at the beginning of their relationship.
"I'm not gay or bi or whatever, Jensen. I've never liked guys before. But you... With you, things are different. You're special."
Jensen's throat closed up. Had that all been a lie? Had he ever really been "special" to Jared? He sure as hell wasn't now, that was obvious.
"Well, fuck." Mike had spotted Jared. "Yeah, let's just go, Jenny." He grabbed Jensen's other arm and tugged him towards the door. "Jensen, come on."
"No." Jensen was pissed. He yanked his arms free and stalked over to Jared's table. Jared looked up as Jensen approached; his mouth formed a little "o" of surprise and his eyes widened to almost comical proportions. Jensen really wanted to hit him again. "Hey, Jared, what's up?" His voice was hard; it didn't sound right, even to his own ears.
"Jensen. What... what're you doing here?" Jared's voice was shaky.
"Oh, nothing. Just hanging out with friends." He waved over his shoulder at Tom and Mike. Jared's eyes flicked over to them then back to Jensen. "What about you?"
Jared looked over at the guy sitting next to him. "I... I mean, you know..." Jared coughed, clearing his throat. "Same. Just, hanging out with a friend." He smiled tightly at Jensen. The guy looked a little put out.
Jensen's smile felt more like a sneer on his face. "Oh, come on, Jared." He leaned forward, splaying his hands on the table. "He looks like more than a friend." Jensen leaned forward a little more, lowering his voice. "He looks really... special."
Jared flinched. He remembered. Jared remembered everything. Bastard. "Jensen..."
"I gotta' go." Jensen stood up. "See you around, Jay." The nickname came out like a curse; cold and cruel. Jared flinched again and somewhere inside him Jensen's gut twisted into a little knot. Or maybe it was his heart.
x.x.x
"Jensen? It's me. Jared. Pick up your phone, man. He wasn't anybody, I swear. It was nothing, nothing happened. C'mon, dude, we can work this out. Call me back as soon as you get this, okay? I don't want to give up."
"Jen, pick up the goddamned phone. I know you're there, I know it. Why are you so stubborn? God... I hate this, Jen. I hate not having you around, sleeping alone. Please. God, Jen, please call me."
"I hate you. I hate you so much. I hate your stupid, pretty eyes and your stupid, girly lips. And... and your stupid lips! I hate you so fucking much, Jensen, do you hear me? I hate you. I'm drunk, you know that? I never drink when I'm angry, turns me into someone I don't like. A bad guy. Man. I'm a man, Jensen, y'hear? I don't need you and I don't want you. I hate you. I hate you... God, Jensen, I love you."
x.x.x
Pounding on his front door woke Jensen up. He grumbled and buried his head under his pillow. Mike could just piss off, Jensen wasn't doing anything today. The pounding got louder, more insistent. Jensen groaned and rolled out of bed. "Rosenbaum, you freaky little bastard! Just piss-" He stopped as the door swung open. It wasn't Mike. It was Jared. "What the fuck do you want?" Jared flinched at the harsh tone of Jensen's voice. Jared's always been twitchy when he's upset. Jensen used to think it was cute.
"You, um, haven't been answering the phone or, y'know, returning my calls." Jared shifted from one foot to the other.
Jensen almost laughed. "Are you kidding me?"
Jared looked guilty. "Look, Jensen, I-"
"No, you look, Jared." Jensen glared at him. "I tried to fix this. I tried to get you to talk to me, to work things out. You didn't want to. You wouldn't take my calls or return my messages. So, that's it, Jared. I gave up. It's over."
"No! Jensen, come on, man, please-" Jared stepped forward. reaching out for Jensen.
Jensen jerked back. "Don't touch me."
Jared's hands fell to his sides. His eyes were bright with tears. "Jensen..."
"No, Jared. Just no. I trusted you, I loved you, and you..." You hurt me. No, Jensen wouldn't be such a fucking girl. "It's over," he said again.
"No, Jensen, no," Jared's voice was thick with tears. "It can't be over. It just can't."
Jensen's eyes were burning now; but he refused to cry in front of Jared. "Then how come it is?" He shut his front door slowly, trying not to look at the tears that were now falling freely down Jared's face. Jensen felt something inside of him break.
This time, he was sure it was his heart.
THE END
A/N: Yes, I totally just blamed Chad for Jensen and Jared breaking up. *evol* Also, I have no plans for a sequel. *ducks from various objects being thrown at her* But! I will fix them if you ask real pretty-like. ;D And give me cookies! And chocolate! And nekkid!Jensen! Then I’ll fix them.
I wrote a sequel! ;D You're All I Want (And Everything I Need)
Author: Kate (deanscookie)
Rating: PG-13 for language, sexual content and angst
Category: RPS; Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Word Count: 2,465
Spoilers: None
Summary: Jared and Jensen are falling apart. Can they fix things before it’s too late?
Disclaimer: Jared and Jensen own each other, Jared owns Chad, Mike owns Tom and Chris owns them all.
Notes: GASP. I wrote RPS! *falls* My first time writing real person fic of any kind, so be gentle, okay? This was written for marquise_audi who wanted J² break-up fic. Here you go, dear, hope it lives up to your expectations. Love and sparkly things to papered and browncoatjack for beta'ing. ♥
"GIVING UP (ON YOU AND ME)"
Jensen woke slowly, stretching lazily. He rolled his eyes as his feet hit Jared's, icy cold and all over on Jensen's side of the bed. Jared was too fucking huge; he never could stay on his own side. Jensen rolled over and looked at Jared, who was still asleep. Jared's hair was mussed, sticking up all over his pillow. Jensen smiled a little; he constantly complained about Jared's messy hair, always teasing him about how long it was. But honestly, he loved it.
"What's that schmoopy smile all about?" Jared was awake, watching Jensen with his eyebrow arched.
"Schmoopy? Is that even a word?" Jensen rolled onto his back.
"'Course it is!" Jared leaned over him, grinning wickedly. "And that smile was totally schmoopy." He leaned down.
Jensen couldn't help it, his lips twitched up at the corners, anticipating Jared's kiss. But it never came. Instead, Jared bit down on the tip of Jensen's nose, growling.
"Dude, what the hell?" Jensen pushed Jared off of him and rolled off the bed. Jared was laughing, laying back on the bed and looking at Jensen.
Jensen walked to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway to look back at Jared. "Well? Are you coming or what?" Jared's smile widened and he bounced- yes, bounced- off the bed and over to Jensen. Jensen smacked him on the shoulder as he passed. "You're such an idiot."
Jared just laughed.
x.x.x
"Could you please just stop? Please?" Jensen's voice was sharp and irritated.
Jared looked up from where he was playing with his PSP. "What?"
Jensen put down the script he was trying to read and glared at Jared. "That stupid game. It makes the most annoying noises ever, and so do you when you play it. And I'm trying to read this," he waved the script at Jared, "but I can't fucking concentrate! So could you just not?"
"Look, I'm sorry, man. I'll just turn it off." Jared set the game down on the table and looked at Jensen with raised eyebrows. "Sorry," he said again.
Jensen shoved away from the table. "It's too late now, I'm just gonna' go take a shower."
Jared smiled at him tentatively. "Want some company?"
"No." Jensen stopped and sighed, rubbing his forehead. That came out sharper than he'd intended. "No, Jared. I just need some time to myself, okay?"
Jared nodded, looking hurt. "Yeah, sure, whatever you say, Jen."
Jensen left the room. He walked slowly down the hallway to the bathroom. Things had been strange with him and Jared lately. Tight. Anxious. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were. He wanted them to be happy again. Was no more fighting too much to ask for? Jensen sighed again. He was beginning to think it was.
x.x.x
"Jensen?" Jared's hand was warm on his shoulder. "You awake?"
Jensen laid still on his side of the bed, his back towards Jared.
"Come on, Jen, I know you're awake. Talk to me."
Jensen stayed silent. Please, Jared, I don't want to fight.
"Jen, please. Talk to me." Jared's voice was small, timid.
Jensen sighed and rolled over. "What is it, Jay?" He felt Jared relax at the use of his nickname.
There was a beat of silence. "I'm sorry. For today. For... what I said."
Jensen studied Jared for a moment, reflecting on the day's events. He and Jared had a huge fight. On set. They’d never let their personal lives interfere with their jobs before. But things had been so fucked up lately, and Jensen didn't know what to do. "Jared..." Jensen ran his hands through his hair. And then he gave in. "I'm sorry, too." He smiled tightly at Jared.
Jared relaxed completely, his smile widening. "Good," he breathed. "That's good, Jen, thanks." He laid down; half beside Jensen, half on top of him and snuggled close until his head was tucked under Jensen's chin.
Jensen curled his arms around Jared, reaching up and tangling his fingers in Jared's hair. For several minutes the only sound in the room was their breathing. Jensen broke the silence with a question that had been bothering him for weeks. "What's happening to us, Jay?"
Jared curled up tighter, closer to Jensen. "I don't know."
"I mean, why can't we be happy anymore? Seems like we're constantly fighting. Remember when we were always happy?"
Jared nodded against his chest. "Jen," his voice was tight, "Is this what falling apart feels like? Are we falling apart?"
"No," Jensen growled, pulling Jared's head up level with his. "No, Jared. We're gonna' be fine, you hear me?" He kissed Jared hard. The kiss was brutal, desperate, begging. Don't let me go.
When they finally broke apart for air, both men were panting. "You hear me?" Jensen stroked his hand down Jared's face. Jared nodded again, his eyes bright.
x.x.x
"You're a complete asshole, you know that?" Jared was livid, and that was saying something. It took a lot to get Jared angry.
"Oh, really?" Jensen was equally pissed. Both men faced each other, hands fisted, breath coming fast. "Is that what you think?"
"Yeah, that's what I think." Jared stepped up into Jensen's face, towering over him. And if that didn't just make Jensen even angrier. That fucking height difference. "You've never given Chad even half a chance, you've always just looked down your nose at him. Like you're so much better than him, or something."
Jensen rolled his eyes. "The guy's a complete jackwad; everyone is better than him."
Jared was spluttering angrily. "Yeah, everyone except Christian fucking Kane." He sneered at Jensen. "At least Chad's never showed up on our doorstep completely hammered."
"Oh, fuck you!" Jensen stalked away angrily.
Jared followed him. "Jensen, do you really think now is the time for that?"
The crack of Jensen's fist against Jared's jaw echoed through the silent apartment. Jensen stared at Jared, in shock. He hadn't planned that, hadn't seen it coming at all. Neither of them had.
"Jay, I..."
"Get out." Jared wasn't looking at Jensen.
"What? Jared, come on, man, I didn't mean-"
"Jensen, just get the fuck out!"
Jensen stiffened. "Fine, if that's how you want it." He grabbed his jacket and walked to the door, jerking it open violently. "It is, technically, your apartment, right?"
Jared flinched. It had been their apartment for months now. "Just go."
The door slammed loudly and Jared slid down the wall, burying his head in his hands.
x.x.x
"Jared? C'mon, man, I know you're home. Pick up the phone. Please? Jared, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it, I didn't mean... Just call me. Okay? Please."
"Jay, pick up the fucking phone. Now. I'm serious, Jared, pick up the phone or I'm coming over there and kicking your fucking door down. Why won't you just talk to me? Don't you want to fix this? Don't you miss me? Jay... I miss you."
"Is this how you want it? Fine. Fine, then. If you just want to throw everything away, if you just want to give up, fine. I give up. I give up on you, I give up on us, I give up on everything. Fuck. Fuck, Jared, why are you doing this? Why? Are you honestly trying to tell me you don't love me anymore? I still love you. God, I love you so much. I miss you so much. I... It doesn't matter. I give up, remember? It's over. Just stay away from me. I can't see you now, I just can't. I can't believe I'm saying this... We're over."
x.x.x
It's been three weeks. Three goddamned weeks since they'd fought. Since he'd hit Jared. Since Jensen broke up with Jared's answering machine. Jared hadn't called, Jensen hadn't seen him around anywhere; nothing. Jensen was going out of his mind. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night and reached out for Jared. Then he would remember that Jared wasn't there, that he was gone. It was times like that when Jensen really wished he was a girl; that he could just curl up with a tub of ice cream, cry and move on. But he couldn't.
Mike and Tom were just about fed up with Jensen's moping. They ambushed him one night when Jensen was sitting at home, drinking a beer and watching some stupid infomercial. He’d been planning to get totally drunk, but apparently, Mike and Tom had other ideas.
"Get up!" Mike clapped his hands loudly in front of Jensen's face.
Jensen glared at him. "Get the fuck out, Rosenbaum."
Mike just grinned. "You kiss your mother with that mouth, Ackles? Come on, get up! We're going out."
"No, we're not." Jensen took another swig of his beer.
"Yes, we are." Tom grabbed Jensen's beer right out of his hand. The bastard was fast.
They dragged Jensen to his feet, made him change his shirt, and off they went. They ended up at a little bar on the edge of town. It was unfamiliar; Jared and Jensen had never gone out there. Jensen was grateful for that; and he was pretty sure that it was mostly thanks to Tom, Mike never bothered with stuff like that.
"Okay!" Mike walked briskly forward into the room. "I say we get some drinks, some women, get totally drunk, then get laid. What do you guys think?" He wiggled his eyebrows at them.
Tom was grinning. "Sounds good, man. I say we..." His smile faltered and his eyes widened. "Leave. I don't really like this place anyway, let's just go." He grabbed Jensen's arm and pulled him towards the door.
"What the hell are you talking about, Welling?" He looked around for what had spooked Tom. "Why-" He froze. There was Jared, sitting in the corner booth. And he wasn't alone. He was with someone, a guy. And that was just the problem; it was a guy. He remembered a talk he'd had with Jared at the beginning of their relationship.
"I'm not gay or bi or whatever, Jensen. I've never liked guys before. But you... With you, things are different. You're special."
Jensen's throat closed up. Had that all been a lie? Had he ever really been "special" to Jared? He sure as hell wasn't now, that was obvious.
"Well, fuck." Mike had spotted Jared. "Yeah, let's just go, Jenny." He grabbed Jensen's other arm and tugged him towards the door. "Jensen, come on."
"No." Jensen was pissed. He yanked his arms free and stalked over to Jared's table. Jared looked up as Jensen approached; his mouth formed a little "o" of surprise and his eyes widened to almost comical proportions. Jensen really wanted to hit him again. "Hey, Jared, what's up?" His voice was hard; it didn't sound right, even to his own ears.
"Jensen. What... what're you doing here?" Jared's voice was shaky.
"Oh, nothing. Just hanging out with friends." He waved over his shoulder at Tom and Mike. Jared's eyes flicked over to them then back to Jensen. "What about you?"
Jared looked over at the guy sitting next to him. "I... I mean, you know..." Jared coughed, clearing his throat. "Same. Just, hanging out with a friend." He smiled tightly at Jensen. The guy looked a little put out.
Jensen's smile felt more like a sneer on his face. "Oh, come on, Jared." He leaned forward, splaying his hands on the table. "He looks like more than a friend." Jensen leaned forward a little more, lowering his voice. "He looks really... special."
Jared flinched. He remembered. Jared remembered everything. Bastard. "Jensen..."
"I gotta' go." Jensen stood up. "See you around, Jay." The nickname came out like a curse; cold and cruel. Jared flinched again and somewhere inside him Jensen's gut twisted into a little knot. Or maybe it was his heart.
x.x.x
"Jensen? It's me. Jared. Pick up your phone, man. He wasn't anybody, I swear. It was nothing, nothing happened. C'mon, dude, we can work this out. Call me back as soon as you get this, okay? I don't want to give up."
"Jen, pick up the goddamned phone. I know you're there, I know it. Why are you so stubborn? God... I hate this, Jen. I hate not having you around, sleeping alone. Please. God, Jen, please call me."
"I hate you. I hate you so much. I hate your stupid, pretty eyes and your stupid, girly lips. And... and your stupid lips! I hate you so fucking much, Jensen, do you hear me? I hate you. I'm drunk, you know that? I never drink when I'm angry, turns me into someone I don't like. A bad guy. Man. I'm a man, Jensen, y'hear? I don't need you and I don't want you. I hate you. I hate you... God, Jensen, I love you."
x.x.x
Pounding on his front door woke Jensen up. He grumbled and buried his head under his pillow. Mike could just piss off, Jensen wasn't doing anything today. The pounding got louder, more insistent. Jensen groaned and rolled out of bed. "Rosenbaum, you freaky little bastard! Just piss-" He stopped as the door swung open. It wasn't Mike. It was Jared. "What the fuck do you want?" Jared flinched at the harsh tone of Jensen's voice. Jared's always been twitchy when he's upset. Jensen used to think it was cute.
"You, um, haven't been answering the phone or, y'know, returning my calls." Jared shifted from one foot to the other.
Jensen almost laughed. "Are you kidding me?"
Jared looked guilty. "Look, Jensen, I-"
"No, you look, Jared." Jensen glared at him. "I tried to fix this. I tried to get you to talk to me, to work things out. You didn't want to. You wouldn't take my calls or return my messages. So, that's it, Jared. I gave up. It's over."
"No! Jensen, come on, man, please-" Jared stepped forward. reaching out for Jensen.
Jensen jerked back. "Don't touch me."
Jared's hands fell to his sides. His eyes were bright with tears. "Jensen..."
"No, Jared. Just no. I trusted you, I loved you, and you..." You hurt me. No, Jensen wouldn't be such a fucking girl. "It's over," he said again.
"No, Jensen, no," Jared's voice was thick with tears. "It can't be over. It just can't."
Jensen's eyes were burning now; but he refused to cry in front of Jared. "Then how come it is?" He shut his front door slowly, trying not to look at the tears that were now falling freely down Jared's face. Jensen felt something inside of him break.
This time, he was sure it was his heart.
THE END
A/N: Yes, I totally just blamed Chad for Jensen and Jared breaking up. *evol* Also, I have no plans for a sequel. *ducks from various objects being thrown at her* But! I will fix them if you ask real pretty-like. ;D And give me cookies! And chocolate! And nekkid!Jensen! Then I’ll fix them.
I wrote a sequel! ;D You're All I Want (And Everything I Need)